Tag: life

Wishmaster

James HoganLeave a comment

So finished another book last night.  Read:

11.  The Dragon Reborn by Robert Jordan.  I’m not going to overly detail my thoughts on this book, other than it’s another fantastic Wheel of Time book…full of high drama and delicious fantastical elements.  This is the book where Rand is barely ever in it, but he does show up at the end in time to defeat Ishamael and claim the Stone of Tear, prompting both Aiel and Defenders of the Stone alike to shout out in acclamation.  And this book also contains the beginnings of Mat being awesome…as well as Perrin meeting Faile.  For somer reason, the more I read these books, the more I like reading Perrin & Faile’s story…and this is where Perrin first discovers his falcon and their love story is beautiful, as messy as it later becomes!  In this book it ends with her wiping his blood off his face, the blood he shed to save her life.  Romantic to the core.  Now I apologize – for any of you who have not read this book, it sounds most confusing…and trust me, even reading it can sometimes be confusing.  But wonderful all the same.

What else shall I discuss today?  I suppose I could mention that myself and John are planning to go see newest Avengers movie – Infinity War – later tonight.  It should be epic, as it has approximately 23 superheroes in it.  And…I believe that’s not that much of an exxageration.  Excited for that!!

Also been for some reason in a Nightwish mood lately…listening to it both at work and in my drives to and from.  I forgot how much I love them and just how gorgeous their music is!!  And thankfully, I have Laura who I can call and we can go into great detail discussing our fav albums and singers (obviously Tarja is amazing….but I do like both Annette and Floor in their own way, as well!!)  Been remembering the times I saw them live(first with Jackie, second with Laura!) and it has renewed my desire to one day soon chronicle my all-time favorite concert experiences, of which surely Nightwish show will be near the top.

Now it is about time for me to take my leave, but firstly (note, I should really probably leave off that last stanza…but can’t help it – love it even though poem would probably be better ending stanza sooner…)…

The morning warm and dark breaks
like the darkened sea upon the shattered shore,
and though I think there is no beauty left to find,
and no more dawn song tripping through my mind,
I turn the key and turn my head and turn and see
her entering,
and the gate swings open, open
and the streetlamps’ light descends upon her
faintly.

Faintly yes
but enough for me
to see

Chocolate curls cascading,
Snow white dress shimmering,
Her eyes liquidly
Dark and full of magic,

and though I approach but softly
her lips quirk up in sheepish smile,
our eyes brush past each other
and touch oh so gently
and lips murmur
courteous nothings
in the wind.

And lo her eyes smile and dip and dance away
and so I bow and take my leave
and so
and so
the dawn song breaks upon my heart once more
as the foamy sea cast its waves
upon that golden shore.

Century Child

James HoganLeave a comment

…and once again we come to Monday, the pauper of days.  But as I rolled on to work this morning, it was heartening to see the brilliant full moon shine bright o’erhead, before she finally decided to veil her face.  Even then, the light broke through the clouds effortlessly, beautifully.  And so my week begins, with a note of wonder, song of grace.

And briefly…much enjoyed my reading this morning.  I would like to share a few of my favourite verses – firstly from Exodus:

Now it came about in the course of those many days that the king of Egypt died.
And the sons of Israel sighed because of the bondage, and they cried out;
and their cry for help because of their bondage rose up to God.
So God heard their groaning;
and God remembered His covenant with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.
God saw the sons of Israel,
and God took notice of them.
-Exodus 2:23-25

Is that not beautiful?  I cannot quite state that anything I’m going through is anywhere near the level of bondage that the children of Israel were in.  But it is oh so encouraging to my heart to see how God responds to the sighs and cries of His people.  God hears, God remembers, God sees, God takes notice.  We may think that God is ignoring us, not promptly answering our pleas and our cries.  I mean – seriously, the children of Israel are in bondage for near on four hundred years!!  That is not an insignificant length of time – why does God not act sooner?  I know not.  And sometimes whatever we are suffering through will seem like it is never ending…yet…we need not let our hearts be troubled.  Because God does remember His promises to us and He surely does see our plight and hear our cries.  And God will surely take notice and stretch out His mighty hand on our behalf.  Not in our time, perhaps.  But God’s time is sweeter still.  Let us remember that and let our hearts’ cries never cease to be raised to the God who hears.

