Surfside

I have so much I could write about…but so little time…hence, I shall log my latest read(already a few days late on this!):

25. The Works of John Owen, Vol 3: The Holy Spirit by John Owen. And there you go. After more than a year(not exactly sure when I started it, but I think it was in 2017??), with gaps where I took time to read other theological works…I have finished Vol 3 of Owen’s Works. What a masterpiece of a book. I’m not sure how often I’ve written of Owen here, so I guess I should be brief. This book was all about the Holy Spirit and His work (mostly in our lives as Christians – but not exclusively!). Apparently this volume was not big enough to contain all of Owen’s thoughts on the Spirit though…as Volume 4 is called “The Work of the Spirit”! But this book was very encouraging to my soul. I very much hesitate to recommend Owen, as he’s a difficult read at the best of times, and most would probably not get much out of it. I tend to read so quickly though, that when reading many books, I miss out on the truth within because I’m just reading so fast! With Owen though…because of his dense and obtuse writing style, I’m forced to read slower and analyse carefully what he’s saying…and so in a weird way, I am more greatly benefited by his Puritan language than I am by more modern authors(like a Keller or a Piper…both of whom for some reason I’m not really either edified or moved by as much…). But reading Owen’s words on the Spirit of God – and how He indeed actively works in our lives and how this knowledge should drive us to holiness and dependence on God for all things…indeed humbling and thrilling all at the same time. I’m rambling a bit, I know, so I shall close. But one of my takeaways from this hefty tome is the beauty and sheer necessity of our holiness as Christians. When we sin before God, we show God that we despise Him and His words. Is that what we want? As we know that we are sons and daughters of God…as we know that we are a temple of the Holy Spirit…our driving passion should be to honour our Lord God in every word we speak and every step we take. Be holy, as our Father in heaven is holy. We are God’s children, fellow heirs with Christ Himself. Meditate today on what it means to truly abide in Christ. Remain at peace in the love of God, which burns brighter and hotter and more beautifully than anything we can even begin to imagine.

A somewhat Odd phenomenon In this Early morning

So very quickly I write!! Just wanted to comment briefly on some words I read this morning in 1 Samuel 2. Sobering words, but God’s Word nonetheless. Was reading about the sons of Eli, who were…not nice men. As is made abundantly clear. The text describes some of their sins against God, against the people who brought sacrifices, and against women. I shall not go into all that here. But we do see these lines, “Now the sons of Eli were worthless men; they did not know the Lord.” And again a few verses later, “Thus the sin of the young men was very great before the Lord”. Chilling words. Now eventually their father Eli heard about his sons’ reputation. Why he didn’t already know about their wicked behaviour and terrible sins, I know not. I don’t think Eli can be held up as a model father, that is for sure. But we see that he learned through various rumors and reports about what his sons were up to and we see that he (finally!!) talked to his sons and chastised them and made it clear that what they were doing was “evil” and that they were sinning “against the Lord”. But what does the text say next? “But they would not listen to the voice of their father, for the Lord desired to put them to death.” Right then. This is a hard verse to understand…could not the Lord show mercy and give them a chance to repent? But it seems clear that their hearts were hardened and God had judged them for their sins and now despite the warning of their father…they could not hear nor could they repent, nor desired they to repent – because God’s judgment was incoming and could not be turned away. These are fearsome words. At the end of the day, we do not understand all of God’s ways, but we must rest in His sovereignty and His goodness. God is just in all His ways, so do we all confess. So do I confess.

And so what can we learn from these words? Firstly, to sin against the Lord and to disobey His commands is most grievous indeed and worthy of all judgment, worthy of eternal horror and death. Do not take lightly the commands of God. Holiness is greatly prized by God, for God is holy and He desires that we all be holy before Him. Secondly, be warned that to reject God and His commands is a very serious thing, for as you reject God, so shall God reject you. Thirdly and finally – I must end on a note of hope, so the hope that I offer is that because we are all utterly wicked apart from God, so does God offer a pure and perfect sacrifice of His only Son, who can make us right before God. Only through Jesus can we find peace with God. And peace with God…there is nothing greater than that. Flee to Christ this day. Before it is too late and before the words of this passage could be applied to you – “for the Lord desired to put them to death”. Flee to Christ, cry out for your salvation. For God is truly merciful and compassionate and desires that you would come to Him. And God does most surely offer you rest for your souls.

