Tag: life

That Peculiar Summery Shade of Green

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Hello friends! It is Memorial Day and while I’m grateful to not have a full day of work, Dani and I are both a bit saddened that our sick and weary bodies are keeping us from enjoying a proper day off. Ah well. I had a nice little walk when I woke up this morning (walking the MKT trail before 7am is always fun – you see the real ones!) and Dani and I went for a grocery store run a few hours back, but apart from that? We have had a most lazy and quiet day. I guess that’s good? My chest congestion continues to linger and annoyingly enough I’d even guess I have a small fever just now. But someday I pray my body shall recover and I will feel healthy again. Someday! I’d also like to write something creatively. Perhaps after I dash off a couple quick book reviews. It made me happy yesterday to write a little prose, as feeble as it is at times. Ah writing always relaxes and invigorates my mind. I need more such sessions. But as I seem to be rambling on without end, let me talk a bit about a couple books and then we shall see if my rambling extends to more poetical endeavors.

43. The Seven Dials Mystery by Agatha Christie. It had been far too long since I’d read a Christie, and after finding a few new ones I’d not read before at local used book shop, was hankering to dive right in! This one scratched the itch and it made me happy (albeit confused) as I read. Christie is her usual masterful self in this one. All new characters in this – not a Marple or Poirot to be found! – and I enjoyed as always the little window into 1920s Britain. The slang is always amusing and I don’t know, I just enjoy seeing the interactions between the young men and women in this – made me realize that things haven’t changed that much in the past 100 years! The mystery was solid too – though I did get a little suspicious partway through and half-guess the villain, it wasn’t by any means obvious. Typical Christie finish here, with plenty of twists and turns and very satisfying denouement. Glad I picked this one up.

44. A Ring of Endless Light by Madeleine L’Engle. In the mood for something homey and real and encouraging, I grabbed this from the shelf as it’d been a while since I’d read it. It was exactly what the doctor ordered. Full of L’Engle’s typical mix of the mundane and the ethereal, I found myself quickly engrossed in this tale of a young girl growing up one summer as all changes around her. I love the family dynamics in this one, I love the conversations, I even somehow love the various interactions Vicky has with her 3(!!) suitors, even though I think I remember that annoying me first time around. I do love how L’Engle writes dialogue and back-and-forth conversations about serious matters. Though I don’t always agree with some of the particulars of L’Engle’s theology, I love how she asks the questions and truly engages with the possibilities raised by this broken wounded world we live in and a God who is real. This book also has L’Engle’s penchant for the strange and beautiful as we vicariously thrill through Vicky as she swims with dolphins and touches the faint after-images of the divine touch on creation’s weave. This book isn’t perfect and there is one character in particular I really don’t quite like – oh Zachary Gray! – but at the end of the day reading this book was a comfort and joy to me. We need more books like this in the world.

Sabbath Meditation

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I sometimes wish I lived in a little cottage at the top of a cliff overlooking the sea. It sounds picturesque, does it not? Imagine hearing the waves crash ceaselessly against the rocks far below. Look far out across the grey sea and smile as you imagine the sunset that is soon to be. Take a walk in the garden and feel the wind whip against your shoulders as you hear the gulls cry in melodious cacophony. Well, perhaps strike that last. But still, can you imagine sitting on the porch of your little cottage watching the soft rain fall and with a book upon your lap breathing deep the sea air? Perhaps you have a little lantern next to you for that light which becomes necessary as the sky slowly darkens. And inside you know the pot of tomato sauce bubbles away and perfumes the air for the moment when you shall step back inside to stir and inhale the scents of garlic and oregano. I think of what it would be like to have a cottage as I have described and I smile. Maybe someday. But also I know there are drawbacks to such a life. How far away the grocery store, I wonder? Perhaps thirty minutes, perhaps more! And if it is storming, of course I would not risk the muddy drive. And where are my closest friends? Perhaps not nearby. I would be lonely at times, lonely enough that my heart be sore to hurting. And the nearest library would be quite a distance away and I would know all the books on all the shelves by the sixth month, surely. But then, I suppose in this little cottage of mine I could build quite the cosy little library, could I not? So no disadvantage that.