And secondly from the magnificent book of John…

Now before the Feast of the Passover, Jesus knowing that His hour had come that He would depart out of this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world,
He loved them to the end.
-John 13:1

…and is that not truly beautiful as well?  Jesus knew His time was short.  He knew His time was at hand.  And He whose love is incomprehensible did truly love His disciples deeply.  And did His love for them wane as His hour of trial approached?  Oh most certainly not – Jesus loved His disciples to the end.  He loved them infinitely.  He loved them completely and perfectly, as only the Son of God can.  And to manifest His love to them…he got up from the dinner table and washed His followers’ dirty feet.  A shocking display of love, acting not as their Teacher and Lord(which He was!), but as their Servant.  And so this Servant who was about to suffer greatly did kneel before His disciples and love them greatly.  I can imagine them being so shocked that silence fell around the table.  I don’t know that for certain, but I imagine it to be so.  And then when He comes to Peter…Peter responds as only Peter can – “Never shall You wash my feet!”  But when Jesus responds that Peter shall have no part of Him if He is not washed by Christ…then Peter again responds as only Peter can – “…then wash me completely, feet, head, hands all!”  Jesus gently reminds Him that he who has bathed need only wash his feet and truly, “…you are clean.”  What a joy to hear that from Jesus.  You are clean!  Oh joyous thought – we that are redeemed by the blood of Christ are truly clean.  Forever.  And we can read about this moment where Jesus acted so sacrificially for His followers…so also ought we to lay aside our pride and love one another.  If Jesus could serve His disciples in such a way…how could we not long to serve each our brothers and sisters daily, always.  What joy would fill our hearts to act as our Saviour??  What joy does fill our hearts to know our Lord!!

And one last verse to close…truly lovely words:

“In that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in Me, and I in you.
He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me;
and he who loves Me
will be loved by My Father,
and I will love Him
and will disclose Myself to him.”
-Jesus Christ, John 14:20-21

We of whose those words are true…Jesus reveals Himself to us in pure love.  What awe and wonder!  We are loved by God the Father.  We are loved by God the Son.  We abide in Christ and Christ abides in us.  The Holy Spirit of God dwells in us.  We are loved by God.  We truly know God as He reveals Himself to us.  We are truly known by God.  We are loved.  This, my friends, is why we can be full of grace and full of peace.  Forever and always.

Hard Love

James HoganLeave a comment

Good morning, friends!! And…happy Friday!!! For indeed, it is finally Friday here, and although I am quite tired(it’s been a long week!), I’m psyched for a glorious day ahead. Sipping on my (still slightly warm) peppermint mocha now and enjoying that – was fun seeing and chatting briefly with Tony & Chi at Starbucks today! I still miss Katie, but I suppose I may(at some point possibly?) see her again – she is now finishing up her first semester of nursing school yay! Anyways – enough Starbucks people updates! Today shall be a good day, that I declare. I’ve been thinking lately about how easily I get distracted and fret over either things I don’t control or things that don’t really matter. And really how…at the end of the day, I need to rest in the sovereignty and love of Christ Jesus my Lord and rejoice and enjoy the beauty all around me, courtesy of my God. True? May I remember that much more than I usually do. Peace, my friends. Peace and love.

And Further On Sound the Horns of the Embittered Knights

James HoganLeave a comment

Briefly!  I was very happy I finally got proper reading time this morning.  Obviously it is not a good idea to take paper-based materials on a canoeing trip – thus I didn’t have my Bible with me the whole weekend.  And then yesterday I somehow slept through my alarm so got no reading time.  Finally, finally – today I was able to make a nice cup of coffee and read for at least a few minutes!

And while I shall not now retell all my readings, thought I’d share one line that struck me as I was reading further about the life of Joseph – “Now Joseph was thirty years old when he stood before Pharoah, king of Egypt.”  The reason this struck me is patently obvious, I think – for just as Joseph was thirty years old then, so I am thirty years old now.  So it is natural for me to compare myself to him and ponder and measure myself thus.  But for a moment – think about Joseph.  Think about his life up to this point and the difficulties and pain he had suffered.  Sold to slavers by his own brothers at a young age.  Working as a slave to an Egyptian official and even making something of himself there…when it all unraveled again and he was falsely accused and imprisoned.  Years in prison.  Then when he thought he had made a connection with a man who could get him out…that man forgot him.  For two years.  And so his life had been one of slavery and bondage for years…and years…and years.  But – had he used that time to grow resentful and bitter and wrathful?  Had he let his spirit shrivel away as he abandoned hope in the God whose man he was?  No.  He continued to trust in God.  His faith surely wavered and flickered at times.  But his spirit was further forged through the fires of affliction and his eyes fixed themselves upon the God who knew his name.  For when he was asked from where his talent for dream-speaking came, he claimed no portion of the credit.  He humbly acknowledged the God who made all things.  And so at the age of thirty, he stood before the king of Egypt, prepared for a greater work, humble yet confident in the power of His God.