A Note of Grace

Good morning, friends!! I only have a bare few minutes to write…really not even that long, though I did want to say a few words. I read (amongst other things) in Luke 19 today and it’s a glorious chapter with so much I could talk about…from Jesus talking about his going away and not returning for a long time, and how we are to use what He has given us in the meantime, not just sit around waiting for Him…and then scarily enough(this is definitely not the Jesus of popular culture) he talks about those people who did not want Him to reign over them. What happens with those people? This is a democracy right, and if they don’t want Jesus, then fair enough, yup? We all get to choose our own destinies!! Not quite. At the end of that parable, the returning King calls for those who did not want Him to rule to be brought to Him and slain in His presence. Well. Alright then. And then more sobering words, with Jesus arriving at Jerusalem and weeping at their soon-coming judgment because they had missed their visitation – rejected their King. But as sad as these words are – we are comforted by the fact that Jesus will come again…and we shall truly say – “Blessed is He who comes in the Name of the Lord”. Oh how I long for that day. But since I have no time and I really can’t talk about all these words, just going to mention my favourite verse in this chapter, the very last one. It is talking about how Jesus is preaching daily in the temple and the religious leaders were trying to destroy him, yet they couldn’t. Here I’ll quote verse 19 in its entirety – “…and they could not find anything that they might do, for all the people were hanging on to every word He said.” That is beautiful enough in and of itself – imagine the scene, people just soaking in the words of Jesus, eyes enraptured, hearts afire. But I glanced over at the footnote as I read and noted that those last few words are literally in the Greek, “…for all the people were hanging on to Him, listening.” Do we have that kind of attitude towards Jesus? Do we have such a desire to know Him more that we could be described as “hanging on to Him, listening”? Each and every day – how do we approach our Lord? I pray that this day we all might burn with passion to be closer, closer to Jesus. Read the Word of God and be in awe at the Light of His Truth. Listen, listen, my friends – to our glorious Lord. Do not miss His visitation – for He has truly offered Himself to all those who cry out to Him. What glory. What beauty. What love. Embrace Jesus and what He has done – for us. Hold on to Jesus and listen. He calls to you. Listen. Listen.

Fireside

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise
Thou mine inheritance, now and always
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart
High King of heaven, my Treasure Thou art

High King of heaven, my victory won
May I reach heaven’s joys, O bright heav’n’s Sun
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all

Wanderlust

It’s a lovely day – well it’s Friday so of course it is – and I’m enjoying my peppermint mocha – what else!? – and thought I’d share a few words…

Read some wonderful words in Psalms 5 and 6 and then in Leviticus(which was a bit more dry but still good because it is the Word) but the one verse I want to share was from Proverbs 25:27 – “It is not good to eat much honey, nor is it glory to search out one’s own glory.”  This was convicting and I love it for multiple reasons.  Firstly, I do enjoy my honey.  I put it in coffee, I put it in my smoothies, I put it in tea…it is pretty much my go-to sweetener.  Honey is fantastic!!  But…I do need to be careful not to overdo it, do I not?  Firstly, if I put half a cup of honey in my smoothie, besides being slightly unhealthy, it would also taste sickly sweet and disgusting.  So yes, too much of a good thing like honey…can sour very quickly.  But enough focus on the honey – what is the author saying here?  It is not “glory to search out one’s own glory”.  Glory is something that can be pretty sweet, right?  We like being praised, we like being thought well of.  We like to be liked.  Some don’t care to be liked…but they still want to be recognized and acclaimed.  We all want to be known.  So just as it can be oh so tempting to add a few more dollops of honey to our morning coffee, so can we be quickly allured by the promise of our own glory, acclaim and honor.  Live in such a way to bring honor and glory to the Father.  But to do things to bring about your own glory?  Thus is vanity.  Thus is foolishness.  Because self-sought glory may be sweet on the tongue, but it will sour in the stomach.  Do not seek to heap honors on yourself.  They will vanish quickly, like ashes in the wind.

To close – if we should not search out our own glory, what should we do?  Well – there are many things we should do and I don’t have time to explicate them all.  But I will simply leave you with this for now – be faithful in obedience to God and seek to know God more.  Long after the deep, wonderful things of God.

Peace and love.

