Before the Throne

Hello friends! This glorious Friday evening, let me pen just a few words on my latest read. Then laptop shall be closed and looked at no more and it shall be time for reading and communion and joy as I rest this night.

68. Why Christianity Makes Sense by Gavin Ortlund. A fantastic book. I believe I’ve heard this book presented as analogous to Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis. Perhaps not quite aiming at those heights, but identical in purpose. Presenting Christianity to a skeptical world and giving reasons that may cause one to tilt the head and consider. Why not Christ? Why not Christianity? Is it true? Is it good? I confess as I write these few words that I’m a bit biased coming into this. I greatly appreciate Ortlund’s ministry (both written and on the screen!) and I had no doubts I would be encouraged by this read. And so it turned out to be. I am not quite sure I’m the target audience, as I have no need of persuasion in regards to the claims of Christianity, but nonetheless this book warmed my soul.

I too have an ache in my heart, a longing for that far country. Ortlund identifies this ache itself as a testimony to the truth that this material world is not all there is. I won’t dare summarize this entire book as I fear it would be too unwieldy and not do the book justice, but I will say I heartily enjoyed it all. The middle section of this book – on Jesus Christ and the beauty intertwined with the historical reality that is God made man – was by far my favourite part. Just reading about Jesus and why it is indeed so reasonable to consider him the very answer the universe strains to grasp was indeed rich food for my weary soul. I am grateful for this book. Again, I feel this book is written to people that may be seeking – and perhaps it will be of use for those who cry as they wonder what is beyond the veil. I hope and pray that this book is one that is as impactful to this generation as Mere Christianity was to its own. I have considered Jesus and found him to be that for which my soul longs. I hear the gulls call and look out across the waters and my heart skips a beat as I see the first glimmering star near the horizon. There is beauty that pricks my heart near to bursting and I sigh for wonder that I have found my answer in Jesus. Maybe you will consider him too.

Leaves on the River

It is good to be near God. A few minutes past six and it is still dark outside yet I know the dawn approaches. I wish I had more time to write all the thoughts of my heart yet perhaps it is best they stay with me? It is not always the wisest course to spin out one’s innermost cries for all the world to hear! Sometimes, perhaps. But not always. This is partly why I love writing in poetry and veiled prose. The tears of my heart drip onto the page yet the scribblings legible only to myself. And now I do let my words wander. At times I wonder what the turning of the day shall bring. Yet I know even as I anticipate the line of storm clouds approaching from yonder horizon that what drives them onwards is the fresh wind of autumn. How my heart sings. Soon my feet shall tramp these city streets and my heels shall echo the song of fall. The wind will be cold around my neck and the air crisp and clear in stunned realization that summer has bowed prettily and given up the ghost at last. It is time, my friends. It is past time. A leaf or two descends from the trees above me. I anticipate now. The branches shall be bare again and whisper sentimental musings in my ear. I cannot express the longings in my heart or the fears that sometimes rise. Yet I know that I belong to one who knows my heart better than I myself. My heart aches for longing fulfilled. The pale grey of the sky brightens.

Stamped, Sealed, Delivery Yet to Come

A few book thoughts this Sunday evening before I dive back into my current. Hope you all are well, my dear friends.

66. God in the Dock by C.S. Lewis. As always with Lewis, an extremely profitable read. This is most likely a lesser known work of Lewis’, comprised as it is of various short essays and articles he wrote throughout his life. Definitely worth the read!! No, I don’t always agree with everything Lewis writes, but he always makes me think. I continually find myself amazed how well he can construct a sentence to drive a point home. I also confess myself a bit jealous as well at the incisiveness of his writing. The articles in this one are about various subjects, ranging from the theological to the moral (though I daresay one could say all topics end up in theological waters by the end), and though there were some topics I found more interesting, I didn’t skip anything here. The one titled “The Grand Miracle” was phenomenal and the essay “On the Reading of Old Books” was simply sublime. Worth reading this entire collection for that essay alone. I love reading Lewis and this collection of essays of his is well worth the read. Strongly recommended.

