Apple Pie

It’s a Friday, at long last! And though I didn’t write yesterday, let me it be known that on October 11th in the year of our Lord 2018…it finally actually felt like fall for the first time all year. Temperatures in the 60s when I walked outside? I was very – most pleasantly – surprised! And today is the same. Fall is here, y’all. FINALLY. Last night, I went to EQ to get some reading time in…and I found out that everyone else had apparently also realised fall had arrived since the porch was full of far too many people and I had trouble finding a spot! Thankfully I did. Had a nice chat with Lea on phone…then eventually Fran and Haley and John showed up and we had good times hanging out in the cool autumnal air. Now, I need to start work momentarily, but as I’m far behind on my book logging…(sorry, I just keep forgetting!), I’ll jot down my last few reads:

31. Ender’s Shadow by Orson Scott Card. Yup, I am fully in OSC re-read mode. No apologies. This book is an interesting parallel companion novel to Ender’s Game. It is definitely interesting to see most of the events from Ender’s Game from a slightly different angle! Probably not quite as good as Ender’s game, but it has some poignant moments that make it totally worth it. Following Bean – a character that definitely grows on you – this was a book that I always forget how much I love. The ending especially is incredibly emotional and a line from the end of this book is currently the front-runner for the title of my next mix CD. So there you go.

32. Shadow of the Hegemon by Orson Scott Card. The second book in the Shadow series – or the Bean series, as I like to think of it. Honestly, I usually think of Ender’s Shadow as a a book on its own – since it’s set in space! – and the following 3 books as their own trilogy. Because these next books are all set on Earth and deal mostly with the geopolitics of the world following the conclusion of the Formic Wars. Fascinating stuff. I like it because…well, it’s science fiction and set several hundred years in future…but it’s also dealing with recognizable nations and cultures. So you have weary and decrepit America, aggressive Russia, expansionist India, arrogant China…and soon(but not quite in this book), the Caliphate stretching across Africa through the Middle East (and Europe I guess, with Turkey…). I love international relations and so it’s incredibly fascinating seeing Card’s simulated future! Complete with genius children leading them to war! Anyway, this book mainly deals with most of the children getting captured and Bean having to figure out how to rescue them. Finally we get to see much more of Petra, which I love because she’s an amazingly awesome character. And of course Peter Wiggin begins to emerge onto the scene. This is a fantastic book…in my humble opinion.

33. Shadow of the Giant by Orson Scott Card. So…er…yes, this is the fourth book of the series, not the third. Why did I read this one next? Well I was in Chicago this past weekend with John and Daniel. And obviously I brought a travel book – Shadow of the Hegemon. Picked up Shadow of the Giant in a used bookstore in Chicago, because it was the one book I didn’t own and figured I’d read it when I got home. I underestimated my reading speed however, and finished my travel book a few days into trip…so obviously had to read this book since I didn’t bring a backup book. Tragedy. So yes, I’m reading this series out of order. Oops? Anyway! This book is a fitting end to this series…I won’t spoiler it, but I will say I didn’t quite remember how it ended but once I finished it…definitely satisfied. One thing interesting about this book (I suppose I could go into depth, but I will refrain) is you definitely even more so get a feel for Orson Scott’s Card worldview. His Mormon beliefs very obviously inform the themes of this book(and looking back on it, the whole series) – and most obviously, the thought that having children and a family is our main purpose on this earth. By marrying a wife and having children, you “become a part of the human race” and find true meaning. Some of this echoes with my soul – i.e., I do think God designs us with a longing in our hearts for finding a partner and having children (a legacy – as cold and hard as that word sounds). But is that the true meaning of life? I would say not. And I would say it is easy to idolize family above all else, which Card gets dangerously close to. Still – it is rare to see books these days praise marriage and families at all, so I will enjoy these aspects and yet remain wary of seeing perfect fulfillment and happiness in this earthly life. Anyway!! I do go on. This book was fantastic, and once again, I found myself emotional as I finished it.

