Fountains Keep Nothing for Themselves

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Last night, even though I *should* have been going to bed and getting a good night’s sleep…I was silly and insisted on finishing my book instead:

12.  Cordelia’s Honor by Lois McMaster Bujold.  Technically I could probably count this as two books – Shards of Honor and Barrayar, but I have the omnibus edition and both individual books are rather short and I did only read it in four days so…I think I will only count it as one.  Anyways!  This book was magnificent.  I’ve always heard good things about Bujold and even tried reading one of her books back in my Aberdeen days – Cryoburn.  For some reason, I struggled with that book and didn’t really enjoy it?  I even remember being bored by it, for some reason.  Hm.  Maybe it was not the best of hers to start with.  Anyway – this book – Cordelia’s Honor – was absolutely magnificent.  I’ve read some reviews online stating that the first book(Shards of Honor) is not very well written and must be suffered through to get to the good stuff…I absolutely disagree as I simply loved all of it.  It may be that the terse and slightly clunky prose reminds me of my classic golden age sci-fi favorites, but nonetheless, so many fantastic moments throughout.  And I realize I am not explaining why I like this at all.  Well, it’s a grand sci-fi adventure with amazingly real characters in a fascinatingly drawn universe.  Cordelia is magnificent and she is my favourite and I simply need to read more about her!  And Aral Vorkosagin isn’t so bad himself, a warrior, a man of integrity and a man of deep-felt love.  And the story of them meeting each other on a random newly discovered planet amidst confusion and conflict and their growing admiration and then love for each other…wonderful.  There are some harrowing moments in this book too – it is most certainly not for the faint of heart.  But the moments of hair-raising terror were made up for by the sheer wonder of discovering a new world and new favorite characters…and the high political(and martial!) drama was beautifully portrayed.  And while some books can glorify or make war seem grand and desirable(especially pulp sci-fi!), this one most certainly does not.  The stupidity and ironic valour of war are highlighted…and individuals are prized.  Even the low and insignificant, the feeble and disabled…all are worthy of life and honor.  I was most impressed by the the themes in this book.  And once again – Cordelia is just plain awesome.  An epic moment near the end of the book left me grinning and slightly open-mouthed in awe.  I shan’t spoil it here, but let’s just say it involves Cordelia on a shopping trip to the capital…and it has a most satisfying denouement.  (this book would make a great movie by the way – why has it not been done!?!)  One more thing – often times science fiction books are all about the action and fancy new tech and exotic worlds, etc, etc and the characters are given rather short shrift.  Other books are marvelous character studies, but the book’s setting and plot is just a bit blah.  This book was a most lovely blend of my very favorite sci-fi elements with delightfully raw and relatable characters living their lives.  Well done, Bujold, well done, indeed.  Next book – omnibus Young Miles – has already been ordered.  One last thing – would I recommend this unreservedly?  Probably not, because it does have a few very scary moments that are not for the faint of heart, and while not overly graphic, is also probably not for the squeamish either.  As you can tell though…I loved it and glad I finally have discovered why Bujold is so strongly praised.  One last thing – this book did indeed have some perfectly beautiful lines in it.  While a lot of the prose is merely…serviceable, there are a couple lines that made me near weep for their beauty.  And that is not a bad thing.

That was a very long review.  Sorry?  Guess you can tell I enjoyed the book!  Now…time to sip on my coffee and begin work this day.  Peace and love.

Amaranth

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Did I mean to write something more creative and fun this morning?  Yes.  Did I get distracted reading about the Rockets’ win yesterday to put them up 3-1 on the Jazz and the Lightning’s series win over the Bruins?  Also yes.  Ah well – I cannot complain as I have a peppermint mocha in front of me and a three day week before me.  Want to share some of my very favourite words that I happened to read today…thus always my heart:

I cried to you; save me and I shall keep Your testimonies.
I rise before dawn and cry for help;
I wait for Your words.
My eyes anticipate the night watches,
that I may meditate on Your word.
Hear my voice according to Your lovingkindness;
revive me, O Lord, according to Your ordinances.

-Psalm 119:147-149

Shards of Honor

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Good afternoon friends!!  It is a most fine Sunday afternoon here.  And I have not long to write, as soon I will be off to Julien and Kelsey’s for a fine roast dinner.  Most looking forward to that, as delightful conversation and encouraging times await.  But for now, I can only sit and thank the Lord for the beautiful day He has granted me.  A wonderful morning at church with my dear brothers and sisters.  A relaxing few hours at home in which to eat lunch and do other various domestic chores.  And then…a lovely walk down to EQ and a few hours on the porch there, soaking up the sunlight and reading a lovely book.  Oh what a gift was granted me by my Lord, that few hours of reading in the glorious sunshine.  Few things are better than that.  But…one of those things better came soon after…as I walked home, called home and talked to mom and dad…enjoying sweet chat with them…of Lightning victorious and other sundry things.  Again.  Few things are bettter than that.

