Tag: journal

What is Not to Love?

James HoganLeave a comment

Hello friends – happy Saturday!! I am posting at a later time than usual this Saturday…and a not-normal place. Currently sitting on my couch as I enjoy my raspberry/banana/spinach smoothie…most notably not at Starbucks, shocker! But I’ll explain why in a bit. It’s been a beautiful Saturday so far…starting off with sleeping in until 6, which was much enjoyed(and much needed). It’s been a long week, with work just being crazy busy and moderately stressful and most tiring all the way around. So last night was an enjoyable relaxing evening. Dinner of fish and potatoes followed by reading…started reading John Owen Vol 3 – “The Holy Spirit”. It may take me a year to read it but it will be glorious. Over six hundred pages of very small words…in sentences that are not easy to understand. But oh so worth it and oh so beneficial and encouraging to my soul. Thus continues my lifetime quest to read all of John Owen.

Anyways! This morning as said previously, woke up at 6, enjoyed a nice coffee and reading time here at the flat. Then went down to Black Walnut for a nice breakfast with Julie! We haven’t had time to get together in quite some time…so as I enjoyed my salmon eggs benedict and honey-sweetened coffee, we had much good chat(and at least on my side – I was much encouraged!!). Oh what a sweet friend is she. Following that, went to Men’s Wearhouse to get fitted for my suit for Julian’s wedding(which is in January and I can’t wait! Kelsey and him are perfect together – such a God-honouring couple. Truly glorious shall this wedding be!). After that, did a few other errands…then stopped at Starbucks where I truly meant to sit down and get some writing done. I got distracted by Katie who had just got off her shift and was having lunch before preparing to study for some of her classes. We ended up talking for over an hour about sundry topics…a totally unplanned conversation that was very enjoyable nonetheless! I do so love talking with someone that loves God and seeks to honour Him in all things. Very thankful to God for this random talk that He blessed me with!!

Following chat with Katie, I realized it was past lunchtime and I still needed to do my food shopping. No time to stay at Starbucks and write alas! So left Starbucks and went and did my HEB/Trader Joe’s run and finally made it home…talked with John and Camille for a bit before they ran off and I sort of enjoyed some leftover soup that needed to be eaten.

Now…I’m sitting here on the couch, half-watching the Michigan State/Indiana game(incredibly boring 3-3 game at the moment…) while I write this entry. This is a bit of rambling entry, but it’s been a while(I think?) since I’ve done one of these, so I will indulge myself. Soon I shall be off to Starbucks(yes, again!) to meet up with Earnie and Julian. It will be a sweet time of fellowship with dearest friends, of that I have no doubt. And because I really have nothing else to write…I guess I’ll sign off? Oh! I do have a poem that I need to finish and post at some point, but don’t think I have the muse at the moment. It’s the kind of poem that needs to be written at early-weekday-morning time…with the melancholy that can only come from brooding at work in the early dark. So – maybe next week you’ll get to see that.

Oh one more thing. Pizza Hut commercial just came on. I cannot wait until I can eat that again. It will be BEST NIGHT EVER.

Now I really shall end this. Peace out!

tEcHnO

James HoganLeave a comment

A lunchtime update! Shocking!! But, I thought I might as well be random. Why not, right?

Firstly – I’m def enjoying my tuna fish sandwiches just now. I never knew sandwiches could taste so good…(plenty of Old Bay to assist with the awesomeness, of course). Secondly…past few work days I’ve been rocking out to assorted techno playlists on the youtube…surprisingly good work music, for some reason! Don’t be surprised if at some point soon I publish a new playlist with these influences. It’s coming. dance Vol 2. Of course – I need to figure out a catchier, more appropriate name. We shall see.

Now, gonna finish my lunch and then it’s time to drive over to Transocean for meeting times. Yay?

Peace.

