Tag: journal

According to Some

James HoganLeave a comment

Hello friends! Happy Saturday!! I would promise I’d write a nice newsy post just now, but I really won’t be doing any such thing. It has been a most lovely full day here and I am now at the point where there are a few minutes for me to sit on the couch and rest and I think I desire some reading time (cue everyone’s shocked face). Tomorrow I will try and write. I think. But truly, today was beautiful. A nice walk down to coffeeshop and precious moments reading and meditating on the truths of God. Back home to Dani and then we were off for breakfast tacos! All the yummy tacos were devoured as is proper. Following that, errands and driving around city for us, or adventure times, as Dani and I like to say. Home once again, were we done? Of course not. A MKT walk was enjoyed in the fading evening sun and then one more grocery store errand before home again. Really this was not an efficient day. But does everything have to be about efficiency? Today was a beautiful day enjoying the small wonders that my God has granted me. I am ever so grateful and my heart is full.

Now? About to read some of the “Apostolic Fathers” and perhaps some Anne of Green Gables following. Chopin plays in the background. A candle flickers softly. Eventually dinner time shall be had. And Dani and I will look at each other and smile in most certain love.

Second Spring

James HoganLeave a comment

Good morning friends! About to dive into the maelstrom of work and become reacquainted with all the projects that I had left behind (and hopefully discover that my unread emails are in the 3-digits and not 4-digits) but I can breathe deep now and thank my God for being with me no matter what storms befall me. Grateful for time this morning to sip on my coffee and read good true words and meditate on the God who died for me. I wish I had more time to chronicle all the doings in Florida these past days, but maybe later, we shall see. Ever so thankful to my God for all he has given to me. I sometimes don’t quite understand the mercies that have been shown me. I walk down that aisle with a bouquet of death, possibly not that attractive in my graveclothes. Yet I walk. Miraculously so. And then somehow my garments transfigured and my face shining, I approach my Lord. It is good to meditate on such thoughts as these. Each and every day presents its own challenges, its own trials and tribulations. Yet I live in the light of the glory that is being found in Christ. My heart strums in vibrant harmony with the song creation sings unceasing. Stars and seas lift up their voices and I cannot help but hum along.

To Its Rising

James HoganLeave a comment

Hello friends! A week winds to an end. I am tired. But oh I am happy. Soon rest shall be mine and all the reunions and all the smiles and hugs and I cannot wait. But for now, grateful for another week of work and that my God has given me the strength to stay the course and prosper. Now? A walk has been taken and though hot, it was so ever so lovely to walk with my Dani. Now showered and on the couch, think I will read a few words, but firstly…book review time? Maybe?? I am behind, after all. I shall be brief, even if the books are deserving of more words than my feeble pen has ink to give them.

19. The Shadow Things by Jennifer Freitag. A lovely little story chronicling a might-have-been in the Britain of long ago (shortly post-Roman occupation). I did treasure this one and was sad when it came to its all too soon conclusion. It’s a simple tale and some might accuse if of a lack of subtlety but I don’t think subtlety was in the author’s mind! I loved reading the account of a young man who hears the gospel of Jesus Christ and comes to faith in the God who he knows is real, even the God who rules over all the gods. The author is not at all shy about her characters boldly but simply proclaiming the truths of the Christian faith and working out what this reality would mean in a pagan community that knew only the gods of their fathers. This story is winsome and sweet but also there are some truly tragic and brutal moments, blood-soaked tragedy and moments that caused me to raise my hand to my mouth in fear. I wish this story was longer. There are times when the author skips ahead and doesn’t show the full journey and depth of growth of Indi as the tale progresses. And the end is almost too neat. Still though? This story is an example of one I wish there were more of in the world. We see the gospel of God proclaimed and the Holy Spirit working with power to transform the lives of men and women in beautiful splendor amidst the broken lives lived in this broken world. This book does not deny the hardships and tears that are part and parcel with the cross we take up as we follow Jesus. But instead, this book makes it most clear that this life we live now is indeed not the full hope to which we are called. We live in faithful obedience in the day to day, with humility and love pointing towards our Lord as we walk in pilgrimage, waiting for that day when the veil shall be pulled back and we shall behold the real. It shall be glorious.

