Flowers upon the table and a song upon the lips. What shall I say now when I see you looking at me? How did it come to this? Across the room our eyes slowly lock and in that meeting there is a communion deeper than words can tell. For sure there is a history there but also a future that is so richly signified by this moment in which we linger now. I wonder if you see the colours in the flowers and recognize in them the vibrancy that sings of life. I think you do for I still remember when you saw them the sparkles in your eyes. And so of course it happens that our words tangle a bit now and then as words are wont to do. Yet still at the end we pull the threads by opposite ends and tell each other exactly the signification of what we were meaning to. Do you see the candles flickering even now? I walk to the kitchen and stir the bolognese and add just a bit more salt. Almost ready I say to you and I lean around the corner and we share a smile. Here’s to the moments passing that tick on the clock that it cannot quite memorialize. So instead I sit here and write and hope to God that he holds us close even as we look to the western skies. At some points it’s true that our lights will waver and we will dance once more across the kitchen floor. When that happens please do me a favor and remind me of the truths that I so often write in prose. Here it comes and there it withers, so quick does the summertime grass grow. For once I hold my tongue and let the stanzas whirl through the violet twilight and in the moment still I hold my breath. This life I scorn as I look to the promise of what it means to be newborn and I shiver as I await my rest.
Tag: meditation
Love Unyielding
A glorious morning is mine. It is but a simple Sunday morning, but already I feel the grace of the Lord this day as I have enjoyed so many fine little pleasures. Woke up at a nice and leisurely hour (comparatively to my normal) and as the sun was already peeking over the horizon, decided to get out of bed and enjoy a long pre-church time of rest and meditation. Well, I say that – but I also decided that a little errand run was important. Dashed off to bakery and got a fresh loaf of sourdough for the week and then went to grocery store for a few little items for macaroni salad contribution for tomorrow’s Monday Night dinner. Back home again, and back to reading and meditating.
How sweet have been these past few minutes. A good cup of strong black coffee. Listening to the ever lovely Beethoven’s Choral Fantasy. Reading in the Word – words of lamentation and of hope as I continue reading through Lamentations and relish the joy-streaked melancholy of Chapter 3 – surely one of the most beautiful chapters of Scripture there is. And then in Luke – onwards we march as we witness the continuing ministry of Jesus as he calls all to repentance. And then what an overwhelming story of love and compassion as he teaches in the synagogue and then notices a woman afflicted with a grievous ailment. She doesn’t say a word, she doesn’t cry out to him, she doesn’t put herself forward. Jesus looks, Jesus notices, Jesus calls to her to come. She comes to him and what does he do? Jesus places his hands on her and pronounces her free from her pain and suffering, free from the chains with which she was bound by Satan. Glory glory – hallelujah and all praise to Jesus King of kings and Lord of lords who is our Sovereign who also has the hands that heals. It is almost too much to consider this Jesus who looks to us and sees us suffering and calls us to him that we might know his healing hands. See those hands marked by the scars of mercy? Look upon Jesus, the one who calls to us to come to him and be forever free from our chains. I love to ponder and meditate on such. Balm for my soul this Sunday to consider the Jesus who has saved me from all my sins and called me into communion with God.
Oh how Wonderful
On this day I sit and think and ponder on all the fingers that point at me and signal with their urgency – it is you! And thus do I walk forward now on this path and as the relaxed posture of the flowers show, it is hot outside and so it is not surprising that a drop or two of sweat slowly slides down my brow. To return to the theme, perhaps I am a bit too self centered in my musings so I consider that all I see is concerned with me when in reality I know that this cannot be. For true, if I were the center of this world’s play then would not I perhaps inhabit a more prominent role? Or am I just doomed to be the bit character, the one with a single line in the third act that perhaps isn’t even heard over the shrill whistling of the birds perched overhead on the balcony. Perhaps so. Yet if I have a line and if this line must be said, should I not practice the all important art of elocution to ensure that at least there is a chance the few words I have fall gracefully upon the ears of those still perked towards the stage? That is my attitude and hopefully it is not arrogant to assume such, especially if I have manfully resigned the expectation that the central part is mine. In fact it never was. Grateful for that I am for it means I can rest in the shadow of another.
