Springtime

It is still…just…so…lovely outside!!  Yet again a perfect blue sky bright sunshine luscious jasmine kind of day here.  And so yes once again after work, I walked down Heights and had my (as is now tradition!) reading time on the porch there.  I keep thinking summer is here, but not yet.  Not yet.  The walk to the coffeeshop was framed in brilliantly blossoming green and flowers and all kinds of growing things…and it was all so beautiful.  It is good to consider the loving creative grandeur of our God.  And now I am back inside, about to have a relaxing sushi dinner…but thought I could at least express(faintly – oh so faintly!) the joy of my heart and the love that I feel washing over my soul.  Because, truly regardless of all the external wonders that surround, I think on the fact that I am loved by God and I realise I need no other gift than this.  The love of my Saviour.  The love of my God.

Be at peace and be at rest, all you, my dearest friends.

Tinted Blue

So this morning as I drove in, I resolved I was going to try and write an actual poem this morning.  Alas, my resolve wavered and quickly fell apart once I actually sat down at my desk here.  I sadly got distracted by various emails and other things and now I can only confess my muse has been shattered in a thousand pieces and there is no chance of any creative output…at least for the now.  Honestly – it’s probably for the best as I was contemplating writing a somewhat sentimental, romantic piece…which who wants to read anyway, am I right?

So I suppose I shall just write a few more words expressing my joy at what I read this morning in my morning reading time.  Beautiful words in various places, but in my continued progression through Genesis, was encouraged anew at reading on Abraham’s life and his obedience to God.  Our Lord God came to him when he was 99 and promised that he and Sarah would have a son.  She was 90 and he was 99…and they were promised a son!  Abraham laughs, Sarah laughs, there is laughter all around.  (Even when Sarah denies it and talks back to God, “I didn’t laugh.”  Our Lord: “Oh yes you did.”  Is it bad that I laughed?)  Anyways!  God renewed his covenant with Abraham and then made circumcision the sign of this covenant and commands Abraham in this.  And what does Abraham do?  He that very day obeyed God and had himself and his whole house circumcised.  He may have laughed at the thought that he would have a son but he did not hesitate in obeying God in this awkward and somewhat painful rite.  I hope I would as eagerly and quickly obey God in my own life.  Oh may we all be so desirous to follow our Lord in all that He asks us to do!

And I could go on and talk about God sharing his plans for Sodom with Abraham and I could share how Abraham is beginning to fulfill his role as mediator as he pleads for the cities that they be spared and I could say a few words about Lot and how despite the fact that he was a righteous man whose heart was grieved at the sins of the land was nevertheless weak, sinful and fearful and subsequently mightily suffered the consequences of his sins.  But no – for now, I just want to think on the life of Abraham and that when he was confronted with the Lord God Almighty standing before him, he obeyed God.

May we all – as we with unveiled faces contemplate the glories of the Lord and meditate on the wonders of His grace to us – relish the chances we have this day to obey our God in all things.  Despite the fact that oft our hearts are hot and frantic within us, may we be at peace this day as we consider the love of Christ Jesus our Lord.

Sleeping Kittens

I am having a restful evening tonight. So happy. Had a (fairly?) productive Saturday…now eating my burrito dinner and Rockets/Thunder game about to start. So I am looking forward to a fun evening of basketball with a little bit of reading on the side. The march through Owen must continue!! Quite encouraging reading about the Holy Spirit and His work…in my life and the lives of all those who believe and in all things as God wills. Alright, no rambling from me tonight. Be at peace, dear friends one and all. Peace and love.

