Tag: journal

James HoganLeave a comment

GUESS WHAT.

It is cold here. Like…in the 40s!!! It was great walking to the gym and feeling the wintry air blowing around me!! And driving home was simply marvelous…the clouds hung heavy in the sky, so still they seemed to be painted onto the roof of the world, and yet the deep purple swirls and dark grey tendrils and light blue dapples were more beautiful than a painting could ever be. And as I drove over the highway the sun appeared and light dropped from the reaches of the heavens and dripped onto the clouds like butter on popcorn, bathing the sky in a heavenly golden glow and dwarfing all the nearby buildings of concrete and steel in the magnificence of the setting of the sun.

Oh, what a beautiful day.

James HoganLeave a comment

I’m listening to the rain softly come down outside my window as I sit inside nice and warm and eat my peach yogurt in sweet contentment. Just got home from work a few minutes ago and so nice to unwind and relax…and I thought that it has been a while since I’ve done a proper update…so here we go!!

I wish I had time to write about everything that’s happened since my last update, but that would probably take all night and then I wouldn’t have any dinner and I would be very sad. So this will just cover this past week! In which…Thanksgiving happened!! This past summer, I was trying to decided if I would travel to Tampa or not for Thanksgiving, but I finally came to the conclusion that I would miss my family too much…and thus would have to come home(sorry Deanna!!). So on Wednesday night I drove from work to the airport and flew back to wonderful Florida!!! Dad and Maryanne and Laura picked me up at the airport and we went home!!! It was such an extreme joy seeing everyone again…and being able to relax at home and sleep in my old bed! Wednesday night I probably should have gone to bed early…but nah. Stayed up talking to the fam for a while and even after the parents went to bed, stayed up with Maryanne and Laura just talking and reliving old times…and enjoying the goodness of the LORD in giving me such a family of awesomeness!!

Next day(oh dear, we are going to be here for a while, aren’t we?) was Thanksgiving!! I slept in really late and then had coffee with the fam and pretty much just enjoyed the Tampa morning…and then came afternoon, in which we went over to Steve and Vickie’s for Thanksgiving!! As always, it was such sweet times being with them…we took a bunch of pictures early on(I think me and Maryanne and Laura MAY have gotten one or two good ones of the three of us…) and played with the dog in the backyard before having dinner. Dinner was abundant and glorious and supremely delicious: tender turkey, buttery potatoes, my favorite stuffing, black and green olives, mouth-watering asparagus….and the list goes on and on…and of course the decadent pumpkin and cherry and pecan pies came later. But of course, the food wasn’t the best part. The best part was being with my family and relaxing in the goodness of the LORD together. And truly, I can’t explain it any better than that.

Friday started off a bit early as I woke up and drove towards Dunedin….for what purpose you may ask?? Well, Shari was in town!! We knew we were near each other so we decided what could be more perfect than a breakfast together?? We met at First Watch and had the most awesome time hanging out…I have to say, I let my food linger way too long as it was so much more fun to catch up with Shar and just enjoy her company…I do so enjoy being able to talk and relax with good friends!! Sadly, time flowed by far too quickly and we soon had to part ways…as I had shopping to do! Well, not really. But I’d planned to take my sisters to the mall, so to the mall we went! I didn’t buy anything, but it was fun just to walk around and see the massive throng of people in pursuit of happiness. Actually, did I say fun? It was actually kind of depressing…just knowing that the pleasures of this world are so fleeting and can never truly satisfy the hole in our souls. And knowing that those who are blind chase after the joys of this world because they are lost and know nothing else. Or no One else. Because only Jesus can truly satisfy. And He satisfies truly!

And now to get back to the narrative, after our mall adventure, we all went and got a Christmas tree! That night was spent relaxing with the family and enjoying some yummy apple pie. We had to go to bed a bit early because the next day…an adventure was in store!!

