Tag: meditation

Oh how Wonderful

James HoganLeave a comment

On this day I sit and think and ponder on all the fingers that point at me and signal with their urgency – it is you! And thus do I walk forward now on this path and as the relaxed posture of the flowers show, it is hot outside and so it is not surprising that a drop or two of sweat slowly slides down my brow. To return to the theme, perhaps I am a bit too self centered in my musings so I consider that all I see is concerned with me when in reality I know that this cannot be. For true, if I were the center of this world’s play then would not I perhaps inhabit a more prominent role? Or am I just doomed to be the bit character, the one with a single line in the third act that perhaps isn’t even heard over the shrill whistling of the birds perched overhead on the balcony. Perhaps so. Yet if I have a line and if this line must be said, should I not practice the all important art of elocution to ensure that at least there is a chance the few words I have fall gracefully upon the ears of those still perked towards the stage? That is my attitude and hopefully it is not arrogant to assume such, especially if I have manfully resigned the expectation that the central part is mine. In fact it never was. Grateful for that I am for it means I can rest in the shadow of another.

In fact all my hope for a better life lies not in what I can do for myself for all my own strivings show is – in proven fact – how inept I am at bettering myself in the attributes that have that certain something – oh you know what I mean – that aspect of the infinite, that piercing rhythm of eternity. So my ineptitude points to the fact that I cannot in and of myself contribute anything of lasting value to the novel whose pages so rapidly are flicking flicking towards its close. But why yet does my finite sluggish mind grasp so much for the beauty that it cannot in itself define? If I cannot so define, how do I know that there is such a possibility? This concept has stubbornly embedded itself in my mind and perhaps is an original feature of my soul, that idea that the infinite exists and that it is beautiful beyond compare. Where is this treasure, where is this pearl of great price? Perhaps oh if the infinite would bend down and say a word or two to give me that glimpse for which my soul longs. Oh for this word to come down and in itself give me such life that in comparison to it all else is merely grinning death. Oh for this word to stretch forth a hand and say that which my soul aches to hear. Where is this treasure, where this pearl of great price? Perhaps it truly is found in that song of grace and truth which I so casually dismissed so long ago. Perhaps it truly is found in that old worn story that says that man or god or perhaps both came to bring peace to earth. Where is this treasure, this pearl of great price? I shiver as I say aloud that name that rings redemption in divine majesty. I weep as I sit at the foot of the cross and ponder he who is called Jesus Christ.

Light and Life

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I have many thoughts swirling around my mind. Whether they are particularly good or inspired ones is a question for another day. But for the now, I’m grateful for a cosy home and a warm hoodie and a couch that is far more comfortable than it has any right to be. Many other things I can name in this space that deserve the praise, but shall I clutter this place with words too feeble to do justice? I feel now is not the time.

I will say how thankful I am for quiet 6am moments where the house is still and quiet and my mind waking up slowly yet unfilled by a day’s worth of worries thrills to the idea of reading a few pages in the word of God and delighting in truths that have been passed on to us for millennia and in caretaking of these truths I partake in worship as I ponder the wonders of the Holy God who has called me and calls me into closer communion with Himself day by day. And while at times it is tempting to spend time reminiscing and chronicling the past, my best thoughts in this morning hour are ones that look towards heaven. The past is blessed by God and wondrous enough. But what does future bring? Whispers of eternity fill my dreams and I tremble. Does your heart ache to know the joy that comes with seeing our God face to face? Mine does. I dwell on the promises of God and the peace that fills my heart through salvation that been granted me through the dazzling word and work of Jesus Christ my Lord. My eyes lift to heaven and my mind thinks of the eternal future that even now stretches before my slow and feeble feet. My flesh and my heart do fail. How good it is to be near God.