In fact all my hope for a better life lies not in what I can do for myself for all my own strivings show is – in proven fact – how inept I am at bettering myself in the attributes that have that certain something – oh you know what I mean – that aspect of the infinite, that piercing rhythm of eternity. So my ineptitude points to the fact that I cannot in and of myself contribute anything of lasting value to the novel whose pages so rapidly are flicking flicking towards its close. But why yet does my finite sluggish mind grasp so much for the beauty that it cannot in itself define? If I cannot so define, how do I know that there is such a possibility? This concept has stubbornly embedded itself in my mind and perhaps is an original feature of my soul, that idea that the infinite exists and that it is beautiful beyond compare. Where is this treasure, where is this pearl of great price? Perhaps oh if the infinite would bend down and say a word or two to give me that glimpse for which my soul longs. Oh for this word to come down and in itself give me such life that in comparison to it all else is merely grinning death. Oh for this word to stretch forth a hand and say that which my soul aches to hear. Where is this treasure, where this pearl of great price? Perhaps it truly is found in that song of grace and truth which I so casually dismissed so long ago. Perhaps it truly is found in that old worn story that says that man or god or perhaps both came to bring peace to earth. Where is this treasure, this pearl of great price? I shiver as I say aloud that name that rings redemption in divine majesty. I weep as I sit at the foot of the cross and ponder he who is called Jesus Christ.
Light and Life
I have many thoughts swirling around my mind. Whether they are particularly good or inspired ones is a question for another day. But for the now, I’m grateful for a cosy home and a warm hoodie and a couch that is far more comfortable than it has any right to be. Many other things I can name in this space that deserve the praise, but shall I clutter this place with words too feeble to do justice? I feel now is not the time.
I will say how thankful I am for quiet 6am moments where the house is still and quiet and my mind waking up slowly yet unfilled by a day’s worth of worries thrills to the idea of reading a few pages in the word of God and delighting in truths that have been passed on to us for millennia and in caretaking of these truths I partake in worship as I ponder the wonders of the Holy God who has called me and calls me into closer communion with Himself day by day. And while at times it is tempting to spend time reminiscing and chronicling the past, my best thoughts in this morning hour are ones that look towards heaven. The past is blessed by God and wondrous enough. But what does future bring? Whispers of eternity fill my dreams and I tremble. Does your heart ache to know the joy that comes with seeing our God face to face? Mine does. I dwell on the promises of God and the peace that fills my heart through salvation that been granted me through the dazzling word and work of Jesus Christ my Lord. My eyes lift to heaven and my mind thinks of the eternal future that even now stretches before my slow and feeble feet. My flesh and my heart do fail. How good it is to be near God.
Men of Valor
From the Gadites there came over to David in the wilderness, mighty men of valor, men trained for war, who could handle shield and spear, and whose faces were like the faces of lions, and they were as swift as the gazelles on the mountains…
Seriously epic verse, no? I’m not actually sure why I posted that, but I just love finding random awesome verses like that. (1 Chronicles 12:8, if anyone’s wondering) And while there’s nothing particularly “spiritual” in that verse…well, my heart can’t help but be lifted up and inspired to be such a man of valor as they. Maybe I’m not equipped with shield and spear or I’m not actually as fast as a gazelle(seriously – those guys were beasts!!)…but may I serve my God with such a dedication as they. Sometimes we are too lax in our service to our God…comfortable in our nice warm homes in our luxurious cities. Not too many of us willfully choose to make ourselves uncomfortable by charging into the wilderness. Not often do we give up all that we have to serve our Savior. I just pray that as blessed as we are to live such comfortable lives, we give thanks to our God continually! And that we never seek our own pleasure or glory before that of our most awesome Father. Amen? Amen.