34. Rubicon by Tom Holland. I sadly do not have time to fully describe this book. A marvelous historical narrative of the last hundred years or so (really the last fifty in greater detail) of the Roman Republic. I know many of the names and bare facts of the Republic, but reading this gave me so much more knowledge of the actual people that lived during this time!! Villainous Sulla and greedy Crassus and proud Pompey and arrogant Caesar and noble Cato and fearful Cicero and enigmatic Caesar Augustus(nee Octavian)…so many tragic moments and so much bloodshed and oh so much fierce politicking and oh the depths of depravity of humanity how we never change. I simply loved this book. The fall of the Republic is something that was bemoaned even while it was happening yet…man is evil and cruel and so the events fell out as could only be expected – in total war, chaos, fear and shell-shocked resignation. There is so much in this book I could talk about, but I much enjoyed reading this history and discovering more about the Republic that was Rome.

Snooze

This is definitely one of those sleepy mornings, I have decided. Firstly I’m behind schedule – definitely slept a bit longer than I would have liked! – then I roll up to Starbucks and see Jake there…who is also very much behind his own schedule…then I talk to Emily & Deniz at the counter and they tell me they barely opened on time since one of them(who shall remain nameless…but his name starts with D) slept in and didn’t get to Starbucks until 15 min before open. So yeah, it’s one of those days apparently!! I am about to take my first sip of coffee all morning and it shall be glorious. Since I didn’t have much time this morning, decided not to even heat up my coffee so no – I am currently decaffeinated. I am grateful that I was granted a bare few minutes to read though – Psalm 101 & 102. Encouraging to read the Word of the Lord this morning, that I cannot deny. Now…figured I’d post a poem I’ve been working on. It’s a bit rare for me to post one that I’ve worked on for multiple days – a slow burn of a creative process on this one, to be sure. Honestly, I’m still not really happy with it, but…I may very well never be? So going to post it now, maybe I’ll tweak it later, who knows. Also posting because I did get someone else’s somewhat positive feedback. Meagan read it and enjoyed…but she also freely confessed that she doesn’t know poetry well…still though, I much appreciated her even reading it!! I asked what emotional response it provoked and her response was, “numbness and then longing that comes from a pensive evening walk.” You know what? I’ll take that. But let me stop my rambling discourse…and post this mess of a poem. Thanks for reading, friends.

What to do and what to say
Hear now grim creation’s lay
Dripping of doom and triumph both
The sneering triumph too hollow
to make up for the sure doom to follow.

And as the whirring gears
and humming motors
and all the churning, teeming
waves of faceless voices
create a most delightful dissonance,

a break in time and space does rupture
and in that moment
for a moment
the screens go black,
and red blinking lights go dim
and all the glories
of half told stories
tumble to the dust.

for I soft gasp in sorrow
as I stand atop the silent cliff,
starkly still,
and cold I shiver
but outward and upward and onward I look
and shaking I see
the singing sea
and the
star strewn skies
shock my shattered soul.

Flesh and blood and skin and bones,
now creation waits and groans
and with in-drawn breath and
widened, frightened eyes
softly, oh so softly
cries.

Dance the II

I have decided it is not quite time to leave Starbucks yet. So…bonus post!! As I am still oh so far behind in posting my mix playlists…I figured I better try and catch up! This is a mix I came up with earlier this year – back in March I believe. It was one of those mixes that came together remarkably quickly. Just like my best poetry, my best mixes are the ones composed in a matter of minutes(not days!!). Anyway – this mix is a little bit country and a little bit melancholy. And I love it so. I remember listening to the last few songs the night(believe it was late on a Sunday night?) I made this mix…and feeling a tad bit emotional. But hey, let me stop talking it up…and just post the track list. Humbly I present…Never Again Sighs the Dawn:

1. Nightcall – London Grammar
2. New Partner – Ciaran Lavery
3. The Rooster Moans – Iron & Wine
4. The Stable Song – Gregory Alan Isakov
5. Abrasive – Ratatat
6. Burn – Norah Jones
7. Cherry – Ratatat
8. Roll the Bones – Shakey Graves
9. Where Rainbows Never Die – The Steeldrivers
10. You’ll Never Leave Harlan Alive – Darrell Scott
11. Ghosts of Mississippi – The Steeldrivers
12. The Snake – David Ford
13. If It Hadn’t Been for Love – The Steeldrivers
14. Skin & Bone – Stu Larsen
15. Stone Walls – Three Tall Pines
16. If I Be Wrong – Wolf Larsen