Behold the Lamb of God

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So I’ve been enjoying reading the book of John of late. Always a pleasure when it comes time to read that again. And today, found myself reading the three epic chapters(but really, aren’t they all?) of John 4, 5 & 6. So many things could I say (Jesus proclaiming Himself to the woman at the well! Jesus healing the man who had been waiting 38 years – “pick up your pallet and walk!”), but since John 6 is the last chapter I read, thought I’d just make a couple comments on a few items that encouraged me deeply. Firstly, Jesus had just provided a bountiful feast for the thousands of people that had flocked to Him for his healing. Because of this great sign which Jesus had performed, the people decided that Jesus really was something special and they for some reason thought it’d be a good idea to make Jesus king (by force if necessary!). Jesus – knowing that this was a terrible idea, and indeed that His time had not yet come – went up the mountainside to be by Himself, at which time I have no doubt He prayed to His Father. The disciples apparently had no idea when Jesus was going to come down, so they got in a boat and started across the sea. The wind was terrible, they were rowing for miles and then finally…they saw Jesus. Walking. On the sea. Reasonably so, they were frightened. But Jesus reassured them – “It is I; do not be afraid.” And so they were willing to receive Him into the boat and Jesus brought the boat to where they needed to be. No more rowing required! I suppose this is a well-known story, but I just want to make a couple quick points. The disciples were on their own(as they thought) and not having a great time of it. Just as we often are in the midst of turbulent and miserable circumstances and think that we’re alone and think that Jesus is nowhere near. We may think that there’s no way Jesus could be near or with us(maybe intellectually we know this is not true…but emotionally and spiritually…we feel alone. Yes?) Yet, no matter where we are – Jesus has absolutely no probably getting to us. Being near us. But what is the disciples’ first response to seeing Jesus on the waves? Fear! Just so with us – sometimes when God reaches out to us when we’re in the midst of our mess, we are afraid as well. It may be for different reasons (not just because we see God walking on the water!) We are afraid for Jesus to see us at our worst. We are afraid that Jesus is too holy and we know we are too unholy. We are afraid that Jesus is disappointed in us. We are afraid that Jesus won’t really be able to help us. We are afraid looking into the face of God. But Jesus reassures us. “It is I; do not be afraid.” As we know who Jesus truly is – His character, His divine nature, His love…for us! – so that should assuage our fear and reassure us that the nearness of Jesus is indeed our good. Jesus’ communion with us – via ministry of the Holy Spirit! – is indeed a very balm to our wounded souls. And so it says the disciples willingly received Him into their boat. So let us not push back against the ministry of God in our lives – let us receive Him, welcome Him, cry out to Him, love Him. Be willing – nay, be eager! – for Christ to work in our lives. And what great things will He not do?? Just as He miraculously brought the boat to where they needed to be…so God will do wonderful things in our lives. Far more wonderful than we can even conceive. True? May it be so.

Humorous interlude. I do like that the next morning, all the crowds of people are still looking for Jesus and they note that the one boat is still there and the disciples had used the other boat (guess there were only 2 boats there originally?)…and they still couldn’t find Jesus anywhere!! They’re hunting all over and finally they find Jesus across the sea. They are most confused. Wait a second…how did Jesus get here when he most certainly didn’t use a boat?? It’s fun to picture their puzzlement. They probably didn’t consider the fact that Jesus doesn’t exactly need a boat. The Son of God truly rules the wind and the waves and He will walk where He will. No boats required.

Briefly…another few thoughts that encouraged me. The rest of John 6, Jesus challenges the Jews greatly. They bring up Moses and the manna in the wilderness and ask Jesus if He will perform such signs (even though He already did…I guess they want more signs? More food!) and Jesus doesn’t hold back from speaking truth to this crowd that seems to be seeking Him. He tells them that He Himself is the true bread of God that comes down out of heaven and gives life to the world. And that only those who believe in Him will have eternal life. There’s a lot of back and forth and I don’t have time to get into it now, but Jesus doesn’t package this into a nice easily digestible message. No, He makes it difficult. He makes it weird. And just when they start to complain about Him coming out of heaven (“We know you come from Joseph and Mary!”), he challenges them further, while also proclaiming the truth that no one can come to Christ but those in whom the Father works. What hard words are these. Those who ate the manna in the wilderness, what happened to them? They died in rebellion in the desert. That manna did them no good whatsoever. But as for the true bread of life, Christ Himself? Come to Him, believe in Him for your salvation, cry out to Him for your life…eat His flesh and drink His blood (oh what a beautiful picture of communion with God this is!)…and you shall abide in Christ and Christ shall abide in you. You will truly live forever.