Waiting

My latest read:

10.  The Great Hunt by Robert Jordan.  Finished reading this last night on the porch of EQ, sun shining bright.  Now already on to the third book in series!  But…this one was great fun and once again I forgot how many dramatic events happened in this book!  Rand’s first real duel with swords(goodbye Turak), Egwene’s experience with the Seanchan(horrifyingly scary), Ingtar’s salvation(“Shinowa and the Light!”  …this moment is still one of the most tear-inducing sequences in entire series – no one is so far gone that they cannot yet be redeemed…), the Heroes of the Horn, the Portal Stones, Lanfear’s grand entrance…alright, I’ll stop now since most of you have no idea what any of this means!!  Just know it was a brilliantly written book that almost never stopped for breath.  Love it.  Also sad since this one is the last book we get with relatively “normal” Rand.  Now his descent into madness begins…

And since I’m writing, might as well also share my encouragement at my latest readings.  Reading Psalm 77 & 78 and then further in Genesis this morning.  And I do so love Asaph’s psalms because he is so real and honest about his emotions and how he is feeling.  He didn’t always feel the presence of God – just as we don’t always – and sometimes he wondered if the goodness of God was even real.  “Will the Lord reject forever?  And will He never be favourable again?  Has His lovingkindness ceased forever?”  And on and on in this vein he goes.  And then he pulls himself together and resolves to remember the deeds of the Lord and ponder all the things that God has done in his life…and confidently declares that the way of the Lord is indeed holy.  Might we remember this in our dark moments when it seems as if God is not working at all.  Meditate on what God has done in your life in days past…and hold on to the truths of who God is.  God is faithful and loving and holy and good and sovereign and magnificent and glorious and He is God.  And in Psalm 78 we get the counter-example of the nation of Israel…even though they did eat the bread of angels and saw with their own eyes the glories of God, they still committed the most serious sin of unbelief.  They did not believe what God had said despite seeing His works with their own eyes.  Might we tremble as we think on the fact we have so often failed to believe in God in our own life.  Despite the fact that He loved us.  He loves us!  How can we yet fail and fall so many times.  But we do and although it is a terrible thing that we would doubt God…our Lord is loving and faithful to forgive us our sins, because He is our Father who loves us dearly.

And one further reminder of how it is good to be still and wait on God even though we oft don’t believe He is working.  Abram received the promise of God that He would have a son from his own seed.  And this is a grand promise and one that Abram did indeed believe – “He believed God and it was credited to him as righteousness.”  But later on…did Abram doubt?  I think he did.  Some time later, he still had no child.  And he must have thought – “Well, I suppose God wants me to take matters into my own hands?  Maybe I’m supposed to do something different.  I’m oh so tired of waiting.” Alright, I’m sure he didn’t put it exactly like that…but when his wife Sarai suggested that he have a child with the maid Hagar instead…Abram agreed.  What a terrible idea, right??  “Well, I can’t have a child with my wife…so I suppose I will have one with my wife’s maid instead.  That’s surely what God has in mind.”  And it is definitely a bad idea and there is much fallout from it yet God uses it as He uses all things.

But don’t we so often do the same thing?  We are tired of waiting for God.  And we think that if we just took matters into our own hands…then things would work out the way they were supposed to.  Right?  We rationalize an ill-founded decision because we think it will get us what we want.  We stop believing in God.  We start believing in ourselves.  I will forge my own destiny and I will obtain my heart’s desires.  Oh us of too little faith in God and too great of faith in ourselves. 

Think and ponder and meditate on the glorious nature of God and on what He has done in your life.  Be thankful and rejoice in the works of the Lord in you.  And although waiting is irksome and tiring at times, it is good to be still and wait on our Lord.  Rest in the knowledge of the most perfect love of Christ.  Forever and always.

