Early I wake and slowly stumble out the door,
weary feet on battered pavement,
– sadly not batter for pancakes,
too early –
but what is that to me? I look up
with joy, almost hesitating – and see
the half moon shining brilliantly in the sky,
a witness towering in heavens far
to God who placed it there.
My heart is not worthy of such joy –
pain is far more apropos –
but worthiness is not why I rise each morn,
Abba Father
near to me
I cry.
Tag: writing
Dripping
Cold now I shiver,
work calls my name and I sip
peppermint mocha.
Upraised
A girl sits prettily on a bench,
dwelling on all that has come before,
and as she ponders
and she wonders
what all these tears
are truly worth,
so she wanders
down the lane of
fading memories,
sweet as honey-
and wistful sighs
the willow blossoms
that open yearning to the brilliant sun-
memories now fade,
the road goes on,
so she wanders
towards that true worth
for all these tears
now she wonders
and so she ponders,
heart a burning for what has come before.
And yea-
A girl sits upon a bench.
(Going to touch this up later…no time now -homeward bound. Pardon the rawness)
Hello Again
Happy Sunday friends! I post yet again this extremely fruitful January! I must say, I’m not quite sure why I’ve been writing so much lately…in the words of Lin Manuel Miranda…”Why do you write like you’re running out of time?” I know not. But I do like writing, and maybe lately I have rediscovered the pleasure and comfort it brings to put thoughts and emotions to page such as this. Not of course, that I put everything on here…far be that from me! But right now, it is comforting to let the words flow from thought through fingers to screen. Would that I could write something a bit more…beautiful. But for now, I shall simply write. Before I started this, I’ve been in a bit of a nostalgic mood…looking at some old high school friend’s journals – which are still online, shock! Hi Maggie!! *waves* Anyways, nostalgia diving can be dangerous – indeed, dark and full of terrors and all that. But this afternoon, while I have the bitter feeling of friendships lost and far away…I still have the sweet taste of the memories I had with these friends. And that is something I have been blessed with that shall never leave me. Ah bittersweet. And of course, I am reminded as I sit here that it is not entirely profitable to focus over much on the past. Let these thoughts and memories not drag me far away and distract my energies from life now, in the present. It is a dangerous game – to turn inward to the extent of losing our true joy. Now, I start to wax philosophical. See, this is why I should not write as much as I am – I dare expose my thoughts to the light of day, and what shall they say? That I am a hollow man, full of loose dreams and ill-begotten schemes? Even so. I long for the day when I shall be in that far country. No longer be a-ranging in a stranger land. And so, to dream is not so wrong. Only wrong is it when these dreams are forged of rotten beams – cloying words, sickly sweet in all their pomposity and self-important grandeur. Hiding behind a veil of false humility, oh forgive me!
But let us dream of purer things, of that road that goes ever on. The scent of jasmine, that light breeze upon the cheek. The song that rings true upon the soul, a knowledge of the veil now torn. To dream is not so wrong.
Hello Hurricane
A little more coffee sounds lovely, please.
Just tear yourself away from that book you’re reading
Give me another chance, darling, and just lean in,
And tell me, won’t you, that you love me, please?
Faithful
Hello friends, and happy Monday!! On this beautifully cold morning, I cannot help but rejoice!! It was (seriously!) 33 degrees this morning as I drove in to work. What is this wonderful cold weather doing here!? I have no idea, but I am so thankful to God for granting such a gorgeous weekend to me. A very proper last day in Houston, I do say. I get to enjoy my peppermint mocha and slowly warm up here in the office…this is simply fantastic. And yes, last day in Houston! Tonight I fly off Florida way for a week – hurrah! Of course, I’ll miss my friends here, but a week with the family will be oh so much enjoyed…of that I have no doubt.