Songs of Spring

James HoganLeave a comment

Hello friends! Sunday evening here and it is still gloriously bright outside. But no, I am not writing this from outside myself, I regret to say. Dani and I did accomplish a most lovely walk soaking in the unseasonably warm sunlight and treading the well-worn Heights paths. It ended up at new ice cream shop whereupon some pistachio ice cream was much enjoyed (by Dani) and then our feet finally wandered on home. Now I feel a bit tired but the good kind of tired, the kind where your body is grumbling a bit but your soul is happy knowing the miles walked were worthwhile ones. Now you can picture evening here if you know me even a little bit. Tomato sauce bubbles gently on the stove. A candle is flickering on the table. A little classical music plays on the TV. It’s a random spring compilation at moment, but I think I may put on Beethoven’s violin concerto in a moment – discovered a new performance by Alena Baeva that I am rather looking forward to listening to. And yes, a book at the side. I thought about writing something more – poetry or ponderings on the powerfully rich and beautiful sermon this morning? Perhaps a poem later, I know not. As for the sermon, we meditated upon the death of Christ. Luke 23:26-43 and the wonder that is God going forth to die that we might live. The one man in all history that could have not died and yet he did not save himself. No, he did not. He died so that we might live. He died so even I might one day be with him in paradise. Oh my soul thrills at the thought. Jesus, how I long to be with you.

Hidden Places

James HoganLeave a comment

It is good to sit and be still this quiet Friday morning. Soon enough I’ll breathe deep and begin the work day and plunge into all its many fires that must be fought and conquered. But for now, I’ll relish the quiet of a day that has not yet fully awakened. I have had a few minutes to luxuriate in the quiet of our little flat and think on things that my mind can’t quite comprehend in all their glory. My coffee is still warm and its bitter loveliness is a little pleasure that brings me much joy. I think you know the feeling? I sigh. I wish I had more time to read and rest today, but the clock ticks relentlessly on. So grateful for the time I did have, reading one of my all-time favourite Psalms – Psalm 118 in all its comforting grace and profound prophetic majesty! I shall write more about this at a future time, but let it be said that there are few Psalms that speak as clearly of Jesus Christ and the salvation that he holds out to us. Also got a few moments in John 15 reading about what it means to rest and remain in Christ. Oh how sweet it is to be on that vine and know that I am united to Christ. What this fully means this feeble mind cannot quite grasp. But I know that I am one with Jesus and I cling ever more closely to the love that is my Lord’s. As I look upward and delight in the everyday obedience and faithfulness that comes in my union with Jesus, I rejoice. I rejoice for love unbounded.

Suit Up

James HoganLeave a comment

Morning all! It’s a little pre-work post here and I really only have a minute or two so you all shall be spared a long rambling post. Wanted to shout out the gorgeous mid-March weather which after today will be pretty much non-existent until some eight months from now. 40 degrees this morning? Yes please and thank you. I with great glee put on my cosy black turtleneck and my good black wool coat and feel all properly attired for this last reminder of winter’s presence. I am thankful for the little things, like walking out my front door and feeling the cool air on my face and breathing deep and reminding myself that these small beautiful moments are but a taste of what is to come. This is an office day and so I had a nice drive here listening to a sermon and meditating on the mercies of God especially to such a feeble one as I. Thinking on the story of David and Nabal and Abigail and the mercy of God toward David in drawing him away from his wicked inclination toward vengeance and directing him toward the path of mercy and the beautiful picture of Christ present in Abigail and her valiant deeds and discretion in placing herself between wrath and its deserving object. Oh how wonderful it is to spend a few moments now thinking on the person of Jesus and pondering his staggeringly vast and beautiful love for me.