Gramercy

Hello from Houston!! (And not hello from New York, where I was just a few hours ago!) I am very deeply tired now(really looking forward to a long night’s sleep!), but wanted to write just a few words while my memories are yet fresh! For yes, I just had a brief one-night vacation in NYC. Random what! Well, exceedingly so, yes. But a few months ago, I was perusing instagram(as one does) and saw that Tarja was doing a few shows in the US. Those of you who don’t know Tarja…she is the original singer of Nightwish, one of my very favourite bands. And if I was forced to choose a favourite singer of theirs(because they’ve had three over the years), I would pick her in a heartbeat. Sadly, I came to Nightwish too late to ever get to see her live with the band. But it’s always been a dream to see her live…but unfortunately her solo career pretty much never brings her to the US. Americans are uncultured and don’t appreciate her, I guess. Anyways though – her voice is oh so gorgeous. And as I saw that she was going to four cities in the US(only four!!), I pondered for a few minutes…then spontaneously decided, “You know what? I may never get the chance to see her again – I’m going to do this.” So booked a ticket for the show in NYC, got a plane ticket…and then started second-guessing myself the next day! But I’m quite glad I did this…really just having a little mini holiday in NYC was brilliant. I had an early flight out of Houston yesterday morning, landed in Newark and then made my way to the city. Had to wait a few hours to check into my hotel and it was very grey and wet and rainy(and cold!), so I hunkered down at a corner deli, had lunch and enjoyed coffee and reading for a few hours. Reading John Flavel’s “All Things Made New” currently – some truly heart-warming and most encouraging words contained therein. How wonderful it is to read of the glories and majesties of Christ!! So yes, even some quiet hours reading old Puritan writings got to be part of my vacation. Lovely.

And eventually…I walked down to my hotel, checked in and dropped my bag off, and then made my way down to Gramercy Theatre…I got there over 3 hours before doors, but I was definitely not first in line! About 20-25 people in front of me. So settled down for the long wait. Thankfully, as one does, made friends with the people I was standing with in line – had some great chat as we waited! I met Ken, your classic metal aficionado(complete with long curly hair!)…apparently he goes to some 60-80 concerts a year!! Yeah, I could not compete. Also met this man named Bill…a guy probably in his forties who still yet loves metal. It was fun talking to him because he’s definitely not your stereotypical metal fan…works in construction in the city, part of the Iron Workers Union, just your average New Yorker. We had plenty of football and baseball chat, aside from concert talk! So yeah, it was fun to make some friends. I very much am not a fan of going to a concert on my own, but since I made that decision in this case, at least I got to meet some fun people!! Later on, nearer to doors opening, talked to this one girl(never did her name!) for a while. She was probably a couple years younger than me, and upon chatting with her, realized we both got into Nightwish about the same time, back in 07/08. We had much fun talking about our favourite songs, favourite albums…all the shows we’d been to…all the singer drama, etc, etc. I have to confess, I enjoyed that much, mostly because I don’t have many people I can discuss Nightwish with!! I ended up standing next to her at the actual show too, so we got to look at each other and get excited when particular favorite songs were played!! Oh and one more thing…while we were standing in line, a few hours before showtime…I noticed the people in line were getting louder for some strange reason. Looked over to see Tarja and her husband and daughter crossing the street! They made their way into the theatre, but she was smiling and waving at us, passing a few feet in front of me – my first time seeing her, so I was a little starstruck, ok!? – and I’m sure I had a silly smile on my face as I waved back at her. Moments like this. Fun times.

