Tag: journal

A Foretaste of Things to Come

James HoganLeave a comment

Guess what? It’s the coldest day thus far this season and it is beautiful. 40 degrees outside…and I love it. Got to wear my black wool coat to work for the first time in ages. This cold weather is just blissful. Long may it continue. Also today, apart from the usual work nonsense, we have our office Thanksgiving lunch! As I walked in the building, saw the whole lobby/break room area full of tables and chairs for our upcoming feast. Hurrah! Yes, I will have to eat semi-quickly since I have a Transocean meeting (AT Transocean) at 1pm that I will have to depart for, but still. Thanksgiving feasts are never to be taken for granted. And speaking of such…tonight, Becky and Mary Beth are hosting a Thanksgiving potluck at their apartment! I will attempt to make an apple pie to bring to that – we shall see how it turns out. I’m excited for a relaxing night of yummy food and fun conversation with good friends.

Now quickly before I begin the work tasks of the day…a couple words on my reading this morning. Firstly, sobering words from 2 Chronicles 12. We start with King Rehoboam (the son of Solomon), who seemed to be doing ok in earlier chapters. Yes, he’d made some mistakes, but it seems the people of the land were genuinely seeking after God, to obey and honour Him. But what do we see in the first verse of chapter 12? “When the kingdom of Rehoboam was established and strong, he and all Israel with him forsook the law of the Lord.” Oh. Well then. Is that something we need to beware of in our own lives? As much as we know and are confident that our Lord God will surely complete His work in us – He shall never forsake us – pride is not yet dead in us, is it? When we are in a good place, when we are ‘established and strong’, is it not tempting to slack off and rest in our own accomplishments? When you stand, take heed – lest you fall. Ever be seeking the Lord in your life, during the full years as well as the lean years. Ever be humbling yourself before the Lord…because if not, you shall be humbled. As in this passage, when God uses King Shisak of Egypt (with armies innumerable) to conquer throughout the land and humble the people. And so eventually Rehoboam and the people of Judah do humble themselves…and God has mercy and compassion yet He still proclaims that “they will become his slaves so that they will learn the difference between My service and the service of the kingdoms of the countries.’ Let us crave that we may be in service to the Lord, for His yoke is easy and His burden is light. The yoke of other gods is not near so fun as we may like to think.

And secondly? A couple verses in James 5. He’s speaking to Christians that are apparently weary from suffering and impatient for the return of Christ. James has been giving them many comforting words (as well as severe exhortations!), and now He’s going to continue to comfort them with examples of God’s compassion and mercy. What example does he choose? Verse 10 – “As an example, brethren, of suffering and patience, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. We count those blessed who endured. You have heard of the endurance of Job and have seen the outcome of the Lord’s dealings, that the Lord is full of compassion and is merciful.” Hm. I have to say, if I was looking for an encouraging example of God’s mercy…I would probably not be happy with the example of Job. Wait, God – I don’t want that. Job went through terrible things! He lost everything – possessions, children, health! The only things he didn’t lose was his blaspheming wife and his depressing friends. You’re saying that I should look to Job and be encouraged at God’s mercy? I don’t want that mercy! I want no part of the book of Job, nope. But now – look at the key phrase in this verse, you “have seen the outcome of the Lord’s dealings…” We may not partake in sufferings as severe as Job’s. I pray that you do not. But you know what, we may. And even if our sufferings aren’t quite as bad as all that, we still suffer, do we not? We still have physical pains, mental anguish and emotional turmoil that plague us. But we cannot focus on that. To focus and fix our minds on ourselves rob us of the joy that comes at looking to Christ and recognizing that we have a higher hope, that God indeed causes all things to work together for good for those that love Him. And so the end of all things will indeed show the mercy and lovingkindness of the Lord – when we are with Christ forever. We may suffer now. But not forever. The outcome of the Lord’s dealings with us? Life eternal. And even in this life, we see the blessings of the Lord. See and be thankful and praise the Lord for every small mercy that our Lord grants us in this life. All praises to Him, now and forever. Our Lord is full of compassion and oh so merciful. May the knowledge of that glorious truth warm our hearts this day.

