Teatime

I have been trying to write winter poetry and failing miserably. Alas it is not to be this night. Hence I switch to prose, the last resort of the poet who refuses to believe his muse is dead. Or temporarily incapacitated. One hopes only temporarily. But sometimes the fire burns within and one simply must write or else he feels as if his soul will crumple in on itself like a big ball of wadded up notebook paper that is scrunched so tight that it may yet yield to the tendency to become a black hole. Yes, that is the correct feeling, finally put in words to burn in their very temporal state. But where was I? Ah yes, talking of poetry and poets and their unsurprising failures. As for me, switching to prose often feels like a defeat, yet I long to snatch victory from its jaws yet. I too am a shepherd boy – or at least I attempt to model myself after one such – and so I too can fiercely extricate this prized lamb from the lion’s jaws. Scratch that last. Dreadful metaphor, quite mixed in theme and usage. To continue. Sometimes prose pieces are fun, sometimes they turn out dreadful too. This one feels whimsical and experimental enough, I am actually somewhat pleased. It amuses me, I will allow it to live. Oh how merciful am I. Now for the piece at hand.

I really did mean to write some winter poetry as I just returned from a lovely walk on this January evening. Finally my humble southern state has been blessed with weather that feels like winter. Temperature in the mid-40s and a nice dry air and a stunning sunset to boot? What have I done to be blessed with such beauty? Well, nothing of course. It’s not all about me. Instead, the glory belongs to another. Musings such as this rolled around in my head as I walked down the sidewalk in my little neighborhood. I thought of the interplay of the small neighborhood with the sky above. The small old houses seem so feeble when compared with the majesty of a winter sunset sky. The clouds stretch up and up, set on fire by the last triumphal notes of the setting sun. The trees contribute a chorus, their branches finally shed of their overly ragged autumnal garments. The branches stretch up and out and contrast nicely against the blues and purples and oranges. But the houses? They seem a bit timid and bashful, their structures not at all suited to be seen in company with the artistry of heaven. An outlier though? The power lines. The power lines start on poles which masquerade nicely as slender wintry trees…and then the lines swoop gracefully, firm and delicate and subtle all at the same time as they highlight the brilliant colours of the twilight. Seeing the power lines hug the sky just as I hug my own arms to myself – well, it brings me a cosy satisfaction. I find delight in the way the mundane creations of this world complement the creations of the one who existed before this world began. It is a thrill to think on such and imagine that just as the power lines point to something greater, so too am I privileged to rest my eyes on the fires of heaven and sing praises to the one on high. Am I also allowed to compliment this moment as my figure somehow complements this scene in which I walk? What does it look like, this frail and faded creation walking on the sidewalk this winter night? Am I too allowed to be thought of as the mundane that points to the beautiful a bit beyond my mortal sight? My temporal hand stretches forth to the eternal. The power lines continue to vibrate in holy tension and I sigh. The sliver of dusk shivers in anticipation of resurrection glories and the waxing starlight sings of a story not yet done. The book is written and the ending sure. But for now, turn one page at a time. Faithfully I read on, now a candle lit beside me as I let my mind slip back to the present. Yet still I remember the stark beauty of that cold and perfect winter sunset sky.

Starlight

This morning the dark lingers. The depth of winter grasps onto the light and keeps it away and while I would appreciate the first rays of sunlight to creep over the horizon, I know I must wait a few more minutes yet. Even so, I now appreciate the fact that I am beginning this week as the year winds to an end and I reflect over all that has been and muse over that which is and shall be. I wish to meditate upon truth in the lamplight that now spills over my shoulder. I have a book upon my lap which contains more of reality than my mind can ever grasp and I gasp to consider that the stars that blaze out overhead cannot outshine the enormity of the pillars of creation that have given me such a sure and steady confidence in the very God who holds my hand. Oh yes I am quite guilty of mixing a few metaphors as I attempt to muster my thoughts – consider that a testimony to the awe that fills my soul as I drink deep the love of God who fills all my dry and dusty places. For yes, this book that I mentioned earlier is the very Word of God – crafted by his hand and set afore us in the wisdom that is beyond our ken. But we may ask – is not this book merely written by common men? This is when our intellectual yearnings take over and we burn to find out more. I would wager – as indeed I have – that this book can hold up to any questions we can throw against it. Just taste and see. There is a divine reason that this book has held up throughout these many years and has placed such a burning in the hearts of those touched by the very Spirit of God. My heart longs for beauty. But beauty unmoored from reality is really no beauty at all, wouldn’t you say? And realizing that, I look up to the stars that sing the songs of heaven and I consider the truths that have enlivened my very soul. From where does my soul come? Or rather – from whom? Why do I long for that which my eyes cannot yet see? I yearn to meet the God greater than that which can be imagined by my little mind. But I do know him as he has for eternity known that he would be with me. What wonders, wonders fill my mind! See the light step over the horizon. I sip my mug of coffee and feel the pleasure that comes with that perfect first cup. Someday a more perfect pleasure will blaze in my soul as I sit at the feet of Jesus Christ and hear his words to me. For now though – I will echo the call of eternity for it does ring in even these everyday mundane realities. There is a song of joy that I would join and so I must away!

