Writing a few words this warm grey day even though in the moment I fear anything I write will be without weight. For my mind flutters here and there, just as that butterfly about to alight from that rain sodden bough in search of a sweeter blossom. In earnest I seek truth that is just now peeking from beyond the horizon yet I wonder if I will have the eyes to see. For too often are my eyes blinded by the lights of nearer storefronts and the phones held aloft by those who flowing walk in syncopated patterns down this cobbled street. Maybe I just need to get outside this city and abandon all that I once held dear. Perhaps I just need to cry aloud to the God my fathers knew. For all I know the truth that will bring me nigh to heaven is written down in this leather bound book that I cannot help but still cling to. Have you ever heard a line in a movie or read a stanza in a poem that when it hits your mind it does more and penetrates your very soul? Some say they feel the goosebumps on their arms or some say they feel their hands tremble. For me I feel the water start to rise in the corners of my eyes and if I speak my voice cracks under the weight of that allusion to ancient myth. Somehow true and yet I question.
Tag: musing
Monologue
Isn’t it glorious to let your words run away with themselves and craft a tale of which even you aren’t certain of the denouement? Far too often do I do this I confess to the surprise of no one whatsoever. Once in a while – even under that proverbial blue moon – I actually have a plan and execute or at least more or less. Yet that is rare and often it is only because I’m composing as I’m driving down the roadside and alas have no time to stop and pen my lines. Thus it turns out that I allow myself the severe mercy of crafting a through line in my head before all the little lovely turns of phrase and details get put down. Then I know where I’m going and there I know where I must end. But even that is fine for the best parts are those lines that crop up like Athena full formed and sing so sweetly that their harmonies are the only ones that get commented on by those who read. Ah for the graces to be bestowed more liberally that I might more often produce some such that even I dare marvel at from whence it came. Yet can I take credit – of certain not – for I know my origin and that I’m yet created so my so-called creation can only be attributed to the greater composer who writes all tunes. Still yet that means an earthen vessel can be gazed upon and recognized as something beautiful in and of itself even if the potter is not at that time credited. True? I wonder yes I wonder and am in humble awe that once in a great while my pen scribbles something almost great. I am not worthy no not worthy I to my God proclaim. For now I sit upon this couch and lean back against the pillow and with the fevered intensity that comes with blazing dreams of glory say – fall back and sit and sigh and rest and take in the little moments of beauty that once upon a time fall upon your eyes. Slow down and realize that these moments that point to greater glory are all around us yes even now look for the cracks in this world that point to eternity and cry for dreams of glory that beg us to consider from whence they come.
Last Train from the Northern Isles
Flowers upon the table and a song upon the lips. What shall I say now when I see you looking at me? How did it come to this? Across the room our eyes slowly lock and in that meeting there is a communion deeper than words can tell. For sure there is a history there but also a future that is so richly signified by this moment in which we linger now. I wonder if you see the colours in the flowers and recognize in them the vibrancy that sings of life. I think you do for I still remember when you saw them the sparkles in your eyes. And so of course it happens that our words tangle a bit now and then as words are wont to do. Yet still at the end we pull the threads by opposite ends and tell each other exactly the signification of what we were meaning to. Do you see the candles flickering even now? I walk to the kitchen and stir the bolognese and add just a bit more salt. Almost ready I say to you and I lean around the corner and we share a smile. Here’s to the moments passing that tick on the clock that it cannot quite memorialize. So instead I sit here and write and hope to God that he holds us close even as we look to the western skies. At some points it’s true that our lights will waver and we will dance once more across the kitchen floor. When that happens please do me a favor and remind me of the truths that I so often write in prose. Here it comes and there it withers, so quick does the summertime grass grow. For once I hold my tongue and let the stanzas whirl through the violet twilight and in the moment still I hold my breath. This life I scorn as I look to the promise of what it means to be newborn and I shiver as I await my rest.
To Trust in the Unseen
Hello all!! Just finished my lunch here at work and about to get back to it, but I noticed I have approximately seven minutes remaining of my lunch break, so might as well write something here, since it has been a few days!! I really need time to write much much more, but I am hampered by various constraints so no long post today. This past weekend I was in Nebraska/Iowa with the family(and extended family!) for Grandma Hogan’s funeral. I don’t even know if I can quite do justice to this time with my ill-chosen words, so I will not even try at this time. But I do want to state how good my God is, how abundantly faithful and richly compassionate He has been to one as weak and low as me. Oh how joyous to think on that glorious day when I shall see my God face to face!! This is what I long for, truly. Someday. Someday.
And now my time flees and I think it’s best I not write anymore. Be at peace, one and all. Much love, my friends.
VCR
You used to have all the answers
And you, you still have them too
And we, we live half in the daytime
And we, we live half at night
Watch things on vcrs
With me and talk about big love
I think we’re superstars
You say you think we are the best thing
And you, you just know
You just do
I wanna find myself by the sea
In another’s company
By the sea
I wanna go out to the pier
I’m gonna dive and have no fear
‘Cause you, you just know
You just do
Watch things on vcrs
With me and talk about big love
I think we’re superstars
You say you think we are the best thing
And you, you just know
You just do
(Note: this song is not written by me…!!)