And this past weekend has indeed been one in which I have been blessed by God exceedingly. As I have been praying to God for guidance in various matters, I have been reminded anew how blessed I have been here in Houston with the friends God has given me. Saturday night – was able to enjoy a fun and relaxing night over at Camille and Erin’s place with John – we had dinner and watched The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Then yesterday, after a sweet morning of worship at church, I went home and got a few things done…then went and picked up Julie for our Sunday movie adventure – LA LA Land. It was a simply lovely movie, bittersweet and tinged with nostalgia, yet currents of joy running throughout. I think I will buy this one when it comes out…that’s how much I enjoyed! It had lots of good music as well – that definitely didn’t hurt! Afterwards, Julie and I went out and got dinner and simply had a fantastic time talking and chatting about so so many things…this was our last time to hang out before I go to Florida tonight and she’s off to France tomorrow! So we made the most of it. Such a dear friend is she. And then I came home and me and John had some quality talking time. So encouraging is he!! I am oh so blessed to have him as a roommate. And then…I finished reading my book(Swiftly Tilting Planet – I have realised lately how influenced my writing has been by reading L’Engle’s works. My writing takes after hers more than I thought!!). My next book is going to be a re-read of Name of the Wind. It is time.
And now, I do write too much. One last day of furious work. Then…homeward bound.
Peace, my friends – peace and love.
Traveler
Grey skies and white flakes of snow and wind billowing in indifferent harmonies
Pole strikes upon the hard-packed snow and soon enough the heavens part
Blue dazzling, triumphant, brilliantly defiant
And the sky cavernous beckons.
a Mirror, Dimly
a maiden dares to veil her face, hidden now by shrouds of midnight blue silk and lace
and although the voluminous fabric hides her wide and darting eyes,
her sigh of wistfulness does not escape the notice of the one who soft approaches.
and though she steps delicately over the conduits of merchants mean and voracious, varied
and as she tiptoes past the worn and crumbling pillars of viaducts grand and tragic both,
her walk of longing unfulfilled is not hidden from the eyes which spy her now, he approaches.
and little pricks of starlight strewn in her silken hair do frame a face and form of beauty
yet her tears do hotly fall upon the earth, even as her hands softly brush the boughs of trees, eagerly.
and so as her face pales in no uncertain terms, he steps close and whispers, lo – he approaches.
Oh, my lady sweet and friend most dear, I have a jewel for thou to fix in thine raven hair. Yea, accept it, I pray!
But, oh, my lord – I must confess, I have already a jewel of mine own that in my hair I wear.
Yes, it is of luster dim and quickly fading and not by half as glorious as the one you bear.
But, oh, my lord – I must confess, it is precious to me. And I love it so, even so I dare, my lord.
My lady loved and friend most dear, that jewel of yours, does it not make thine heart sere, a leaf upon the wind.
I pray thee, take this rising sun, this gem of greatest price. To thee I offer, maiden fair. It is thine.
and so as he kneels before her upon the land, a blinding jewel of light and beauty in his hand,
he bows his head in quick anticipation and quivering does she take this jewel from him, exultation!
and oh she lifts the rich-wrought gem to her brow and though she cries, her song is one of beauty unrivaled.
oh the veil falls from her face, oh the light beams upon that maiden’s silk and lace
and although her eyes shimmer wetly with her tears, no longer do her eyes dart to and fro in fears,
her sigh of wistfulness now resolved, her heart swells in newest blissful song, eternity approaches.
Strange Seasons
Of courtship sweet, of tongues and eyes
and varied things
Of dancing feet, of sashes, skirts
and sundry things.
Of dancing eyes, of cups of coffee
that she brings.
What more can I say to her this night, I pray?
What more can be prayed by me this day, I say?
I say.
I say.
I pray.
I daresay.
Of life so sweet, of lips and songs
that she sings.
What more do I say?
I rejoice this night and laugh this day.
I dance upon the moor and I pray.
I pray.