Meanderings

James HoganLeave a comment

Happy Monday, all!! I have a couple minutes to write and thought I’d just share a few thoughts. Right now, enjoying my peppermint mocha – and realizing how blessed I truly am. Sometimes it’s easy to feel alone(a la Elijah in 1 Kings 19)…and then God reminds us how false that presumption is!! “I have reserved yet 7000 that have not bowed the knee to Baal”…and I’m comforted by that. Even today, as I’m waking up and preparing for another day and another week of work and not feeling entirely joyful about the prospect, I had a good chat with barista Katie at Starbucks…spent a few minutes talking about our respective churches and fellowships and struggles and joys…and how good it is to have close friends that worship the same God, even if we don’t get as much time with those friends as we would like! So even a chance encounter with a fellow sister in Christ at Starbucks encourages me so – as God knew it would and as God knew I needed!! I have been continually reminded of how many reasons I have to praise God and thank Him for His abundant lovingkindnesses!

Now…just a few thoughts on a few various verses I read this morning…

But as for me, I shall sing of Your strength;
yes, I shall joyfully sing of Your lovingkidness
in the morning, for You have been my stronghold
and a refuge in the day of my distress.
O my strength, I will sing praises to You;
for God is my stronghold, the God who shows me
lovingkindness.
-Psalm 59:16-17
I do love these verses – how easy is it in the “day of our distress” to sink into ourselves and moan and complain and feel that “woe is me”. But no, our response – even in the morning when we are sleepy and not entirely coherent – should be to sing of our Lord’s lovingkindness. For He truly is our stronghold and our refuge and the only One in whom we can put our trust. He showers love upon us and so even when we feel that is not the case, remember that the Lord’s lovingkindness is everlasting nonetheless and sing.

He who gives attention to the word will find good,
and blessed is he who trusts in the Lord.
-Proverbs 16:20
A reminder to trust the Lord…which is oft so needed(at least by me!) – when all else fails and withers on the vine, we are told to heed the word which has been given to us…and trust in God. In God and in God only is our trust, our hope, our song.

When the kingdom of Rehoboam was established and strong,
he and all Israel with him forsook the law of the Lord.
-2 Chronicles 12:1
A chilling verse. This is how the chapter begins – it comes after a chapter in which the kingdom was prosperous and Rehoboam was building fortified cities and all was well. And then we see something that should give us pause. We think that in times of peace and prosperity – surely that means God is blessing us and we can relax! And yes, we can and must thank God for all He has given us, but we must be vigilant and not lean on a staff of our own uprightness. How scary is this – a king and his whole kingdom were happy and prosperous and safe. And what did they do? They…forsook the law of the Lord. May it never be. Long to obey God in all things as His beloved children. May we beware of complacency and laxness in the things of the Lord. Keep yourselves from idols.

And there will no longer be any night; and they will not
have need of the light of a lamp nor the light of the sun,
because the Lord God will illumine them;
and they will reign forever and ever.
-Revelation 22:5
Not much commentary on this verse, other than I really like it a lot. “And there will no longer be any night…” Oh what a glorious thought – no darkness or foulness or bleakness or night. Never again will the curse of sin blight the land and darken our souls on that glorious day when returns the King of kings and Lord of lords. Indeed come quickly, Lord Jesus. (Note the last part of that verse…*we* will reign forever and ever under the authority of our God!! Most thrilling and most humbling indeed)

Moved with compassion, Jesus stretched out His hand
and touched him, and said to him, “I am willing; be cleansed.”
-Mark 1:41
Lastly but not leastly…how does Jesus feel toward those who are desperate for Him? He here is moved with compassion. Oh to know that Jesus is not just all-seeing and all-knowing and all-powerful…he is all-loving. Who would ever even want to be in the same room with a disgusting leprous person? And what does Jesus do? He reaches out. He touches him. He heals him. Because he wants to. So is it with us…Jesus has compassion upon us – we who are foul and unclean and impure and utterly hostile to Him – and He reaches out to us and heals our hearts and purifies our souls and makes us His. Oh what compassion – oh what love!! The worst that we have done…He has forgiven us. Think on that, this morning – if you will. And if you do not know Jesus and wonder if this is truly for you…well, I just ask you this. Do you know that you are a sinner? Do you understand your filth and the darkness in your heart has sunk you utterly and separated you from the God of the universe? Do you realize there is nothing in you that is any good? Oh how that should horrify you. Oh how that should frighten you. Oh how that should make you tremble. But fear not – because despite the yawning gap between you and God – there is a Way to Him. Jesus reaches out to you – He longs for you to be with Him forever. Indeed He does more than reach out – He died a horrific death over two thousand years ago…so that He might bring people into communion with Him – so He might save their souls. He died yes. And then three days later He rose again – proving that He is indeed the Son of God and the One who has power over death! So this Jesus is full of compassion…for you. Yes, you may be lost and drowning in a pit of despair. But fear not – there is hope. Repent of all the evil deeds you have done and call upon the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. And you shall be saved to life eternal with God on High. There will be no more night, ever again.

