Smokestacks

Another Monday begins. What this week brings who can tell? Or at the least, I can say for certainty not I. A bit of uncertainty, a bit of anxiety as we slide headfirst into April into chaos looming. But is not all of life a bit of chaos, heedlessly unconstrained by the chains that we so meticulously fasten around our plans in order to bring about our own designs? We think at times that if we plan just so and schedule in such and such a fashion that we might then truly have our lives set aright and in smooth and careful steps proceed accordingly to our will. We would be as gods. Yet all of life goes to prove us wrong. We take firm steps and we plan. This is good. Yet on this sea that tosses violently there is only one who can of his own accord calm it. Not I, never I. Is that not a bit reassuring? It is to me and you may wonder why. It is simple – I am every day shown how feeble and frail are my strivings. If the path of my life was up to me alone, I would have good reason to be terrified at the outcome. For I know the deep and lingering darkness in myself as well as the storm that howls round about. It is not a good thing to be left to one’s own devices. And so on this slowly waking morning, I look anew to the horizon grateful for my soul’s own mooring. I trust not in myself for myself, thanks be to God! Instead I trust in the one who never fails and never flees. I trust in Jesus Christ who gave his life for me. This is true and this is real and this actuality of salvation which has occurred is more solid looming in my mind than any imagined pain or hurt. I linger in wondering awe at the foot of this long dreamed hill and watch the flowers grow.

Countryside

Just finished making my little tomato/avocado salad and popped it in the fridge. Now? Well the burritos will at some point be put in the oven for dinner, but that point is still far off. It’s a Friday evening and while it’s been a good week…also been a tiring one. Wonderfully – a quiet night is now at hand! I wish I could say I’d try and write a bit, but not sure it’s in the cards. Perhaps a poem or two, perhaps. And really at some point I should work a bit more on my long prose. But for the now, I’m oh so grateful for a night where I can simply rest in our cosy apartment at the end of a long week. I think a bit of quality classical music is in order and of course a candle. And books? Without question. I’m close to finishing up Mere Christianity – a joy and delight as expected, a vigorous fresh breeze of truth and clarity. And I may also read a bit more of my WWI book – Sleepwalkers, which is inordinately fascinating and I really can’t put it down, though I must at some point in order to make time for book club book – Mrs. Dalloway. I think that last shall be the crown jewel of the evening for there is almost nothing that I enjoy more than to open a new book and sink deep into the world within. Well in actuality there is a list of probably ten or more things that I enjoy more, but I shall not bore you now by listing those off. Let me simply end by saying how grateful I am for a night of rest. And of course – the joy that fills my heart as I thrill at the thought that I am a child of God. Peace, my friends. Peace and love.

The Process

What one does when one seeks to relax says a lot about a person. Or at least, that’s what I’m pondering now as I – in my own way – spend a few minutes sprawling on the couch attempting to put words to page. When one’s creative juices have gone dry and there are no more faded memories fit to be mined, what does one write about? Well that’s when it all goes meta and the wannabe author starts talking about the process of writing. Nothing more boring for the non-author, am I right? But for some of my fellow authors, well…maybe you’re interested in what I have to say? At this point probably not, because I’m just spinning my wheels in this endless intro and you may now suspect – and you’d be right – that I don’t actually have a plan for what I’m writing. And there’s a reason for that.

I most certainly cannot speak for all writers but guess what? I can speak for myself, and so I do. Writing is something that ends in somewhat the same destination. There are words on a page (or on a screen, or on a wall, or various other surfaces, who am I to judge) and these words are presumably an expression of the author’s mind. Yet the process of writing varies in an almost infinite kaleidoscope of ways. The routines and the tics, the little tricks an author does to trick himself into writing something that could be construed as creative are some of the most treasured tools in the author’s toolbox. And I cringe that I have finally used the dreaded toolbox metaphor. Oh may I never do such again.