Again though, these were weird words. And Jesus didn’t make them necessarily all that palatable. And so many of His disciples (those who had been following Him! Those who thought they liked Jesus!) just couldn’t take it. When they thought Christ was just a prophet or just a rabbi or just a good man…they were very willing to follow Him and be a part of His group. Now though? To trust that Christ is the only source of eternal life and to completely and totally believe in Him for salvation? Too much. So many of them “withdrew and were not walking with Him anymore.” Submitting yourself to God isn’t about going to church or being part of a fun social group. It’s completely and totally surrendering to the God of the universe, believing what God says about Himself and trusting in Him and Him alone for your salvation. This isn’t a fun and easy way of life. But it is true life. And the gorgeous words which wrap up this chapter…Jesus asks the twelve disciples if they want to go away too. How does Simon Peter answer?

“Lord, to whom shall we go? You have words of eternal life. We have believed and have come to know that You are the Holy One of God.”

Let those be our words. To whom else shall we go indeed? There is no one other. There is nothing else that can satisfy. Never, no never. To whom shall we go? Christ Jesus is the Holy One of God, and our true hope of salvation.

These are a lot of random words today, so don’t take my words for true interpretation of these texts. Just some musings on what I read today and thoughts that came to my head. Indeed, through the reading of the Scripture does the Holy Spirit comfort our souls.

Over the Hills and Far Away

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And so a Monday begins (once again) and the week begins (yet again) and though the work will be hectic and I will surely get stressed at certain points…that is no matter. The moonless sky slowly lightens and the promise of deepest night’s deepest wish is sublimely fulfilled by the glory of the dawn. And so does my heart burn as I ponder the beauty of the Lord and all His promises to me. I am unworthy yet I am loved. May I meditate on the truth and love of God this day. A song is in my heart. Remember – always – that no matter the darkness that surrounds, the light is greater still.

Wanderlust

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It’s a lovely day – well it’s Friday so of course it is – and I’m enjoying my peppermint mocha – what else!? – and thought I’d share a few words…

Read some wonderful words in Psalms 5 and 6 and then in Leviticus(which was a bit more dry but still good because it is the Word) but the one verse I want to share was from Proverbs 25:27 – “It is not good to eat much honey, nor is it glory to search out one’s own glory.”  This was convicting and I love it for multiple reasons.  Firstly, I do enjoy my honey.  I put it in coffee, I put it in my smoothies, I put it in tea…it is pretty much my go-to sweetener.  Honey is fantastic!!  But…I do need to be careful not to overdo it, do I not?  Firstly, if I put half a cup of honey in my smoothie, besides being slightly unhealthy, it would also taste sickly sweet and disgusting.  So yes, too much of a good thing like honey…can sour very quickly.  But enough focus on the honey – what is the author saying here?  It is not “glory to search out one’s own glory”.  Glory is something that can be pretty sweet, right?  We like being praised, we like being thought well of.  We like to be liked.  Some don’t care to be liked…but they still want to be recognized and acclaimed.  We all want to be known.  So just as it can be oh so tempting to add a few more dollops of honey to our morning coffee, so can we be quickly allured by the promise of our own glory, acclaim and honor.  Live in such a way to bring honor and glory to the Father.  But to do things to bring about your own glory?  Thus is vanity.  Thus is foolishness.  Because self-sought glory may be sweet on the tongue, but it will sour in the stomach.  Do not seek to heap honors on yourself.  They will vanish quickly, like ashes in the wind.

