See back and forth swings this pendulum above this weary earth. I wish that I could write now of all the things I’ve dreamed yet for some reason – as seems common to most – my dreams are so hazy now that to write them would be fun for only one person – me. I see them still with my inner eye yet to put them to paper would just bore my readers. Is that not true? How often have you told your dream to friends and been oh so excited to share the mystical reality of your sleep state and yet their eyes glaze over for…well, for some reason dreams lose the power in the telling for the majority of their power is in the gauzy visuals which cannot easily be communicated in words. Most dreams, of course. Sometimes though, a dream is vivid enough and one’s command of language is enough to communicate in entirety the luscious richness of the realities of your mind as it trawls the depths of deep subconscious. This is rare though. I have never quite accomplished it, as much as I wish I could. Speaking of dreams. I oft wonder why it is that we so often dream the same dream again and again. Do we all have a dream unique to us yet somehow we are dense enough it must be repeated? Or is that just me? Or another question. Do you have a dream you remember from childhood, one that happened again and again and yet at some point it stopped and you now feel its absence and it makes you weep for nostalgic loss. Our minds are odd to be sure.
I remember a dream of long ago and though I can’t recall having it in oh so many years, its tracing is still fresh and I still feel the rhythm of its lilt in my mind. I am afraid to try and type the bones of this dream here for I fear it will dry up its verdant wonder, yet I will at least say a few words. This dream that haunted my childhood is one of beauty and motion, adventure and gratitude. Gratitude? Why do I use that word. It springs to my mind when I recall this dream, yet I do not know why. The dream itself is tinged in yellow. Yellow grass, the trees on the leaves tend towards yellow and even the air has a golden tint. The path that lies before me is of course made of dirt that seems less brown and more yellow. But though the predominant color of this dream is determined, the destination is not. In the dream my body is less a body and more a disembodied soul. I rush forward quickly and effortlessly, bouncing. There is such a feeling of bouncing and swaying and unstoppable forward momentum. Ever onward I go, along this path, seeing the yellowed grass bend and sway to my side as the trees laugh in my face as I cruise past. I cannot stop even if I wanted to. Onwards I go. I mentioned the leaves, I will mention again. They are yellow but not just a mass of yellow on the tree. Each leaf leaps forward distinctly, the veins bright brown atop the yellow backdrop. I see the leaves vividly even as I soar past. I suppose I don’t have legs, though if I do they must possess marvelous springs for I do bounce wonderfully. Ever on I go through this yellowed wood. There is perhaps a cabin ahead? At least that is the faint thought in my mind as I rush through this forest, but I do not see the cabin. I do hear the stream nearby and now and again catch a flash that must be the sun off the water. The sun’s light is yellow which I feel I must mention because it fits the theme, yet I cannot in honesty say I noticed the sun in this dream. I only look straight in front of me, all else is peripheral. Onward I go. Why is the light so yellow, why is the air so silent? It is a beautiful dream and though I cannot quite tell you why, I can in confidence say that. It is a beautiful dream.
I do not think I have quite captured the beauty of this dream, which hopefully my hints early on in this essay prepared you for. Alas. I suppose I have only my own lacking literary talent to blame. But I am also secretly happy – selfishly so, of course. This dream will forever be mine. It will not be shared and so diluted. The nostalgic spark that flares within me shall not die. I feel joy as I roll this dream around inside my head. But oh! How I wish I could share the beauty now. Beauty unshared tends to turn a little cold, does it not? I have changed my mind. I wish you could see what I see. I wish you could feel what I feel. I wish the truths that spring to my mind unbidden could also flame into life in your very soul. Maybe that is possible. Maybe you will also dream of spring. Tell me if you do. Or if your mind seems to be too much dry tinder and not enough bright fire, tell me that too. We must meet up over a coffee and discuss. We shall discuss the dying thoughts of winter and the yearnings of the west they stir up. And then yes. We shall talk of spring.
Tag: poetry
Long Time Coming
to dwell on dreams of heaven
doesn’t mean that i don’t
care about the air of earth
i do i swear
yet these chains
chafe fiercely
i cry out for a little more water
and shade my eyes
light light unyielding
i submit to that which i confess
in flowering agony
take the cup and plumb its depths
i will drink it!
