Tag: journal

Extra Time

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Hello friends! Quick post before I move into some reading time here. It’s Saturday evening and finally but finally it’s time to rest. To be sure, it’s been a good day, just quite…errands filled. Took the car in for an oil change first thing, then stopped and saw the guys for a few minutes at breakfast taco place. Following that, back home to see Dani awake! We went for a little grocery store run to pick up all the necessary items for next few days…then back home for taco breakfast. Then? Cooking time! Prepped my green bean and potato salad for church potluck tomorrow. I’m actually super psyched for that one, it’s a new recipe and it should be yummy (red potatoes, fresh green beans, sliced red onions, oil, vinegar, spices & cherry tomatoes). That done, Dani and I decided a rare Saturday gym visit was in order. Drove down to the gym and conquered an upper body session, then up to car shop to pick up Dani’s car (its last hurrah to her great sorrow). Once back home, we drove out again to get some Target time! Wandered the aisles there, ending up not buying anything and then home again, where I have spent the last good bit prepping burritos for tonight’s dinner. Finally, shower and now finally couch and rest. And watching the rest of the Norway/England game. On England! And I am amused, after writing all that, I do feel justified with a nice long reading time. My body is tired, my mind is tired…it will feel good to sink into a book and enjoy some sweet rest time that my Father has given me. I did want to write more and write something deep and encouraging, but perhaps this will just be a newsy update and that’s all and I really don’t have to write anything more, as much as I often feel the weight of all the whirling thoughts and feelings that cry out.

So now? Rest and but still maybe that rest can be found in writing a little something? We shall see. Peace and love, my friends. Peace and love.

Seashore

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Good morning, friends! A Monday dawns and light breaks upon us in waves and soon the heat shall follow and we shall be reminded that yes indeed, summer is in full bloom. I wish I could say I’m grateful for summer’s heat but I don’t know if my gratitude for creation’s glory can stretch quite that far. Ah I suppose I could talk myself into it somehow. Summer is a good and proper season and the heat does make one sigh with wistful longing in anticipation for autumn’s arrival, so there is that. Summer – it’s here. July is a month that we know is going to be hot and that is that and no use complaining about it, so I shan’t.

But instead what I shall I use these few minutes before work to talk about? I don’t know, really. I opened this page knowing I had a few minutes so why not write something? I suppose I could say I’m just grateful for the time I had this morning to read the Word and meditate on God’s goodness to me. Even with not quite enough sleep last night (watching the scintillating England/Mexico game – England pulled out an all-time classic win in Mexico City – on the Lions!), I still was able to roll out of bed prior to 5am and get a shower, make coffee and then sit myself down and give myself some nice uninterrupted time to read.

Psalm 46, Proverbs 6, a series of depressing but inspired chapters in Jeremiah – oh how convicting it is to read such and oh how it makes me feel I ought be praying more for mercy for myself and our community and nation – and then beautiful chapters in Luke on the ministry of our Lord Jesus Christ. Got to read Luke 7 and the story of Jesus with the woman who was a sinner. One of my all-time favourite passages and one that never fails to bring me to a halt as I consider and ponder what my Lord has done for me. Oh how beautiful it is to think on the fact that Jesus has forgiven me all my sin. I have been forgiven much. I have been forgiven everything!! How great then ought be my love? Utterly convicting to feel how often my love is cold and dry and how often I fail to be constantly praising my Lord and God for what he has done for me. I need to spend more time meditating on the wonder that is my salvation and my forever communion with my God. What a glorious thing it is to consider that I am a child of God. I have life with God and I have it to the full. I abide in Christ and in him I find true rest. This yoke is indeed easy, this burden is indeed light. In Christ and in Christ alone do I have rest for my soul. It is good to sit at the feet of Jesus this day. Oh how I long for that someday far off trumpet call and that moment when the horizon blurs with light as I see the last dawning and behold the consummation of all things as creation is made new. Oh how I long for that day when the sky quivers and the clouds break and my Lord Jesus Christ stands before my resurrected frame. For now, I tremble in dust and ashes. Someday though, I shall see my Lord with my own eyes, even though now my flesh and my heart are oh so prone to failing. Thank you, Lord, for taking me by the hand each and every moment. Please Lord, lead me to glory.