The next morning, me and Maryanne got up early and made the journey to the land of the Gators…to Gainesville I returned!! Since it was the day of the Gators/Noles game, the traffic was horrendously slow…and it took us about four hours to make the normally two hour trip. Upon arriving, we drove around Gainesville picking up our tickets(yay Laura K for giving me hers!!!!!) and finally we entered the Swamp in eager anticipation of the game to come!! It was Tim Tebow’s last game and everyone was both mournful(over his loss) and exultant(over his magnificent career!). It always seems a bit weird to me how much praise and adulation people can heap onto one man(the flashbulbs from the cameras on his last drive…wow, it was like a horde of fireflies in a perfectly dark night!!) and ignore the God who made him so…but that’s how it is. Me and Maryanne sat in the RUF block where we found Cindy and later Dream and David and Katie!! Again, so amazingly awesome to see good friends after long separations!! The game was triumphant, as predicted(Gators 37, Noles 10!!) and while I enjoyed watching the game and enjoying the domination of the Gator Nation, I enjoyed even more being with Maryanne and friends. Truly, I wonder why I doubt the goodness of the LORD at times, when I see what amazing friends and family He has given to me on this earth!! And after bidding farewell to everyone in Gainesville, I made the drive back to Tampa, arriving home exhausted but happy.

And as I am now getting VERY hungry, Sunday sadly won’t get too long of a paragraph. Church was so sweet – again, seeing everyone and talking and sharing my life in Houston with the Tampa gang! After church, went home where Dad made pork chops and potatoes and green beans and we feasted on that as I enjoyed my last meal with my mom and dad for some time…

After some yard work and last-minute packing, I was off to the Tampa airport!!

It was kind of hard coming back to work on Monday morning, but I am truly grateful for my job. I just miss my family and friends…and though I sometimes wish they could all be in Houston with me…that’s not the way things are! And so I know there are awesome people and things here in Houston that I’ve been blessed with…and I rejoice. And I know that weather I’m in Tampa or Houston…I have no fear of the future or doubt for the present or shame of the past…because the LORD is my God. And He is always with me. And in that exultant note…farewell all!!! I hope all of your Thanksgivings were as blessed and awesomely magnificent as mine!!!!

Ok.

Dinner time.

James HoganLeave a comment

Brownies are in the oven!! I haven’t made brownies in forever…so hopefully these turn out. The batter tasted good at least. While I was making the brownies, I was watching a bit of Ben Hur. That has to be one of the most epic movies of all time, in the truest sense of the word!! Brought back memories of chilling with Rob G…ah, what good times God has given me!! Tonight after work, went over to Alex’s place – had pizza and talked and basically just had an awesome time. I have to say, I don’t know why I ever doubt the goodness of the LORD, when I see what good friends He has given me in this place!!

And now, brownies are almost done. Time to watch a bit more Ben Hur as I “test” them with a glass of milk…

James HoganLeave a comment

I just realized I don’t post enough mid-week entries…so here one is!!

But don’t worry, I have barely any time to write because I am currently in the middle of making a delicious dinner(hamburgers, baked potatoes, green beans and a tall glass of milk…and boy does it smell good!!). Anyways, I just thought I’d show my face and declare that yes, I’m still here. Oh and I sort of miss my family…just talked to Laura and my mom and…well, I felt once again how I long to see them. I can’t wait for Thanksgiving!!!!!!

But now, time for dinner. My stomach is growling.

Farewell all!! May God’s face shine upon you and may His peace be with you!

James HoganLeave a comment

Ok, so just got back from the gym…and it is absolutely amazingly gorgeous outside!! Storms rolled through Houston today and so while it is still gray and grim, it is now cold!!! And by cold, I mean 65 degrees. But that is the coldest it’s been in a long time. And thus, the temperature combined with the breezes and the moisture in the air to make it feel utterly invigorating!!! And so walking to and from the gym, I was practically skipping through puddles and singing aloud!! I do so love this weather. If you hadn’t noticed.

And while all my plans haven’t solidified for the weekend yet, I know it’s gonna be a sweet one. Because it always is.

James HoganLeave a comment

So even though I’m, quite frankly, starving…I decided it was time to update! Dinner can wait.

But yeah, the reason I wanted to post now was to talk about last week…that was spent in Gainesville!! I returned for Career Showcase to recruit for Cameron, and so rather than attending the career fair as a student, I witnessed the other side(which is quite more tiring). I flew back on Monday afternoon to the Jacksonville airport and then drove down to Gainesville. We had about a minute or so to check into our hotel and then it was off to dinner! We went to the Stonewood Grill to meet with some prospective hires(i.e., my friends and classmates). The food was delicious and the company was good, but I was still so tired from the flight and driving that I really don’t remember most of it!