Lies We Once Told Ourselves in Order to Ameliorate the Moods of Grey and Bare-branched Days

James HoganLeave a comment

I wonder if I can make a post where the title is longer than the actual entry? No, that is rubbish. But…I am posting simply to say that it is a nice Friday in which I am enjoying a warm(ish) peppermint mocha and looking forward to the beauty that my God has in store for me this day. I know not what it is. But at least I do know that to know God and know that I am known by God is beauty. For the love of my God has saved my soul truly. Thanks to Him for the blood of His Son – atonement perfect and complete. Only through Christ am I saved. And so I am known forever. I am loved forever. Only by the grace of my God and through the faith He has so graciously granted me am I made complete and whole. One more thing I’m grateful for…that God has given us His most perfect Scriptures through which we may know Him. How awesome is that? We are not required to follow some imperfect tradition or fallen man to gain access to heaven. The way of true salvation is seen through Scripture alone. And I can read it anytime I want. Again…how awesome is that? I really need to take advantage of this more often. Now truly this is a random potpourri of a post, very unstructured and random, but I shall let it stand. To end…to God alone by all glory and all praise.

Redemption

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Quick update this Wednesday morn! Firstly, a few of my latest book logs…I just cannot keep up lately for some reason. My latest three:

35. Shadow Puppets by Orson Scott Card. As said a few entries ago, I sort of read the Bean series out of order. So this is the last one I read, even though it really should have come earlier. Not going to go into plot details, but yet another gripping adventure with amazing characters – I really do love Bean, Petra, Peter et. al. so much!! I think(since it’s been a few weeks since I’ve read this so I’m already forgetting) that this is also the book that Peter’s parents (and Ender & Valentine’s…but they’re not in this book) play a much larger role. They are simply hilarious and I love them much as well. Finally they get to be a bit more than just “the parents”. Fun times. And the ending to this book. I cannot talk about it without spoiling, but to this day I can remember the stunned exhilaration I had when I first realized what had happened near the end of this book. Orson Scott Card is one of my favourite authors for a reason. Speaking of…

36. Speaker for the Dead by Orson Scott Card. The OSC train continues! This is technically the sequel to Ender’s Game but it is a very very different book to that. I was trying to explain the plot of this book to John the other night and…it was a bit difficult. It’s set some 3000 years after the first book. Ender is basically grown up now? He comes to a planet where a Portuguese Catholic colony has been founded and made first contact with an alien species(the pequeninos…) and he meets a very messed up family and there’s also a deadly virus that’s trying to kill everything and I am really going to stop talking about this plot because it’s impossible to summarize for someone who isn’t going to read the book. But it is truly a remarkable book. It starts the trend of each book in the Ender series being more philosophical and “talky” than the last. It starts to get a bit wearing by the final book, but here…this book…masterpiece. And apart from the mystery that must be solved(why did the pequeninos brutally massacre the human scientists? What’s their secret??), the thing that I remember the most about this book is the thrilling human relationships and interactions that OSC describes. Again, OSC is a master at talking about interpersonal relationships and painting vivid characters. So the main family in this book…they have six children right? A lot of times when a lot of characters are described, they all run together and you don’t really remember who’s who. Not this book. I can tell you the name of each character and describe them to you in detail. (Miro, Ela, Quim/Estavao, Olhado, Quara, Grego…) So reading this book – it’s more than just a science fiction novel (although it is that). It’s reading about a family and their problems and their pain and their fears…and what shall be their hope? If you can’t tell, I much enjoyed this one.

37. Xenocide by Orson Scott Card. Next book in the series. Actually just finished this one last night! Shan’t write long about this as I’m very much running out of time. This book is slightly more difficult to read, firstly because of the slightly overwrought philosophical discussions. Secondly because the story of Qing-Jao and the “gods of Path” (actually just an overly aggressive and tragic form of OCD) is definitely not always fun to read. The mental illness aspect is uncomfortable in and of itself. And although OSC is a religious man (his Mormon tendencies do come out at times, as much as I wish they wouldn’t), he does love to play with the idea of religion just being a way for humanity to explain the universe…and in this book in particular, he likes to explore the idea of a character (Qing-Jao) being able to explain any situation or circumstance (whether good or bad) as just being the will of the gods expressed in the disguise of explainable human action. I know what OSC actually believes, so I respect him for having the intellectual honesty to approach this question rigorously…and for these novels, in and of themselves, to take the humanist/agnostic perspective! Nonetheless, it still is slightly irritating, for I do believe in a real God that works in this world. And I believe God is sovereign over all. Of course, Qing-Jao’s dogmatism and unshakable faith in the cruel gods of path is something that I cringe at. Yet I am aware that some others in this world would cringe at my own faith in a God whom many would see as cruel and unloving. Somehow I really did still enjoy this book though. And thinking of things in a religious light, I do long that all in this world would come to know and understand the true God of this universe, a most perfect, just, loving and sovereign God. A God whom we may call Father – if we would only believe in Him. Thus is my heart.

