Smokestacks

Another Monday begins. What this week brings who can tell? Or at the least, I can say for certainty not I. A bit of uncertainty, a bit of anxiety as we slide headfirst into April into chaos looming. But is not all of life a bit of chaos, heedlessly unconstrained by the chains that we so meticulously fasten around our plans in order to bring about our own designs? We think at times that if we plan just so and schedule in such and such a fashion that we might then truly have our lives set aright and in smooth and careful steps proceed accordingly to our will. We would be as gods. Yet all of life goes to prove us wrong. We take firm steps and we plan. This is good. Yet on this sea that tosses violently there is only one who can of his own accord calm it. Not I, never I. Is that not a bit reassuring? It is to me and you may wonder why. It is simple – I am every day shown how feeble and frail are my strivings. If the path of my life was up to me alone, I would have good reason to be terrified at the outcome. For I know the deep and lingering darkness in myself as well as the storm that howls round about. It is not a good thing to be left to one’s own devices. And so on this slowly waking morning, I look anew to the horizon grateful for my soul’s own mooring. I trust not in myself for myself, thanks be to God! Instead I trust in the one who never fails and never flees. I trust in Jesus Christ who gave his life for me. This is true and this is real and this actuality of salvation which has occurred is more solid looming in my mind than any imagined pain or hurt. I linger in wondering awe at the foot of this long dreamed hill and watch the flowers grow.

Countryside

Just finished making my little tomato/avocado salad and popped it in the fridge. Now? Well the burritos will at some point be put in the oven for dinner, but that point is still far off. It’s a Friday evening and while it’s been a good week…also been a tiring one. Wonderfully – a quiet night is now at hand! I wish I could say I’d try and write a bit, but not sure it’s in the cards. Perhaps a poem or two, perhaps. And really at some point I should work a bit more on my long prose. But for the now, I’m oh so grateful for a night where I can simply rest in our cosy apartment at the end of a long week. I think a bit of quality classical music is in order and of course a candle. And books? Without question. I’m close to finishing up Mere Christianity – a joy and delight as expected, a vigorous fresh breeze of truth and clarity. And I may also read a bit more of my WWI book – Sleepwalkers, which is inordinately fascinating and I really can’t put it down, though I must at some point in order to make time for book club book – Mrs. Dalloway. I think that last shall be the crown jewel of the evening for there is almost nothing that I enjoy more than to open a new book and sink deep into the world within. Well in actuality there is a list of probably ten or more things that I enjoy more, but I shall not bore you now by listing those off. Let me simply end by saying how grateful I am for a night of rest. And of course – the joy that fills my heart as I thrill at the thought that I am a child of God. Peace, my friends. Peace and love.

The Process

What one does when one seeks to relax says a lot about a person. Or at least, that’s what I’m pondering now as I – in my own way – spend a few minutes sprawling on the couch attempting to put words to page. When one’s creative juices have gone dry and there are no more faded memories fit to be mined, what does one write about? Well that’s when it all goes meta and the wannabe author starts talking about the process of writing. Nothing more boring for the non-author, am I right? But for some of my fellow authors, well…maybe you’re interested in what I have to say? At this point probably not, because I’m just spinning my wheels in this endless intro and you may now suspect – and you’d be right – that I don’t actually have a plan for what I’m writing. And there’s a reason for that.

I most certainly cannot speak for all writers but guess what? I can speak for myself, and so I do. Writing is something that ends in somewhat the same destination. There are words on a page (or on a screen, or on a wall, or various other surfaces, who am I to judge) and these words are presumably an expression of the author’s mind. Yet the process of writing varies in an almost infinite kaleidoscope of ways. The routines and the tics, the little tricks an author does to trick himself into writing something that could be construed as creative are some of the most treasured tools in the author’s toolbox. And I cringe that I have finally used the dreaded toolbox metaphor. Oh may I never do such again.

And I have now wasted another paragraph spinning my wheels. Oh what is this nonsense! I could be smug and say there is a purpose to that and you know what? There is. But I must also be a bit humble and admit that the fact I have spent two paragraphs talking about nothing to illustrate my point is a fortuitous turn of events that I did not realize its ultimate end until now. And that point shall now be illustrated.

Simply this – and I am proud to think that I am alone in this technique but I am sure I am not and I wait for the other writers to hoarde around me and echo that I am not at all unique – I write of random thoughts and tidbits in my brain knowing the writing soul shall not awaken until I give it a good few kicks. Much as one primes a pump, I know that my best output won’t happen right away. Indeed, I can stare at the screen all I want but it is very rare that my best words bloom immediately. Instead, I write. Sometimes nonsense, such as now. Other times, I will visualize a random scene and simply write what comes to me, allowing my imagination to slowly wake and rub the sleep out of its eyes as it looks around and sees what there is to see. But this is the important thing. I write. It is the most basic and excellent writing advice there is and it is preached for a reason. It works. How does one write? You write. It matters not what one writes. Of course eventually one may seek for quality and depth of substance in one’s prose or poetry, but initially? Just write. I stretch my mind and as I write and let my fingers outpace my conscious mind, sometimes I am even stunned at what is eventually resting on the page, alive and vibrant with meaning and truth that I did not myself know was waiting to spring forth from my soul.