Imminent

James HoganLeave a comment

Hello friends! A beautiful Sunday has been enjoyed. Dani and I got a nice long walk in, albeit in possibly the most humid environment possible, to our great sighing dissatisfaction. Still though. It was good to be outside and soak in the sunlight and enjoy a nice long ramble together, talking of all and sundry. And we were not walking just to walk although so often that is what we do. We ended up at Kaboom eventually and it was a glorious few minutes browsing the stacks as I hoped to find a treasure. I will admit this was one of those rare cases where I did not buy anything! I did find an old 1916 copy of “The Possessed”, but decided not now, since I have no idea when I would end up reading it. Was really hoping to find a copy of “Brothers Karamazov” but oddly enough there were none to be found. Hopefully next time! Dani and I finally arrived back home and oh how good it is now after my shower to be sitting in my little corner chair enjoying the supreme relaxation that is felt after a good long walk. Dinner will be burritos and tomato and avocado soon enough. But not yet. I shall talk for a few words on my latest book and then it shall be time to read – “Gospel According to Jesus” still encouraging my soul.

16. First Love by Ivan Turgenev. Was initially thinking this would finally be the exception to prove the rule – the first of the great Russians that ended up a disappointment. And I will say that this tale is simple enough and not grand or epic in any way. But this little mid-19th century Russian story proved in the end to be worth the read. I had not read Turgenev before but heard enough that I was eager for this one. Yet the story seemed so bare bones and simple on its face, and so it is for the most part. There is not much subtlety in this one. Yet it is worth it simply for the last few pages and the reflection on mortality and what life really means and what it all points towards. The last few pages were sublime and worth the seeming-superficiality of some of the earlier pages. Grateful I read this one and I will not hesitate to pick up another Turgenev in the future. This was just a short story after all, so curious to see what his novels are like. I am a simple man of simple tastes and apparently I still haven’t met a 19th-century Russian tale that I dislike.

Three Steps to Summer

James HoganLeave a comment

A late afternoon has crept upon me and I find myself somehow surprised that it already has ticked near on 5pm. It is a simply gorgeous spring day here even if a bit warmer than I would desire. The sun still shines overhead and the breeze ruffles my shirt and reminds me that summer is not yet here. I almost let this afternoon slip away, drowsing away the weariness at home. Yet…upon looking outside and seeing the day blazing brilliant blue, how could I stay indoors? And so on go the shoes, with book and laptop tossed in backpack and away I went. It’s been a while since I’ve done the afternoon EQ walk. And though it isn’t quite EQ anymore – not sure I will ever be used to calling it Caffvino – it is lovely to sit here on the porch once more and enjoy the steady hum of the conversations round about. The music layers on and then also the traffic sounds are omnipresent as one may guess. I do find myself amused at the music playlist choices. While at one time it was punk and rock and emo angst, now…well, sounds more like hipster-folk-core or some such. Sounds like music one might listen to as they drive the mountain roads, camping gear slung on top. Definitely not the music of EQ of old.

