Oh how quickly they all turn against me, these treacherous thoughts of mine. I once predicted such a rebellion yet I never thought it would go down like this. My defenses down and my heart broken, I lift a glass to my lips as I ponder the train of events that has led me to this perilous cliff. But looking backwards does not bring much profit, to be sure. All it does is stoke the raging emotions and fears that even now rise in my throat and threaten to overwhelm all else. What could I have done differently? So many things cry the voices in unison. But how was I to know? I did my best. Too bad so sad. Now you pay the ferryman and hope. I do hope that the toll is not more than I can bear. It may be. Yet I fear to linger here in these perilous waters. There are warmer, sweeter climes ahead. Onwards, dear one, onwards. I forget what lies behind and press on. I take a swallow from the glass. Bitter on my tongue yet a song in my heart. My heart has cracks in it but forged anew I feel now in the melancholy of this night. I cry to the one who knows my name. I whisper a prayer to my Father and ask for mercy now. I cry to my Lord Jesus and say you know, you know. I whisper a bare groan to the Spirit and say oh please pray for me. Renewed my thoughts rise to the heavens as I look out over those solitary shores.