Haven

James HoganLeave a comment

A Friday evening beckons. And this is one of my favourite types of evenings full with all my favourite types of things. I am simple, I know, but there is not much I enjoy than a quiet evening at home in which I can simply sit still and rest. Ah how wonderful it is when there are moments in which there is nothing I simply must do. Instead? We have a quiet evening ahead in which there will be sitting and reading and yes, even some watching of World Cup action (Argentina vs. Cape Verde)! It’s been a long week and though it’s been a good one – I will always be grateful for work and the normal rhythms of the day-to-day – I am so grateful we have reached its end and tonight is a night of rest. Soon enough, Dani shall be cooking dinner and we shall enjoy a hearty meal. But for now? I rest. I have thought of writing and I suppose you could say this present output is a writing of sorts. Not quite as creative as I was hoping. But you know what? That’s ok. Perfection beckons. But in this moment, simple rest is good enough.

Halfway There

James HoganLeave a comment

Hello friends! A quick little pre-work entry here. I really mean to write a longer one soon, especially as I want to chronicle this past weekend – all the delightful World Cup shenanigans and adventures that Dani and I got to experience together with Brasil in town! – but alas now is not the time as work beckons. I am grateful for the little things today. Thankful for this strong hot mug of coffee that sits before me. Rejoicing in the AC that cools the air inside this office building. Delighting in the relaxing drive in to work in which I got to listen to a sermon from God’s Word and be encouraged. I am even thankful for a good night’s sleep, even if it was of a shorter duration than I would have preferred. And yes, thankful for the ability and desire to write a few words here and let my fingers sweep across the keys and write something not work-related. It is good to sit still for a moment and consider the blessings that are mine. I am thankful for the goodness of the Lord. Peace and love, dear friends. Peace and love.

Father’s Day

James HoganLeave a comment

Happy Sunday, friends! Hope you are having a most wonderful day wherever on the world you find yourselves at the moment. I very quickly will be transitioning into reading time here since I just realized it’s already past 5pm, but I wanted to write a few words first. Because besides being the height of summer (well, at least the longest day of the year and the point at which I realize that yes, summer is here), it is also Father’s Day! And so thought I’d write a few words about my dad – yes here in a public forum and all. I mean, I write enough about myself that I suppose it shouldn’t be surprising.

How do I start? I’m grateful to have a dad that I love talking to every day. I am now past my 39th birthday and headed to my 40th (which is strange to think on), yet still one of the highlights of my day is in the morning (almost always around 7am or so) when he calls or I call and we chat for a few minutes about life and sundry. It may be about sports or food or family or politics or Scripture or random life drama. It may be for only a minute or two or it may be ten. But nonetheless, it is always oh so much a joy just to get a few minutes chatting to Dad. I treasure these moments much. Because alas, we do not live nearby and it’s only a few times a year that we actually get time together in person, so of course our phone time is precious.

But that’s just current state. I look back at my life and while I could spend far too much time talking about various moments of my life and the people that impacted me, it would not be surprising for me to say that one of the people who’s impacted me the most throughout the course of my life has been my dad. I of course have memories of all the fun things we did together as I grew up – going to baseball games in Baltimore, playing football in the park, going to the beach for vacation and playing all kinds of random games, so many cards games! – but those aren’t the memories I hold the fondest. No indeed, I think on the life my dad lived and the example he has given me. I remember growing up how he prioritized his walk with the Lord – this walking being both literal and metaphorical! – and I remember how he talked about God in such a way that I had no doubt God was real. I remember the deliberate time he took to go outside and walk in the woods and pray to God almost every day when we were small. I remember how he made it a point of focus to lead my family in Bible-reading and singing and prayer almost every evening before we went to bed. At times I’m sure I wasn’t excited about it or didn’t truly understand all that was going on. Yet one thing I did get. It was important to spend time meditating on God’s word and worshipping him in spirit and truth. I had no doubt that my dad loved God mightily. I had no doubt that the faith of my dad was real.

