Upon the Brow

Hello friends! A quick little post this evening before I dive into a bit of reading. I have just started a re-read of Name of the Wind and oh I had forgotten how much I love it. I am delighted anew as I read the words dance across the page. Yes this series may never be finished but I’m ok with that – the beauty in this book alone is enough. So yes, reading time awaits. It’s been raining much of the day and so it’s been that grey kind of day that lingers in the bones and makes one linger in the moment and ponder what’s come before. I am happy though and even pleased that I got to write a bit earlier (scroll down). Don’t take any of it overly seriously – all the writings were just little pieces of imagination attempting to let my creativity do something worthwhile for once. Not entirely sure I succeeded with any of them, alas. Especially the poems were something dreadful now that I look at them in the harsh light after the fever has worn off. I don’t know what’s going on, poetry used to be my bread and butter and now it seems a bit drab and off and doesn’t flow as well as it used to. My prose is where I live these days and I suppose I’m grateful for that. But I’m tempted to focus on poetry more now just to see if I can reclaim the flame and dash off some lines that make me smile even after the fact. We shall see, we shall see. Anyway, I’ve talked far too much about writing and not even sure why I decided to write this piece at all. But I will let it live, I suppose. Thoughts on the page are a reflection of lightning in the mind and I am grateful to have these odd writings to look at after a time. Whenever James-of-the-future re-reads this, he will maybe be puzzled at the existence of these lines yet I urge him to think that in this moment I feel at peace and oh so very alive. It is these quiet moments where the candle crackles and the music floats across the room and I look to see my wife smiling to herself that I cannot deny the magic of this life that I somehow have been graciously given. It is good for us to be here.

Teatime

I have been trying to write winter poetry and failing miserably. Alas it is not to be this night. Hence I switch to prose, the last resort of the poet who refuses to believe his muse is dead. Or temporarily incapacitated. One hopes only temporarily. But sometimes the fire burns within and one simply must write or else he feels as if his soul will crumple in on itself like a big ball of wadded up notebook paper that is scrunched so tight that it may yet yield to the tendency to become a black hole. Yes, that is the correct feeling, finally put in words to burn in their very temporal state. But where was I? Ah yes, talking of poetry and poets and their unsurprising failures. As for me, switching to prose often feels like a defeat, yet I long to snatch victory from its jaws yet. I too am a shepherd boy – or at least I attempt to model myself after one such – and so I too can fiercely extricate this prized lamb from the lion’s jaws. Scratch that last. Dreadful metaphor, quite mixed in theme and usage. To continue. Sometimes prose pieces are fun, sometimes they turn out dreadful too. This one feels whimsical and experimental enough, I am actually somewhat pleased. It amuses me, I will allow it to live. Oh how merciful am I. Now for the piece at hand.

I really did mean to write some winter poetry as I just returned from a lovely walk on this January evening. Finally my humble southern state has been blessed with weather that feels like winter. Temperature in the mid-40s and a nice dry air and a stunning sunset to boot? What have I done to be blessed with such beauty? Well, nothing of course. It’s not all about me. Instead, the glory belongs to another. Musings such as this rolled around in my head as I walked down the sidewalk in my little neighborhood. I thought of the interplay of the small neighborhood with the sky above. The small old houses seem so feeble when compared with the majesty of a winter sunset sky. The clouds stretch up and up, set on fire by the last triumphal notes of the setting sun. The trees contribute a chorus, their branches finally shed of their overly ragged autumnal garments. The branches stretch up and out and contrast nicely against the blues and purples and oranges. But the houses? They seem a bit timid and bashful, their structures not at all suited to be seen in company with the artistry of heaven. An outlier though? The power lines. The power lines start on poles which masquerade nicely as slender wintry trees…and then the lines swoop gracefully, firm and delicate and subtle all at the same time as they highlight the brilliant colours of the twilight. Seeing the power lines hug the sky just as I hug my own arms to myself – well, it brings me a cosy satisfaction. I find delight in the way the mundane creations of this world complement the creations of the one who existed before this world began. It is a thrill to think on such and imagine that just as the power lines point to something greater, so too am I privileged to rest my eyes on the fires of heaven and sing praises to the one on high. Am I also allowed to compliment this moment as my figure somehow complements this scene in which I walk? What does it look like, this frail and faded creation walking on the sidewalk this winter night? Am I too allowed to be thought of as the mundane that points to the beautiful a bit beyond my mortal sight? My temporal hand stretches forth to the eternal. The power lines continue to vibrate in holy tension and I sigh. The sliver of dusk shivers in anticipation of resurrection glories and the waxing starlight sings of a story not yet done. The book is written and the ending sure. But for now, turn one page at a time. Faithfully I read on, now a candle lit beside me as I let my mind slip back to the present. Yet still I remember the stark beauty of that cold and perfect winter sunset sky.

