Burning star and singing pain,
Caught in tempests, lost in rain.
Lifting up a weary hand,
Finding not the long sought land.
Swords of furies, eyes of rage,
Bloody steel and war torn age.
Lifting up a dying friend,
Finding now the final end.
Tear soaked face and keening cry
Bound in iron, lost the sky.
Lifting up a hopeless gaze,
Finding not the sun’s warm rays.
Pits of corpses, graves of doom,
Rotting souls and song-less tomb
Lifting up a wordless plea,
Finding now he cannot see.
And seeing not,
he feels a hand,
warmth of sunshine
embrace of wind,
kiss of starlight,
songs of glory,
weight of crowns.
‘Open your eyes,’
And he is home.
Tag: poetry
Green olive tree
The wanderer turns his head
and sighs
at the beauty of the skies.
A grasp of moonlight
beckons in
from blushing day
to richer night
ever purer
ever light.
A path of moonlight
beckons on
from softer black
to deeper blue
ever honeyed
ever true.
A laugh of moonlight
beckons up
from colder earth
to star strewn sight
ever blissful
ever right.
The wanderer turns his head
and cries
at the witness of the skies.
Still more
I wish
I knew
what joy
tasted like.
I think it would
have hints of
chocolate and
peppermint
swirls,
with maybe
a dollop
of raspberry cream.
Nevertheless,
joy is
on my tongue
and
hope is
on my lips
and
love is
on my brow
and
wonder
abounds.
A glimmer, nay, a star
And you were dead in your trespasses
and sins, in which you
formerly walked according to the
course of this world, according to the
prince of the power of the air, of the
spirit that is now working in the sons
of disobedience. Among them we too
all formerly lived in the lusts of our
flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh
and of the mind, and were by nature
children of wrath, even as the rest.
But God, being rich in mercy, because
of His great love with which He
loved us, even when we were dead
in our transgressions, made us alive
together with Christ(by grace you have
been saved), and raised us up with
Him, and seated us with Him in the
heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so
that in the ages to come He might show
the surpassing riches of His grace in
kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.
-Ephesians 2:1-7
I was going to end that sooner, but two things prevented me. Firstly, it’s just so beautiful I couldn’t find a good stopping place…and secondly, because the sentence itself didn’t stop. Oh Pauline sentences, how I love thee.
Seriously, such a gorgeous passage, is it not? And two of the most amazing and heart-stopping and enlivening and lovely and starkly beautiful words of all time…”But God.” And hope bursts into glorious bloom, life eternal. This passage is one of my favorites, so I don’t know why I’m trying to unnecessarily validate these verses with my pitiful words, but I just can’t help marveling at the amazingness of God’s most gracious love and compassion towards such desperately wicked men and women…oh what a joy that springs from my heart, abounding towards the God whose love abounds still more! And I think this passage may (subconsciously) be the pattern towards which all my gasps of poetry tend to slip into –
darkness, expanding and vicious and cold blackness and
the depths of deepest despair and when all is lost and
man is
lost in a storm of whirling shadows and
torn in pieces by the knife that was his own and
rotting in the grave so eagerly dug and
drinking the depths of the debt that is owed and
wavering in glazed reality and
on his knees in hopeless emptiness and
on his face in stark weariness and
letting go of the last that could be done and then
light.
Light forever.
Glorious Almighty God.
Light and love and God Himself,
the pinnacle of infinity that the universe strains to grasp.
Oh glorious Lord!
And overwhelmed in joy and overcome by love
and soaking in the blood of the Lamb that was slain,
she is
dancing in the spotless grace,
singing in the newborn praise,
seeing with adoring gaze,
feeling the more perfect rays,
and now she quivers and says,
Oh I love how can I not?
When by His blood I am bought?
He loved me first,
oh those glorious words,
He loves me!
…and that’s what happens when I let my mind stray and wander and ponder the incomprehensible fact that…the Almighty God of the Universe loved me. How else can I respond but by saying…’Oh I love how can I not?’ I love my Father so. Oh I love Him!!!! If my tears could but grace His feet, I would weep for being so close to Him…my Lord and my God, I love Him so!!!!
Threads of gold, falling silver
Alright y’all, wasn’t originally planning to write an entry today…but why not? It’s a lovely Sunday afternoon and I am dutifully(and by dutifully I mean JOYFULLY!) resting in Starbucks sipping my peppermint mocha. I want to write something…so yeah. We’ll see what I’m feeling…
For a trumpet’s song,
for a banner’s call
we’d give our fortunes,
we’d forfeit our all.
For a twice-sold birthright,
a third-born son,
we’d shake with laughter
until summer’s done.
For a sweet-tongued lass,
adorned in lace,
we’d divide our portion,
forget our face.
Merry we make, peace we buy
Dregs we drink, life we cry!