The Grave Is No Bar To My Call

Last night the thunder rumbled deep and the lightnings frequently pulsed throughout the sky and although the rain did drop but softly, the night was not quiet.  And so despite the fact that it would have been glorious to have a good night’s sleep, I am sad to report that it was not so.  And thus I am most sleepy this morning.  But I still cannot complain, for the storm heralded the cold front which has now swept through and although 58 degrees isn’t particularly cold, I will take what I can get in April in Houston.  And today as I sleepily traversed the concrete river that is I10 into work, I pondered on the fact that back in Aberdeen days, I used to be able to commute with the countryside on my right side and the North Sea on my left…oh how I do miss the beauty of those days!  Alas it is not quite as pretty driving through the heart of Houston.  Yet this morning my heart was soothed with the music from the inimitable Seaspray and I reflected on the fact that my God assuredly has His hand upon me this day.  Now and forever.  And after I had a fun coffee chat with Jacqui over in my old building, I walked back over to my office and relished the chill air of the morning and gazed at the slowly lightening pre-dawn sky, blue striated with iron-grey clouds and holding the promise of far more than the eye can see.  Just as surely as in my Genesis reading today when Abram was told to go forth and he did and was promised many wonderful things…so I know my path is laid before me and my future is certainly beautiful.  Peace and love, my friends.  Now and forever. 

Scribblings

The scent of jasmine wafted through the open window.  He breathed deep.  Truly, this was a different place.  As he continued to climb the stairs, he looked out the window to his right and gasped.  The grey sky from down below was gone.  Now there was only blue sky as far as his eye could see, even to the horizon.  Below him green foliage waved cheerfully.  The tops of trees, he realized.  From above it was difficult to identify the types of trees, but they were large, that he knew.  Yet it seemed as if he looked out upon a carpet of living green tendrils, welcoming and inviting.

The sky glowed an even deeper blue.  The sun was nowhere to be seen and if he had to guess, it was surely not far past noon.  Yet the breeze floating through the window was cool and crisp and he breathed in the scent of jasmine once more.  He came to himself and found that he was standing still at the window, captured by the glories of the day, enraptured by the true found stories.  He had heard tell of this, but even now, he didn’t know how it was possible.  This was a dead world.  Or so he had been told.  Where did this life come from?  Was it a dimensional pocket extrusion or a fancy holographic illusion?  He doubted it.  Even the finest light tech couldn’t replicate such beauty as lay before him.  Maybe it was a different universe.  Indeed, he thought his own incapable of this.  Maybe in Old Earth.  Not here.  Not now.

And now he understood why some would come to pilgrimage here.  Now he knew why some would come to live a half-remembered dream.  Even if he didn’t truly understand where or how or why he was, he did not doubt that he was.  He breathed in deep.  Again the jasmine.  Again the light of the heavens startled him with its brilliance.  Surely it was not possible for something to be so blue.

He supposed he should keep climbing.  He had been standing at the window for what could have been either hours or days.  He knew not.  With a sigh, he turned and stepped upwards.  He knew he dare not linger, even though he felt as if he may never see such a glorious sight with his own eyes again.

As he continued up the stairs, it seemed that the staircase started to spiral in a tighter circle, that possibly the stairs began to narrow.  He wasn’t sure, so gradual was the change.  The deep mahogany of the handrail felt warm beneath the skin of his hand as he ascended.  His legs now seemed incapable of stopping.  Upward and onward.

Every few steps he would pass another window of blue radiance and he would smell jasmine and honeysuckle and he would feel the wind caress his cheek.  Yet he did not stop for he knew that what he sought was nigh.  What he sought!  But he sought for nothing, that’s what he had told the old man down below, so long ago now.  The old man in his violently violet robes, welcoming him in a voice that had seemed overly pretentious and full of joy at the time.  Now the man wondered.  Was everything coming true?

He wasn’t a pilgrim, he had told the old man.  Pilgrims are fools, blinded by the whispered glories of a dead past.  Why was he here?  Well, it was simple – he had superiors who had superiors who in a most superior fashion had declaimed desires of revealing what lay beneath the pernicious rumours.  And he was the least threatening of his kind, so of course he would be the one sent.  To discover and learn and seek the truth.  To expose, as he thought of it.  To rip the curtain back from the hallowed temple of the weak-minded.

And so he had entered the squat building earlier this morning (week?  Month?  Year?) and despite the cheap ceramic-overlaid interior décor, he had smiled as he heard strains of Rachmaninoff’s 2nd faintly echoing, as if from a far-off room.  And then the old man had ruined everything with his ridiculous grand entrance and pretentious posturing and vain attempts to justify the existence of the Tower.