But alright, enough prologue, am I right?? (But seriously, standing in line for over four hours…always fun right???) Finally, after a bit of a delay, the doors were opened and in we rushed!! I was able to maneuver my way to a pretty excellent spot on the far left. Second row!! Yes, not center, but I’ll take it! The support band played and they were…acceptable? Not my favourite, but they tried hard and gave it their all, I’ll give them that. But then finally, finally – it was Tarja time. She came out, the crowd went crazy and the show was amazing. …I honestly don’t really know how to describe it and I fear I would not do it justice. She was energetic and fiery and passionate and radiant and it all was wonderful. Seeing the classic Tarja expressions and smiles in real life…making eye contact with her as her voice rose high…seeing her dance around the stage in joy…what a wonderful, beautiful show. I must now make a small confession and say that while I do like her solo material and seeing her sing is a treat no matter what the songs are…obviously my favourite songs of hers are the ones she sung with Nightwish. So when about halfway through the show she did a medley of Nightwish songs – I was simply ecstatic(along with the girl I was standing next to – we were so much hoping she’d do some old Nightwish!!). That was for sure my favourite part of the night – hearing her sing Ever Dream…Slaying the Dreamer…!!! I never thought I’d ever get this chance to hear her sing those songs in person. And of course…hearing other great songs of hers – Innocence, Diva, Demons in You, and more…was really happy to hear her sing Diva – love that song so much and she brings such energy to it. And of course for that song, she wore a special crown. Oh Tarja. Never change. Near the end of the show(think it was the last song, possibly?) as the band rocked out, she did some of her classic Tarja headbanging…then hilariously stood up, pointed to her neck, grimaced, smiled and laughed – as if to say, “Too old to still be doing this!!” Tarja has just a magnetic stage presence. As much as I tried to enjoy the rest of the band, it was almost impossible to keep from watching her perform. Part of what makes her a legend, I suppose!!

Now, I fear this post is getting rather long, but I suppose I will – as is tradition – also confess that I couldn’t help praying for her as she sang…in one of her talking moments, she spoke of how music was her first love, great passion, etc. And you can definitely see that passion within her! But I do pray for her soul – that she will someday find a new great love, that she will come to know Christ. So many people(very obvious at show last night!) worship her, adore her, shower her with love. May she discover that all in this life is as vanity without knowing God. This I pray. And as for me – as much as I found great joy in listening to her sing…I have a higher joy than that. May I not forget that my true love is Christ! (That’s why it was so special yesterday that I got to read for a few hours in Flavel!)

So the show ended and it was sad and magnificent all at the same time. She did three songs for an encore, then the band made their bows and Tarja had that beautiful smile she always has as she waved farewell. She truly did seem so excited and happy by the love she got from us!! But finally it was over. I eventually made my way to the hotel, feeling oh so tired and having no voice!! (Yes, I yelled a bit too much. Alas) Woke up early this morning(oh wow, it was really only this morning. Seems so long ago now) so that I could take a nice early morning walk. Grabbed some coffee at Pret and made my way through the rainy streets up to 441 W 53rd Street. What is that address, you may ask? (Well, you won’t ask if you’re Mom). Because that is where Mom worked back in the day(80-81, I think) – the “Power Station”, recording studio extraordinaire! She’d sent me the address earlier, so I couldn’t help but make a pilgrimage to see it. Took some pics and called Mom while I was there! It was pretty special, I have to admit.

Eventually though…it was time to return to Houston. Walked down 8th Ave, enjoying walking amidst all the normal New York foot traffic…even though it was *still* raining! I don’t think it was dry the whole time I was there.

Now though, I’m back in Houston, sitting on my couch while John watches some The Last Jedi deleted scenes and I am oh so tired and oh so hungry. Think I’m gonna make some mashed potatoes and go across the street to get some nice spicy chicken. A good dinner, methinks. Thanks for putting up with this rambling entry(sorry for the ill-structure and repetitiveness – tiredness does not a good writer make)…as a reward – a few pics!!

Standing in line

The rather interesting support band!!

Diva

Always love a good acoustic song!! (plus Tarja’s voice!!)

Tarja forever

Outside the Power Station!!

Thanks for reading all this. Love you all!!! Now. Dinner time.

So Many Blinking Lights – is it Time to pull the lever?