I crave to write things that are of beauty and truth. I often fail, it is true. But occasionally I succeed. And I cannot credit my own foreknowledge or depth of craft that I possess in such meagre quantity. Instead, I am grateful for what I have been blessed with, the ability to communicate somewhat of the miraculous, releasing spirit thoughts from my brain to the great beyond, words on a page. If I simply put fingers to keyboard and pound away, eventually some gold emerges from the dross. Not all the time. Not often even. But when from beyond the great sea come words that ring true in a way that leaves my soul in stunned silence at what has been wrought? I lift my eyes to heaven and say a prayer of thanks. For this is how I rest, by pounding out the fresh harvest of my thoughts so that the chaff may be released and perhaps pure silken wheat may be left behind to witness true. I don’t know what it says about me. But in this ultra modern era in which I inhabit, I write to rest. Writing slows my thoughts and reveals inner dreams that soothe and invigorate my very soul. I cannot promise any of these words are or will be of any use to anyone else. But writing them was of use to me. And why not now release them into the wild? These words are not of anymore use to me now – may they run off into the woods and bless who they will.

That Scotland Sky

The day turns just like that. I was wearing my blue and green striped sweater and she had on her dusty pink sweatshirt and we walked side by side. It was so warm and nice she bemoaned. Why must it now be cold? I grinned to myself, secretly – oh who are we kidding, she knew full well – thrilled at this turn of events. Our hair windblown, our shoulders slightly damp from the January rain, we walked hand in hand. I gleefully informed her that due to the fact that it was winter, even though in this southern clime, it was fully right and proper that the freeze should be upon us. She huffed mildly. I would like to say she saw reason at that previous statement of mine, but alas she still groaned that it should come to this. The arctic breezes danced around us as the palm trees tossed their heads in fruitless protest. And in silence now we walked, she and I. Hot chocolate when we get home I asked at last? And then finally those words got a smile. Her eyes sparkled and she said yes yes yes. Homeward we go and I raised my arms in welcome embrace to the wintry blue and dappled sky. The day has turned out rather fine.

Sun Streaked

Morning, dear friends!! I’m listening to my favorite Rachmaninoff concertos No. 2 & 3 as I start work this morning…with the ubiquitous peppermint mocha in hand. The rain came pouring down this morning in startling fashion, but the clouds seem to finally be fleeing the area as the day truly begins to dawn. I’m confident of a good day ahead, for this is indeed the day the Lord has made. Have a wonderful love-soaked day, my friends. As for me, it is time to begin work! (And to enjoy listening to some gorgeous music as I do so…)

Communion

What a lovely lovely day. And shall I waste it adding words to the ever growing clouds of data spinning through this world? May it not be so! So briefly….

A day of rest, a day of joy. Finally home with my Bethel church family, loving each other and loving God, lifting our voices in worship sweet and listening to the Word expounded. And lunch with friends(chicken curry is always a quality meal, more so when eaten over good chat and sweet communion with my dear friends). Back at my flat and poring over the Word for community group(Colossians 3:15-17…)…And then vacuuming and a quick workout and then out into glorious brilliant afternoon sunshine reading The Silver Chair by the side of the pool…And back inside and now potato is in the oven and I will soon enjoy it hot and freshly buttered along with some plump turkey burgers and green beans but now I sit on this couch and read a bit of Owen’s Communion With God and while I could say that there is nothing more to be said, suffice it to be said that my heart is full this day. Afternoon sweetly passing by, eyes brighten, lips part, heart sigh. A touch of honey on the bread, one last morsel achingly read, truly nothing more to be said.

Tears of Grace

Hello friends!! I write this from Starbucks this happy Saturday afternoon and while I shall not write long, I couldn’t resist the opportunity to put a few words to page. Today has been a somewhat productive day so far(got my car’s oil changed, some errands, etc!) and it will continue once I get back home – need to do some cleaning of my apartment! Fun times eh? Now though, just been reading a bit in preparation for Tuesday night’s study(“Whatever you do in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord.” How often do I fail at that. How much do I need to be reminded!) and also sending a few emails out. Also a very nice benefit to having internet access here…downloaded a bunch of Dominic’s sermons from SermonAudio and I shall later on burn these to CDs for commute listening. I am very pleased with my many new sermons and the much encouragement and conviction I’m sure they will provide. Again from Colossians – may the Word of Christ richly dwell within us.