67. The Fires of December by Brandon Sanderson. Sanderson’s latest “Secret Project” novel. I enjoyed this one but it didn’t thrill me either. Firstly, the artwork was gorgeous. This book is so well constructed and all the art is simply beautiful. This is a book that will look amazing on your shelf. But mere fripperies. What about the content? It was fine? I found myself really enjoying the first part of this book, where Sanderson adopts an almost old-fashioned style, grand and whimsical all at the same time. I loved this. Soon enough, Sanderson slips into his standard narration style and well…I found myself growing ever more disengaged as I read. Perhaps it’s just my continuing disenchantment with Sanderson’s works, but this book was just ok for me. I did find myself amused at the end when Sanderson mentions at the end that the different styles in this one was a contentious topic amongst the early readers and that his switch was deliberate. Understandable. Still though, I wish he had done otherwise. This one is good, but not great.

Endurance

Hello friends! Thought I’d write a little post before I pick up my book and transition into reading time. I’m now at home and though I did enjoy my time at coffeeshop, it’s so nice now just to be home and relax on the couch with dinner in the oven. The chicken, potatoes, carrots & onions are roasting and I am most excited for the point about an hour and some minutes from now when it’s done and I can fill my plate. Ah simple pleasures. Though I was going to play some of my still-in-progress next classical playlist, I couldn’t resist turning on the TV and putting the baseball on instead. Cleveland vs. White Sox Game 5, winner shall advance to face the Rays in the ALCS! I do love playoff baseball and I love having a game on while I read. A baseball game is just sedate enough that I can have it on and still focus on my book. I’m excited by this one – just started it last night. It’s a book by Gavin Ortlund called “Why Christianity Makes Sense” and while he doesn’t have to convince me, I’m already finding my heart encouraged as he talks about the truths of Christianity and the beauty found therein. Speaking of. I think this post has rambled on enough and it is time for it to end. Much love to you all. Rest in our Lord this night. Peace and love.

Projecting

look my friend tonight isn’t for the faint
of heart
can’t you see the traffic lights wearily squinting
through the fog
what shall I say to you now when I just want to
see some beauty
but all around is just the aftereffects
of a wasted life
the alley is open if you want to walk down it
Or not whatever
your call
i would urge you not to look down now though
the river runs red tonight

Leave Falling All Around Now

Hello friends! A Saturday afternoon post from the coffeeshop! I have very sadly used most of my coffeeshop time here looking through old pictures and not writing at all, even though that was my express purpose for walking here. Alas. But now I’m not sure if I really feel like writing anything at all, as sad as that sounds. So…maybe I’ll just ramble on about my day and maybe some inspiration will come?

It’s been a good day, I suppose. A busy one. Early morning discipleship group then back home for a few hours. Dani and Joy are off at the beach now, so I decided I must be productive with the time alone so what did I do? Well, some errands, grocery shopping, etc. Figured I’d make a roast chicken for dinner tonight, as it’s not Dani’s favourite and since she isn’t here well…I can have it all to myself! A nice roast chicken with potatoes, carrots and onions. Can a dinner get much better? I submit that it cannot. Anyways, got the goods to make that, then came back home and did some housecleaning chores. Decided after that while I could just sit at home and attempt to write, why not walk on down to coffeeshop and attempt some writing there? Well, a valiant idea, to be sure. Alas, I got down here and ended up going through old pictures with the idea of printing out some of my favs from the last few years. It was a good exercise though as one can guess, looking at old pictures sure does stir up the memories, hm? Looking at pictures from 2021-2024…what a stretch. It made me sad in some spots and then ever so happy in others, as is…expected, I suppose? I shan’t talk more about that now.

What now? Well my coffee is cold and I really should go home and get dinner started sometime soon. But I am a bit sad I didn’t write anything creative. At least I got this little update post written? That’s something. That’s something. Be well, dear friends. Peace and love.

Greenway

Hello friends! A quick post before I continue with my evening and (most likely) shut this laptop. I’ve written a little something on creating and the mediums used in such (see post below) and it’s in my typical stream-of-consciousness style, random with perhaps a nugget of truth here and there. Sometimes perhaps I need to learn to write more concisely. As I read my current book with essays by C.S. Lewis, I take a step back and admire how he so brilliantly communicates profound truths. I am, I must confess, a bit jealous of his skills in such communication. Anyway! That was a fun bit of writing to accomplish, but now I feel that dinner making must take place. Tonight is classic sausage pasta, hurrah! It will take a bit of time to cook the sausage, carrots, onions, etc, of course. But the best part? Once the tomatoes and milk is poured in and everything is slowly bubbling away, I have a good hour or so to sit back down here in my corner chair and read. I’ll light a candle of course as well and then sigh for pleasure that I have the time to let my mind linger on the words on the page in front of me. I think I’ll knock out the C.S. Lewis book and then perhaps read either more of my Bonhoeffer book or the (admittedly lesser in quality and content) Sanderson that is my current. So that’s the plan for the evening. Grateful for this night of rest that is given me. Peace and love, dear friends.