But yes, even as I got older I made the realization all kids someday make. Wait…my dad isn’t actually perfect, is he? Yet even that was a lesson to me. I saw how Dad leaned on the Lord and cried out to him and made God his support and strength even in his very own weakness. I witnessed my Dad’s utter reliance on God in the valley of the shadow of death and his steadfastness even when life was ever so hard. I think of one word when I think of my dad – faithfulness. Throughout the travails of this life, he pressed on to know the Lord and be faithful in the day to day. Oh that has been an inspiration to me and even now it is something I often think on. I have no desire for great things in my own life. I simply want to be faithful to my God no matter what comes. My parents had many trials and tribulations they passed through (and are still passing through!) yet I witnessed my dad’s faithfulness to His Lord throughout. My dad spent the last twenty-six years of his ministry as a pastor of a small church and times were not always easy or fun in this ministry. Still yet? Dad was faithful in the strength of the Lord. And beyond that? I witnessed his love. I sometimes fear my own love is cold and not what it should be and I cry out to God to soften my heart. For I remember the example of Dad and how he loved others – he loved the weak and the downtrodden and the poor, the people in this world who most would despise and think little of. My dad loved them in real and tangible ways, with time, money & emotional energy, seeking day in and day out to show the love of Christ to those people around him who needed it. Oh that I might model such in my own life, loving others as I put their needs before my own!

And wrapping this up, as I know I have written too much already. I see the love Dad has for my mom and for us his children. Even now as I seek to love my own wife, I remember how Dad loves Mom and puts her needs and wants before his own and how he does all he can to protect, honour, love and cherish her in the mundane of the day to day. Oh if I could love Dani only a fraction as well as Dad loves Mom, I’ll be grateful!! And I see how Dad loves us his children. Yes, he loved us in raising and providing for us and giving us fun times. But also? He loved us in disciplining us and training us in the way in which we should go, teaching us the things of the Lord and mightily modeling what it is to be a child of God. He showed us true humility, what it means to be a servant of all. Dad showed me that only through daily going to the Lord in His Word and in prayer would we truly be able to thrive and rejoice in the trials of the everyday. Even now, as I seek to read the Word each and every day in the knowledge of how much it benefits my soul, I thank God that he gave me such an earthly father, one who points to my heavenly father.

Yes, I know that Dad isn’t perfect. He’s a man, after all. Yet by the grace of God, he’s a redeemed man, one who God chose and blessed and called in ministry to serve him all the rest of his days. And so as I think on my own life and recognize my own follies and frailties, I thank God for the gift of my earthly father and how God has used him to bless me so. I thank God that through him, I am reminded of what it is to be a man of God. I lean on my Lord in quiet desperation and in fervent hope look above to what is to come, that day when we shall be with the Lord and see his face. I know that this too is what Dad longs for. We look to that day when we will be in the presence of our heavenly father and we worship together as brothers, forever.

Stanley Says

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A quiet night ahead hurrah! It’s been raining on and off all day and while I’m grateful that we don’t need fear a drought anytime soon, I am a little bit tired of the constant wetness, I must confess. Someday soon perhaps the sun will show her face again. I have hopes! Now though I’m grateful for a night in which a hearty dinner shall be enjoyed and Dani and I can sit and be still and rest. So thankful for nights such as this. I would like to do some creative writing at some point, but my brain is starting to tick down and I don’t feel like my reserves have enough left to fire off the creative engines. Ah I sigh. I do feel that writing would do me ever so much good but I just don’t trust myself to write anything worthy. Of course, it’s not always about worthiness, true? I have had this thought before. Sometimes simply the stretching of one’s imagination and allowing oneself to run on down the path is enough, no matter the destination and no matter if the castle fades to mist a few hours down the line. So instead I think I will allow myself to enjoy a quiet night in which my mind settles more comfortably into this achingly wistful mood and my body relaxes on the couch in which I sit. I shall perhaps sip on something cold and let my eyes dance down a page of a favourite book. It is good to rest, is it not?