The next day was made of awesome though…I woke up early(ok, not really…around 7) and Rob picked me up and we chilled at his place for breakfast!!! This was one of my favorite parts of the whole week…getting a solid few hours to talk and laugh and encourage and share and be with my best friend…ah how I wish he was here in Houston. Anyway, we talked about a lot of random things(did I ever mention he’s getting married to Laurie this December? No? Well. He is. Yes.) and basically just enjoyed hanging out together. He then had to go to campus and so he dropped me off at the hotel. That was the last time I saw him for the whole week, sadly. The rest of the day was almost just as sweet…I hung out on campus for most of it, walking around the oh-so-familiar paths(taking some pictures while I was at it!) and remembering good times. For lunch, I got to eat with Laura K…sadly we didn’t have quite as long to talk as she had a weird thing called class! But still, the time we had was delightful. Later, I surprised Maryanne right before her psych test at the door of her classroom(weird seeing her in my old haunt of the FLG!) and then I saw Cindy later that afternoon after her physics lab(hah, now THAT brings back memories!). We caught up on events and enjoyed some sweet fellowship before I had to go off to my next appointment…which was my only official “work function” of the day! I made an appearance at the official engineering networking session and spent most of it talking to old friends who also happened to be interested in Cameron. I tried to impart my knowledge of the oil business as best I could…being only a recent hire myself!!

And wow, this entry is getting far too long. And I am getting far too hungry. But I will not surrender to the pangs of my stomach…I will endure for the sake of posterity! On to Wednesday! This was definitely the most tiring day of the week, because it was…Career Showcase!! I will be brief with describing it, but basically I will say I don’t think I’m cut out to be a full-time recruiter. I talked to literally hundreds of students desperate for jobs, knowing we only had 14 interview slots to hand out. Heartbreaking. Every person I talked to, I wanted to help, but I just couldn’t. And I felt terrible.

Also, for anyone curious, while being a recruiter is far less stressful than being a student, it is FAR more exhausting. I was talking almost non-stop for eight hours. I’m actually quite surprised my voice stayed intact!! Nevertheless, at the end of that very long day a dinner party awaited me. A dinner party comprised of David, Dream and I!! They had me over to their place for dinner…and being with them for the evening was pure joy. Able to converse on matters ranging from music to food to politics to the goodness of the LORD…and add in a spectacular meatloaf dinner…well, suffice it to say I had a good time. And I don’t think I can describe it any better than that without diminishing the pureness of our fellowship. But even though I was practically on the floor from exhaustion at this point, was the day over?? Would I cede the point to my tiredness? NEVAHHHH!!! And thus, Dream and David and I went to TCBY’s for ice-cream awesomeness…and the reason it was awesomeness was not because of the ice cream but because of everyone there that I got to see!! Prayer and praise happened during our dinner party, so a bunch of people came from there to meet us. We picked up Laura G on the way(where I got to jump out and surprise her!) and then once we got there we saw Laura K, Bekah Hope, Bekah P, Tim, Galan, Mary, Heather, Allison, and Maryanne!!! This was another of one of my favorite moments of the week(gosh, I guess I had a lot of these, didn’t I?)…seeing everyone again and delighting in the friends and the wonderful gifts the LORD has given me!!!

And as this entry is still nowhere near conclusion, I’m starting to worry about the fate of my dinner. Or lack thereof. ANYWAYS. Thursday! This day started out with interviews, which went as interviews usually go. Or so I suppose, as this was my first time actually being the interviewer instead of the interviewee! Anyways, at the end of my time interviewing, I got picked up by the Lebos and thus began a disc golf adventure!! Mrs. Lebo and George and I went to Northside(on a day which just HAD to be the most lovely day of the fall thus far!! Perfect disc golf weather!) and played a round! Actually, Mrs. Lebo had to go part ways through, but me and George got through about 26 holes. So awesome being able to catch up with George and talk about random stuff(as well as get in our requisite Wheel of Time talk!) at the same time as soaking in the beauty of the day! After that, I spent a little more time at the Lebos’ house(eating lunch and playing Brawl with George) and then back to campus I went.

At this point, I stopped by Marston(hmm, I don’t really miss that place) and saw Cindy and met her boyfriend Robert and after that went to the Christian Study Center for the first time…in a while! And this time, I had no homework to do and no test to study for! Rather, I got to talk to Laurie at the coffee bar like old times! She got to tell me about her wedding dress, but I stopped her from showing it to me. Girls, let me give you a piece of advice…guys really don’t care(AT ALL!) about the dress. They care(A LOT!) for the girl in it. Just sayin’.