Happy Friday, friends!! Not much time to write but thought I’d poke my head in. Had a delightful last night chatting with David Tombs…who is in town this weekend visiting me! So excited, so utterly fantastic to catch up and have amazing talks about so many things. Thankful to Dream that she allowed her husband to come and hang out with me!! This weekend shall be delightful, I so declare. Now I’m at work, but it is a Friday and I’m trusting it won’t be too hectic. Famous last words. But my peppermint mocha is hot and the day is young and all is rosy and bright at the moment. Saw Penelope and Katie at Starbucks and nice chats were had (as always!!) and now I suppose I should settle down to the business that is at hand. I did want to write about my luscious time reading through Psalm 37 (+38 + Proverbs 31) but…the minutes have fled too rapidly and I dare not attempt to write more. I can say that it is oh so truly beautiful to rest in my Lord and to wait patiently for Him. At the thought of being close to my God…joy fills my heart and my soul sings.

Slightly Transylvanian

A restful night. Meatloaf and green beans in oven…and mashed potatoes shall accompany once it is time for dinner. A quiet night. I am ever so grateful to my Father God for blessing me so. I have had a long weekend and my body craves rest. My heart longs for quiet. My soul cries for love. This night I lift my song of praise and thanksgiving to my Lord, my God, my Father. He has given me much. He has forgiven me everything. Thus sings my soul. A lovely night.

Five Dozen Eggs

Brief entry this morning. It is Thursday…and like most Thursdays of late, it is extremely busy with work meetings and then community group tonight, so I’m already breathing in deep in preparation for the plunge. But shall I complain? Not I, I say – especially not while I have hot black coffee steaming away in front of me, honey fragrance strong. For sure though, I can say that although I didn’t really get good sleep last night(because I went to bed far too late!), I much enjoyed the evening…went to Miller Outdoor Theatre, where a beautiful night was had watching the classic Disney movie – Beauty and the Beast. My second-fav Disney movie, I’ve always said, even though I haven’t seen it in oh so many years…but it held up and did most certainly not disappoint! The artistry was stunningly gorgeous(the rich colours! the landscapes!) and the music was just as good as I’d remembered…love it so. I remembered one of the reasons I loved it so much…Belle is a book-lover and her scene when she is shown the grand library…so much happiness!! A quality movie all around, I say. And of course – to watch it with good friends makes it all the more fun…there with John, Emily, Erica, Meagan, Amanda and others…so yes, it was a most fun midweek activity. God is good, for blessing me with such dear friends. Truly.

And now I suppose I should prepare myself for the frenetic day ahead. Peace, my friends. Peace and love.

Skinny Love

My muse burns but yet the words are dammed. Weeping, my heart sings in joy, in sorrow, in love.

And so…like so many times before, I flee to previous writings and remember the goodness of my God!!!

…and yes, so this is an excuse to run a word cloud on my poetry throughout the years. 2004-2018, inclusive of a few short stories as well. Clearly I need to stop using the word ‘now’. I’m so impatient, what can I say??

Oh my friends – be at peace this night. My heart prays for you.

Over the Hills and Far Away

And so a Monday begins (once again) and the week begins (yet again) and though the work will be hectic and I will surely get stressed at certain points…that is no matter. The moonless sky slowly lightens and the promise of deepest night’s deepest wish is sublimely fulfilled by the glory of the dawn. And so does my heart burn as I ponder the beauty of the Lord and all His promises to me. I am unworthy yet I am loved. May I meditate on the truth and love of God this day. A song is in my heart. Remember – always – that no matter the darkness that surrounds, the light is greater still.

Cannon in E

I forgot how epic and beautiful the 1812 Overture is. Listening to Bernstein’s performance of this now…so wonderful. It is absolutely fantastic music to completely wake me up and inspire me for the day. Mm wondrous music, how grateful am I to God for thee. And…on that note, I really should start “work” even though this first hour of work is comfortably at my dining table since I’m going to a meeting at Transocean at 9. So right now enjoying drinking honey-sweetened coffee from my Pascal’s mug as I prepare for another glorious day our God has made. Peace and love, y’all.