To Sleep,

I sit at Starbucks right now with my mocha americano and I ponder the lovingkindesses of the Lord.

I remember the days of old;
I meditate on all Your doings;
I muse on the work of Your hands.
I stretch out my hands to You;
my soul longs for You, as a parched land.

Answer me quickly, O Lord, my spirit fails;
do not hide Your face from me,
or I will become like those who go down to the pit.

Let me hear Your lovingkindness in the morning;
for I trust in You;
teach me the way in which I should walk;
for to You I lift up my soul.

-Psalm 143:5-8

Lovely words which I read this morning.  I do still mean to read Hebrews at some point today, but my time flees, my time trickles away as sand in an hourglass.  I’m excited to start reading Hebrews soon though, since in my OT reading I am going through Exodus(and soon Leviticus) so will be so intriguing to be reading the ceremonial and moral law of the Hebrews compared to the work and glories of the gospel as revealed in Christ by the author of the book of Hebrews!  And seeing the faint glories of God that are proclaimed by the shadows of the past…praise be to God for the mysteries of the gospel that have been revealed through Jesus Christ our Lord and His tragic death and most shocking resurrection!!!

Now further – what shall I say?  I did mean to write this entry to chronicle a bit of the past day and I suppose I can do that (but quickly!).  Indeed yesterday was a marvelous day that was given to me by my Lord in which I was reminded of the love that is mine, both from my God and from my many dear friends with whom I have been blessed abundantly!  And while it mostly consisted of work(but at least it was Friday, so duties were not overly onerous!), it was delightful to come back to my place at the end of the day and relish a weekend ahead.  After my workout, I walked down to EQ and enjoyed an hour on the porch there, reading my new book(about mitochondria and their origins and function in the cell…yes I’m a nerd and yes I’m far too excited by the subject matter!!  …still waiting for them to mention farandolae…) and then I walked home.  Didn’t have any more free time then, for it was about time for Earnie and Peter to come over!  I really meant not to plan anything last night, but both of them made mention of the fact that we should get together so I acquiesced and a delightful evening was had.  Earnie brought drinks and Peter brought a cake(chocolate and vanilla with strawberries on top!!) and I picked up some Pizza Hut…and so we talked and ate and shared the highs and lows of our past year…and reminded ourselves of the goodness of the Lord in each other’s lives and it was beautiful.  And so did I get the quiet night I had anticipated?  No.  Did I get the early night’s sleep I expected?  A thousand times no, since I think I didn’t get to bed until after one!  Was I blessed muchly by the events of the evening?  A thousand times yes.

And then this morning, after a few hours sleep, I woke up and had a cup of coffee and a scant few minutes’ reading time…and then off to breakfast with Jake and Julian and Earnie…hours spent around a food-laden table, discussing our lives and our loves and the passion that fills our hearts to know Christ and to make Him known.  To have such godly and loving friends as I do…I hesitate to say I deserve any of this, for I truly don’t.  I only know that I treasure such moments, quiet morning talks with far too much coffee and an abundance of encouraging, uplifting and fruitful conversation.

Now I sit here at Starbucks.  And as my mocha americano lingers on the tongue, memories of wistful eyes and dark brown curls linger in the mind.  Yes yes, I shall not think over-long on this, but as Jake mentioned today about Katie being in his current bible study…she crossed my mind yet again.  But hey – she is not for me and all is well with my soul.

About time to go do some shopping and errands…and then looking forward to a brunch with Jules – I know not what we will talk about, but I do know that our time will be lovely, as it always is.  And tonight…Jared is coming over to hang out and watch the Lightning game together.  Game 5 of Eastern Finals…go Tampa Bay!!!  (Beat the Caps!  – words I almost never say!!)

I must fly, but as is noted in the many words above, I have been given far too much.  I am unworthy and unholy in oh so many ways.  But in the way that matters most, I am holy for I am forgiven.  I know a God who is far too beautiful for my mind to truly comprehend.  But I do strive to know Him yet more and more.  And I am known by a God who is far too beautiful to me.  It is a wonderous thing that I would be called a child of God.  And such I am.

Deepest peace and truest love.

Century Child

…and once again we come to Monday, the pauper of days.  But as I rolled on to work this morning, it was heartening to see the brilliant full moon shine bright o’erhead, before she finally decided to veil her face.  Even then, the light broke through the clouds effortlessly, beautifully.  And so my week begins, with a note of wonder, song of grace.