To close – if we should not search out our own glory, what should we do?  Well – there are many things we should do and I don’t have time to explicate them all.  But I will simply leave you with this for now – be faithful in obedience to God and seek to know God more.  Long after the deep, wonderful things of God.

Peace and love.

Waiting

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My latest read:

10.  The Great Hunt by Robert Jordan.  Finished reading this last night on the porch of EQ, sun shining bright.  Now already on to the third book in series!  But…this one was great fun and once again I forgot how many dramatic events happened in this book!  Rand’s first real duel with swords(goodbye Turak), Egwene’s experience with the Seanchan(horrifyingly scary), Ingtar’s salvation(“Shinowa and the Light!”  …this moment is still one of the most tear-inducing sequences in entire series – no one is so far gone that they cannot yet be redeemed…), the Heroes of the Horn, the Portal Stones, Lanfear’s grand entrance…alright, I’ll stop now since most of you have no idea what any of this means!!  Just know it was a brilliantly written book that almost never stopped for breath.  Love it.  Also sad since this one is the last book we get with relatively “normal” Rand.  Now his descent into madness begins…

And since I’m writing, might as well also share my encouragement at my latest readings.  Reading Psalm 77 & 78 and then further in Genesis this morning.  And I do so love Asaph’s psalms because he is so real and honest about his emotions and how he is feeling.  He didn’t always feel the presence of God – just as we don’t always – and sometimes he wondered if the goodness of God was even real.  “Will the Lord reject forever?  And will He never be favourable again?  Has His lovingkindness ceased forever?”  And on and on in this vein he goes.  And then he pulls himself together and resolves to remember the deeds of the Lord and ponder all the things that God has done in his life…and confidently declares that the way of the Lord is indeed holy.  Might we remember this in our dark moments when it seems as if God is not working at all.  Meditate on what God has done in your life in days past…and hold on to the truths of who God is.  God is faithful and loving and holy and good and sovereign and magnificent and glorious and He is God.  And in Psalm 78 we get the counter-example of the nation of Israel…even though they did eat the bread of angels and saw with their own eyes the glories of God, they still committed the most serious sin of unbelief.  They did not believe what God had said despite seeing His works with their own eyes.  Might we tremble as we think on the fact we have so often failed to believe in God in our own life.  Despite the fact that He loved us.  He loves us!  How can we yet fail and fall so many times.  But we do and although it is a terrible thing that we would doubt God…our Lord is loving and faithful to forgive us our sins, because He is our Father who loves us dearly.

And one further reminder of how it is good to be still and wait on God even though we oft don’t believe He is working.  Abram received the promise of God that He would have a son from his own seed.  And this is a grand promise and one that Abram did indeed believe – “He believed God and it was credited to him as righteousness.”  But later on…did Abram doubt?  I think he did.  Some time later, he still had no child.  And he must have thought – “Well, I suppose God wants me to take matters into my own hands?  Maybe I’m supposed to do something different.  I’m oh so tired of waiting.” Alright, I’m sure he didn’t put it exactly like that…but when his wife Sarai suggested that he have a child with the maid Hagar instead…Abram agreed.  What a terrible idea, right??  “Well, I can’t have a child with my wife…so I suppose I will have one with my wife’s maid instead.  That’s surely what God has in mind.”  And it is definitely a bad idea and there is much fallout from it yet God uses it as He uses all things.

But don’t we so often do the same thing?  We are tired of waiting for God.  And we think that if we just took matters into our own hands…then things would work out the way they were supposed to.  Right?  We rationalize an ill-founded decision because we think it will get us what we want.  We stop believing in God.  We start believing in ourselves.  I will forge my own destiny and I will obtain my heart’s desires.  Oh us of too little faith in God and too great of faith in ourselves. 