And now…I really don’t think I can say much else without resorting to poetic anthem, and I feel it is not time for that this day.  Some other day, perhaps.  For now, I will sign off and think of the gratitude and love that fills my heart this day.  I still feel the touch of the sun on my skin and the touch of that song on my soul.

Peace and love, one and all.

Wishmaster

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So finished another book last night.  Read:

11.  The Dragon Reborn by Robert Jordan.  I’m not going to overly detail my thoughts on this book, other than it’s another fantastic Wheel of Time book…full of high drama and delicious fantastical elements.  This is the book where Rand is barely ever in it, but he does show up at the end in time to defeat Ishamael and claim the Stone of Tear, prompting both Aiel and Defenders of the Stone alike to shout out in acclamation.  And this book also contains the beginnings of Mat being awesome…as well as Perrin meeting Faile.  For somer reason, the more I read these books, the more I like reading Perrin & Faile’s story…and this is where Perrin first discovers his falcon and their love story is beautiful, as messy as it later becomes!  In this book it ends with her wiping his blood off his face, the blood he shed to save her life.  Romantic to the core.  Now I apologize – for any of you who have not read this book, it sounds most confusing…and trust me, even reading it can sometimes be confusing.  But wonderful all the same.

What else shall I discuss today?  I suppose I could mention that myself and John are planning to go see newest Avengers movie – Infinity War – later tonight.  It should be epic, as it has approximately 23 superheroes in it.  And…I believe that’s not that much of an exxageration.  Excited for that!!

Also been for some reason in a Nightwish mood lately…listening to it both at work and in my drives to and from.  I forgot how much I love them and just how gorgeous their music is!!  And thankfully, I have Laura who I can call and we can go into great detail discussing our fav albums and singers (obviously Tarja is amazing….but I do like both Annette and Floor in their own way, as well!!)  Been remembering the times I saw them live(first with Jackie, second with Laura!) and it has renewed my desire to one day soon chronicle my all-time favorite concert experiences, of which surely Nightwish show will be near the top.

Now it is about time for me to take my leave, but firstly (note, I should really probably leave off that last stanza…but can’t help it – love it even though poem would probably be better ending stanza sooner…)…

The morning warm and dark breaks
like the darkened sea upon the shattered shore,
and though I think there is no beauty left to find,
and no more dawn song tripping through my mind,
I turn the key and turn my head and turn and see
her entering,
and the gate swings open, open
and the streetlamps’ light descends upon her
faintly.

Faintly yes
but enough for me
to see

Chocolate curls cascading,
Snow white dress shimmering,
Her eyes liquidly
Dark and full of magic,

and though I approach but softly
her lips quirk up in sheepish smile,
our eyes brush past each other
and touch oh so gently
and lips murmur
courteous nothings
in the wind.

And lo her eyes smile and dip and dance away
and so I bow and take my leave
and so
and so
the dawn song breaks upon my heart once more
as the foamy sea cast its waves
upon that golden shore.

Century Child

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…and once again we come to Monday, the pauper of days.  But as I rolled on to work this morning, it was heartening to see the brilliant full moon shine bright o’erhead, before she finally decided to veil her face.  Even then, the light broke through the clouds effortlessly, beautifully.  And so my week begins, with a note of wonder, song of grace.

And briefly…much enjoyed my reading this morning.  I would like to share a few of my favourite verses – firstly from Exodus:

Now it came about in the course of those many days that the king of Egypt died.
And the sons of Israel sighed because of the bondage, and they cried out;
and their cry for help because of their bondage rose up to God.
So God heard their groaning;
and God remembered His covenant with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.
God saw the sons of Israel,
and God took notice of them.
-Exodus 2:23-25

Is that not beautiful?  I cannot quite state that anything I’m going through is anywhere near the level of bondage that the children of Israel were in.  But it is oh so encouraging to my heart to see how God responds to the sighs and cries of His people.  God hears, God remembers, God sees, God takes notice.  We may think that God is ignoring us, not promptly answering our pleas and our cries.  I mean – seriously, the children of Israel are in bondage for near on four hundred years!!  That is not an insignificant length of time – why does God not act sooner?  I know not.  And sometimes whatever we are suffering through will seem like it is never ending…yet…we need not let our hearts be troubled.  Because God does remember His promises to us and He surely does see our plight and hear our cries.  And God will surely take notice and stretch out His mighty hand on our behalf.  Not in our time, perhaps.  But God’s time is sweeter still.  Let us remember that and let our hearts’ cries never cease to be raised to the God who hears.