But still my heart yearns for a quiet little home on a cliffside far away. Though at times I would miss those whom my heart holds dear, still it would do me good to gaze upon the beauty of that wine-dark sea each and every day. There is something in my soul that craves such. I would love to walk the garden path and lift my eyes to the stars above and pray to God aloud and relish the fact that He hears me true and sets his hand upon me in firm affirmation of my place at his feet. But then, I suppose I need not a cottage for that last. I can even now on my couch in this little city apartment raise my eyes to heaven and cry out to the God who knows my name. Maybe someday I’ll have this cottage to call my home sweet home. But for the now, I smile and rest in the fact that eternal life is mine no matter where this feeble frame resides. Someday I shall receive the call that even now eternity in my heart prepares me for. Someday I shall walk the garden path with the God who knows my name. Someday soon even I shall see that perfect beauty for which my soul longs. Someday I shall look into the eyes of Jesus.

Precipitation

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I have been procrastinating writing all day. It is truly tragic, is it not? One has time to write and write finally for the first time in a long time and then for some perverse reason the will decides to keep choosing other things to do instead. It is maddening, truly. So now the afternoon winds on and I had almost decided it was time to do some dinner prep but then I told myself no that it would not do and that I would write something, even if the output turns out to be quite execrable.

I really wish I could go for a nice walk. It’s been a few days since I’ve stretched my legs properly and it irks me that I feel oh so sedentary in this moment. Yet the rain has been pouring and pouring and though now it seems it’s stopped, I do not trust the sky and I shall not risk the walk, quite certain that more storms shall be rolling o’er head shortly. So. I write! What shall I write? It’s been a long week, what with me and Dani being properly sick and miserable. It’s a garden variety cold/cough for me, but Dani’s been hit much harder. Right now I’m just grateful if she’s able to keep any food or liquids down. Praying for her recovery – oh please Lord, heal her. I suppose it’s normal after a vacation for the body to finally collapse upon arriving home again, mm? Definitely our bodies have been through a lot these past few weeks, what with traveling to Italy (Rome & Positano!) and Greece (Santorini!) and I am quite a terrible chronicler in that I really should detail some of our adventures in the aforesaid, yet I can’t quite bring myself to open the spigot. Instead, I’ll close this little post and then ponder if my creative self can decide to write anything more poetic and dreamy than the dreary prose that has trickled forth thus far.

I really am in a mood, aren’t I? Yet I do long to write something beautiful. I am not quite certain if I can. Yet even if I can’t, it is good to sit here at home, dry and warm on a day when outside is damp and stormy. I will perhaps do some dinner prep now – classic burritos with tomato/avocado salad! – and then see if any writing is to be. Peace and love, my friends. Peace and love.

Anniversary

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It’s wonderful to sit down for a moment and to in the moment consider all that has come before. The moments blur and speed up as if memory has undertaken a compression activity in order to improve processing speed for the present. Perhaps that is so, if a crude way of putting it. But still ought not we take time now and again to look backwards? I find it easy to say that for perhaps that is already my natural inclination and I need no reminder. Looking back at a story unfolded and on shiny paper with letters vivid in wet ink upon the page is pleasurable. The story writ there, even if interpreted through smudged lens, is finite and bounded. The book is readable, to come to the point. But the book is lying open, is it not? It will not always be so. Someday it will be closed and there shall be another volume on the shelf which must be pulled down for the continuation. But leave that for now. That volume is for consideration at a later date – when the sea air blows fresh and the gulls call. For now, consider the open book upon the table. The pages already spoken of are wonderful to think on, but they are static. There is no changing what has been printed. The ones still to come? Well, they are a bit blurry, you might say. Yes, perhaps with the right glasses one could read them. But I certainly can’t. You neither, I think. It takes eyes of a divine nature and alas our nature is a bit fractured and marred, nowhere close to the divine that has granted us its imprint. Still we squint. And perhaps certain words can be read here and there, but perhaps to not to be able to read the rest is a blessing in and of itself. I think if I could read the reminder of this volume, I’d need to sit down for a bit, dizzy and faint for that which is not my burden to bear in this moment. Instead, I lift the book up and look at the name of the author on the spine. Ah yes. I’m in good hands. I don’t exactly know how this volume will conclude. Yet I do know it will be an ending worthy of the name. And then as I spoke of before, there is always the volume yet to come. Oh how I do look forward to that one. It shall be a pleasure beyond description to read that one. Someday. Someday.