Think and ponder and meditate on the glorious nature of God and on what He has done in your life.  Be thankful and rejoice in the works of the Lord in you.  And although waiting is irksome and tiring at times, it is good to be still and wait on our Lord.  Rest in the knowledge of the most perfect love of Christ.  Forever and always.

Passion

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So…baseball Opening Day was yesterday.  Sadly – I did not go to any baseball games, but surprisingly(and probably for the last time this year), all three of my teams won!  Rays had a comeback victory over Boston, Baltimore took out the Twins in the 11th with an Adam Jones homer…and the Astros just plain dominated with Verlander pitching like the Hall of Famer he is.  So I am happy.  Yay baseball!  Spring is now officially here.

But…far more importantly…today is what is commonly called Good Friday, despite the fact that the event it commemorates is horrifyingly brutal in the extreme.  The day man decided (once again!) that they knew better than God.  The day humanity decided (once again!) that they were better off without God.  The day we killed God.

And as shocking as that turn of events was…in the end it truly was a Good day.  For it was the day that God sacrificed Himself.  For us.  For all of us who put our faith in Jesus.  For all of us who give up our lives in submission to the only true God.  For all of us who bow the knee to the One who saves.

In honour of the events of today, I much enjoyed reading Philippians this morning…many many verses kept striking me with their brilliant truths, but I shall only quote a few of my favourites this day.  Despite the filth and lies we are surrounded by…remember:

But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ.
More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ
Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish
so that I may gain Christ,
and may be found in Him,
not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through
faith in Christ,
the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith,
that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings,
being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.

and…

For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Saviour,
the Lord Jesus Christ;
who will transform the body of our humble state into conformity with the
body of His glory, by the exertion of the power that He has even to subject
all things to Himself.

-Philippians 3:7-11,20-21

Let us remember these things.  Let us pause this day in the midst of our frantic lives and ponder and meditate on the One who did not consider equality with God a thing to be grasped – even though He is God – but instead emptied Himself and became a Man and lived and died and rose again.  For us.

Amazing love, how can it be – that Thou my God shouldst die for me!?!

Lingering, my heart burns

James HoganLeave a comment

Don’t have time to write long this sleepy Monday morning…but wanted to log my latest read:

8.  The Eye of the World by Robert Jordan.  This is a book(and series!) that I haven’t read in a while…and by a while I mean probably at least three years?  But oh is it a classic.  One of my favourite(surely top five) fantasy series of all time and this is the book that kicks it all off.  I forgot how quick-paced it was – just a rollicking fantasy adventure…but so rich in detail – truly a finely woven masterpiece of a novel that also manages to introduce myriads of interesting, real characters.  And that’s probably part of the reason I love this series so much – as much as the world is a gorgeously coloured tour de force of imagination and the history is deeply layered and the prose is utterly delightful, the fact that the characters feel living and breathing is something that not many authors can manage to do, especially this many characters!  So yes, reading TEotW was a fun, magnificent experience…and now time for Book 2.  Will probably start that tonight!  As I finished this book last night, I realised how perfectly the ending opened the door to a wider world and invited you in…a grand adventure is ahead. 

Now, my friends, it is surely time for me to end this entry and begin(or at least attempt) my work this morn.  While I could attempt to describe my weekend and the fun times with friends that were had…that is unnecessary to chronicle and my fingers are not quite up to the task.

And so just know that my favourite part of this past weekend was surely Friday night…drinking my tea and reading more of David Brainerd while basketball played on in the background(Syracuse v. TCU was not really that exciting to be honest…).  As much as it is good and enjoyable to have entertaining nights with friends, sometimes it is better to sit with a mug of hot tea and a comforting book.  Thus I declare.  And the fact that this book is also convicting and awe-inspiring and magnificent in the description of a man who was known by God and used by God and loved by God…all the better.  My heart is encouraged.  Despite the ease at which we fall into complacency, may our souls long for that greater joy that comes from thinking on the things of our God.