The Pond at Camelot

Why does she keep writing? I wish to echo her song but I keep finding myself left behind. There’s a piece of magic in the pieces that proceed from her pen, a poetry that expresses itself in such a manner that would be envied by the Romantics of yesteryear. I find myself speechless. Hence why I retreat back to my own garret and proceed to scribble responses that I’d never dare send to her. Her writings stand alone, dominant and unshakeable in their conviction of the beauty that thrills the soul. My writings would be merely reflections, meaningless apart from the source. Perhaps I could dialogue with her and sharpen her analysis of the true nature of the world. Perhaps I could send her a fond note in which I drop a few hints that she’s persuaded me too. Perhaps the only worth I have is in holding a candle up to the parchment pages that she’s filled with life. I cannot use any other word for it. Her poetry is life itself, bursting and singing forth the bones of reality itself. Do you see that cherry tree out yonder past the stone wall? I’ve sat there many times, holding up its trunk with my stiff neck. Yet it was not until I read her lines that I truly grasped the beauty of a cherry blossom in spring, even though my eyes surely must have at many times seen that very sight. The tinder is carefully laid and the wood is prepared near to hand. I cannot argue against the testimony of my heart that cries out in the night. Sometimes it seems the night mutterings are more true than the daytime blatherings. I would walk up and shake her hand but I fear she’d turn away knowing I was not worthy. I am not worthy. I walk up to the bookshelves that line this room and run my finger across every spine. The way is prepared and the path is cleared. Where is the spark? I wait for it to fly for only then will I be prepared to die. Her poems speak of dustpans and green curtains and islands in the blue. And even when she talks of teatime at dusk in all its mundanity, I see it, that hope of that which is to come. I pull up a chair and lay down my book. It opens to a proper page for of course it does. She smiles and reaches out her hand. Trembling, I hold out mine.

Citizen Erased

Hi friends!! Thought I’d jot something down quickly here, even though I really should be starting work momentarily! Anyways, it’s a simply gorgeous Friday morning…streaks of pink and purple fill the sky as the sun rises above the horizon…beautiful. Now, I’m drinking my peppermint mocha and pondering a new day, wondering what adventures I’ll encounter today. After work today, going home to have a quiet evening and rest in anticipation of trip to New Orleans this weekend to hang out with Maryanne and see Mumford and Sons! (of which I’m much more excited about the former than the latter!!) I must be off now for real – be well, my friends – peace and love.

A Wind in the Door

Happy Friday, friends!!! I’m much enjoying my peppermint mocha this gorgeous day. Even though summer fast approaches with all the heat it can carry, today it feels simply amazing outside. It was storming as I sat inside reading…the crackling sound of thunder and bright lightning flashes reminded me of how much I do love thunderstorms(when I’m inside that is!). And as I walked into work this morning, the storm had passed. Only a few wisps of clouds passed across the sky and the moon shone down soft upon me. A breeze kissed my cheek and I looked up to the fading stars and it was indeed beautiful. And now I must be off. A full day of work to dominate and then off to Dallas to see Mikaela. A wonderful weekend awaits!! And as I think on how much I am blessed, before anything else, I bow my head and thank my God. Indeed, does my heart sing to Him. Forever and always. Peace and love, dear friends.

Soul Power

Morning all!! It’s Monday morning once again – the beginning of another (hopefully busy and exciting!) week. I’m sipping on my hazulnut mocha and enjoying the slow lightening of the western sky as the dawn continues its inexorable march. I really don’t even have that much to write about(since I just posted two days ago…two posts in three days – shocking!), but thought I would at least say hi.

A slow and ponderous turn of earth,
seems so heavy at times,
so full of nickle and iron
and far too many broken dreams.

Yet soaring through the not quite vacuum,
Soulful dance of nebulae and stars,
Not so heavy now, see?
Tapestry of space flutters,
dreamily.

In Memoriam

This has been a rich morning. And can I describe it all to you here, dear readers? Well, maybe not sufficiently, and most likely no one will care to read this quite as much as I am enjoying remembering it, but it is my journal and so I will make full use of those inherent rights and privileges as I ramble a bit this morn…about small and sundry things that won’t mean as much to you, but have been gifts to my soul this morning.