And secondly from the magnificent book of John…

Now before the Feast of the Passover, Jesus knowing that His hour had come that He would depart out of this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world,
He loved them to the end.
-John 13:1

…and is that not truly beautiful as well?  Jesus knew His time was short.  He knew His time was at hand.  And He whose love is incomprehensible did truly love His disciples deeply.  And did His love for them wane as His hour of trial approached?  Oh most certainly not – Jesus loved His disciples to the end.  He loved them infinitely.  He loved them completely and perfectly, as only the Son of God can.  And to manifest His love to them…he got up from the dinner table and washed His followers’ dirty feet.  A shocking display of love, acting not as their Teacher and Lord(which He was!), but as their Servant.  And so this Servant who was about to suffer greatly did kneel before His disciples and love them greatly.  I can imagine them being so shocked that silence fell around the table.  I don’t know that for certain, but I imagine it to be so.  And then when He comes to Peter…Peter responds as only Peter can – “Never shall You wash my feet!”  But when Jesus responds that Peter shall have no part of Him if He is not washed by Christ…then Peter again responds as only Peter can – “…then wash me completely, feet, head, hands all!”  Jesus gently reminds Him that he who has bathed need only wash his feet and truly, “…you are clean.”  What a joy to hear that from Jesus.  You are clean!  Oh joyous thought – we that are redeemed by the blood of Christ are truly clean.  Forever.  And we can read about this moment where Jesus acted so sacrificially for His followers…so also ought we to lay aside our pride and love one another.  If Jesus could serve His disciples in such a way…how could we not long to serve each our brothers and sisters daily, always.  What joy would fill our hearts to act as our Saviour??  What joy does fill our hearts to know our Lord!!

And one last verse to close…truly lovely words:

“In that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in Me, and I in you.
He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me;
and he who loves Me
will be loved by My Father,
and I will love Him
and will disclose Myself to him.”
-Jesus Christ, John 14:20-21

We of whose those words are true…Jesus reveals Himself to us in pure love.  What awe and wonder!  We are loved by God the Father.  We are loved by God the Son.  We abide in Christ and Christ abides in us.  The Holy Spirit of God dwells in us.  We are loved by God.  We truly know God as He reveals Himself to us.  We are truly known by God.  We are loved.  This, my friends, is why we can be full of grace and full of peace.  Forever and always.

Hard Love

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Good morning, friends!! And…happy Friday!!! For indeed, it is finally Friday here, and although I am quite tired(it’s been a long week!), I’m psyched for a glorious day ahead. Sipping on my (still slightly warm) peppermint mocha now and enjoying that – was fun seeing and chatting briefly with Tony & Chi at Starbucks today! I still miss Katie, but I suppose I may(at some point possibly?) see her again – she is now finishing up her first semester of nursing school yay! Anyways – enough Starbucks people updates! Today shall be a good day, that I declare. I’ve been thinking lately about how easily I get distracted and fret over either things I don’t control or things that don’t really matter. And really how…at the end of the day, I need to rest in the sovereignty and love of Christ Jesus my Lord and rejoice and enjoy the beauty all around me, courtesy of my God. True? May I remember that much more than I usually do. Peace, my friends. Peace and love.

And Further On Sound the Horns of the Embittered Knights

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Briefly!  I was very happy I finally got proper reading time this morning.  Obviously it is not a good idea to take paper-based materials on a canoeing trip – thus I didn’t have my Bible with me the whole weekend.  And then yesterday I somehow slept through my alarm so got no reading time.  Finally, finally – today I was able to make a nice cup of coffee and read for at least a few minutes!

And while I shall not now retell all my readings, thought I’d share one line that struck me as I was reading further about the life of Joseph – “Now Joseph was thirty years old when he stood before Pharoah, king of Egypt.”  The reason this struck me is patently obvious, I think – for just as Joseph was thirty years old then, so I am thirty years old now.  So it is natural for me to compare myself to him and ponder and measure myself thus.  But for a moment – think about Joseph.  Think about his life up to this point and the difficulties and pain he had suffered.  Sold to slavers by his own brothers at a young age.  Working as a slave to an Egyptian official and even making something of himself there…when it all unraveled again and he was falsely accused and imprisoned.  Years in prison.  Then when he thought he had made a connection with a man who could get him out…that man forgot him.  For two years.  And so his life had been one of slavery and bondage for years…and years…and years.  But – had he used that time to grow resentful and bitter and wrathful?  Had he let his spirit shrivel away as he abandoned hope in the God whose man he was?  No.  He continued to trust in God.  His faith surely wavered and flickered at times.  But his spirit was further forged through the fires of affliction and his eyes fixed themselves upon the God who knew his name.  For when he was asked from where his talent for dream-speaking came, he claimed no portion of the credit.  He humbly acknowledged the God who made all things.  And so at the age of thirty, he stood before the king of Egypt, prepared for a greater work, humble yet confident in the power of His God.