Now, I’m off, mostly because I want to get home and start my chores. Also need to start dinner at some point – tonight’s a chicken parm night…just been craving that this morning, so suppose I shall make it(complete with tomato salad *of course*). I have far more I could write about, but for now, just grateful for a day of rest that my God has granted me. May I spend it pondering the goodness and glories of my God and meditating on the beauties and wonders of knowing Christ. I do not want to waste this day or this life thinking about that which does not matter. Peace and love, my friends – hope you have a beautiful day and are as encouraged as I am!

A Prime Year

I am overwhelmed by the goodness of the Lord.

I shall not write long now, as the evening light fades as this day comes to a sweet closing, but I cannot help but write a scant few words.  This day I turn twenty-nine, not a momentous day in and of itself, but it is indeed a good time to sit and ponder and recall the glorious wonders of my God and the many bounties He has granted me.  And so this day has been a calm one, a normal day of work and a quiet evening now.  But all day today, as I received numerous messages of love and encouragement from my friends, I felt myself a bit taken aback by the far too kind words from my friends and family dear.  I am most unworthy and I feel that it is only the grace of my God and Father that I am who I am this day.  Oh my Father keep me humble and full of love as I walk before You!

And now I am going to have a beautiful and most perfect birthday dinner of lasagna and tomato salad and possibly some chocolate cake!!!  And once again, I offer all thanksgiving to my God and Father who has given me much these past twenty-nine years.  He has given me abundantly more than all I could ask or imagine.  He has forgiven me much.  My God has forgiven me everything.  And in that great beauty and profound love i rejoice! 

Peace, my friends.  Peace and love.  Always.

Turn of the Wheel

Happy Friday, friends!!! I’m sitting here at my desk at work, about ready to begin another day and end another week in fine style – it’s been a bit of a slow work week here, but no complaints, just been steadily working away. Also been recovering my sleep all week after an awesome weekend in Canada with Robbie, Ryan and friends! I wish I had more time to describe the vacation, but alas, I do not. Anyways, a relaxing night was had last night – ate my dinner(fish, chips and peas!) and watched an episode of Angel. Also read a little more of Communion with God by Owen. I always forget how good and encouraging that book is. At some point, I’ll try to post another excerpt, but right now read about how deeply important the Holy Spirit is to our lives as Christians – and how we should seek the comfort and encouragement and sanctification and gifts that He brings – do not understate the importance of the Spirit in our everyday lives as we seek to glorify God in all that we do. And wow, that was said so much more poorly than Owen stated it. Still hopefully you get the idea!

Now, I’m off. Going to continue drinking my yummy peppermint mocha and dominate this work day and then…drive up to Dallas for a weekend with Mikaela. Y’know. A good weekend is at hand – but first, going to enjoy the Lord in His work this day! Peace, my friends. Peace and love.

Consummation of the Ages

Good morning friends!! A blitz of a post here before I begin working! I’m sipping on my Friday peppermint mocha even though it’s not really Friday because…this is the last day of the work week for me! Fly off to Vancouver tomorrow for a weekend in Canada with Robbie, Ryan and friends! It’s going to be awesomeness, not least of which because I haven’t seen Robbie in a couple years now so really looking forward to catching up with him and having some quality chats(which we always always do). And of course – first time in Canada, so there’s that! I think we might also drop down to Seattle for a day, as well. So anyway, I’m in a pretty good mood now, looking forward to a sweet holiday time with friends. Shall be wonderful, I so decree!

And just as awesome as this coming weekend is going to be, last weekend was. Another super busy weekend, mostly because Mikaela came down from Dallas and spent the whole weekend in Houston and so naturally we spent very much time together(as is good and proper!). Went to Bethel on Friday night and heard John Piper speak on his new book A Peculiar Glory – about how the Word of God reveals its utter truthfulness to mankind. His talk was absolutely wonderful – he marries intellectual vigor and wisdom with the sweet passion that can only be granted by knowing God so closely and intimately. Oh how my eyes were lifted up to heaven as we pondered the glories of God!

Saturday night(after many fun adventures during the day, of course), me and Mikaela went on a double date with Earnie and Mandy to the symphony! After a quality dinner of steak and mashed potatoes at Truluck’s, we four enjoyed the Houston Symphony and Choir’s fine performance of Faure’s Requiem. Very very beautiful, indeed. And Sunday, following church, Mikaela and I had a most yummy Cajun-filled lunch at BB’s where I had my standard jalapeno mac’n’cheese and she ate many delicious looking crawfish. But…apart from the food and fun we enjoyed over the weekend, the best part was just being with Mikaela and talking with her and enjoying our time together…such sweet times indeed, may God be praised.

And now that I’ve written a bit more than I had planned, it is off to work with me. Be joyful this day, my friends – and think on the beauty of Jesus Christ our Lord. Peace, y’all – peace and love.