Now what shall my fingers dance on to talk about? I suppose I might further share the loveliness of the day and chronicle my morning. I woke up later than typical but it was still early enough to enjoy a walk before the sun had fully risen above the horizon. A quick cup of coffee was brewed into my little to-go cup and onward I walked – MKT trail as is proper of a morning. Oh how beautiful sang the day! It was just cool enough that I relished the warm sips of coffee I would take from time to time and yet just warm enough to make me think of springtime. And speaking of springtime…as I walked down the trail, I caught a whiff of loveliness and stopped of a sudden. Could it be? And yes it was. The first scent of jasmine of spring. Always a delight and it will never not be one of my favourite moments of the year. I looked to my right and saw the very first delicate blooms of jasmine on the hedge that ran along the trail. How could my heart not sing? Ah how I love the jasmine flower and the memories that come with! With renewed joy I walked further down the trail down to the bridge, the spot from which many times I have stopped and thought and mused and prayed and this day I let my eyes dance as they gazed upon the bayou stretching towards downtown and the far-off buildings that seemed as dwarfs under the eastern sky. The sun now said hello in full and shimmered in a friendly manner and reminded me that a lovely day was at hand. I walked back and let my eyes rest upon the construction work that some may call a blight yet I find a treasure. The old buildings with the faded “COMPANY REFINERY” upon the side are now being renewed once more, the faded bricks glorified as the new windows are fitted and the surrounding ground turned over in preparation for what is to come – unknown to me yet I hope perhaps for something more than a retail park or office spaces. We shall see. Yet it gives me joy to see buildings not torn down and tossed asunder but renewed and made to rise again in splendour. I walked past the construction site and soon enough found myself almost home. I stopped to stretch and laughed to myself at how good my legs felt in the process. Does this mean my legs are not quite as young as they used to be that I find such pleasure in the perfect feeling of completion that comes after a proper stretch? Perhaps, perhaps. I have been accused of not looking as young as I used to, after all. Later on in the day, I would receive a comment from someone who had not seen me in a while remarking upon my salt and pepper hair. Well, I will not deny that my years have crept up upon me. And I will in that acknowledgement look up to heaven and say a prayer and praise my God for all that He has granted me. This has been a good day. It has been a day that I have been reminded that even as I turn towards sunset there is a far country that calls my name.

She Sits Atop the Wooden Table

James HoganLeave a comment

A bare few words here this cold Friday morning. I was hoping I’d have time to write something profound and sweeping and glorious and in actuality I did have the time. Alas, I am at times my own worst enemy and instead of writing I found my thoughts bobbing here and there and my focus slipping as I darted to and fro on the interwebs instead of attempting to write a few words here. Now attempting to salvage, though I fear it will simply be a life raft floating on the dying waves. Anyway! Does one have to write of a morning to make it a worthwhile one? I say not, most certainly invested in the answer – as most mornings I of course do not! So I shall rest in this day and look forward to seeing what God has in store for me his child. It is a good day, that I declare in full confidence and humble expectation. Perhaps I shall write a few words later today or maybe even this weekend. We shall see. But whether I write or not, still know that my face is still turned up in gratitude to heaven and that my heart beats in time with the song of angels. Peace, my friends. Peace and love.

A Day Arises She Sings Once Again

James HoganLeave a comment

I really must write more. It is early Monday morning here in the flat and I have been perusing old entries and it has perhaps put me in a nostalgic mood. Also I have noted how my writing style has changed and morphed over the years in both content and form. For better or for worse? I shall leave others to say. But it is certain that in the past my entries used to be a bit more proper journal style and now, well…it seems that only my poetical or grasping creative fancies are what I decide to pour out on this screen. Oh, and book reviews of course. Never forget the book reviews! I wonder what it is, this slight drawing back, this pulling the curtain over my face ever so slightly. It perhaps reflects my growing, maturation dare I say? Maybe it is an acknowledgement that the internet is not quite as young and innocent as it was back in the day. Of course it never was, but I was more naive back then. Now, if I share on here, it feels riddles is the order of the day. Wade through enough metaphorical language and you may glimpse my heart. I know not all the reasons yet still it is fascinating to wonder.

And now my mind drifts as my fingers wander and I think perhaps it’s alright that I don’t write of my days in detail as I once used to do. Though I’m grateful for the chronicling of the past and the memories that now float through my mind for it spurs thoughts of gratitude and joy. Gratitude to the God who has blessed me far more than this young man could ever have hoped to dream. Joy for the life this same God has given me – a life poured out as offering devoted to the One who holds my hand yet a life blazing forth full of light from that same God who fills me in ways I most likely won’t ever truly comprehend. I am a broken vessel, a clay pot. Who am I to show forth this brilliant glory? Who am I to write down this achingly beautiful song? I bow my head in praises to the One who made me, to the One who called my name.

Perhaps I shall write more of my life in the future. Perhaps not. But I’m grateful for the thoughts that flood my being and the emotions that well up within.