And I have now wasted another paragraph spinning my wheels. Oh what is this nonsense! I could be smug and say there is a purpose to that and you know what? There is. But I must also be a bit humble and admit that the fact I have spent two paragraphs talking about nothing to illustrate my point is a fortuitous turn of events that I did not realize its ultimate end until now. And that point shall now be illustrated.

Simply this – and I am proud to think that I am alone in this technique but I am sure I am not and I wait for the other writers to hoarde around me and echo that I am not at all unique – I write of random thoughts and tidbits in my brain knowing the writing soul shall not awaken until I give it a good few kicks. Much as one primes a pump, I know that my best output won’t happen right away. Indeed, I can stare at the screen all I want but it is very rare that my best words bloom immediately. Instead, I write. Sometimes nonsense, such as now. Other times, I will visualize a random scene and simply write what comes to me, allowing my imagination to slowly wake and rub the sleep out of its eyes as it looks around and sees what there is to see. But this is the important thing. I write. It is the most basic and excellent writing advice there is and it is preached for a reason. It works. How does one write? You write. It matters not what one writes. Of course eventually one may seek for quality and depth of substance in one’s prose or poetry, but initially? Just write. I stretch my mind and as I write and let my fingers outpace my conscious mind, sometimes I am even stunned at what is eventually resting on the page, alive and vibrant with meaning and truth that I did not myself know was waiting to spring forth from my soul.

I crave to write things that are of beauty and truth. I often fail, it is true. But occasionally I succeed. And I cannot credit my own foreknowledge or depth of craft that I possess in such meagre quantity. Instead, I am grateful for what I have been blessed with, the ability to communicate somewhat of the miraculous, releasing spirit thoughts from my brain to the great beyond, words on a page. If I simply put fingers to keyboard and pound away, eventually some gold emerges from the dross. Not all the time. Not often even. But when from beyond the great sea come words that ring true in a way that leaves my soul in stunned silence at what has been wrought? I lift my eyes to heaven and say a prayer of thanks. For this is how I rest, by pounding out the fresh harvest of my thoughts so that the chaff may be released and perhaps pure silken wheat may be left behind to witness true. I don’t know what it says about me. But in this ultra modern era in which I inhabit, I write to rest. Writing slows my thoughts and reveals inner dreams that soothe and invigorate my very soul. I cannot promise any of these words are or will be of any use to anyone else. But writing them was of use to me. And why not now release them into the wild? These words are not of anymore use to me now – may they run off into the woods and bless who they will.

That Scotland Sky

The day turns just like that. I was wearing my blue and green striped sweater and she had on her dusty pink sweatshirt and we walked side by side. It was so warm and nice she bemoaned. Why must it now be cold? I grinned to myself, secretly – oh who are we kidding, she knew full well – thrilled at this turn of events. Our hair windblown, our shoulders slightly damp from the January rain, we walked hand in hand. I gleefully informed her that due to the fact that it was winter, even though in this southern clime, it was fully right and proper that the freeze should be upon us. She huffed mildly. I would like to say she saw reason at that previous statement of mine, but alas she still groaned that it should come to this. The arctic breezes danced around us as the palm trees tossed their heads in fruitless protest. And in silence now we walked, she and I. Hot chocolate when we get home I asked at last? And then finally those words got a smile. Her eyes sparkled and she said yes yes yes. Homeward we go and I raised my arms in welcome embrace to the wintry blue and dappled sky. The day has turned out rather fine.

A cup of chocolate

And a brief few words from me before I dive into my lovely Thursday night reading. Just had a good meal of leftover pork chops, potatoes and green beans and now enjoying my hot chocolate as John watches the football(Man U vs. Ajax, 1-1, 49th minute for anyone interested!). Had yet another crazy day at work, but I cannot complain when I am so abundantly blessed!! Last night had a beyond lovely time at church(still going through Revelation – the letter to the church at Sardis – oh so convicting and yet I loved it so) being encouraged by the Word of God and being encouraged by His people. May all of us become ever more driven by the passion to know our Lord more and to seek after Jesus and to gaze into His glorious face! May our hearts burn ever hotter and may our lives glow ever brighter with the Spirit that is poured out upon us so mightily. May we be so washed in the love of Christ and so aware of His beauty that we cannot help but follow after Him in the sheer bliss of being His. Oh inexpressible joy!