And this is where I can very briefly glance at my own life – knowing not what lies before me, I can confidently assert that God has continued to work in me these past thirty years of my life, shaping and molding my spirit, refining my soul through fire.  I know not what lies ahead, no.  But God grant me the grace to stand prepared to do His work, whatever that may be.  I may not stand before kings, but may my life be fit for such.  These past years of my life haven’t necessarily been full of bondage and harsh suffering, but they haven’t all been easy either.  And that is not a bad thing – for through such fires are humility and holiness forged.  Why do I stand in readiness now?  Because of the God whose man I am.  Why do I stand in confidence now?  Because of the God who knows my name.

The Buffalo

James HoganLeave a comment

So…a few(for reals!) words as I sit sleepily here on a slowly lightening Monday morn…

I had a delightfully adventerous and exhausting weekend up in Arkansas with John, Jared, Peter, Chase and others on a camping and canoeing trip…and while I wish I could say it was all beautiful(trust me when I say there were plenty of beautiful moments!!), it also had moments of cold and wet and somewhat miserable sensations…I think I felt like I relate to Sam Gamgee quite a bit…adventures are wonderful when you’re reading about them, but as you go through them, you realize there’s quite a few unpleasant and painful bits!!  But the moments of briskly kayaking down the Buffalo River, cliffs towering on one side, proud trees on the other and gorgeous blue water ahead were what made it all worth it…the solitude and sound of rushing water and the sunshine resting on my head…all of this was beautiful and much loved by me.  And so I could sing a few refrains from favourite songs and thank the Lord who made it all so. 

But now as I am sore and tired and yet have a full week of work ahead of me…I suppose I shall take those sweet memories of beauty and peace and hold them dear and then proceed about my business.  It shall be a good week, though I know not what comes.

Peace and love, one and all.

The Last Hurrah

James HoganLeave a comment

So I was going to write a much longer post (and maybe even a poem!) but alas (not really) I actually talked to Dad on phone instead, which was very worth it!  And so now my minutes to write are few.  But quickly…

It is still wonderfully cold here – sub-50s temperature when I walked out to my car this morning!!  One last time I shall say – long may it continue!!  Even though…I know that no, it most certainly will not continue long.  But I shall enjoy it much.  Oh shall I enjoy it!  Yesterday was sublime.  After church and various errands, came home and quickly made and ate lunch(chicken & curry-spiced cauliflower & red peppers!) then fled to the glorious outdoors.  Walked down White Oak enjoying the strains of live music that were being played at every other bar and restaurant…then went to Red for a quick espresso (because why not, yeah?) then got to talk to Maryanne for a bit to wish her happy birthday as she is now 27 years old, what!!!  Happy happy birthday, Maryanne, dearest sister!!!  Then I realised I’d missed a call from Daniel…so once I walked down to EQ and settled in my usual spot on the porch, called him back and we had a beautiful time chatting.  Oh how I miss him.  But it was a great talk and I must remind myself to pray for him more, that God continues to bless him and grant him peace in all things.  After that…well, no more phone chatting, so I instead settled in my chair on the porch and soaked in the sunshine.  Brilliant blue sky.  Scents of springtime abounded.  And as I read my book (The Dragon Reborn, of course) and enjoyed the sounds of people talking all around me…I could not help but lift my eyes to the heavens and thank God for all that He has made.  Glory hallelujah.

That was yesterday and it was beautiful.  Briefly before I fly – must also mention how great Saturday night was!  Earnie and Mandy had both finally taken their PE exam on Friday and they were deliriously happy at being done with that!  Earnie feels most confident, Mandy slightly less so but I am still sure they both passed.  Anyways – since they finally now have time to have a social life again, I had them over for dinner.  I made burritos and avocado/tomato salad and we ate and talked and laughed…and many many hours later we realised it was almost 12:30 in the morning and probably a good time to part since church was indeed coming up the next (same!) day.  I just want to say though – their friendship is oh so precious to me and I am very grateful for them and the encouragement they are to me.  It even made me happy that I got to lend them a couple of my books – Revival and Revivalism by Murray and a Douglas MacArthur biography.  I love lending books to friends – it gladdens my heart!

Right.  I have now written far more than I thought I would, but I’m glad I could chronicle this wonderful past weekend.  Now, my friends, farewell.  Peace and love.