Éponine

James HoganLeave a comment

Read some of my favourite verses this morning…

For we know in part and we prophesy in part;
but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away.
When I was a child, I used to
think like a child, reason like a child;
when I became a man, I did away with childish things.

For now we see in a mirror dimly,
but then face to face;
now I know in part,
but then I will know fully
just as I also have been fully known.
-1 Corinthians 13:9-12

I would like to dwell on the following phrases this day.  Firstly, “…but when the perfect comes…”  What a sublime few words, what a gorgeous sigh of hope.  Someday.  Secondly…”…for now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face…”  Oh so true is it that our eyes can scarcely pierce the hollow lies of this dark and weary world.  There is a Truth about this world and though sometimes we glimpse it and though sometimes we may reach for it, our reaching is fumbling with our eyes half-closed.  There is a light glorious though and that light beckons true.  Someday our knowledge of the Truth will not be as though seen through shifting waters.  No, someday our knowledge of the Truth will be complete and full and perfect because we shall see that Truth face to face.  To bow at the feet of my Lord Jesus Christ.  Someday.  And “…just as I also have been fully known.”  Now our knowledge is partial and wavering and oh so frail at times.  Yet now – even now – we are completely and utterly known.  Our souls are not lost in the void and despite the devils’ siren call to blissful nothingness, we can with confidence state that we are loved by the One who knows our name.  Is it better to be self-determinedly lost and not yet found?  I say no, I say never.  Never again.  We have a higher hope, a sweeter faith, a most perfect love.  After all, we are fully known.

Coffee and the Tea

James HoganLeave a comment

Good morning friends, and happy Thursday!!  A brief few words…

I’ve much enjoyed this morning – sub-fifty temperatures for (maybe?) the last time this year.  Oh how I love a good cold morning!!  Now sitting here at my desk with a nice cup of black coffee(honey-sweetened, of course) and since my heart is full, I suppose I thought it was a good idea to write at least a little bit, before my day heats up drastically.

This morning as I was slowly waking up, I had the half-conscious thought/prayer, “Lord I am trying so hard”.  Don’t ask me what it was in relation to – in total honesty, I can’t quite remember – only I know that it’s a sigh of the heart that I often have – do you not sometimes pray and not even know what you’re praying?  Anyways immediately some words came to mind that much encouraged me – “It is not the man who wills or the man who runs, but the Lord who has mercy.”  That stunned me – because again I was sorta half asleep at the time – and I felt much blessed that God should grant me these words from my past reading of the Word.  I couldn’t quite remember the reference at first(first I thought it was Isaiah…then Romans.  Had to be somewhere in my recent reading, right?), but eventually(i.e., right now) I looked this up and found it is indeed Romans 9:16, which I read sometime in the past week or so.  Anyways – I say all this not to prop myself up, for surely that goes against the very spirit and words of that verse, but just to remark upon the graciousness of God and to encourage you all to make reading the Word a priority.  How much of a blessing was it for my self-centered, erroneous words of prayer to be immediately corrected and for myself to be much uplifted by these words of Scripture.  Truly a work of the Holy Spirit.  All praise be to God!!  My human effort and vain attempts at justifying myself are as nothing.  Dust in the wind.  Yet the grace and merciful lovingkindness of the Lord is sufficient for me.  For me!  Think on the wondrous mercy and love of our Lord.  Behold our God!

And a few brief more verses that are some of my very favourites that I do not think on often enough:

When my heart was embittered and I was pierced within,
then I was senseless and ignorant; I was like a beast before You.
Nevertheless I am continually with You;
You have taken hold of my right hand.
With Your counsel You will guide me,
and afterward receive me to glory.

Whom have I in heaven but You?
And beside You, I desire nothing on earth.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

For, behold, those who are far from You will perish;
You have destroyed all those who are unfaithful to You.
But as for me, the nearness of God is my good;
I have made the Lord GOD my refuge,
that I may tell of all Your works.
-Psalm 73:21-28