And I totally didn’t mean to spiral into such an outpouring…but thus goes my heart.

And going back to last night…after such an amazing time at church, came home, but did I do the sensible thing of eating dinner and going to bed? Of course not. Instead I walked the sidewalks near my flat as I conversed with my dear friend back in Florida…ah how sweet an evening it was! And though I never did get dinner last night, it was all worth it.

And now, with my brief words said, it’s reading time. And maybe time for another cup of cocoa.

Love you all, ever so much.

Peace.

Thyatira

So another crazy week comes to an end…one overflowing with the joys and trials of work…and one in which I was reminded evermore of the goodness of our Lord. Ah how gracious is He to us – to provide us with such good things! I have been blessed with such sweet friends here in Scotland…and my God is always with me.

And now, my hastily cobbled together dinner is almost ready(I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to eat, so I ended up with chicken, pasta, romano cheese, onions, tomatoes, tomato sauce, green olives and lots of basil in a pan in the oven…now time to top it with mozzarella and see how delicious this experiment turns out…)

Farewell, all.

Grace and peace.

Flickering

It’s Saturday evening. This means I probably should be writing a long entry, or at least something more substantial than my last few updates! But alas, my mind feels dim and my fingers feeble. I do not think I can write much tonight. I’ve been pretty sick(well, mostly just coughing alarmingly every other minute or so) this past week and work has been as hectic as usual…so today has been oh so sweet! This morning I woke up at the late hour of 9:30(four hours later than usual? Bliss) and made my way to Starbucks, where I dedicated the first few hours to working. Because yes, it had to be done. Finally, was able to relax for a few hours and read and rest with my chocolate doughnut and my musings.

Now, relaxing on the comfy brown couch here in the flat and I feel sleepy. My body is probably trying to recover, but I shall not go to bed this early on a Saturday night!! Enjoying listening to the new(ish) NeedtoBreathe album, but wonder if I should turn the music off and just read for a bit…I think it’s been too long since I’ve had a nice long reading night. Would be oh so lovely.

So now, despite this stretching beyond what I planned…I will write no further. ’tis reading time.

Love you all.

Men of Valor

From the Gadites there came over to David in the wilderness, mighty men of valor, men trained for war, who could handle shield and spear, and whose faces were like the faces of lions, and they were as swift as the gazelles on the mountains…

Seriously epic verse, no? I’m not actually sure why I posted that, but I just love finding random awesome verses like that. (1 Chronicles 12:8, if anyone’s wondering) And while there’s nothing particularly “spiritual” in that verse…well, my heart can’t help but be lifted up and inspired to be such a man of valor as they. Maybe I’m not equipped with shield and spear or I’m not actually as fast as a gazelle(seriously – those guys were beasts!!)…but may I serve my God with such a dedication as they. Sometimes we are too lax in our service to our God…comfortable in our nice warm homes in our luxurious cities. Not too many of us willfully choose to make ourselves uncomfortable by charging into the wilderness. Not often do we give up all that we have to serve our Savior. I just pray that as blessed as we are to live such comfortable lives, we give thanks to our God continually! And that we never seek our own pleasure or glory before that of our most awesome Father. Amen? Amen.

Also, may we constantly seek after our Lord’s face and delight in His Word to us! Let’s stop continually indulging in the things of this world…and instead rest in the quiet peace of knowing Jesus Christ. Take a moment away from thinking on the whirlwind that is this world and think upon the things of God. Rest in his glory. Rest in his love.

And now, as always, I leave you with mine.

Peace and love.