Springtime

James HoganLeave a comment

It is still…just…so…lovely outside!!  Yet again a perfect blue sky bright sunshine luscious jasmine kind of day here.  And so yes once again after work, I walked down Heights and had my (as is now tradition!) reading time on the porch there.  I keep thinking summer is here, but not yet.  Not yet.  The walk to the coffeeshop was framed in brilliantly blossoming green and flowers and all kinds of growing things…and it was all so beautiful.  It is good to consider the loving creative grandeur of our God.  And now I am back inside, about to have a relaxing sushi dinner…but thought I could at least express(faintly – oh so faintly!) the joy of my heart and the love that I feel washing over my soul.  Because, truly regardless of all the external wonders that surround, I think on the fact that I am loved by God and I realise I need no other gift than this.  The love of my Saviour.  The love of my God.

Be at peace and be at rest, all you, my dearest friends.

Tinted Blue

James HoganLeave a comment

So this morning as I drove in, I resolved I was going to try and write an actual poem this morning.  Alas, my resolve wavered and quickly fell apart once I actually sat down at my desk here.  I sadly got distracted by various emails and other things and now I can only confess my muse has been shattered in a thousand pieces and there is no chance of any creative output…at least for the now.  Honestly – it’s probably for the best as I was contemplating writing a somewhat sentimental, romantic piece…which who wants to read anyway, am I right?

So I suppose I shall just write a few more words expressing my joy at what I read this morning in my morning reading time.  Beautiful words in various places, but in my continued progression through Genesis, was encouraged anew at reading on Abraham’s life and his obedience to God.  Our Lord God came to him when he was 99 and promised that he and Sarah would have a son.  She was 90 and he was 99…and they were promised a son!  Abraham laughs, Sarah laughs, there is laughter all around.  (Even when Sarah denies it and talks back to God, “I didn’t laugh.”  Our Lord: “Oh yes you did.”  Is it bad that I laughed?)  Anyways!  God renewed his covenant with Abraham and then made circumcision the sign of this covenant and commands Abraham in this.  And what does Abraham do?  He that very day obeyed God and had himself and his whole house circumcised.  He may have laughed at the thought that he would have a son but he did not hesitate in obeying God in this awkward and somewhat painful rite.  I hope I would as eagerly and quickly obey God in my own life.  Oh may we all be so desirous to follow our Lord in all that He asks us to do!

And I could go on and talk about God sharing his plans for Sodom with Abraham and I could share how Abraham is beginning to fulfill his role as mediator as he pleads for the cities that they be spared and I could say a few words about Lot and how despite the fact that he was a righteous man whose heart was grieved at the sins of the land was nevertheless weak, sinful and fearful and subsequently mightily suffered the consequences of his sins.  But no – for now, I just want to think on the life of Abraham and that when he was confronted with the Lord God Almighty standing before him, he obeyed God.

May we all – as we with unveiled faces contemplate the glories of the Lord and meditate on the wonders of His grace to us – relish the chances we have this day to obey our God in all things.  Despite the fact that oft our hearts are hot and frantic within us, may we be at peace this day as we consider the love of Christ Jesus our Lord.

Sleeping Kittens

James HoganLeave a comment

I am having a restful evening tonight. So happy. Had a (fairly?) productive Saturday…now eating my burrito dinner and Rockets/Thunder game about to start. So I am looking forward to a fun evening of basketball with a little bit of reading on the side. The march through Owen must continue!! Quite encouraging reading about the Holy Spirit and His work…in my life and the lives of all those who believe and in all things as God wills. Alright, no rambling from me tonight. Be at peace, dear friends one and all. Peace and love.

The Grave Is No Bar To My Call

James HoganLeave a comment

Last night the thunder rumbled deep and the lightnings frequently pulsed throughout the sky and although the rain did drop but softly, the night was not quiet.  And so despite the fact that it would have been glorious to have a good night’s sleep, I am sad to report that it was not so.  And thus I am most sleepy this morning.  But I still cannot complain, for the storm heralded the cold front which has now swept through and although 58 degrees isn’t particularly cold, I will take what I can get in April in Houston.  And today as I sleepily traversed the concrete river that is I10 into work, I pondered on the fact that back in Aberdeen days, I used to be able to commute with the countryside on my right side and the North Sea on my left…oh how I do miss the beauty of those days!  Alas it is not quite as pretty driving through the heart of Houston.  Yet this morning my heart was soothed with the music from the inimitable Seaspray and I reflected on the fact that my God assuredly has His hand upon me this day.  Now and forever.  And after I had a fun coffee chat with Jacqui over in my old building, I walked back over to my office and relished the chill air of the morning and gazed at the slowly lightening pre-dawn sky, blue striated with iron-grey clouds and holding the promise of far more than the eye can see.  Just as surely as in my Genesis reading today when Abram was told to go forth and he did and was promised many wonderful things…so I know my path is laid before me and my future is certainly beautiful.  Peace and love, my friends.  Now and forever.