And this is where I can very briefly glance at my own life – knowing not what lies before me, I can confidently assert that God has continued to work in me these past thirty years of my life, shaping and molding my spirit, refining my soul through fire.  I know not what lies ahead, no.  But God grant me the grace to stand prepared to do His work, whatever that may be.  I may not stand before kings, but may my life be fit for such.  These past years of my life haven’t necessarily been full of bondage and harsh suffering, but they haven’t all been easy either.  And that is not a bad thing – for through such fires are humility and holiness forged.  Why do I stand in readiness now?  Because of the God whose man I am.  Why do I stand in confidence now?  Because of the God who knows my name.

The Buffalo

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So…a few(for reals!) words as I sit sleepily here on a slowly lightening Monday morn…

I had a delightfully adventerous and exhausting weekend up in Arkansas with John, Jared, Peter, Chase and others on a camping and canoeing trip…and while I wish I could say it was all beautiful(trust me when I say there were plenty of beautiful moments!!), it also had moments of cold and wet and somewhat miserable sensations…I think I felt like I relate to Sam Gamgee quite a bit…adventures are wonderful when you’re reading about them, but as you go through them, you realize there’s quite a few unpleasant and painful bits!!  But the moments of briskly kayaking down the Buffalo River, cliffs towering on one side, proud trees on the other and gorgeous blue water ahead were what made it all worth it…the solitude and sound of rushing water and the sunshine resting on my head…all of this was beautiful and much loved by me.  And so I could sing a few refrains from favourite songs and thank the Lord who made it all so. 

But now as I am sore and tired and yet have a full week of work ahead of me…I suppose I shall take those sweet memories of beauty and peace and hold them dear and then proceed about my business.  It shall be a good week, though I know not what comes.

Peace and love, one and all.

Moor Street

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The fog is not quite lifting
though the night has been dancing
far too long
and although the
sky is darkly misting
and the cold breeze makes me
shiver, shiver,
I can smile
and be ok
and pull my wool coat snug around my neck.

For yeah, the fog’s still drifting
and yeah the night’s trance
is coming on a little strong,
but my feet do a little dance upon the pavement
in the streetlamps’ orangish light
and my eyes burn with
truer song
and starlit dreams
even through the bitter night.

The Last Hurrah

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So I was going to write a much longer post (and maybe even a poem!) but alas (not really) I actually talked to Dad on phone instead, which was very worth it!  And so now my minutes to write are few.  But quickly…

It is still wonderfully cold here – sub-50s temperature when I walked out to my car this morning!!  One last time I shall say – long may it continue!!  Even though…I know that no, it most certainly will not continue long.  But I shall enjoy it much.  Oh shall I enjoy it!  Yesterday was sublime.  After church and various errands, came home and quickly made and ate lunch(chicken & curry-spiced cauliflower & red peppers!) then fled to the glorious outdoors.  Walked down White Oak enjoying the strains of live music that were being played at every other bar and restaurant…then went to Red for a quick espresso (because why not, yeah?) then got to talk to Maryanne for a bit to wish her happy birthday as she is now 27 years old, what!!!  Happy happy birthday, Maryanne, dearest sister!!!  Then I realised I’d missed a call from Daniel…so once I walked down to EQ and settled in my usual spot on the porch, called him back and we had a beautiful time chatting.  Oh how I miss him.  But it was a great talk and I must remind myself to pray for him more, that God continues to bless him and grant him peace in all things.  After that…well, no more phone chatting, so I instead settled in my chair on the porch and soaked in the sunshine.  Brilliant blue sky.  Scents of springtime abounded.  And as I read my book (The Dragon Reborn, of course) and enjoyed the sounds of people talking all around me…I could not help but lift my eyes to the heavens and thank God for all that He has made.  Glory hallelujah.

That was yesterday and it was beautiful.  Briefly before I fly – must also mention how great Saturday night was!  Earnie and Mandy had both finally taken their PE exam on Friday and they were deliriously happy at being done with that!  Earnie feels most confident, Mandy slightly less so but I am still sure they both passed.  Anyways – since they finally now have time to have a social life again, I had them over for dinner.  I made burritos and avocado/tomato salad and we ate and talked and laughed…and many many hours later we realised it was almost 12:30 in the morning and probably a good time to part since church was indeed coming up the next (same!) day.  I just want to say though – their friendship is oh so precious to me and I am very grateful for them and the encouragement they are to me.  It even made me happy that I got to lend them a couple of my books – Revival and Revivalism by Murray and a Douglas MacArthur biography.  I love lending books to friends – it gladdens my heart!

Right.  I have now written far more than I thought I would, but I’m glad I could chronicle this wonderful past weekend.  Now, my friends, farewell.  Peace and love.