That was far too many words…but sometimes it is good to write. And even if my words are all too feeble – as they truly are – my heart whispers continually of longings to be with my God and I cannot help but scribble down these cries.

Third Quarter

James HoganLeave a comment

So…I came to Starbucks with the intent to write and maybe create something beautiful. Instead – I ended up running into a couple friends(hello Earnie and Kevin!) and now that they’re gone, I’ve most definitely not done anything creative at all. Instead, I realised I haven’t copied over my poetry from livejournal into my word file for a while so I went ahead and did that. Now, getting a hankering to perform some analytics on my poetry…clearly work is affecting me. Ah well, since the creative side of my brain is sulking and not cooperating, I suppose I’ll let the engineering side have some fun. Looking at all the poetry I’ve written since…a long time ago – here’s the count of “poems” by year. Obviously many of these both were and are not that well written, but I still do so love writing. An outlet of my emotions. A window into my heart, my soul….

2004: 5
2005: 7
2006: 6
2007: 6
2008: 9
2009: 4
2010: 6
2011: 8
2012: 10
2013: 9
2014: 5
2015: 3
2016: 9
2017: 11

So those numbers don’t really tell me that much, except for things I already knew(my Scotland period was extremely inspiring!! and…this year has been an interesting one. I’ve already hit my record and I have over two months to go!). I have some other poems I’ve hand-written in various notebooks but I don’t have the desire to dig through all of those to add to my file!! Maybe someday(probably never). Also – if I write two more poems, I will hit 100. Fascinating. (Ok, not really). I hope this poetry analytics hasn’t bored you all too badly!! I’m now going to stop indulging myself and will sign off and go off to store for shopping time! Have a most beautiful day, my friends – my love is with you all. Always.

A Candle Carried Up the Steps

James HoganLeave a comment

I will yet catch up on my mix CDs…(as long as I don’t make more anytime soon)…so here is another one. This one is a bit of a different style for me yet again – I could call it my punk/rock mix, which it kinda is. I’ve for a while wanted to have a “Best of Greenday” CD…but I don’t quite have enough songs for a whole CD for that. So I decided to just make a whole punk CD. Why not, right? Consequently though – this isn’t the most “cheery” playlist. It’s a great soundtrack for driving furiously through Houston though!! And how do I explain it thematically…? Well, I could say it’s the cry of a heart that knows something is missing but knows not what. Or the rage of a girl who just thinks she has it all together…until she doesn’t. Or the tears of a boy who is breaking on the inside and no one knows and no one cares. Or I could let the title speak for itself. I cautiously (and somewhat guiltily) present…Lost and Not Yet Found:

1. Girlfriend – Avril Lavigne
2. The Best…Thing – Avril Lavigne
3. Sk8er Boi – Avril Lavigne
4. Complicated – Avril Lavigne
5. Hitchin’ A Ride – Greenday
6. She’s A Rebel – Greenday
7. Holiday – Greenday
8. Boulevard of Broken Dreams – Greenday
9. Jesus of Suburbia – Greenday
10. Homecoming – Greenday
11. Hello Again – Lost Prophets
12. Wake Up – Lost Prophets
13. Last Train Home – Lost Prophets
14. Last Summer – Lost Prophets
15. Embers and Envelopes – Mae
16. Christie Road – Greenday
17. Wake Me Up When September Ends – Greenday
18. Time of Your Life – Greenday

I did send this CD to Laura and Caisson and I don’t remember their thoughts on it. Must remedy that and see what they thought! Also, this playlist is an interesting one for me in how many of these songs nostalgically take me back to late high school and early college days…fascinating how music does that, mm? Last Summer and Time of Your Life in particular recall very specific and special memories from end of high school…some twelve years ago now! Ah how my God has blessed me and will continue to do so. To Him be all glory – always.