Now I really am running out of time. A few more words and then I shall fly. Last night got to go to a Rockets game with James – Rockets v Blazers! Firstly, the Rockets are…not great right now. So they got destroyed. They’re 1-5 now I think? 1-6? But apart from that! Was an awesome night. Me and James – great talks as always…good to catch up, especially since he is no longer part of Cameron…sad and tragic but great for him so I am happy. And apart from the good chat and good food (classic Rockets meal for me = buffalo chicken strips and fries!), it was an extra-special game night, as James met up with his ticket rep beforehand…and because of…er…how terrible the Rockets are now?…we were offered free seat upgrades to lower level (bonus!) and even more exciting, we got to stand court-side for warm-ups! Sadly the Blazers were warming up on our end, but it was still pretty cool watching the players warm up. I realized I am very small. And just standing on the actual Rockets court – so incredibly amazing for a basketball nerd like me!! And the very best part…? The Rockets starters always get announced after the lights dim, intro video plays…right? And they run onto the court when their name is called, right? Anyways – a few of us who were court-side got to make a little tunnel and high five the Rockets starters as they were announced. So yes, I got to high-five Chris Paul, Carmelo Anthony, PJ Tucker, Clint Capela & Eric Gordon. Pretty sick. It was pretty amazing to be standing feet from them pre-announcements and watch them get psyched up for the game…Paul is so incredibly focused and intense, stretching, swaying back and forth…game face. No wonder he’s as good as he is. But seriously now…standing right next to these men, you do realize (even though you know this!) that they are regular humans. I may see them on TV and read about them online…but they’re as human as you or me. They are not titans (although they are very tall). They are but men. Severely flawed ones, to be sure. As am I. And so although too often our adulation and praise for sports stars can veer towards the idolatrous, let us remember that our worship belongs to only One. Our Lord, our God. And on that note…let me share a couple verses from a song that encouraged my soul this morning as I drove to work…

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art

High King of Heaven, my victory won
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heav’n’s Sun
Heart of my own heart, whate’er befall
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all

Reading Between the Lines of Autumnal Tendencies

James HoganLeave a comment

Hello friends! Been a bit too long since I’ve written…and I honestly don’t even feel much like writing now, but I suppose I should at least attempt to write something. I’m sitting here at Starbucks – not for long though as it is sunny and delightfully cool outside and I shall not waste that – and sipping on my coffee…and yeah, guess I can write a few words! I’m listening to a preliminary mix of a CD I hope to be completed sometime in the next few weeks. It’s not there yet, alas. Alas. Speaking of mixes though – why don’t I share one I made earlier this year? This must have been sometime in…July? August? I actually knocked out 3 mixes in short succession and I don’t exactly remember which I made when – and I’m not going to share all three today! But going alphabetically because why not? This one came about shortly after my Colorado trip with Robbie in which fantastic and memorable times were had. On Sunday of that trip, we had a hiking day in which we drove outside of Denver some ways, found a cool path and hiked up and back. It was beautiful and so different than the Houston I’m usually in. But as we drove there and back, we listened to the music on Robbie’s Spotify – and I realised he had some most excellent dance tunes! By dance tunes (this time), I mean more modern dance/pop music…music that’s fun to listen to, even if the content is a bit lightweight! But hey – great road trip music. And so when I returned from Colorado, decided I needed to memorialize the trip by making a mix using Robbie’s music. I messed with the flow a bit…but the content is pretty much straight Robbie. Thanks man. So now – for a fun, frothy mix…I humbly present Denver 2AM:

1. The Ocean – Mike Perry feat. Shy Martin
2. Summer Air – ItaloBrothers
3. Don’t Let Me Down – The Chainsmokers feat. Daya
4. Paper Planes – M.I.A.
5. Heroes (we could be) – Alesso feat. Tove Lo
6. Alone – Marshmello
7. False Alarm – Matoma & Becky Hill
8. Havana – Camila Cabello feat. Young Thug
9. Closer – The Chainsmokers feat. Halsey
10. Faded – Alan Walker
11. Habits (Stay High) (Hippie Sabotage Remix) – Tove Lo
12. Baba Yetu (Deep Radio Edit) – Supanova
13. Tilbake (Saevik Remix) – David André Østby feat. Marie Hognestad
14. S.O.S. – Indila
15. Sugar – Robin Schulz feat. Francesco Yates
16. So Good – LZ7
17. Runaway (U & I) – Galantis
18. Reload (Vocal Version/Radio Edit) – Sebastian Ingrosso & Tommy Trash & John Martin
19. Don’t Wanna Wake Up – Capital Kings
20. Tidal Wave – Sub Focus feat. Alpines
21. Headlines – Robin Schulz feat. Ilsey

So there you go! A bit more words shall I put to page? John (Dixon! From Scotland!!) was here this past week and it was glorious. I shan’t write about all we did(honestly, we didn’t do that much! But definitely enjoyed taking him to a Dynamo game – my first too! Good times were had wandering around Houston in the grey and the rain and the cold…he picked the wrong week to come to Houston for sun and warmth that’s for sure!)…for truly the best part was just being with him again and having quiet moments talking and being together. Sitting on the couch one evening, watching the baseball(World Series – Dodgers v. Red Sox – ugh) and talking about random life thoughts. Or down the street at Christian’s, enjoying a burger, half-watching the Rockets game (but not really) and again just chatting about our past, our future, our hopes, our dreams. You know. All that good stuff. I think one night, I was texting Julie about something and once she found out I was with John – she asked, “Why are you chatting with me when your friend is there!?!” And I thought about it and see that we’re chilling in the living room, half on our phones, half paying attention to whatever was on TV and then making random comments to each other now and again and realised…this just feels like being flatmates in Aberdeen again. A normal evening together. And so having that experience this past week was…quite nice. I treasure the friendship I have with John dearly and I thank my God for that. And I pray that God continues to bless John in all things!! To Him be the glory throughout, now and forever.

Now, before I spiral off into further flights of emotion, I shall take my leave. It really is a good time to get out of this dim coffeeshop and into the glorious light.

Art Deco

James HoganLeave a comment

It is a most glorious day. This morning – finally! – is sitting at sub-60 temperature and it is drippy and wet and slightly cold and it is beautiful. I forget how much I love the “winter” (quotation marks most definitely required) here in Houston. And it is here at long last! So now I get to enjoy my hot coffee inside after having walked in from the (marginally) cold outside and I am happy. Another reason for happiness – I got quite a good long reading time this morning…woke up (reasonably) on time and thus was able to luxuriate in reading through sections of Psalm 119, some Proverbs, 1 Kings 19-20(1 Kings 19 – will always be one of my very favourites after preaching through it in Scotland…oh how encouraging are those words! God indeed takes care of our needs and encourages us with his presence and reminds us of the truths we ought to know…and gives us good works to do. May I remember that this day) and then finally Galatians (yes, I had time to read all of it – which truly is necessary as Galatians is such a lovely book and needs to be read straight through!). So I am ever more aware of how truly blessed I am. Might I constantly be reminded today of how I ought not boast in anything else other than the cross of my Lord Jesus Christ. Always.