Despite the old man’s pleas, he had ignored all the scribblings and carvings.  He had seen the same such artifacts countless times before.  Forward to the main attraction, forward to the staircase.  At least he knew of the staircase now, after his…encounter of the night before.  Gooseflesh rose.  He would not recall those memories.

But now he climbed.  And at the bottom he was a man who believed nothing and ventured everything because what was there to lose?  Now as his hand gripped the rail tightly, he shuddered.  Did he believe?  Could he believe?

 A doorway loomed ahead.  There were no more stairs.  The door was small, barely taller than his own height.  It was of oaken appearance, inlaid with finely wrought metallic elements.  Light glowed and pulsed amongst the metal engravings.  Warming, welcoming light.  His hand left the railing and he grasped at the doorknob.  It was cool and smooth under his touch, and it seemed to melt into his hand as if his hand was the only key that could unlock the door.

He shuddered again.  In fear?  In bliss?  He did not know.  What had they done to him?

What were they doing to him?

He could not resist any longer.

He ever so slightly turned the doorknob.

And the door swung open.

Passion

So…baseball Opening Day was yesterday.  Sadly – I did not go to any baseball games, but surprisingly(and probably for the last time this year), all three of my teams won!  Rays had a comeback victory over Boston, Baltimore took out the Twins in the 11th with an Adam Jones homer…and the Astros just plain dominated with Verlander pitching like the Hall of Famer he is.  So I am happy.  Yay baseball!  Spring is now officially here.

But…far more importantly…today is what is commonly called Good Friday, despite the fact that the event it commemorates is horrifyingly brutal in the extreme.  The day man decided (once again!) that they knew better than God.  The day humanity decided (once again!) that they were better off without God.  The day we killed God.

And as shocking as that turn of events was…in the end it truly was a Good day.  For it was the day that God sacrificed Himself.  For us.  For all of us who put our faith in Jesus.  For all of us who give up our lives in submission to the only true God.  For all of us who bow the knee to the One who saves.

In honour of the events of today, I much enjoyed reading Philippians this morning…many many verses kept striking me with their brilliant truths, but I shall only quote a few of my favourites this day.  Despite the filth and lies we are surrounded by…remember:

But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ.
More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ
Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish
so that I may gain Christ,
and may be found in Him,
not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through
faith in Christ,
the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith,
that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings,
being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.

and…

For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Saviour,
the Lord Jesus Christ;
who will transform the body of our humble state into conformity with the
body of His glory, by the exertion of the power that He has even to subject
all things to Himself.

-Philippians 3:7-11,20-21

Let us remember these things.  Let us pause this day in the midst of our frantic lives and ponder and meditate on the One who did not consider equality with God a thing to be grasped – even though He is God – but instead emptied Himself and became a Man and lived and died and rose again.  For us.

Amazing love, how can it be – that Thou my God shouldst die for me!?!

Be a Man

Hello friends!  A quick entry today as I sip my peppermint mocha.  It must be very quick, as soon work is to start and I must catch up on my myriads of emails that have piled up here in my one(!!) day off.  I had a very good reason for that day off though…as I was up in Omaha this past weekend for cousin Brittany’s wedding!!  It was an utterly delightful affair which I shall not even attempt to fully describe.  But the whole weekend truly was marvelous.  Good times with family dear.  Fun chats and catching up with so many of the relatives!  And the wedding of Brittany and Dallon…oh how I love weddings – and witnessing them making their marriage vows to each other was truly special.  Oh how I pray that our God blesses their marriage and brings them closer to each other as they seek to glorify God in all things.  And of course the party afterwards was fantastic…so much dancing.  So much!!  And so I was quite tired at the end of the night and so when we all(me, Maryanne, Laura, Caisson, Mom, Dad) took a picture at our hotel at end of night…definitely can spot the weariness!  But hopefully also the joy was abundantly manifest.