Anyways after that I went by the HUB and saw Chris for a few minutes at the end of his shift and chilled with him and again…felt like time had never passed at all. Soon enough, as the shadows lengthened on campus, I made my way to Maguire field…alas not to play flag football. But to watch Maryanne play! Somehow she’d made her way onto the Civil Engineering team and I couldn’t pass up the chance to see her play! Even though I was a bit sorrowful over not being able to play in the game myself. She played well and her team won a sweet victory!! But that wasn’t the best part of the night…the best part was just hanging out with Maryanne!! We walked around campus a bit and then went to Chili’s for dinner. While we ate our delicious classic hamburgers, we talked and talked and laughed and talked some more. This just may have been my favorite part of the week!! I have to admit, it’s still a bit weird realizing my little sister is a student at UF! But more than weird…it’s awesome. After we finished eating, we played around campus…doing a random photo shoot at the fountain and then re-enacting a scene from Sound of Music(“16 going on 17!”) and then met up with Dream for a few minutes! Finally, David and Dream drove me back to my hotel. Where I promptly collapsed.

And the next day, I went home.

The end. Gosh, I wrote far too much…but hey, hope y’all don’t mind reading it. And if you do? Too bad! I could have written so much more about all the actual work I did, but it was much more fun writing about the other stuff!! And while I was tired much of the time…how often am I in Gainesville these days. It was so totally worth it. Every last moment. And I probably should write about the sweet and relaxing weekend I had…but seriously, I am hungry. So to all, farewell!!

Oh and one more thing…

God is good.

James HoganLeave a comment

I’m currently in the middle of enjoying a lovely Sunday!! I realized(ok, actually it was pointed out to me…) that I haven’t written anything in here in quite a while. Oops. Anyways, I’m still rocking out in Houston…and I think finally getting used to the “big-city” life! Well, at least I’m used to the traffic. The other morning I was driving to work and it seemed as if the floodgates of heaven were open…rain was just pouring down. I used to like rain, and I still do…but NOT when I’m driving to work along with a few million other people. Because then I’m late to work. Grr.

But in non-work news(or…sorta-work news), I’m coming back to Gainesville this week!! I’m coming for the career showcase to recruit for Cameron. Is that weird or what? Seriously, it’s going to be a little strange to be interviewing people that I sat in classes with. But I can’t wait to see people again!!! I’ve already got a breakfast planned with Rob…that will be so sweet. Finally we’ll get to really catch up and talk and encourage each other and just…yes. It’ll be sweet. Wait, did I already say that? No matters, it deserves to be said again.

And I’ll get to see Maryanne too!! It will be strange(but AWESOME) to chill with her at UF!! And of course, seeing everyone else(everyone being people that are still in Gainesville, that is) is going to be amazingly awesome. Ahh, how I do miss college times. Yet I have to say that I’m glad I’m in Houston, because I am indeed getting to know some cool people here too. And while I can’t quite say I call Houston my home…I can definitely say I’m content. Because God is with me. And He is good indeed.

And now I think I want to take a short Sunday nap(Huzzah!!), but first…

Preserve me, O God, for I take
refuge in You.
I said to the LORD, “You are
my Lord;
I have no good besides You.”
-Psalm 16:1-2

And now time to relax…enjoy the beauty of the LORD, y’all!!!

James HoganLeave a comment

And I saw heaven opened, and
behold, a white horse, and He who sat
on it is called Faithful and True, and
in righteousness He judges and wages
war. His eyes are a flame of fire,
and on His head are many diadems;
and He has a name written on Him
which no one knows except Himself.
He is clothed with a robe dipped in
blood, and His name is called The
Word of God. And the armies which
are in heaven, clothed in fine linen,
white and clean, were following Him
on white horses. From His mouth
comes a sharp sword, so that with it He
may strike down the nations, and He
will rule them with a rod of iron; and
He treads the wine press of the fierce
wrath of God, the Almighty. And on
His robe and on His thigh He has a
name written, “KING OF KINGS,
AND LORD OF LORDS.”

-Revelation 19:11-16

I was walking to the gym after work today and a storm was coming. As I walked, I was singing to myself a song from my church in Tampa, a song directly from the verses I quoted above…and as I got to the part, “His name is called The Word of God…”, at that very moment, lightning flashed down in every direction around me…and the thunder built to a glorious crescendo, punctuating the beauty of the storm. I stood struck with awe. And I was reminded(why do we forget!!) of the power and righteousness and mercy and perfection and glory and holiness and love and justice and compassion of the Almighty.

How great is the LORD!!!!