She Waits

Sometimes it’s comforting to write words and know that they will never be read by another soul. I have a little notebook that from time to time I write in and the act of writing itself is dear to me. I may never read those words again and almost certainly no one else will page through my stash of notebooks to read the mad scribblings that I’ve penned throughout the years. Yet in the moment, the act of putting pen to page is cathartic. Is it not? Do you know this too? I know I can be old-fashioned at times and I don’t mean this to sound pretentious as I proclaim that to write something by hand is oh so much more meaningful than letting my fingers dance across the keyboard as I do now. Writing is writing except when it’s not – yes I mean that pernicious advance of the use of AI – and to raise one medium over another isn’t exactly what I mean to do here. Most of my creative writing these days is done on a keyboard, it is true! Yet still. We do as humans have physical bodies that interact physically with the world around us. So to push a pen a little deeper into the blank paper before me is to walk a path that is well trod and indeed feels good upon the feet. But is not using a laptop – or typewriter or even speech to text! – also interacting with a substance that is created and is part of this physical realm? Yes a computer or typewriter is also a created thing, much as a well bound notebook and a comfortable pen. Is there a difference? Maybe it is only in the mind. But for me, there is something soothing in the act of pushing a pen across the page. For me, writing is analogous to cooking – it brings me joy to stir a pot of something yummy bubbling on the stove. These two hands are moving in joyous harmony to create something that is good. Hm, I am talking myself around again. For when I use these two hands pressing keys upon this keyboard to write something from my heart and soul, am I still not creating something even then? Is this not a creative act just now? A communication from the mind to the wide world around, even if I am the only one who reads these words. And as from my heart fully-grown springs a theme on creative work, I am grateful that I can use this created frame to craft something beautiful. Even now, from this faint image that shines with reflected divinity, I look upon the page and feel a leap in my heart recognizing that I too have the capacity to create, even if of necessity it is a lesser capacity and most certainly not unmarred. From age to age I write and even now I smile to see words appear upon the screen that faintly mirror my own realities. I crumble up the paper and toss it over my shoulder. This page has about reached its end.

Waves Crash Against that Great Rock

Down the stairs and up the red line
across the universe the music climbs
spirals of thoughts and a kaleidoscope
of lies
what now do you whisper in my ear
what now do you dangle before me
it’s deceitful and manipulative
you know it i know it
cease and desist
or else i shall come and be forced
to spin a new tale yet an old one too
one you’ve heard far too many times yet
you still refuse to believe it true
what shall i say my friend?
i love you yet i turn my face away
i weary of resting my eyes upon
lesser stories
i sorrow over beholding
thinner glories
why do i persist in delighting
in the manufactured
when the real thing is glimmering
in the corner of my eye
oh little child
keep yourself from idols

Quite Right

She leaned on the balcony and strained to see the stars. That’s all she wanted in this moment. She wanted to rest her eyes on something beautiful this night but alas it looked as if it were not to be. The clouds hung low over the skyline and nothing pierced the veil save the twinkle of a plane’s lights every two minutes or so. There were nights Natalia loved living in the city, times where she couldn’t believe her fortune to be living here at the center of all things. Then there were nights like tonight, when her feet yearned to run through a grassy meadow and her heart longed to hear the laughter of a brook as it ran past. Tonight, Natalia wished she could rest her eyes upon the heavens and see the stars strewn across the sky in all their glory. But tonight her ears were full of wailing sirens and the lights from the building across the street trumpeted in her face and laughed in mockery of all her dreams. Natalia sighed as she folded her arms around herself. She closed her eyes and let her imagination take her far away, back to her girlhood home. She could see the cottage at the end of the driveway, she could see the garden that lay at the back of the yard. She could smell the woodsmoke ascending to the heavens and she could hear the clucking of the chickens too. If she let herself sit long enough with her sorrows, she surely would hear his voice next. Instead, all she heard was the drone of another plane across the city sky.