Lanterns in the Sky

James HoganLeave a comment

Happy Friday, friends!! I really have nothing to say – it’s the end of a fairly productive week here at work and I’m happy that it’s almost time for a restful(I hope!?) weekend. We shall see!! But for now, I will thank my God for all He has granted me…even for this peppermint mocha that I am drinking now! May I always remember the faithfulness of my God. As He has loved me, so may I love others. As He has been patient with me…so may I be patient in waiting for that which I desire. Now as I ponder and think on various matters, I am at peace. My hope is in something far better than the things of this world. My hope is in something far more beautiful than anything of this earth. My heart craves the temporal vanity of this world too often. Yet eternity waits.

Oh So Woke

James HoganLeave a comment

Right – I was going to post a nice long meandering entry this morning at Starbucks. Sadly, when I first got here there was no convenient table near an outlet and my battery was low, thus I was restricted to writing in my notebook for a time instead. Now I don’t have long as I must be off homewards so I can have lunch and get on with the rest of my day! So this entry will have to wait…maybe tomorrow. I wanted to write on some of my concert experiences and some of my recent thoughts on suffering for Christ and really just let my fingers dance across the keyboard for a time. Alas, maybe later.

But I shall at least share my joy at this wonderful morning. Clearly I have been in Houston too long and am much corrupted by that fact…but as it was barely 80 degrees this morning, I couldn’t help but roll down the window and let my arm hang outside the car as I drove…fall is finally (basically, kinda) here and it is glorious!! And as I drove down Briar Forest Drive…I was reminded again of the goodness of the Lord. This road I drove down was adorned with many overhanging boughs and hedges of flowers and kindred things and for a time, I could feel as if I was driving down an old country road in the Scottish countryside. For a time. So my God this morning has granted me a blessed experience of the lovely world that He has made…and I remembered anew all that my God has done for me. Maybe someday I will live somewhere where I am able to more often see the beauties of the world that God has made…but for now, I shall be grateful for these quiet glimpses of forest grandeur.

Peace and love, always.

Jazz and Coffee and Sun Most Bright

James HoganLeave a comment

So thought it was time to post another one of my recent(eh – sort of – sometime earlier this year at least!) mix CDs. This one is a fun one, with a very brooding first 3/4…you may not know most of these songs, but I have much enjoyed this CD. I have fond memories of this CD…the first time I listened to this one was when driving to Earnie and Mandy’s wedding reception up in the country north of Houston. Driving along a winding country road to the beat of quality tunes…good times indeed. Will always remember that! (Side-note – just had Earnie and Mandy over last night…much good chat was had over chocolate chip cookies and wine. Quality combination? I say yes!)

Back to the mix…there is also a few more foreign language songs than I usually would put on a CD. I think I have Portuguese, French and Arabic all represented! I know at least Caisson and Laura like this one, since I sent them one copy when I first made it!!
Laura was just listening to it when I called her the other day. Anyways…let me present…Long My Imprisoned Spirit Lay:

1. Silence – Portishead
2. The Rip – Portishead
3. Sour Times – Portishead
4. Lise – Emilie Simon
5. To The Dancers in the Rain – Emilie Simon
6. Demier Lit – Emilie Simon
7. Desert – Emilie Simon
8. Ya Sidi – Orange Blossom
9. We Carry On – Portishead
10. Starve the Ego, Feed the Soul – The Glitch Mob
11. Fortune Days – The Glitch Mob
12. Small – Portishead
13. Sing it Out – Switchfoot
14. Hello Hurricane – Switchfoot
15. Lightning – Morningsiders
16. Empress – Morningsiders
17. I Built a Home – The Branches
18. Fight to Keep – Run River North

Expressly Yours

James HoganLeave a comment

I’m listening to my Enfield playlist as I sit here in Starbucks and I have to say – I forgot how amazing these songs are!!! Oh how I love so many of these classic hymns. There is a Fountain, And Can It Be?, Jesus I My Cross Have Taken, O The Deep Deep Love of Jesus…etc, etc, etc. Gorgeousness. I’m tempted to write ALL THE VERSES from one of my very favourites – Jesus, I my Cross Have Taken…but I shall spare you this time. I’m pretty sure I’ve done that sometime in the past. And I’m pretty sure I will do it again sometime in the future.