Apple Pie

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It’s a Friday, at long last! And though I didn’t write yesterday, let me it be known that on October 11th in the year of our Lord 2018…it finally actually felt like fall for the first time all year. Temperatures in the 60s when I walked outside? I was very – most pleasantly – surprised! And today is the same. Fall is here, y’all. FINALLY. Last night, I went to EQ to get some reading time in…and I found out that everyone else had apparently also realised fall had arrived since the porch was full of far too many people and I had trouble finding a spot! Thankfully I did. Had a nice chat with Lea on phone…then eventually Fran and Haley and John showed up and we had good times hanging out in the cool autumnal air. Now, I need to start work momentarily, but as I’m far behind on my book logging…(sorry, I just keep forgetting!), I’ll jot down my last few reads:

31. Ender’s Shadow by Orson Scott Card. Yup, I am fully in OSC re-read mode. No apologies. This book is an interesting parallel companion novel to Ender’s Game. It is definitely interesting to see most of the events from Ender’s Game from a slightly different angle! Probably not quite as good as Ender’s game, but it has some poignant moments that make it totally worth it. Following Bean – a character that definitely grows on you – this was a book that I always forget how much I love. The ending especially is incredibly emotional and a line from the end of this book is currently the front-runner for the title of my next mix CD. So there you go.

32. Shadow of the Hegemon by Orson Scott Card. The second book in the Shadow series – or the Bean series, as I like to think of it. Honestly, I usually think of Ender’s Shadow as a a book on its own – since it’s set in space! – and the following 3 books as their own trilogy. Because these next books are all set on Earth and deal mostly with the geopolitics of the world following the conclusion of the Formic Wars. Fascinating stuff. I like it because…well, it’s science fiction and set several hundred years in future…but it’s also dealing with recognizable nations and cultures. So you have weary and decrepit America, aggressive Russia, expansionist India, arrogant China…and soon(but not quite in this book), the Caliphate stretching across Africa through the Middle East (and Europe I guess, with Turkey…). I love international relations and so it’s incredibly fascinating seeing Card’s simulated future! Complete with genius children leading them to war! Anyway, this book mainly deals with most of the children getting captured and Bean having to figure out how to rescue them. Finally we get to see much more of Petra, which I love because she’s an amazingly awesome character. And of course Peter Wiggin begins to emerge onto the scene. This is a fantastic book…in my humble opinion.

33. Shadow of the Giant by Orson Scott Card. So…er…yes, this is the fourth book of the series, not the third. Why did I read this one next? Well I was in Chicago this past weekend with John and Daniel. And obviously I brought a travel book – Shadow of the Hegemon. Picked up Shadow of the Giant in a used bookstore in Chicago, because it was the one book I didn’t own and figured I’d read it when I got home. I underestimated my reading speed however, and finished my travel book a few days into trip…so obviously had to read this book since I didn’t bring a backup book. Tragedy. So yes, I’m reading this series out of order. Oops? Anyway! This book is a fitting end to this series…I won’t spoiler it, but I will say I didn’t quite remember how it ended but once I finished it…definitely satisfied. One thing interesting about this book (I suppose I could go into depth, but I will refrain) is you definitely even more so get a feel for Orson Scott’s Card worldview. His Mormon beliefs very obviously inform the themes of this book(and looking back on it, the whole series) – and most obviously, the thought that having children and a family is our main purpose on this earth. By marrying a wife and having children, you “become a part of the human race” and find true meaning. Some of this echoes with my soul – i.e., I do think God designs us with a longing in our hearts for finding a partner and having children (a legacy – as cold and hard as that word sounds). But is that the true meaning of life? I would say not. And I would say it is easy to idolize family above all else, which Card gets dangerously close to. Still – it is rare to see books these days praise marriage and families at all, so I will enjoy these aspects and yet remain wary of seeing perfect fulfillment and happiness in this earthly life. Anyway!! I do go on. This book was fantastic, and once again, I found myself emotional as I finished it.

34. Rubicon by Tom Holland. I sadly do not have time to fully describe this book. A marvelous historical narrative of the last hundred years or so (really the last fifty in greater detail) of the Roman Republic. I know many of the names and bare facts of the Republic, but reading this gave me so much more knowledge of the actual people that lived during this time!! Villainous Sulla and greedy Crassus and proud Pompey and arrogant Caesar and noble Cato and fearful Cicero and enigmatic Caesar Augustus(nee Octavian)…so many tragic moments and so much bloodshed and oh so much fierce politicking and oh the depths of depravity of humanity how we never change. I simply loved this book. The fall of the Republic is something that was bemoaned even while it was happening yet…man is evil and cruel and so the events fell out as could only be expected – in total war, chaos, fear and shell-shocked resignation. There is so much in this book I could talk about, but I much enjoyed reading this history and discovering more about the Republic that was Rome.