Splish Splash

James HoganLeave a comment

Hello friends! Saturday here and it has been a productive one thus far. I am pleased. A nice walk down MKT way when I woke up. Yes it felt like a sauna, but was still lovely to stretch my legs and wake up both in body and mind. Following, a bit of coffee and reading time. And then? Dani and I got to work! It had been far too long since we’d had a good deep-cleaning session, so it was time. She worked on kitchen and bathroom and I moved furniture and cleaned all the long-rooted dust and dirt and debris that had made its home in all the dark undisturbed crevices of our little domicile. A few hours later, we feel tired yet happy. A good morning’s work. Now? I rest for a minute here on the couch and soon we shall gallivant off somewhere in town. But figured I’d grab the spare minute here and write a few words on my latest read.

48. The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss. Oh I do love this book. I felt in the mood for a comfy and beautiful fantasy recently and realized I hadn’t read this one in a while. Picked it up off the shelf and sunk into it and…yup, every bit as good as I remembered. I don’t care about all the fuss about this being an incomplete series and likely never to be finished, etc. Even so, this book is a worthy read and always makes me happy. Reading it now a good 15 years since I first read it, I can recognize that I’ve grown a bit in mind and soul and there are parts of this book that make me roll my eyes a bit as I recognize the immaturity of the boy at the center of this one. Yet Kvothe is quite young and so I suppose it’s proper? I simply love the style in which Rothfuss writes – it’s lovely and poetic and he has such a way with words. Yes, the tone can be a bit condescending and overwrought at times, but even then I don’t care all that much – the moments and scenes that Rothfuss describes are just so beautiful. There are several sequences in this book that pull at my heart strings almost every time and near on make me weep for beauty. This isn’t a perfect book but I shan’t point out the minor imperfections now. I still love this one and firmly believe it’s one of the finest fantasy works written in the past thirty years. I honestly can’t think of a better one at the moment.

Small Things

James HoganLeave a comment

Hello friends! Quick Wednesday morning post before work kicks up into high gear. Most grateful that my body was able to wake up so expeditiously this morning and I enjoyed a lovely long time of reading as I sipped my coffee. Read one of my all-time fav passages (Psalm 27! Always oh so encouraging) and also some beautiful words in Isaiah and Matthew. Bonus reading in John Owen Vol. 7 – still plugging away, I think I’m almost halfway done! Though the current material on apostasy isn’t quite as warming for my soul as some of the previous reading I’ve done in Owen, still good and needful words contained therein. Finally rolled on towards the office here and arrived only five minutes past six. I suppose that may be an absurd start time to some, but I do love mornings and getting an early start is never a bad thing. Now I take small sips of the slightly subpar work coffee and prepare for a busy day. I am tempted to sigh and fret as I consider what approaches, yet no. I lift my eyes to heaven and acknowledge the God who is and lift my voice to heaven and thank the God who cares. Let’s think on love and beauty this fine day. Have a lovely one, dear friends!