Falling upon the swords of our fathers
and born upon the waves of our daughters
we bless the cries of our heart
we curse the tears of our soul
and we fail to realize
we are already dead.
Cloaked in justice,
robed in love
bearing truth and
gifting peace
wielding a rod
of iron
and double edged
sword
in the crown
of a king
in the raiment
of a lord
with eyes of flame
and upon
the face
a tear.
And
we sneer.
Destiny is to be grasped,
and fate is to be sown
our hearts and our souls
our lives, our own!
The goblet full,
the land groans,
the pot a boil,
and we drink.
Don’t have time to tighten it up…enjoy?
September 6th, 2010
Well, I was going to say it was a gorgeous day here…but then a hurricane sort of decided to visit my neighborhood. Ok so it’s not a hurricane, but the rain and wind are going crazy outside!! And I swear there was sunshine and blue skies not ten minutes ago. Oh Houston, how I will miss you…
And you may wonder what I’m doing writing a journal entry on a Monday morning? Well, it so happens to be Labour Day here!! And thus, I got to sleep in a bit(’til 9, woo!) and then make a nice pot of coffee and read to my heart’s content. And then I decided it was a perfect time for a wee update, no? And especially because I won’t get to do that many more updates in the States. Because LESS THAN A WEEK FROM NOW I will be in Scotland. Yeah. This Saturday, flying on a jet plane! First to Amsterdam(9 hour flight. Yay?), and then a short hop to Aberdeen. And the adventure will begin.
Hey, and now the rain’s gone! Fickle Houston weather.
Ahh, I still can’t believe I’m about to leave Houston, for what could be a long time! Of course, I could be right back here next year, but that is still undecided. *gets up to refill coffee mug* …and that’s better! Shout-out to Deanna for this delightful Hungarian mug! I do like sweet coffee mugs, and this one definitely qualifies!
Well now, what else can I update y’all on? I’m still trying to dance around the fact that I’m leaving soon…so I don’t have to think of leaving everyone behind. On Saturday, I passed the keys of my car on to Adam. Farewell, Aeryn! You served me well! Sort of. And yesterday, I spent much time packing, trying to figure out what I need to take to Scotland. I have to say, it is sort of annoying having to pack for Scotland because cold-weather clothes take up MUCH more room than warm-weather clothes. But I have no doubt I would sorely regret not packing all my sweaters…so I’m just not going to have much room for any books. Ah well. Only two suitcases for six months! Sound good?
And oh gosh, the rain is coming down hard again. Hurray? Oh wait, I lied. Now it is sunny again. Houston, stop being weather-schizo!
Oh also yesterday, had a lovely time at church…my last time there. For a while, at least. Saying goodbye to so many people…worshiping mightily in the LORD…loving my brothers and sisters…and being loved…I don’t think I can really describe my feelings except to say something I’ve said far too much…I am overwhelmed by the goodness of the LORD.
Dancing in the new born sun,
turning my head to the height
of the sky bannered in joy
striated in crimson delight.
Looking to the stars on high
turning my head to the ground
losing my hopes and my dreams
to the ecstasy of being found.
Kneeling in the rain-soaked field,
lifting my tear streaked face
to the one who loved me
to the one who loves me
And now I am
Rejoicing in the infinite
turning my head to glory
Dancing
Singing
Loving
Being loved.
Standing upon the ramparts
turning my head to the one
who makes me tremble anew
in purest
adoration.
And that’s enough emotional profusion for the day. I love y’all.
Cobblestones and willow trees,
Cavalcades of weeping girls,
Confluence of destinies,
Why do we cry?
Bondage of the desperate will,
Billing of the requiem,
Bonnie lake and window sill,
Why do we try?
Chimney sweeps and waterfalls,
Caravans of jealous eyes,
Cryogenic lovelorn calls,
Why do we sigh?
One last whisper, one last tear,
One last heart upon your spear,
One last wed of black and white
One last whimper, one last night.
No more anguish, no more pain,
No more crying in the rain,
No more living in the wrong,
No more dying, no false song.
Only truth and only love,
Only throne on skies above,
Only foot on holy ground,
Only life and only crowned.
Maple leaf and balcony,
Ministries of lovesick eyes,
Mirror of lucidity,
Glory we cry!
I climbed the golden ladder,
and swam the silver streams,
and kissed the lovely adder
who promised all my dreams.
And while I dream in technicolor
but live in black and white
I fear my past is shaded duller
in the fires of the night.
And the fire whispered to me
and the darkness gripped my hand,
I tried to cry for mercy
but my lips tasted only sand.
And so the dunes embalmed my heart
and the vultures picked my soul.
And yet
He wept
at the
touch of
death on
fallen
man.
And yet
I wept
to know
the touch
of the
living
God.
And yet.