Domestic

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Hello friends! A Tuesday evening post here, a bit rare that. But I do have a few minutes to sit here on the couch and rest and why not? I’m feeling simultaneously tired and happy at the moment. A long work day accomplished. Then some errands with the Dani. It’s been a grey drippy day all throughout and what better at the end of a long wet day? A nice hot bowl of soup with fresh bread, says I. So…well get to work, James – I said to myself! Vegetables have been chopped and a quick dough has been whipped up and now the ham and bean soup simmers on the stove and bread is baking in the oven. Thankfully I’m not quite hungry yet as I feel the soup needs a couple hours to really come together. We’ll get there. Even if we do end up eating dinner about 8pm tonight! That all being said – far too much talk about dinner I suppose! – I really just wanted to write a few words on a normal little day here. Sometimes we crave to chronicle the momentous happenings of life and such is good. But I also think it important to record days like this. A quiet little Tuesday in which life is lived even if there is nothing big or grand about it. Living itself is something that points to the miraculous is it not? So I now lift my head and sigh, grateful for a hearty dinner ahead and a warm dry home and a book about to be read. I am truly blessed, that I cannot deny.

In All of Time and Space

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A momentary beauty and a fundamental truth encourages me in this day that feels so real and present yet I know by tomorrow it will be yet another wafer thin page quickly fading in my memory to mist. But does that fact that the existing moment in the present is quickly shoved aside to become ever less important in the grand scheme of the timeline that rushes stubbornly in one direction mean that moment is in actuality less important or is it only a trick of perception? I would argue so though it is difficult to state my case when I can say for almost certainty that if this earth still spins a few hundred years hence there will be no one left alive who remembers my name (and certainly not my face). I’ve had the thought myself when looking at old photo albums – who is that? No clue. Turn the page. Page turned and accomplished and we move forward in swaggering sureness of importance of self. Hard to think otherwise when one exists as one does and can only reference to self because well one thinks as oneself does one not? Oh pardon me for this angst induced overly indulgent existential rage. I am proud and selfish as most of us tend to be, us mere humans scraping through the rubble of our shattered dreams attempting to salvage an idea of the grand reality that was promised. Does your heart thrill to that thought too? Is there a true myth that causes your heart to skip a beat and the hair to rise upon your neck as you put your hand to your lips as unconsciously you yearn for a taste of the miraculous? Or is it only again the scrabbling through the ashes of the forest attempting to construct a mansion out of trees that never could bear the weight of expectations as you turn your face aside to cry? I ask for your forgiveness, friend. My thoughts dance ahead of my reason and I fear the turmoil of my heart is now bare for all to see. What is this lot of mine, this suffering? Do you hurt too? I ache for that weight of glory. I beg for the veil to be removed. I crave to live in a real house someday. I can’t bear this tent much longer, surely not. But there is a sense of something beautiful in the corner of my eye and I rest my hand upon the truth that truly never lies. Someday resurrection will be seen face to face. For now though I see not, I believe. I can’t help but otherwise when the fire burns within me so.

Fits and Starts

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Sidewalk strolls seldom feel entirely purposeless when the sky so shyly smiles as she does presently. Involuntarily I smile and lift my head up in silent prayer. It is good to sing a new song this day. Puddles abound and the birds chirp. The earth has been freshly washed and the bayou runs high and I marvel at the many waters flowing underneath my feet. The bridge bounces as past me runs another who loves the early mornings. The sky’s face is veiled behind a thin layer of clouds. Some would say this early morning grey is a bit of a dull affair especially when the air has chilled so. I would beg to differ. There is a special kind of beauty in early morning sky when the predominant colours are soft grey and pale gold. My heart sings in harmony with the notes of this new day. I close my eyes and lean over the bridge and let my imagination run afore me as I ponder the now and not yet and think on all that is to come when I am truly home. I open my eyes and see in the far distance the skyline rising through the fog. There is a shimmer or sort of sparkle as a ray of sun bounds through. And my eyes change color too. From grey to green they progress in the light of morning’s fullness.

Home By Eleven

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Hello friends! A rainy Saturday here and it’s nice to be warm and dry inside with nothing on the agenda this evening. Well, maybe some reading and perhaps some Great British Baking Show shenanigans. And I do hope some reading as well! But we shall see. I’m a bit tired but it’s not even 7pm yet so surely I can’t even start to consider bedtime yet. So thought I’d log a few of my latest reads and perhaps I’ll write more later? Nah I don’t want to promise that. But here we go, let’s talk about some books most briefly.

26. Disaster on Windy Hill by Lois Walfrid Johnson. The Northwoods series comes to a close! I do like this book and think it’s a lovely little capstone to the series. Finally they are all back at home again and we get the whole family and Kate continues to grow up and though the plot is pretty basic, the character arc is what matters here. Love to see Kate growing up into a strong woman of God. And some truly memorable scenes here, my favourite being when Kate witnesses Papa go out to the woods to seek the Lord and read the Bible in a time of hardship and fear. Might I remember this. Where do I go when I fear and my heart quakes? May I also cry out to the Lord in my distress, to one who shows lovingkindness to me his child!

