Tag: poem

Örökké és mindig

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Late getting home from work and dinner calls my name(leftover Pizza Hut, yes!)…but briefly, have to express my sadness that Steven and Anna are both now gone from Aberdeen. Steven left last Friday(but I’ll see him in August in Germany!!) and Anna this evening…and I don’t know when I’ll see her again. Next year Hungary holiday? Um, yes!

But regardless of my silly feelings of loss and sadness…I must just rejoice in our great God in giving me such friends as these. Oh how blessed am I! Hung out with Anna and her sisters last night at my place, and though I(yet again!) got no sleep, it was oh so worth it! From playing random Magyar songs to playing card games(where the power of sisters forced me to admit defeat in every game I played. Hmph) to taking far too many pictures to laughing even more than talking…to driving one last time downtown with Anna…to simply glorying in one last time of awesomeness.

And now that I let my veil of denial down and admit that Steven and Anna are actually gone, I can embrace my sadness with tears of love. My love is with you, Anna, Steven. Always.

And…random poetry snippet just because I feel like it.

To see the stars,
I reach a little higher,
I drown in song.

Tears from love,
tears from joy,
all for unrequited glory
all for long forgotten story
all for the love of a Potter
all for the love of a King.

To see the stars,
I kneel a little lower,
I drown in love.

Shattered Gates of Bronze

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Burning star and singing pain,
Caught in tempests, lost in rain.
Lifting up a weary hand,
Finding not the long sought land.

Swords of furies, eyes of rage,
Bloody steel and war torn age.
Lifting up a dying friend,
Finding now the final end.

Tear soaked face and keening cry
Bound in iron, lost the sky.
Lifting up a hopeless gaze,
Finding not the sun’s warm rays.

Pits of corpses, graves of doom,
Rotting souls and song-less tomb
Lifting up a wordless plea,
Finding now he cannot see.

And seeing not,
he feels a hand,
warmth of sunshine
embrace of wind,
kiss of starlight,
songs of glory,
weight of crowns.
‘Open your eyes,’
And he is home.

Green olive tree

James HoganLeave a comment

The wanderer turns his head
and sighs
at the beauty of the skies.

A grasp of moonlight
beckons in
from blushing day
to richer night
ever purer
ever light.

A path of moonlight
beckons on
from softer black
to deeper blue
ever honeyed
ever true.

A laugh of moonlight
beckons up
from colder earth
to star strewn sight
ever blissful
ever right.

The wanderer turns his head
and cries
at the witness of the skies.

A glimmer, nay, a star

James HoganLeave a comment

And you were dead in your trespasses
and sins, in which you
formerly walked according to the
course of this world, according to the
prince of the power of the air, of the
spirit that is now working in the sons
of disobedience. Among them we too
all formerly lived in the lusts of our
flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh
and of the mind, and were by nature
children of wrath, even as the rest.
But God, being rich in mercy, because
of His great love with which He
loved us, even when we were dead
in our transgressions, made us alive
together with Christ(by grace you have
been saved), and raised us up with
Him, and seated us with Him in the
heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so
that in the ages to come He might show
the surpassing riches of His grace in
kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.
-Ephesians 2:1-7

I was going to end that sooner, but two things prevented me. Firstly, it’s just so beautiful I couldn’t find a good stopping place…and secondly, because the sentence itself didn’t stop. Oh Pauline sentences, how I love thee.

Seriously, such a gorgeous passage, is it not? And two of the most amazing and heart-stopping and enlivening and lovely and starkly beautiful words of all time…”But God.” And hope bursts into glorious bloom, life eternal. This passage is one of my favorites, so I don’t know why I’m trying to unnecessarily validate these verses with my pitiful words, but I just can’t help marveling at the amazingness of God’s most gracious love and compassion towards such desperately wicked men and women…oh what a joy that springs from my heart, abounding towards the God whose love abounds still more! And I think this passage may (subconsciously) be the pattern towards which all my gasps of poetry tend to slip into –

darkness, expanding and vicious and cold blackness and
the depths of deepest despair and when all is lost and
man is
lost in a storm of whirling shadows and
torn in pieces by the knife that was his own and
rotting in the grave so eagerly dug and
drinking the depths of the debt that is owed and
wavering in glazed reality and
on his knees in hopeless emptiness and
on his face in stark weariness and
letting go of the last that could be done and then
light.
Light forever.
Glorious Almighty God.
Light and love and God Himself,
the pinnacle of infinity that the universe strains to grasp.
Oh glorious Lord!
And overwhelmed in joy and overcome by love
and soaking in the blood of the Lamb that was slain,
she is
dancing in the spotless grace,
singing in the newborn praise,
seeing with adoring gaze,
feeling the more perfect rays,
and now she quivers and says,
Oh I love how can I not?
When by His blood I am bought?
He loved me first,
oh those glorious words,
He loves me!

…and that’s what happens when I let my mind stray and wander and ponder the incomprehensible fact that…the Almighty God of the Universe loved me. How else can I respond but by saying…’Oh I love how can I not?’ I love my Father so. Oh I love Him!!!! If my tears could but grace His feet, I would weep for being so close to Him…my Lord and my God, I love Him so!!!!