We would be as gods,
knowing good and
knowing evil,
shaping and forging
the fates of our
infinity.
Only we forget
there is only
one God, one LORD.
We are as nothing.
An empty jar.
A broken soul.
We should be as dust.
Well, it’s been a long Saturday(but a good one!!) and I am now quite exhausted…but I figure it’s been too long since I’ve written a decent update. All my latest ones have been under 100 words! Terrible! So I’ve decided it’s time for a proper multi-page entry…so buckle your seatbelts, boys and girls…it’s time to rock and roll.
By update, I really mean I’ve had lots of random thoughts and I keep meaning to put them to paper yet I almost always have my best thoughts in the car where it’s quite impossible to write anything. Although I have been known to scribble in my notebook at stoplights…hmm, let’s keep that under wraps, shall we? But seriously, why do my best(and strangest) ideas come when I’m driving? Most annoying.
Anyway, something I realize anew almost every morning is the grandeur and might and beauty of God…as I watch the sun rise over Houston. I’m so very blessed in that I drive east on the interstate to get to work, and thus as soon as I get on the on-ramp, I’m struck full in the face with the sun striding up through the clouds…sometimes in a sky clear as crystal, other times(most times!) in a sky where the clouds diffract the light into a spectrum of gorgeousness. And as I see the light wash over the cars rushing off to work and money and ambition and power…and as I see the rays strike the skyscrapers so suddenly diminished in comparison to the massive clouds of brilliance overwhelming all Houston has to offer…I feel conflicting emotions of utter joy and deepest sadness. Joy to see the works of the LORD arrayed in the heavens. Sadness because so few see it so. How can everyone else driving to work not see the Hand of the Almighty????
And now pause for a piano interlude.
Because no, this party isn’t over yet! Consider the previous as Musings, Pt. 1. Part 2 will follow shortly, but before I dive into the scary contents of my thoughts, I thought I’d give you all a chance to catch your breath. Seriously, all you who read everything I write get mad props, because I don’t even fully grasp all that I’m writing! My thoughts(and everyone’s, I’ll wager) seem to be a interweaving of multicoloured threads…and to follow one thread to completion would be a marvel. But, enough on that tangent. Have I lost everyone yet? Ok, good.
Another thing I think about enough on my drive to work is the power and danger and beauty and poison and utter mystery that is music. I hinted at this subject in my last post, but as I didn’t have enough time to explain myself, I kept it vague. But now my time is unlimited and my fingers are spry and I’m ready to drown you all in a flood of words. Gosh, I really am getting long-winded in my old age.
But, music. One of the craziest and most beautiful of the creative gift our Father’s bestowed upon us. Driving off to work, I tend to play my favorite “pump-up” music to get my mind in gear for the work day…and one of the albums I’ve been playing a lot lately is one by Sonata Arctica. The album(“Reckoning Night”) is a work of pure genius. Remember that top five album thing I did a few months back? Well, if I repeated it now, I’m pretty sure this album would take at least the 3rd spot, if not higher. For me, the album’s melodies and rhythms and crazy awesome guitar and haunting piano and intermingling of raw emotion throughout struck me deeply. The songs range from heartrendingly sad to breathtakingly furious and they strike a chord in my soul. And why have I practically written a review of this album? Precisely because it echoes so well what I feel music does for everyone. I doubt everyone will feel the same I do about this album(and please don’t think I’ve fallen in love or pledged my life to these songs!), but haven’t you ever felt the emotions whirling within you when you heard your favorite album, or band, or song? Haven’t you ever felt like the song matches your deepest desires and feelings that you didn’t even know you had? Haven’t you felt like the music opened up a mirror in which you were looking at yourself? And this is why music is so beautiful and yet so dangerous. It opens us up to ourselves. And we are dangerous indeed.
Music opens up ourselves and gives the key of our emotions to the stereo. It releases our cries of longing and pleads of love into the open. The intellectual is subdued before the power of the emotional. At our depths, we are people who want to be loved. Who want to be wanted. Who want to be known. And our soul screams for meaning and begs for fulfillment. And in music, there is that faintest echo.
And I don’t want you all to think I’m decrying music as the work of the devil! Indeed, I love music(and will continue to!), but music is not the answer. It’s a thing of beauty that our most glorious Father has given to us! But it is not the balm that will heal our souls. It is not the jewel of great price. It is not the answer to our heart’s pain. But there is One who is.
And that’s all for tonight, folks. Enjoy the epicness of this post. And if anyone read all that, they get TWO cookies. That’s right. Enjoy the beauty of the night!! …and this little present for anyone who made it this far:
The orange disc slid across
the curve of the
early morning sky.
The traveler’s mouth dropped
open in awe,
so shattering was the
beauty of the sun
in the soft gray sky.
It seemed as if a
smear of purest light had
been dropped on a
dirty canvas.
Something Weird 