James HoganLeave a comment

Well, it’s been a long Saturday(but a good one!!) and I am now quite exhausted…but I figure it’s been too long since I’ve written a decent update. All my latest ones have been under 100 words! Terrible! So I’ve decided it’s time for a proper multi-page entry…so buckle your seatbelts, boys and girls…it’s time to rock and roll.

By update, I really mean I’ve had lots of random thoughts and I keep meaning to put them to paper yet I almost always have my best thoughts in the car where it’s quite impossible to write anything. Although I have been known to scribble in my notebook at stoplights…hmm, let’s keep that under wraps, shall we? But seriously, why do my best(and strangest) ideas come when I’m driving? Most annoying.

Anyway, something I realize anew almost every morning is the grandeur and might and beauty of God…as I watch the sun rise over Houston. I’m so very blessed in that I drive east on the interstate to get to work, and thus as soon as I get on the on-ramp, I’m struck full in the face with the sun striding up through the clouds…sometimes in a sky clear as crystal, other times(most times!) in a sky where the clouds diffract the light into a spectrum of gorgeousness. And as I see the light wash over the cars rushing off to work and money and ambition and power…and as I see the rays strike the skyscrapers so suddenly diminished in comparison to the massive clouds of brilliance overwhelming all Houston has to offer…I feel conflicting emotions of utter joy and deepest sadness. Joy to see the works of the LORD arrayed in the heavens. Sadness because so few see it so. How can everyone else driving to work not see the Hand of the Almighty????

And now pause for a piano interlude.

Because no, this party isn’t over yet! Consider the previous as Musings, Pt. 1. Part 2 will follow shortly, but before I dive into the scary contents of my thoughts, I thought I’d give you all a chance to catch your breath. Seriously, all you who read everything I write get mad props, because I don’t even fully grasp all that I’m writing! My thoughts(and everyone’s, I’ll wager) seem to be a interweaving of multicoloured threads…and to follow one thread to completion would be a marvel. But, enough on that tangent. Have I lost everyone yet? Ok, good.

Another thing I think about enough on my drive to work is the power and danger and beauty and poison and utter mystery that is music. I hinted at this subject in my last post, but as I didn’t have enough time to explain myself, I kept it vague. But now my time is unlimited and my fingers are spry and I’m ready to drown you all in a flood of words. Gosh, I really am getting long-winded in my old age.

But, music. One of the craziest and most beautiful of the creative gift our Father’s bestowed upon us. Driving off to work, I tend to play my favorite “pump-up” music to get my mind in gear for the work day…and one of the albums I’ve been playing a lot lately is one by Sonata Arctica. The album(“Reckoning Night”) is a work of pure genius. Remember that top five album thing I did a few months back? Well, if I repeated it now, I’m pretty sure this album would take at least the 3rd spot, if not higher. For me, the album’s melodies and rhythms and crazy awesome guitar and haunting piano and intermingling of raw emotion throughout struck me deeply. The songs range from heartrendingly sad to breathtakingly furious and they strike a chord in my soul. And why have I practically written a review of this album? Precisely because it echoes so well what I feel music does for everyone. I doubt everyone will feel the same I do about this album(and please don’t think I’ve fallen in love or pledged my life to these songs!), but haven’t you ever felt the emotions whirling within you when you heard your favorite album, or band, or song? Haven’t you ever felt like the song matches your deepest desires and feelings that you didn’t even know you had? Haven’t you felt like the music opened up a mirror in which you were looking at yourself? And this is why music is so beautiful and yet so dangerous. It opens us up to ourselves. And we are dangerous indeed.

Music opens up ourselves and gives the key of our emotions to the stereo. It releases our cries of longing and pleads of love into the open. The intellectual is subdued before the power of the emotional. At our depths, we are people who want to be loved. Who want to be wanted. Who want to be known. And our soul screams for meaning and begs for fulfillment. And in music, there is that faintest echo.

And I don’t want you all to think I’m decrying music as the work of the devil! Indeed, I love music(and will continue to!), but music is not the answer. It’s a thing of beauty that our most glorious Father has given to us! But it is not the balm that will heal our souls. It is not the jewel of great price. It is not the answer to our heart’s pain. But there is One who is.

And that’s all for tonight, folks. Enjoy the epicness of this post. And if anyone read all that, they get TWO cookies. That’s right. Enjoy the beauty of the night!! …and this little present for anyone who made it this far:

The orange disc slid across
the curve of the
early morning sky.
The traveler’s mouth dropped
open in awe,
so shattering was the
beauty of the sun
in the soft gray sky.

It seemed as if a
smear of purest light had
been dropped on a
dirty canvas.