Starlight

This morning the dark lingers. The depth of winter grasps onto the light and keeps it away and while I would appreciate the first rays of sunlight to creep over the horizon, I know I must wait a few more minutes yet. Even so, I now appreciate the fact that I am beginning this week as the year winds to an end and I reflect over all that has been and muse over that which is and shall be. I wish to meditate upon truth in the lamplight that now spills over my shoulder. I have a book upon my lap which contains more of reality than my mind can ever grasp and I gasp to consider that the stars that blaze out overhead cannot outshine the enormity of the pillars of creation that have given me such a sure and steady confidence in the very God who holds my hand. Oh yes I am quite guilty of mixing a few metaphors as I attempt to muster my thoughts – consider that a testimony to the awe that fills my soul as I drink deep the love of God who fills all my dry and dusty places. For yes, this book that I mentioned earlier is the very Word of God – crafted by his hand and set afore us in the wisdom that is beyond our ken. But we may ask – is not this book merely written by common men? This is when our intellectual yearnings take over and we burn to find out more. I would wager – as indeed I have – that this book can hold up to any questions we can throw against it. Just taste and see. There is a divine reason that this book has held up throughout these many years and has placed such a burning in the hearts of those touched by the very Spirit of God. My heart longs for beauty. But beauty unmoored from reality is really no beauty at all, wouldn’t you say? And realizing that, I look up to the stars that sing the songs of heaven and I consider the truths that have enlivened my very soul. From where does my soul come? Or rather – from whom? Why do I long for that which my eyes cannot yet see? I yearn to meet the God greater than that which can be imagined by my little mind. But I do know him as he has for eternity known that he would be with me. What wonders, wonders fill my mind! See the light step over the horizon. I sip my mug of coffee and feel the pleasure that comes with that perfect first cup. Someday a more perfect pleasure will blaze in my soul as I sit at the feet of Jesus Christ and hear his words to me. For now though – I will echo the call of eternity for it does ring in even these everyday mundane realities. There is a song of joy that I would join and so I must away!

The Pond at Camelot

Why does she keep writing? I wish to echo her song but I keep finding myself left behind. There’s a piece of magic in the pieces that proceed from her pen, a poetry that expresses itself in such a manner that would be envied by the Romantics of yesteryear. I find myself speechless. Hence why I retreat back to my own garret and proceed to scribble responses that I’d never dare send to her. Her writings stand alone, dominant and unshakeable in their conviction of the beauty that thrills the soul. My writings would be merely reflections, meaningless apart from the source. Perhaps I could dialogue with her and sharpen her analysis of the true nature of the world. Perhaps I could send her a fond note in which I drop a few hints that she’s persuaded me too. Perhaps the only worth I have is in holding a candle up to the parchment pages that she’s filled with life. I cannot use any other word for it. Her poetry is life itself, bursting and singing forth the bones of reality itself. Do you see that cherry tree out yonder past the stone wall? I’ve sat there many times, holding up its trunk with my stiff neck. Yet it was not until I read her lines that I truly grasped the beauty of a cherry blossom in spring, even though my eyes surely must have at many times seen that very sight. The tinder is carefully laid and the wood is prepared near to hand. I cannot argue against the testimony of my heart that cries out in the night. Sometimes it seems the night mutterings are more true than the daytime blatherings. I would walk up and shake her hand but I fear she’d turn away knowing I was not worthy. I am not worthy. I walk up to the bookshelves that line this room and run my finger across every spine. The way is prepared and the path is cleared. Where is the spark? I wait for it to fly for only then will I be prepared to die. Her poems speak of dustpans and green curtains and islands in the blue. And even when she talks of teatime at dusk in all its mundanity, I see it, that hope of that which is to come. I pull up a chair and lay down my book. It opens to a proper page for of course it does. She smiles and reaches out her hand. Trembling, I hold out mine.