And briefly…much enjoyed my reading this morning.  I would like to share a few of my favourite verses – firstly from Exodus:

Now it came about in the course of those many days that the king of Egypt died.
And the sons of Israel sighed because of the bondage, and they cried out;
and their cry for help because of their bondage rose up to God.
So God heard their groaning;
and God remembered His covenant with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.
God saw the sons of Israel,
and God took notice of them.

-Exodus 2:23-25

Is that not beautiful?  I cannot quite state that anything I’m going through is anywhere near the level of bondage that the children of Israel were in.  But it is oh so encouraging to my heart to see how God responds to the sighs and cries of His people.  God hears, God remembers, God sees, God takes notice.  We may think that God is ignoring us, not promptly answering our pleas and our cries.  I mean – seriously, the children of Israel are in bondage for near on four hundred years!!  That is not an insignificant length of time – why does God not act sooner?  I know not.  And sometimes whatever we are suffering through will seem like it is never ending…yet…we need not let our hearts be troubled.  Because God does remember His promises to us and He surely does see our plight and hear our cries.  And God will surely take notice and stretch out His mighty hand on our behalf.  Not in our time, perhaps.  But God’s time is sweeter still.  Let us remember that and let our hearts’ cries never cease to be raised to the God who hears.

And secondly from the magnificent book of John…

Now before the Feast of the Passover, Jesus knowing that His hour had come that He would depart out of this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world,
He loved them to the end.

-John 13:1

…and is that not truly beautiful as well?  Jesus knew His time was short.  He knew His time was at hand.  And He whose love is incomprehensible did truly love His disciples deeply.  And did His love for them wane as His hour of trial approached?  Oh most certainly not – Jesus loved His disciples to the end.  He loved them infinitely.  He loved them completely and perfectly, as only the Son of God can.  And to manifest His love to them…he got up from the dinner table and washed His followers’ dirty feet.  A shocking display of love, acting not as their Teacher and Lord(which He was!), but as their Servant.  And so this Servant who was about to suffer greatly did kneel before His disciples and love them greatly.  I can imagine them being so shocked that silence fell around the table.  I don’t know that for certain, but I imagine it to be so.  And then when He comes to Peter…Peter responds as only Peter can – “Never shall You wash my feet!”  But when Jesus responds that Peter shall have no part of Him if He is not washed by Christ…then Peter again responds as only Peter can – “…then wash me completely, feet, head, hands all!”  Jesus gently reminds Him that he who has bathed need only wash his feet and truly, “…you are clean.”  What a joy to hear that from Jesus.  You are clean!  Oh joyous thought – we that are redeemed by the blood of Christ are truly clean.  Forever.  And we can read about this moment where Jesus acted so sacrificially for His followers…so also ought we to lay aside our pride and love one another.  If Jesus could serve His disciples in such a way…how could we not long to serve each our brothers and sisters daily, always.  What joy would fill our hearts to act as our Saviour??  What joy does fill our hearts to know our Lord!!

And one last verse to close…truly lovely words:

“In that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in Me, and I in you.
He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me;
and he who loves Me
will be loved by My Father,
and I will love Him
and will disclose Myself to him.”

-Jesus Christ, John 14:20-21

We of whose those words are true…Jesus reveals Himself to us in pure love.  What awe and wonder!  We are loved by God the Father.  We are loved by God the Son.  We abide in Christ and Christ abides in us.  The Holy Spirit of God dwells in us.  We are loved by God.  We truly know God as He reveals Himself to us.  We are truly known by God.  We are loved.  This, my friends, is why we can be full of grace and full of peace.  Forever and always.

And Further On Sound the Horns of the Embittered Knights

Briefly!  I was very happy I finally got proper reading time this morning.  Obviously it is not a good idea to take paper-based materials on a canoeing trip – thus I didn’t have my Bible with me the whole weekend.  And then yesterday I somehow slept through my alarm so got no reading time.  Finally, finally – today I was able to make a nice cup of coffee and read for at least a few minutes!