Snooze

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This is definitely one of those sleepy mornings, I have decided. Firstly I’m behind schedule – definitely slept a bit longer than I would have liked! – then I roll up to Starbucks and see Jake there…who is also very much behind his own schedule…then I talk to Emily & Deniz at the counter and they tell me they barely opened on time since one of them(who shall remain nameless…but his name starts with D) slept in and didn’t get to Starbucks until 15 min before open. So yeah, it’s one of those days apparently!! I am about to take my first sip of coffee all morning and it shall be glorious. Since I didn’t have much time this morning, decided not to even heat up my coffee so no – I am currently decaffeinated. I am grateful that I was granted a bare few minutes to read though – Psalm 101 & 102. Encouraging to read the Word of the Lord this morning, that I cannot deny. Now…figured I’d post a poem I’ve been working on. It’s a bit rare for me to post one that I’ve worked on for multiple days – a slow burn of a creative process on this one, to be sure. Honestly, I’m still not really happy with it, but…I may very well never be? So going to post it now, maybe I’ll tweak it later, who knows. Also posting because I did get someone else’s somewhat positive feedback. Meagan read it and enjoyed…but she also freely confessed that she doesn’t know poetry well…still though, I much appreciated her even reading it!! I asked what emotional response it provoked and her response was, “numbness and then longing that comes from a pensive evening walk.” You know what? I’ll take that. But let me stop my rambling discourse…and post this mess of a poem. Thanks for reading, friends.

What to do and what to say
Hear now grim creation’s lay
Dripping of doom and triumph both
The sneering triumph too hollow
to make up for the sure doom to follow.

And as the whirring gears
and humming motors
and all the churning, teeming
waves of faceless voices
create a most delightful dissonance,

a break in time and space does rupture
and in that moment
for a moment
the screens go black,
and red blinking lights go dim
and all the glories
of half told stories
tumble to the dust.

for I soft gasp in sorrow
as I stand atop the silent cliff,
starkly still,
and cold I shiver
but outward and upward and onward I look
and shaking I see
the singing sea
and the
star strewn skies
shock my shattered soul.

Flesh and blood and skin and bones,
now creation waits and groans
and with in-drawn breath and
widened, frightened eyes
softly, oh so softly
cries.

Dance the II

James HoganLeave a comment

I have decided it is not quite time to leave Starbucks yet. So…bonus post!! As I am still oh so far behind in posting my mix playlists…I figured I better try and catch up! This is a mix I came up with earlier this year – back in March I believe. It was one of those mixes that came together remarkably quickly. Just like my best poetry, my best mixes are the ones composed in a matter of minutes(not days!!). Anyway – this mix is a little bit country and a little bit melancholy. And I love it so. I remember listening to the last few songs the night(believe it was late on a Sunday night?) I made this mix…and feeling a tad bit emotional. But hey, let me stop talking it up…and just post the track list. Humbly I present…Never Again Sighs the Dawn:

1. Nightcall – London Grammar
2. New Partner – Ciaran Lavery
3. The Rooster Moans – Iron & Wine
4. The Stable Song – Gregory Alan Isakov
5. Abrasive – Ratatat
6. Burn – Norah Jones
7. Cherry – Ratatat
8. Roll the Bones – Shakey Graves
9. Where Rainbows Never Die – The Steeldrivers
10. You’ll Never Leave Harlan Alive – Darrell Scott
11. Ghosts of Mississippi – The Steeldrivers
12. The Snake – David Ford
13. If It Hadn’t Been for Love – The Steeldrivers
14. Skin & Bone – Stu Larsen
15. Stone Walls – Three Tall Pines
16. If I Be Wrong – Wolf Larsen