As I sat on my couch this morning, with my honey-sweetened coffee in hand(always a good way to start the morning, no?), I got to read so many sweet sections of scripture. Starting with Psalms 115 and 116(two of my favorites, bliss! Not to us, oh Lord, not to us, but to Your name be the glory, because of Your lovingkindness, because of Your truth”) and then after reading Proverbs 29(also containing some sweet wisdom which I will not delve into further here) I continued in my journey through Ezekiel. Ezekiel is a very strange and wonderful and dangerously sobering book. And today I read what I still maintain is one of the most chillingly frightening chapters in all of scripture – Ezekiel 22. “‘…and they have forgotten Me,’ declares the Lord GOD.” So after reading in graphic detail the sins of the people of God and of the grave seriousness with which the Lord took the affront to His name, I then turned to Romans, which I’ve just started. Romans is always a perfectly delightful book to read and I’ve really enjoyed the first couple chapters already. So today read chapters 3 and 4, with a very little bit of 5(because really – the first few verses of 5 are just marvelous!! I can’t remember them off-hand, which means you get to look them up). But my reading today(which I seldom describe, but again, I will indulge myself today!) took me from from the depths of despair that is our sin against God…to the heights of glory upon realizing the grand plan of God which encompasses both Jew and Greek – salvation for all who have faith in Him. Faith alone – naught of what we’ve done! This salvation through Jesus Christ, because of His propitiation for our sins – oh beautiful thought! And so I really can’t think of a more perfect combination of chapters than Ezekiel 22 and Romans 3-4…and God granted me such a gift by allowing me to read them this day. And so as my heart was lifted and my spirit enlivened and my soul strengthened from above, I drove off to work…and fortuitously enough, my current CD ended and I popped the next one in – which happened to be the Oh Hellos “Through the Deep Dark Valley”…very possibly my current favorite album and a masterpiece of emotion and grace and joy and light. And I had no doubt as I continued to be encouraged by their music as I drove through the slowly lightening Houston morning that God had given me yet another gift…listening to such sweet music that encourages me so. And now this rambling paragraph must draw to a close, I know this. And all these thoughts that I write – they are for my memory and for me to look back on in times of darkness and doubt…so that I will remember the things the Lord has done for me. So that I will see the many beautiful blessings of God that I have been given. I have been given much and thus do I love much. Be deeply encouraged this day, every one of you – rejoice in the knowledge of your salvation and dance in the light of the gospel of God. Peace and love.

Messiah

Good evening, my friends!

The light is slowly fading here in Houston and I say goodbye to a lovely Saturday. It’s been a grey day here…but somehow that accentuated the beauty all the more. Clouds scudding before the wind and autumnal leaves dancing across the city pavement and the kiss of the winter light upon the earth. And as I drove around this day, I couldn’t help but think of the God who made it all. And now I listen to Handel’s Messiah as I write this, firmly convinced it’s one of the greatest pieces of music ever composed. Surely it is my favorite piece, that I cannot deny. In a little bit, I’m going to start getting dinner ready…going to be a delicious vegetable and bean soup(carrots, celery, onion, tomatoes, beans, etc….), recipe graciously passed to me by Dad! A perfect warm meal for a winter evening. Maybe I’ll even write a bit of something? I can always hope! Peace, my dear friends.

Happy Tuesday

Sadly, my delicious chicken and spinach sandwiches got left in the fridge this morning, but fear not – I am having lunch! Just having subway for the second day in a row! Oops.

Anyways, just wanted to briefly write and say what a glorious weekend was had – spending time with Maryanne and Laura here in Scotland, yo! Pretty awesome, neh? So from hiking on coastal paths to drinking coffee together to hanging out with so many of my friends here…good times were had. And I am – as always – oh so thankful. Tomorrow – Ireland beckons!! And more adventures with Maryanne and Laura. Going to be epic, y’all.

And this morning as I was driving to work, I passed my favorite spot on the route and was stunned anew how fortunate I am to live where I do! Driving on the bridge across the River Dee and looking to my right to see the green hills rise up…looking quite like the Shire in all its beauty…and just grateful that I’m in a place right now where I feel so at home. Truly right now, this is the Shire to me. This is home. But new adventures await – and so soon I will be moving on. But I will never forget these years.

Dawn

I drove in to work and witnessed the cloud dappled eastern sky and the sun admist it, shining e’er brighter. And as the green of the fields warmed to a more perfect hue, I couldn’t help but marvel at the beauty.

And now I sit and enjoy my french vanilla infused coffee…and I sigh. Perfect peace, what a treasure this is.