Forty Eight

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Hello friends! A Sunday afternoon post here. I am freshly showered and feel cool and clean and it is truly delightful, especially after the last hour I spent outside sweating vigorously in the glorious steam bath that is our weather here in June just now. Not sure why I’ve been in such a walking mood lately, but that’s now two walks for the day. Went for my usual Sunday walk immediate upon waking this morning. The sun wasn’t quite peeking over the trees yet still the humidity bid me a hearty hello. But I did love the walk and it did me good before I eventually came back and had my pre-church coffee and reading time. Then this past hour? I could have and probably should have just sat down and enjoyed the cool of the flat this Sunday afternoon. Instead for some reason I was itching to move and be outside and so I went out and let my legs stride on. A little 3 mile walk, ho hum. But it was good. Chatted with Earnie on the phone the whole time, which was glorious indeed. It has been oh so long since we’ve had a proper chat and it was very much encouraging to my soul. Now? I think reading time approaches. Candle is already lit and flickering on the table and soon I shall turn on some music. No more World Cup games on right now, alas!! I have been much enjoying all the World Cup action lately. Group stages which means multiple games every day and it’s just fantastic! The US team (surprisingly somehow) played a very adequate opener game against Paraguay. 4-1 and 3 points, hurrah! On to Australia. Yesterday Dani and I went went down with Angela and Lauren to a downtown bar that was swarmed with Brasilians and we cheered on Brasil with all our might. Alas they managed only a draw against Morocco. Well, Morocco is a strong team. Or at least that’s what we keep telling ourselves. And last night, Scotland grabbed 3 points against Haiti!! Oh Scotland let’s go!!! Though I don’t have high hopes of them going deep (especially with Brasil & Morocco both in their group), I’m hoping they make it to knockouts. We shall see. But that’s enough football talk for now I suppose. I do love the World Cup though and it makes me so happy that we have so many games upcoming these next few weeks!! Even today, there was a game actually played in Houston! (Germany vs. Curacao) Just wish the ticket prices were slightly less expensive. Ah well. Now I’m off for real. Sorry for all the rambling, maybe I shall write something more substantial in a bit. Peace and love, my friends.

Breakfast

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Hello friends and happy Friday! It’s been a bit and thought I’d bring back that old classic – an early morning pre-work post! Not promising I’ll say anything profound of course, just thought I’d dash out a few lines and say hello. I’m ever so grateful for a work-from-home day this Friday. Been a busy past few days at the office and so to have a day at home today is truly a joy. Already about done with my first cup of coffee and thinking it’s almost time to brew my second. But right now, enjoying a few quiet moments of peace.

It is good to be still and silent and meditate on life and all that has come before and all that now is and all that is yet to be. At times I feel we can be oh so busy dashing between this errand and that appointment and this event and that outing that we have no time to reflect and ponder. I confess that is not usually my weakness – some could say I have too much time to think and write! Yet I would still argue that we do such a good job filling our time that there is not those in between spaces that are so valuable to the health and growth of our own minds and souls. Those in between spaces are when our minds wander down those little paths and think thoughts that may turn out to be ever so fruitful. Of course not always. Sometimes we let our minds dance into thickets and briar patches that are not quite as amenable to our thriving! But still the point stands that we need to be careful how we are filling our time. Or how we are allowing our time to be filled. Even think of that ever present quite helpful device the phone. When we are at the store in line or in the elevator or just on the couch trying to read…how often do we pull out the phone on autopilot idly scrolling away at whatever the algorithm has decided to present to us that moment? And so we allow our minds to be filled and occupied by much that is not ideal. I am attempting to be more purposeful on what I think on. Ought we not think on what is good and true and lovely and meditate more on the real and beautiful instead of letting our minds pick at the vacuous fripperies that are shoved our way?

So today let’s think on the beautiful. I want to ponder how much I have been blessed and meditate on the God who made me and all things. I want to think more of Christ and the beauties contained in his work and word and all the glories he has brought me as he bought me with the blood he shed oh so many years ago. I want to think on that greater story that makes all else fade as I consider the solidity and reality of the fact that I am a child of God. What a wonder it is to consider the anchor that holds me fast as I know I am held and loved by the God who calls my name. Though too often I fear the storms of life and let anxiety fill my heart as I wonder what is to come, I need not fear. The storms may howl and the winds may wail yet no matter all the water that slops in the boat, I am confident that this boat in which I sit will never sink and that it will never run aground. Only someday I look forward to when we land on that far shore and I step out on the beach with heart exultant, eager for a good breakfast of fish and toast and communion with the one for whom my heart longs. Now we know in part – one day we shall know fully just as we are fully known. Peace and love, my friends. Peace and love.