Also, may we constantly seek after our Lord’s face and delight in His Word to us! Let’s stop continually indulging in the things of this world…and instead rest in the quiet peace of knowing Jesus Christ. Take a moment away from thinking on the whirlwind that is this world and think upon the things of God. Rest in his glory. Rest in his love.
And now, as always, I leave you with mine.
Peace and love.
Seven Pillars
The fear of the LORD is
the beginning of wisdom,
And the knowledge of
the Holy One is understanding.
-Proverbs 9:10
If I could only always remember this!! There is a foolishness that masquerades as cleverness and there is a grave that masks itself with the ever sweeter perfume of piety and there is a well-paved path that leads to the gates of hell. And there is a wisdom that looks as folly and there is a grave that is empty and there is a little-trod path that leads to the presence of God Himself.
Oh, for the love of Jesus, who found us when we could not see! Oh for the love of Jesus, who knew us when we did not know Him! Oh for the love of Jesus, who saved us when we could not live! Oh for the love of Jesus, who lifted us when we could not move! Oh for the love of Jesus, who loved us when we could not love! Oh for the love of Jesus!!
Born that way
Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
and in sin my mother conceived me.
Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being,
and in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom.
Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Make me to hear joy and gladness,
let the bones which You have broken rejoice.
Hide Your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquities.
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me away from Your presence
and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of Your salvation
and sustain me with a willing spirit.
Then I will teach transgressors their ways,
and sinners will be converted to You.
Deliver me from bloodguiltiness,
O God, the God of my salvation;
then my tongue will joyfully sing of
Your righteousness. -Psalm 51:5-14
Oh I will sing!!!
Ahh this has been such a sweet day!! Admittedly, I’ve been inside for most of it…but that’s because it’s been grey and gloomy and rainy outside all day long…so I decided it was a perfect day to relax indoors. Had a late night anyway(sweet party times with Aiysha and Sam et al!) so woke up sort of late…(11AM, eek! That’s probably my latest lie in in quite some time!) So after my shower I enjoyed my sweet bacon and coffee breakfast and reading…and for the past few hours I’ve been chilling in my living room and compiling a new iTunes playlist(felt it was time for a new one…and in doing so, realized I had NO “And Can it Be?”. That had to be rectified and so I found a sweet version…in this awesome CD that you all should get – Resolved Music, Vol 1 on Amazon. Great stuff)…so making the playlist took me a while because I kept getting distracted(first by talking to Laura on Gmail…and then Katheryn. So worth it though! *waves to both*). Anyways here’s the playlist I came up with…I’m pretty happy with it. Presenting…”The Homestretch”:
1. Such Great Heights – The Postal Service
2. It’s Beginning to Get to Me – Snow Patrol
3. All of Us – Blindside
4. Ever Dream – Nightwish
5. Dargor Shadowlord of the Black Mountain – Rhapsody of Fire
6. Nothing but the Blood – Jars of Clay
7. Go Hard ft. Tedashii – Lecrae
8. The Prodigal Son Suite – Keith Green
9. Something Beautiful – Needtobreathe
10. Die Alone – Ingrid Michaelson
11. Blackout – Muse
12. Yellow – Coldplay
13. Revelation 5 – Hope Bible Church
14. And Can it Be – The Enfield Hymn Sessions
Good stuff, neh? I’ve been listening to it right now and I am most pleased. I forwent my usual hardcore opening and went a little softer with Postal Service and Snow Patrol opening…but don’t worry, got at least a little power metal awesomeness in there with Nightwish and Rhapsody. I’ve been much enjoying Rhapsody of Fire on the way to work lately – glorious beautiful music(even if Galan’s the only other person I know that agrees!!)
And in other news, tonight having Steven, Maren and Anna over…my 3rd night having people over in four nights!! But this time, Maren and Anna are going to cook apparently, so I can relax a bit. Ooh, I probably should clean the kitchen a bit though before they’re here. Yes, good plan.
And although I think I have more to say, time to run to the store to get some juice for tonight and then prep my place for company. Hope y’all are having a most glorious day!!!
Something Weird 