Gramercy

James HoganLeave a comment

Hello from Houston!! (And not hello from New York, where I was just a few hours ago!) I am very deeply tired now(really looking forward to a long night’s sleep!), but wanted to write just a few words while my memories are yet fresh! For yes, I just had a brief one-night vacation in NYC. Random what! Well, exceedingly so, yes. But a few months ago, I was perusing instagram(as one does) and saw that Tarja was doing a few shows in the US. Those of you who don’t know Tarja…she is the original singer of Nightwish, one of my very favourite bands. And if I was forced to choose a favourite singer of theirs(because they’ve had three over the years), I would pick her in a heartbeat. Sadly, I came to Nightwish too late to ever get to see her live with the band. But it’s always been a dream to see her live…but unfortunately her solo career pretty much never brings her to the US. Americans are uncultured and don’t appreciate her, I guess. Anyways though – her voice is oh so gorgeous. And as I saw that she was going to four cities in the US(only four!!), I pondered for a few minutes…then spontaneously decided, “You know what? I may never get the chance to see her again – I’m going to do this.” So booked a ticket for the show in NYC, got a plane ticket…and then started second-guessing myself the next day! But I’m quite glad I did this…really just having a little mini holiday in NYC was brilliant. I had an early flight out of Houston yesterday morning, landed in Newark and then made my way to the city. Had to wait a few hours to check into my hotel and it was very grey and wet and rainy(and cold!), so I hunkered down at a corner deli, had lunch and enjoyed coffee and reading for a few hours. Reading John Flavel’s “All Things Made New” currently – some truly heart-warming and most encouraging words contained therein. How wonderful it is to read of the glories and majesties of Christ!! So yes, even some quiet hours reading old Puritan writings got to be part of my vacation. Lovely.

And eventually…I walked down to my hotel, checked in and dropped my bag off, and then made my way down to Gramercy Theatre…I got there over 3 hours before doors, but I was definitely not first in line! About 20-25 people in front of me. So settled down for the long wait. Thankfully, as one does, made friends with the people I was standing with in line – had some great chat as we waited! I met Ken, your classic metal aficionado(complete with long curly hair!)…apparently he goes to some 60-80 concerts a year!! Yeah, I could not compete. Also met this man named Bill…a guy probably in his forties who still yet loves metal. It was fun talking to him because he’s definitely not your stereotypical metal fan…works in construction in the city, part of the Iron Workers Union, just your average New Yorker. We had plenty of football and baseball chat, aside from concert talk! So yeah, it was fun to make some friends. I very much am not a fan of going to a concert on my own, but since I made that decision in this case, at least I got to meet some fun people!! Later on, nearer to doors opening, talked to this one girl(never did her name!) for a while. She was probably a couple years younger than me, and upon chatting with her, realized we both got into Nightwish about the same time, back in 07/08. We had much fun talking about our favourite songs, favourite albums…all the shows we’d been to…all the singer drama, etc, etc. I have to confess, I enjoyed that much, mostly because I don’t have many people I can discuss Nightwish with!! I ended up standing next to her at the actual show too, so we got to look at each other and get excited when particular favorite songs were played!! Oh and one more thing…while we were standing in line, a few hours before showtime…I noticed the people in line were getting louder for some strange reason. Looked over to see Tarja and her husband and daughter crossing the street! They made their way into the theatre, but she was smiling and waving at us, passing a few feet in front of me – my first time seeing her, so I was a little starstruck, ok!? – and I’m sure I had a silly smile on my face as I waved back at her. Moments like this. Fun times.

But alright, enough prologue, am I right?? (But seriously, standing in line for over four hours…always fun right???) Finally, after a bit of a delay, the doors were opened and in we rushed!! I was able to maneuver my way to a pretty excellent spot on the far left. Second row!! Yes, not center, but I’ll take it! The support band played and they were…acceptable? Not my favourite, but they tried hard and gave it their all, I’ll give them that. But then finally, finally – it was Tarja time. She came out, the crowd went crazy and the show was amazing. …I honestly don’t really know how to describe it and I fear I would not do it justice. She was energetic and fiery and passionate and radiant and it all was wonderful. Seeing the classic Tarja expressions and smiles in real life…making eye contact with her as her voice rose high…seeing her dance around the stage in joy…what a wonderful, beautiful show. I must now make a small confession and say that while I do like her solo material and seeing her sing is a treat no matter what the songs are…obviously my favourite songs of hers are the ones she sung with Nightwish. So when about halfway through the show she did a medley of Nightwish songs – I was simply ecstatic(along with the girl I was standing next to – we were so much hoping she’d do some old Nightwish!!). That was for sure my favourite part of the night – hearing her sing Ever Dream…Slaying the Dreamer…!!! I never thought I’d ever get this chance to hear her sing those songs in person. And of course…hearing other great songs of hers – Innocence, Diva, Demons in You, and more…was really happy to hear her sing Diva – love that song so much and she brings such energy to it. And of course for that song, she wore a special crown. Oh Tarja. Never change. Near the end of the show(think it was the last song, possibly?) as the band rocked out, she did some of her classic Tarja headbanging…then hilariously stood up, pointed to her neck, grimaced, smiled and laughed – as if to say, “Too old to still be doing this!!” Tarja has just a magnetic stage presence. As much as I tried to enjoy the rest of the band, it was almost impossible to keep from watching her perform. Part of what makes her a legend, I suppose!!