Tears of Joy
Hello friends – and a happy Tuesday to you all!! I am going to write a quick update here before work begins…because this weekend has been quite a whirlwind, not at all the “free and relaxing” weekend I thought it was going to be! Well, it was a beautiful three day weekend but somehow I found a way to cram many many things into it. Hmm. Not one quiet night, what has become of me!!? Anyways! Friday night, had a fun time going to Torchy’s with Angela and John and having some good catch-up time with them(and delicious tacos, natch!) Saturday morning…somehow I got the brilliant idea that I needed to run since it’d been a while. So I got up uber early(to beat the heat, etc. Oh Houston) and ran my long run(10 mi). After I was halfway through, body was feeling great and so I was thinking I might push it to 13…but sadly my lack of hydration caught up with me about the 8 mile mark and so I most struggled those last couple miles. I decided not to be foolish and just finished my normal run. Anyway, once I hydrated, I felt great(albeit quite sore rest of day. And day after. And day after…) and I got to enjoy a nice coffee and reading morning at home. Eventually I went out, did various errands that needed doing(and buying books for people in Aberdeen, hurrah! I shall not name them here, just in case they’re reading this. Which is probably doubtful). Then I popped over to Starbucks for some online and writing time(which was very unsuccessful – I’m struggling with current story sadly). At this point, it was about 2pm and I realised I was very faint and dizzy and getting a headache. I wondered why. And then I remembered that I had sort of forgotten to eat anything all day. Even after my run. Oops? So I went to Trader Joe’s, got some hatch chile mac’n’cheese(which was quite good!) and then ate that at home while watching college football(which has returned! Houston beat Oklahoma and Texas A&M beat UCLA and Texas beat ND…so all is well in the state of Texas today).
And wow, this entry is a bit ridiculous – I am rambling overmuch and I would apologise, but I’m not done yet. I shall try to quicken the pace though, as I do need to start work soon. So where was I? Saturday? Oh yes. Right. So, after watching a bit of college football, I had plans with Jared to hang out and watch a movie at my place. Sadly, he had to cancel because of some family plans that came up…but since I have awesome friends that invited me to something else(thanks Lea and Marianna!), my evening did not go wasted. Went to the Miller Outdoor Theatre and enjoyed some quality baroque music and some even more quality conversation with the aforementioned Lea and Marianna. I got home at some point and promptly fell into bed. Sunday! Sunday was the day of days. Church(which was marvelous and encouraging and God exalting!), then missions prayer time, then had some good sushi with Jonathan and Julian for lunch. Afterwards when I was back at my place, invited Julie over for tea and reading time, but sadly(not really!) we got no reading done and just had a great time talking and talking and talking instead. She is such an encouraging and dear friend! After that…Jared came over and we had some dinner and watched the Texas-ND game(instead of movie, because who needs a movie when you have football?). And unsurprisingly, while we watched the game, the best part was just talking about life. And thus ended my Sunday, in which I got approximately one hour to myself. And I am not complaining one bit.
And…er, I really need to cut this off here, even though I haven’t even talked about yesterday(Labor Day) yet. Oh well – just know that it was good and God blessed. As always. I must simply praise my God for always blessing me oh so much. Of course, there are some parts of life that are sorrowful and so we must grieve. But when I am enjoying life, I must recognize that it is God my Father who has blessed me so – and I thank Him and Him alone.
This morning, I heartily enjoyed listening to my newest mix CD…it is maybe my best yet. It is all hymns(do not laugh!) and it is beautiful. It is very unoriginally entitled HymnSing and it contains pretty much all my favourite hymns. Singing them in the car this morning as I thought about the love of God…oh what tears, oh what joy. When someday God grants that I may return to Him(oh come that day!), I do hope that some of these songs are sung. Oh how wondrous it is, to think that the blood of Jesus has paid for all my sins. That is my theme, my song. I will at some point post the track-list, but now I shall simply end this very very long entry(my apologies, dear friends) and leave you with this…
Soul, then know thy full salvation
Rise o’er sin and fear and care
Joy to find in every station,
Something still to do or bear.
Think what Spirit dwells within thee,
Think what Father’s smiles are thine,
Think that Jesus died to win thee,
Child of heaven, canst thou repine?