Art Deco

It is a most glorious day. This morning – finally! – is sitting at sub-60 temperature and it is drippy and wet and slightly cold and it is beautiful. I forget how much I love the “winter” (quotation marks most definitely required) here in Houston. And it is here at long last! So now I get to enjoy my hot coffee inside after having walked in from the (marginally) cold outside and I am happy. Another reason for happiness – I got quite a good long reading time this morning…woke up (reasonably) on time and thus was able to luxuriate in reading through sections of Psalm 119, some Proverbs, 1 Kings 19-20(1 Kings 19 – will always be one of my very favourites after preaching through it in Scotland…oh how encouraging are those words! God indeed takes care of our needs and encourages us with his presence and reminds us of the truths we ought to know…and gives us good works to do. May I remember that this day) and then finally Galatians (yes, I had time to read all of it – which truly is necessary as Galatians is such a lovely book and needs to be read straight through!). So I am ever more aware of how truly blessed I am. Might I constantly be reminded today of how I ought not boast in anything else other than the cross of my Lord Jesus Christ. Always.

The Buffalo

So…a few(for reals!) words as I sit sleepily here on a slowly lightening Monday morn…

I had a delightfully adventerous and exhausting weekend up in Arkansas with John, Jared, Peter, Chase and others on a camping and canoeing trip…and while I wish I could say it was all beautiful(trust me when I say there were plenty of beautiful moments!!), it also had moments of cold and wet and somewhat miserable sensations…I think I felt like I relate to Sam Gamgee quite a bit…adventures are wonderful when you’re reading about them, but as you go through them, you realize there’s quite a few unpleasant and painful bits!!  But the moments of briskly kayaking down the Buffalo River, cliffs towering on one side, proud trees on the other and gorgeous blue water ahead were what made it all worth it…the solitude and sound of rushing water and the sunshine resting on my head…all of this was beautiful and much loved by me.  And so I could sing a few refrains from favourite songs and thank the Lord who made it all so. 

But now as I am sore and tired and yet have a full week of work ahead of me…I suppose I shall take those sweet memories of beauty and peace and hold them dear and then proceed about my business.  It shall be a good week, though I know not what comes.

Peace and love, one and all.

The Last Hurrah

So I was going to write a much longer post (and maybe even a poem!) but alas (not really) I actually talked to Dad on phone instead, which was very worth it!  And so now my minutes to write are few.  But quickly…

It is still wonderfully cold here – sub-50s temperature when I walked out to my car this morning!!  One last time I shall say – long may it continue!!  Even though…I know that no, it most certainly will not continue long.  But I shall enjoy it much.  Oh shall I enjoy it!  Yesterday was sublime.  After church and various errands, came home and quickly made and ate lunch(chicken & curry-spiced cauliflower & red peppers!) then fled to the glorious outdoors.  Walked down White Oak enjoying the strains of live music that were being played at every other bar and restaurant…then went to Red for a quick espresso (because why not, yeah?) then got to talk to Maryanne for a bit to wish her happy birthday as she is now 27 years old, what!!!  Happy happy birthday, Maryanne, dearest sister!!!  Then I realised I’d missed a call from Daniel…so once I walked down to EQ and settled in my usual spot on the porch, called him back and we had a beautiful time chatting.  Oh how I miss him.  But it was a great talk and I must remind myself to pray for him more, that God continues to bless him and grant him peace in all things.  After that…well, no more phone chatting, so I instead settled in my chair on the porch and soaked in the sunshine.  Brilliant blue sky.  Scents of springtime abounded.  And as I read my book (The Dragon Reborn, of course) and enjoyed the sounds of people talking all around me…I could not help but lift my eyes to the heavens and thank God for all that He has made.  Glory hallelujah.