Threads of gold, falling silver

James HoganLeave a comment

Alright y’all, wasn’t originally planning to write an entry today…but why not? It’s a lovely Sunday afternoon and I am dutifully(and by dutifully I mean JOYFULLY!) resting in Starbucks sipping my peppermint mocha. I want to write something…so yeah. We’ll see what I’m feeling…



For a trumpet’s song,
for a banner’s call
we’d give our fortunes,
we’d forfeit our all.

For a twice-sold birthright,
a third-born son,
we’d shake with laughter
until summer’s done.

For a sweet-tongued lass,
adorned in lace,
we’d divide our portion,
forget our face.

Merry we make, peace we buy
Dregs we drink, life we cry!

Falling upon the swords of our fathers
and born upon the waves of our daughters
we bless the cries of our heart
we curse the tears of our soul
and we fail to realize
we are already dead.

Cloaked in justice,
robed in love
bearing truth and
gifting peace
wielding a rod
of iron
and double edged
sword
in the crown
of a king
in the raiment
of a lord
with eyes of flame
and upon
the face
a tear.

And
we sneer.

Destiny is to be grasped,
and fate is to be sown
our hearts and our souls
our lives, our own!

The goblet full,
the land groans,
the pot a boil,
and we drink.

Don’t have time to tighten it up…enjoy?

September 6th, 2010

James HoganLeave a comment

Well, I was going to say it was a gorgeous day here…but then a hurricane sort of decided to visit my neighborhood. Ok so it’s not a hurricane, but the rain and wind are going crazy outside!! And I swear there was sunshine and blue skies not ten minutes ago. Oh Houston, how I will miss you…

And you may wonder what I’m doing writing a journal entry on a Monday morning? Well, it so happens to be Labour Day here!! And thus, I got to sleep in a bit(’til 9, woo!) and then make a nice pot of coffee and read to my heart’s content. And then I decided it was a perfect time for a wee update, no? And especially because I won’t get to do that many more updates in the States. Because LESS THAN A WEEK FROM NOW I will be in Scotland. Yeah. This Saturday, flying on a jet plane! First to Amsterdam(9 hour flight. Yay?), and then a short hop to Aberdeen. And the adventure will begin.

Hey, and now the rain’s gone! Fickle Houston weather.

Ahh, I still can’t believe I’m about to leave Houston, for what could be a long time! Of course, I could be right back here next year, but that is still undecided. *gets up to refill coffee mug* …and that’s better! Shout-out to Deanna for this delightful Hungarian mug! I do like sweet coffee mugs, and this one definitely qualifies!

Well now, what else can I update y’all on? I’m still trying to dance around the fact that I’m leaving soon…so I don’t have to think of leaving everyone behind. On Saturday, I passed the keys of my car on to Adam. Farewell, Aeryn! You served me well! Sort of. And yesterday, I spent much time packing, trying to figure out what I need to take to Scotland. I have to say, it is sort of annoying having to pack for Scotland because cold-weather clothes take up MUCH more room than warm-weather clothes. But I have no doubt I would sorely regret not packing all my sweaters…so I’m just not going to have much room for any books. Ah well. Only two suitcases for six months! Sound good?

And oh gosh, the rain is coming down hard again. Hurray? Oh wait, I lied. Now it is sunny again. Houston, stop being weather-schizo!

Oh also yesterday, had a lovely time at church…my last time there. For a while, at least. Saying goodbye to so many people…worshiping mightily in the LORD…loving my brothers and sisters…and being loved…I don’t think I can really describe my feelings except to say something I’ve said far too much…I am overwhelmed by the goodness of the LORD.


Dancing in the new born sun,
turning my head to the height
of the sky bannered in joy
striated in crimson delight.

Looking to the stars on high
turning my head to the ground
losing my hopes and my dreams
to the ecstasy of being found.

Kneeling in the rain-soaked field,
lifting my tear streaked face
to the one who loved me
to the one who loves me

And now I am

Rejoicing in the infinite
turning my head to glory
Dancing
Singing
Loving
Being loved.

Standing upon the ramparts
turning my head to the one
who makes me tremble anew
in purest
adoration.

And that’s enough emotional profusion for the day. I love y’all.

James HoganLeave a comment

Cobblestones and willow trees,
Cavalcades of weeping girls,
Confluence of destinies,
Why do we cry?

Bondage of the desperate will,
Billing of the requiem,
Bonnie lake and window sill,
Why do we try?

Chimney sweeps and waterfalls,
Caravans of jealous eyes,
Cryogenic lovelorn calls,
Why do we sigh?

One last whisper, one last tear,
One last heart upon your spear,
One last wed of black and white
One last whimper, one last night.

No more anguish, no more pain,
No more crying in the rain,
No more living in the wrong,
No more dying, no false song.

Only truth and only love,
Only throne on skies above,
Only foot on holy ground,
Only life and only crowned.


Maple leaf and balcony,
Ministries of lovesick eyes,
Mirror of lucidity,
Glory we cry!

James HoganLeave a comment

I climbed the golden ladder,
and swam the silver streams,
and kissed the lovely adder
who promised all my dreams.

And while I dream in technicolor
but live in black and white
I fear my past is shaded duller
in the fires of the night.

And the fire whispered to me
and the darkness gripped my hand,
I tried to cry for mercy
but my lips tasted only sand.

And so the dunes embalmed my heart
and the vultures picked my soul.

And yet
He wept
at the
touch of
death on
fallen
man.

And yet
I wept
to know
the touch
of the
living
God.

And yet.