Oh So Cavalier
Morning, friends!! Am sadly lacking in time to write a proper entry here, but just wanted to say that I’m excited for this week. And no, nothing all that special going on, but I’m just feeling refreshed anew and looking forward to see what God will do in my life this week. As I work this week, I know that He too is working. In me. Is that not a wondrous thought??? (It is, just in case you thought that was not a rhetorical question)
Be filled with joy and grace this week, my friends, as you consider the beauty of Christ – the e’er indescribable glory of God – and never stop remembering that we are children of God. Let your heart sing that song as you go throughout this week, my friends. Peace and love.
A softer silence
“Nothing renders us so like unto God as our love unto Christ Jesus, for he is the principal object of his love;-in him doth his soul rest – in him is he always well pleased.”
-John Owen, The Glory of Christ
Just some brief musings as I read…truly, as difficult as Owen is to read at times, reading his writings on the glories and beauty of Christ is honey to my soul. Ah what longings it arouses in my heart, to read such sweet words on the nature and majesty of Christ and of the Father and of the Spirit and of their divine love and incomprehensible wisdom. As many good books as may be out on the bookshelves of this world, the ones I love reading the most are the ones that stir my passions for Jesus and let me see His face a little clearer. When a book brings me such joy, as to ponder on the ineffable Christ…this is when I know I’m reading the right book.
Oh my brothers and sisters, rest in peace tonight, knowing that our Savior is with us, always and forever.
A study in cerulean
G’morning! I really don’t have time for a long update today(actually, I *do* have time, but I figure I’ve been at Starbucks quite long enough today, so don’t want to linger too much longer!), but I just noticed I haven’t written in here since December 17th – shocking! I didn’t even get my traditional Christmas update up. Oops. That’s probably partly because my Christmas routine was dramatically thrown off this year, mainly because of the fact that I was here in Scotland instead of home in Florida. A bit different from the norm. Slightly. Anyways, although I could detail my awesome Christmas and New Year’s events here with friends(replete with many games, far too much good traditional Scottish Christmas fare, relaxing to the utmost, reading more than I’ve read in months, and more than just a little coffee…), I will spare you this once. And just say that though I was(and am) saddened not to be home with the fam for Christmas, God my Father has given me so much here to be grateful for. And by not dwelling on the sadness, I can rejoice and be thankful for what I do have here in Scotland!! I’m thinking I probably won’t make it home to Florida until at the earliest May, but I’ll keep you all informed.
And once again, my fingers are out-pacing the best of my intentions to keep this short. And I’ve not really said anything! But maybe that’s alright. Maybe I can just write and let the words pour out of my fingers in a waterfall of muses and songs. Or not. But nonetheless, I’m not going to do a 2011-year-end survey, but know that I was exceedingly blessed. As always!! And for 2012, it’s going to be an amazing year, that I know! While the details are clouded in the mists of the furiously raging river of the future, there is little doubt that this year will be a year to remember. Just saying.
Also, though once my heart was lost in the wars of this age and I was trampled upon like the dust of this earth, and though at times I still feel this is so, I cannot help but marvel at the ever more abundant harvests of love that have been granted to me, a lost one. A sinner. In the past, yea. But even in these current days, I fail and I fall and I weep and I call and yet I rest on the banks of the river of my salvation. A river so full of life, ne’er was anything so beautiful beheld. But from Christ alone, does this river spring. And so do I lift my voice and lift my song and lift my life, always. Always.
Pardon my somewhat emotional musings…at least I will refrain from writing more!
And to you all, peace and love.
Little children
And we know that the
Son of God has come,
and has given us understanding
so that we may know
Him who is true; and we
are in Him who is true, in
His Son Jesus Christ.
This is the true God
and eternal life.
-1 John 5:24
Love. Beauty.
If only our frail minds could grasp the full infinitude of the love of God!! Let our souls be awash in the knowledge of His love. Let our hearts dance and sing and glory!
It is written
Quick thought while I’m making dinner.
Just reading Matthew 21…what does Jesus do as soon as he is acclaimed the King? Does he bask in the adulation of the crowds? No, he goes straight to the temple and drives the money-changers and merchants from the house of God,
“It is written, ‘My house shall be called a house of prayer’; but you are making it a robbers’ den.”
Tragic. Heartbreaking. The house of worship of the living God had been desecrated by the greed of men. And just makes me think of what Jesus would say of much of the ‘Christian’ world today. Are we so wrapped up in the world of Christianity that we forget we live in a world of fallen people? Are we more excited about momentary worldly gain than we are about being indwelt by the Holy Spirit? Are we satisfied more by the praise of our peers than by the praise of our God? Would we forget the words of Paul that Christ did not consider equality with God a thing to be grasped? If Christ could so do, then how could we not lay aside our pride and be servants of all?
How could we place the temporal above the eternal?
How could we place the temporal pleasures of this world above the eternal souls of men?
How could we place the temporal riches of this world above the eternal Christ?
Worship the King.
Something Weird 