It is good to remember the mercies of the Lord.

And while I’m in a pondering mood, thought I’d write some thoughts I was thinking last night. Was wearing one of my favourite shirts – a nice bright blue shirt with the words “HONOUR”, “LOYALTY”, “VALOUR” superimposed over a lion rampant. It’s interesting that these words are (apparently) held in such high esteem and I was wondering – what do those words really signify to people today? According to the Oxford English, honour means “high respect” or “great esteem” or “the quality of knowing and doing what is morally right”. In the same, loyalty means “the quality of being loyal” or “a strong feeling of support or allegiance”. As for valour…”great courage in the face of danger, especially battle”. Do those words truly mean anything to most of us these days though…or are they just empty concepts that make us feel better about ourselves? What do we have high respect or great esteem for? Or do we just crave that esteem for ourselves? What are we truly loyal to? Or whom? And when do we show great courage these days? Is it in day-to-day life or just in the contrived fantasies of our mind?

I think we like to think more highly of ourselves than we ought and it is self-flattering to think that we exhibit these qualities of honour, loyalty and valour in our everyday lives. But do we truly? Is there a higher calling that beckons us to live in such a way? I would say there is. But it is not in the way most would commonly think. We ought to live in such a way that every action of our life brings great honour and glory to our God. We ought to live in such a way that everything we do proves our loyalty and faithfulness to our God. And we ought to live our lives coloured by valour and courage in the face of trials and tribulations and all that stands against us as we strive to please our God. Do these things come easy? Of course not. And we are frail creatures and oft exhibit the opposite virtues…we feel shamed, unfaithful and craven as we disobey our God in thought, word and deed. But. But. If we truly put our faith in Christ for our salvation – God has saved us! Not because of deeds that we have done. But because of His great love.

And so because God loved us when we were so eminently unlovable and because our God has filled us with His Holy Spirit and because Christ daily intercedes for us before the Father…now we can exhibit these qualities of godly honour, godly loyalty and godly valour. Let us remember that. We can do all things through Christ who grants us strength. Go forth this day and honour God in all things. Go forth this day and seek to be loyal to God in every word you speak. Seek to live in valour before our God. For truly, He is our Lord. He is our God. And He loves us.

What a wondrous thing it is to be known by God. We are His dearly loved children. Amen and amen.

A Fountain Flowing

James HoganLeave a comment

Hello friends – happy Saturday!! I have a few moments in Starbucks this morning, and as I sip my peppermint mocha…decided I should catch up(a bit) on sharing my mix-CDs playlists. I haven’t done it for quite some time and I’ve burned some four(I think?) new mixes in the past months. Anyways – this one is going back a ways…but it is a good one, I say. So let me share…A Blinding Jewel of Light and Beauty:

1. A Mess Like This – The Dø
2. Lost Boy – Ruth B
3. 1901 – Birdy
4. Empty Gold – Halsey
5. Ace of Hearts – Zella Day
6. Song for Lovers – The Dø
7. My Heart Got Caught on Your Sleeve – Lucius
8. The District Sleeps Alone Tonight – Birdy
9. Sleeping In – The Postal Service
10. Don’t Make Me a Target – Spoon
11. The A Team – Birdy
12. The Sun – The Naked and Famous
13. Until We Get There – Lucius
14. Infinity – The XX
15. Foxbeard – Run River North
16. Till The End of Time – A Boy And His Kite
17. You’ll Find Your Way – Andrew Peterson
18. Always – Switchfoot
19. O Day of Peace – Josh Garrels

A pretty solid mix, if I do say so myself. I’m trying to think if there’s any themes I want to talk about from above…but really, it just follows my typical pattern of messiness and yearning and chasing solace and lostness in the beginning two-thirds…then finally it turns and a new hope is revealed. I’m pretty fond of this one.

Have a most gorgeous day, my dear ones.