Now, I fear this post is getting rather long, but I suppose I will – as is tradition – also confess that I couldn’t help praying for her as she sang…in one of her talking moments, she spoke of how music was her first love, great passion, etc. And you can definitely see that passion within her! But I do pray for her soul – that she will someday find a new great love, that she will come to know Christ. So many people(very obvious at show last night!) worship her, adore her, shower her with love. May she discover that all in this life is as vanity without knowing God. This I pray. And as for me – as much as I found great joy in listening to her sing…I have a higher joy than that. May I not forget that my true love is Christ! (That’s why it was so special yesterday that I got to read for a few hours in Flavel!)

So the show ended and it was sad and magnificent all at the same time. She did three songs for an encore, then the band made their bows and Tarja had that beautiful smile she always has as she waved farewell. She truly did seem so excited and happy by the love she got from us!! But finally it was over. I eventually made my way to the hotel, feeling oh so tired and having no voice!! (Yes, I yelled a bit too much. Alas) Woke up early this morning(oh wow, it was really only this morning. Seems so long ago now) so that I could take a nice early morning walk. Grabbed some coffee at Pret and made my way through the rainy streets up to 441 W 53rd Street. What is that address, you may ask? (Well, you won’t ask if you’re Mom). Because that is where Mom worked back in the day(80-81, I think) – the “Power Station”, recording studio extraordinaire! She’d sent me the address earlier, so I couldn’t help but make a pilgrimage to see it. Took some pics and called Mom while I was there! It was pretty special, I have to admit.

Eventually though…it was time to return to Houston. Walked down 8th Ave, enjoying walking amidst all the normal New York foot traffic…even though it was *still* raining! I don’t think it was dry the whole time I was there.

Now though, I’m back in Houston, sitting on my couch while John watches some The Last Jedi deleted scenes and I am oh so tired and oh so hungry. Think I’m gonna make some mashed potatoes and go across the street to get some nice spicy chicken. A good dinner, methinks. Thanks for putting up with this rambling entry(sorry for the ill-structure and repetitiveness – tiredness does not a good writer make)…as a reward – a few pics!!

Standing in line

The rather interesting support band!!

Diva

Always love a good acoustic song!! (plus Tarja’s voice!!)

Tarja forever

Outside the Power Station!!

Thanks for reading all this. Love you all!!! Now. Dinner time.

So Many Blinking Lights – is it Time to pull the lever?

James HoganLeave a comment

Happy Friday, friends!! Not much time to write but thought I’d poke my head in. Had a delightful last night chatting with David Tombs…who is in town this weekend visiting me! So excited, so utterly fantastic to catch up and have amazing talks about so many things. Thankful to Dream that she allowed her husband to come and hang out with me!! This weekend shall be delightful, I so declare. Now I’m at work, but it is a Friday and I’m trusting it won’t be too hectic. Famous last words. But my peppermint mocha is hot and the day is young and all is rosy and bright at the moment. Saw Penelope and Katie at Starbucks and nice chats were had (as always!!) and now I suppose I should settle down to the business that is at hand. I did want to write about my luscious time reading through Psalm 37 (+38 + Proverbs 31) but…the minutes have fled too rapidly and I dare not attempt to write more. I can say that it is oh so truly beautiful to rest in my Lord and to wait patiently for Him. At the thought of being close to my God…joy fills my heart and my soul sings.