27. Lost in a Good Book by Jasper Fforde. Another absurd romp by the literary mastermind Fforde. He really is quite a clever writer and I found myself much amused by this one. I suppose it really helps to have a good grounding in books and literary topics and I doubt I would have appreciated this one half as much if I read it fifteen years ago. Reading it now…well, it was simply superb. I don’t want to spoil overmuch, but the first part of the book is good, though just kind of ridiculous and off the wall. But about halfway through, when Thursday starts to enter other…er…dimensions…the book just becomes superb , tickling my fancy to the extreme. If you are a book lover and appreciate a book that doesn’t take itself too seriously and is wacky and fun and also chockfull of clever wordplay and bookish illusions….well, you’ve come to the right place.

28. Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery. Didn’t quite think I’d read this book again so soon after my last read, but ended up reading it for book club this month and though I probably could have foregone the read and just gone off memory…of course I had to read it again. And oh this one still delights. Some may wonder why this book resonates so much with my soul. I doubt I can fully explain but I just know my heart thrills when reading this one. Such simple sweetness, such profound beauty. I love reading of the good and the beautiful and the human, and this book delights in all the ways. It’s brilliantly written – Montgomery has such a way with words and so many wonderful turns of phrase. The humour is top-notch and I found myself laughing out loud multiple times as I read! Yes Anne is a bit ridiculous and at times overly whimsical and full of drama. Oh so many mishaps and misadventures! Still yet we see her grow into a young woman who loves deeply and begins to think of others before herself. I do so love how the author alternates between scenes of nature that delight the imagination and lengthy passages of dialogue where you can just hear Anne speaking her heart and soul. This book is one that reminds me of the sheer beauty of the world in which we walk and breathe and also speaks of the wonder of what it is to be human. So many times as I read a short descriptive paragraph of the path Anne was walking, I found myself smiling as my heart warmed as I imagined walking there myself.

I did find one passage that I marked in a past read and I wondered why it was the only passage I had marked off. Read it and then nodded to myself. Yup, I agree with past James. This passage thrums a chord deep in my heart and I shall close with this now. “It’s nice to be eating ice cream at brilliant restaurants at eleven o’clock at night once in awhile; but as a regular thing I’d rather be in the east gable at eleven, sound asleep, but kind of knowing even in my sleep that the stars were shining outside and that the wind was blowing in the firs across the brook.”

According to Some

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Hello friends! Happy Saturday!! I would promise I’d write a nice newsy post just now, but I really won’t be doing any such thing. It has been a most lovely full day here and I am now at the point where there are a few minutes for me to sit on the couch and rest and I think I desire some reading time (cue everyone’s shocked face). Tomorrow I will try and write. I think. But truly, today was beautiful. A nice walk down to coffeeshop and precious moments reading and meditating on the truths of God. Back home to Dani and then we were off for breakfast tacos! All the yummy tacos were devoured as is proper. Following that, errands and driving around city for us, or adventure times, as Dani and I like to say. Home once again, were we done? Of course not. A MKT walk was enjoyed in the fading evening sun and then one more grocery store errand before home again. Really this was not an efficient day. But does everything have to be about efficiency? Today was a beautiful day enjoying the small wonders that my God has granted me. I am ever so grateful and my heart is full.

Now? About to read some of the “Apostolic Fathers” and perhaps some Anne of Green Gables following. Chopin plays in the background. A candle flickers softly. Eventually dinner time shall be had. And Dani and I will look at each other and smile in most certain love.

Second Spring

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Good morning friends! About to dive into the maelstrom of work and become reacquainted with all the projects that I had left behind (and hopefully discover that my unread emails are in the 3-digits and not 4-digits) but I can breathe deep now and thank my God for being with me no matter what storms befall me. Grateful for time this morning to sip on my coffee and read good true words and meditate on the God who died for me. I wish I had more time to chronicle all the doings in Florida these past days, but maybe later, we shall see. Ever so thankful to my God for all he has given to me. I sometimes don’t quite understand the mercies that have been shown me. I walk down that aisle with a bouquet of death, possibly not that attractive in my graveclothes. Yet I walk. Miraculously so. And then somehow my garments transfigured and my face shining, I approach my Lord. It is good to meditate on such thoughts as these. Each and every day presents its own challenges, its own trials and tribulations. Yet I live in the light of the glory that is being found in Christ. My heart strums in vibrant harmony with the song creation sings unceasing. Stars and seas lift up their voices and I cannot help but hum along.