And..I can’t write much more, but one more note – the conversations that were had with family members dear…oh so glorious and encouraging.  God is good in granting me these few precious days with them in Omaha.  I am ever grateful for my family.  Always.

A Little Slice of Sunshine

Hello friends…and happy Friday!!  I’m dashing off a quick entry before I dive back into work.  Had a lovely lunchtime break…walking to my favourite little Vietnamese place and enjoying my standard curry.  A beautifully relaxing time just eating and texting various folks and enjoying the goodness of the Lord.  And this evening has the potential to be just as wonderful.  No big plans, hence I’m thinking I’ll have burritos for dinner, watch a little basketball, drink a little tea…and very possibly read some John Owen, which I’m excited to report I have now resumed reading!  This morning much enjoyed my reading of him expound on the Holy Spirit and His work in the church in the New Testament.  Oh what a wonder it is to think on the fact that the Spirit of God is within us!!!  Remember this, and rejoice.  So yes – that’s my tentative plan for the night and I am much looking forward to this.  A book upon the lap and a mug of tea in the hand.  Very proper indeed.

Now I shall be off.  Peace, my friends.  Peace and love.

Ashes

And another Tuesday rears its head.  I have a few minutes in which to write, so write I shall!  This morning a tragedy befell me.  After a long and happy life, my cafetiere(or french press, if you want to use the coarse wording…) finally died the final death.  The crack that has been worrying it for some time finally finished propogating all the way around the glass and so when I began to try and pour my coffee into the mug…let’s just say quite a bit of coffee went in a direction other than the mug as well.  But this cafetiere has had a long and full life since I bought it in…2011 I think?  I still remember being shamed by Pastor Dominic back then when he found out I drank instant coffee!!  A rough paraphrase of his words, “James – my estimation of you has somewhat lowered hearing that.”  Thereupon I immediately went to John Lewis and bought this gorgeous little cafetiere and indeed it has served me well.  Now…I’ve written far too many words memorializing this coffee-making device and so I shall end with the happy news that because I am silly, I actually bought a back-up cafetiere from JL when I was in Aberdeen back a year and a half ago now.  So…now I’m excited to put that one into service!  May it last seven years as well.

And I suppose I should also log my latest read, which again – should not surprise you if you’ve been following my chronicles:

9.  The Life and Diary of David Brainerd edited by Jonathan Edwards.  Yesterday as the weather was still somewhat nice( Houston is heating up drastically though and I am sad!), I walked down to EQ and finished up this book on the porch, basking in the sunlight and the gentle breeze.  But better than those external factors…finishing up this book chronicling the life of a man who loved God and longed for His glory.  Oh how I wish I could make every one of you read this, but truly – what a wonderfully convicting and heartening work.  I looked it up on amazon just now and the version I read is only $13.58 and it is worth every cent.  So…buy it please.  And read.  I don’t remember this book affecting me quite as much the last time I read this, but I suppose I am in a different place now(emotionally, spiritually, geographically, whatev – ) and thus I should not be surprised at the change.  But I can now say with confidence this is surely in the top three of my all-time favourite biographical/autobiographical works.  I am a history nerd, I know…so partly the reason I love it so is the window into 18th century American Christianity, of course.  And I am a theological nerd(surprised?) and so reading the doctrinal thoughts and convictions of Brainerd(along with the notes by J. Edwards!  Brainerd actually died in the home of Edwards, so Edwards has quite a few first-hand comments regarding Brainerd and his circumstances) is supremely fascinating.  But…the reason I love this book the most is because it is a glimpse into the mind and heart of a man who loved God passionately and desparately.  And this book is the story of a man who poured himself out to the utmost, even to death.  All for the glory of God.  And so my heart cries for similar passion and love.  May I live such.  I am nowhere close.  But may I strive and may I cry.  If only I could live in such a humble, broken manner.  All for the love of my God.