That was yesterday and it was beautiful.  Briefly before I fly – must also mention how great Saturday night was!  Earnie and Mandy had both finally taken their PE exam on Friday and they were deliriously happy at being done with that!  Earnie feels most confident, Mandy slightly less so but I am still sure they both passed.  Anyways – since they finally now have time to have a social life again, I had them over for dinner.  I made burritos and avocado/tomato salad and we ate and talked and laughed…and many many hours later we realised it was almost 12:30 in the morning and probably a good time to part since church was indeed coming up the next (same!) day.  I just want to say though – their friendship is oh so precious to me and I am very grateful for them and the encouragement they are to me.  It even made me happy that I got to lend them a couple of my books – Revival and Revivalism by Murray and a Douglas MacArthur biography.  I love lending books to friends – it gladdens my heart!

Right.  I have now written far more than I thought I would, but I’m glad I could chronicle this wonderful past weekend.  Now, my friends, farewell.  Peace and love.

Springtime

It is still…just…so…lovely outside!!  Yet again a perfect blue sky bright sunshine luscious jasmine kind of day here.  And so yes once again after work, I walked down Heights and had my (as is now tradition!) reading time on the porch there.  I keep thinking summer is here, but not yet.  Not yet.  The walk to the coffeeshop was framed in brilliantly blossoming green and flowers and all kinds of growing things…and it was all so beautiful.  It is good to consider the loving creative grandeur of our God.  And now I am back inside, about to have a relaxing sushi dinner…but thought I could at least express(faintly – oh so faintly!) the joy of my heart and the love that I feel washing over my soul.  Because, truly regardless of all the external wonders that surround, I think on the fact that I am loved by God and I realise I need no other gift than this.  The love of my Saviour.  The love of my God.

Be at peace and be at rest, all you, my dearest friends.

The Grave Is No Bar To My Call

Last night the thunder rumbled deep and the lightnings frequently pulsed throughout the sky and although the rain did drop but softly, the night was not quiet.  And so despite the fact that it would have been glorious to have a good night’s sleep, I am sad to report that it was not so.  And thus I am most sleepy this morning.  But I still cannot complain, for the storm heralded the cold front which has now swept through and although 58 degrees isn’t particularly cold, I will take what I can get in April in Houston.  And today as I sleepily traversed the concrete river that is I10 into work, I pondered on the fact that back in Aberdeen days, I used to be able to commute with the countryside on my right side and the North Sea on my left…oh how I do miss the beauty of those days!  Alas it is not quite as pretty driving through the heart of Houston.  Yet this morning my heart was soothed with the music from the inimitable Seaspray and I reflected on the fact that my God assuredly has His hand upon me this day.  Now and forever.  And after I had a fun coffee chat with Jacqui over in my old building, I walked back over to my office and relished the chill air of the morning and gazed at the slowly lightening pre-dawn sky, blue striated with iron-grey clouds and holding the promise of far more than the eye can see.  Just as surely as in my Genesis reading today when Abram was told to go forth and he did and was promised many wonderful things…so I know my path is laid before me and my future is certainly beautiful.  Peace and love, my friends.  Now and forever. 

Caemlyn

It is still beautiful outside…!  (Of course, right now it is also dark outside, but that is no matter)  Last night was perfectly gorgeous.  I was previously pondering on going to see Wrinkle in Time in cinema because it is truly one of my favourite books of all time and a chance to see a proper adaptation on the big screen was most tempting.  But…the early reviews are…not promising.  Even so – I figured I could grab a 4:50 showing after work and at least give it a whirl.  But walking out to my car quickly convinced me otherwise as the afternoon was most perfect mix of sunshine and blue sky.  So…I could go sit in a dark movie theatre by myself…or I could not do that thing.  So I instead chose to go home, knock out a quick work-out…then walk down to EQ in the simply *glorious* late afternoon light.  Read for a while on EQ’s porch and enjoyed the fine spring evening that I’d been blessed with.  It’s not yet too hot or humid…and the dazzingly brilliant cerulean sky and the sunlight upon my book and the green – so much green! – fresh growth everywhere around me convinced me I’d made the right decision.  Not too many days come around like this one, especially in Houston, mm?  And so my heart swelled near to bursting at the beauty of it all.  A good night.

And now…’tis another morning and I must work.  Peace and love, one and all.