Inheritance
tip tap the bird sits upon
the window ledge
and see how the oak leaves
flutter down
upon the yellowed grass
oh has it come to this
though the newspapers weep
i now see that the season
has come
autumn at long last
summer falls streaming on
my uplifted face
for even now my heart races
in the grand consummation
of even the dance of ages
for it has now come to past
that the invitation upon the table
has not been for nothing
no no says she look at the signature
and the wax still dripping
and see out the window the carriage
it is here it is here
far sooner than i could have imagined
far later than i long have wished
these groaning bones have no complaint
no longer
the grass so green under my feet offers a lullaby
and i see the vines leap upwards the strong wrought seaside tower
tick tock sea spray falls
Bricks and Ivy
rain drip drips down from heaven
and she shudders
pulls her collar up
in the unexpected cold
yet her thoughts dwell on abiding joy
for as expectant darkness hovers
the morning birds their songs sing
even in the damp
on gallops spring!
Delighted To Be Sure
she deflected my question
as she leaned back against
the old antique stove
and asked if i wanted a cup of tea
what could i reply to that
but sure
and then as she busied herself with the kettle
i turned back to the table and cut a couple pieces of cake
one for me
and one for her
so now when she handed me the steaming mug of chamomile
i was armed and gave her what she’d had her eyes on
this whole entire time
the chocolate chocolate cheesecake that was her greatest dream
and as her eyes widened in that characteristic joy
i grabbed my mug and sipped and almost burnt my tongue
yet it was worth it without question
to see that smile that never fails
to outshine the sun
Louisa
lightly she galloped up the mountain
her feet barely touching the rich green grass
instead she soared and leaped and yes
even flew
as her eyes focused on the still higher
quickly moving stream
for if she dared to cross it
and win the alpine meadow for her own
there’d plenty of wildflowers to pick and treasure
perhaps even a wild mountain rose
and then when she had a full and hearty bouquet
then she would be happy to descend at pace slightly
more leisurely
but wonder do you what she did when all a sudden
clouds sprang upon the scene
and thunder bellowed and lightning struck
and rain soaked her head to toe
perhaps her fortitude would be sorely tested
and her spirit promptly damped
but instead her eyes shone all the greater
and still up the mountain she danced
for a little rain was not enough to thwart her
and into the teeth of the storm she laughed!
and soon enough the clouds gave up the onslaught
and the drenched young maiden continued on
her hair wet and dripping down her back
but who cares for that when again
shone the sun!
and finally near dry she crossed the little streamlet
and let her feet feel all nice and cool
but not to be too distracted
she kept her gaze pointed at the wind tossed rainbow hue
her flowers were here and hers alone and enough for an armful
and many more to spare
oh but what is that whistle that sounds from the hut on the horizon
is it another little girl now coming out to play?
perhaps they can gather flowers now together
and sing and dance and laugh and pray
and then a hearty supper of stew and boiled potatoes
and lots of berries black and sweet
for though flowers are nice to look at and truly very lovely
a bouquet is not at all for one to eat!
so now the maidens tired at last from all their toils
sit around a little fire and look at their flowers dear
and eat their fill and a little more still
and whisper of things they fear
for the night has come and dark has fallen
and ghost stories are fun to share
yet the girls hearts are full
and their feet are warm
and they have flowers in their hair.
Fountains
once upon a time in a world not so different from our own
spoke a man to a woman of truths of things unseen
and though for a moment she hesitated wondering if perhaps
he spoke in a way that seemed insane
instead she listened for a moment more
and in that moment for eternity
her life was changed
so why now would we not think more deeply
on the myth that just might be true
and consider what it means
to believe in the one
who died and rose
and even now stretches out a hand
to you
Banquet
pay closer attention to these things your ears have heard
rest your eyes upon these green and lush pasturelands
through the gate which before you rises
enter in for your salvation!
for chief is this cornerstone
this festal sacrifice upon the altar laid
light of the world in whom we have true and perfect rest
oh blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!
do not drift away from our solemn and most sacred faith
feast on sweeter meats that are passed down the table
and rest your soul upon this precious faith of which
author and perfecter is
our good shepherd
Jesus
Wildflowers
i yawn as the early light tiptoes through the blinds
breakfast is really simple today she says
and that’s exactly what i’m in the mood for
scrambled eggs and toast with avocado spread
later as i sip my black coffee i say
these quiet springtime mornings
are my fav
Silverlight
the ever changing rivers flow westwards
emptying in the ever changing sea
and in a moment as I kneel above
i think of the differences between
you and me
and it is comforting to know that though
even though for peace i unceasingly strive
my mind is manic and not a bit static
much as the water falls from the mountains high
and crashes down below on rocks unyielding
the wet spray reaching even to my wet eyes
so too recognize the fact most strange
though i recognize my chaotic nature
that you yourself do not cannot change
this wonderous eternal truth blossoms full
your very divine immutability
and so i take a breath and sigh
and look out over the waves that dance in the sea
for indeed in gratitude i have no other choice
in you unshaking
still sorrowing yet
i rejoice