And while I shall not now retell all my readings, thought I’d share one line that struck me as I was reading further about the life of Joseph – “Now Joseph was thirty years old when he stood before Pharoah, king of Egypt.”  The reason this struck me is patently obvious, I think – for just as Joseph was thirty years old then, so I am thirty years old now.  So it is natural for me to compare myself to him and ponder and measure myself thus.  But for a moment – think about Joseph.  Think about his life up to this point and the difficulties and pain he had suffered.  Sold to slavers by his own brothers at a young age.  Working as a slave to an Egyptian official and even making something of himself there…when it all unraveled again and he was falsely accused and imprisoned.  Years in prison.  Then when he thought he had made a connection with a man who could get him out…that man forgot him.  For two years.  And so his life had been one of slavery and bondage for years…and years…and years.  But – had he used that time to grow resentful and bitter and wrathful?  Had he let his spirit shrivel away as he abandoned hope in the God whose man he was?  No.  He continued to trust in God.  His faith surely wavered and flickered at times.  But his spirit was further forged through the fires of affliction and his eyes fixed themselves upon the God who knew his name.  For when he was asked from where his talent for dream-speaking came, he claimed no portion of the credit.  He humbly acknowledged the God who made all things.  And so at the age of thirty, he stood before the king of Egypt, prepared for a greater work, humble yet confident in the power of His God.

And this is where I can very briefly glance at my own life – knowing not what lies before me, I can confidently assert that God has continued to work in me these past thirty years of my life, shaping and molding my spirit, refining my soul through fire.  I know not what lies ahead, no.  But God grant me the grace to stand prepared to do His work, whatever that may be.  I may not stand before kings, but may my life be fit for such.  These past years of my life haven’t necessarily been full of bondage and harsh suffering, but they haven’t all been easy either.  And that is not a bad thing – for through such fires are humility and holiness forged.  Why do I stand in readiness now?  Because of the God whose man I am.  Why do I stand in confidence now?  Because of the God who knows my name.

Tinted Blue

So this morning as I drove in, I resolved I was going to try and write an actual poem this morning.  Alas, my resolve wavered and quickly fell apart once I actually sat down at my desk here.  I sadly got distracted by various emails and other things and now I can only confess my muse has been shattered in a thousand pieces and there is no chance of any creative output…at least for the now.  Honestly – it’s probably for the best as I was contemplating writing a somewhat sentimental, romantic piece…which who wants to read anyway, am I right?

So I suppose I shall just write a few more words expressing my joy at what I read this morning in my morning reading time.  Beautiful words in various places, but in my continued progression through Genesis, was encouraged anew at reading on Abraham’s life and his obedience to God.  Our Lord God came to him when he was 99 and promised that he and Sarah would have a son.  She was 90 and he was 99…and they were promised a son!  Abraham laughs, Sarah laughs, there is laughter all around.  (Even when Sarah denies it and talks back to God, “I didn’t laugh.”  Our Lord: “Oh yes you did.”  Is it bad that I laughed?)  Anyways!  God renewed his covenant with Abraham and then made circumcision the sign of this covenant and commands Abraham in this.  And what does Abraham do?  He that very day obeyed God and had himself and his whole house circumcised.  He may have laughed at the thought that he would have a son but he did not hesitate in obeying God in this awkward and somewhat painful rite.  I hope I would as eagerly and quickly obey God in my own life.  Oh may we all be so desirous to follow our Lord in all that He asks us to do!

And I could go on and talk about God sharing his plans for Sodom with Abraham and I could share how Abraham is beginning to fulfill his role as mediator as he pleads for the cities that they be spared and I could say a few words about Lot and how despite the fact that he was a righteous man whose heart was grieved at the sins of the land was nevertheless weak, sinful and fearful and subsequently mightily suffered the consequences of his sins.  But no – for now, I just want to think on the life of Abraham and that when he was confronted with the Lord God Almighty standing before him, he obeyed God.

May we all – as we with unveiled faces contemplate the glories of the Lord and meditate on the wonders of His grace to us – relish the chances we have this day to obey our God in all things.  Despite the fact that oft our hearts are hot and frantic within us, may we be at peace this day as we consider the love of Christ Jesus our Lord.

Waiting

My latest read:

10.  The Great Hunt by Robert Jordan.  Finished reading this last night on the porch of EQ, sun shining bright.  Now already on to the third book in series!  But…this one was great fun and once again I forgot how many dramatic events happened in this book!  Rand’s first real duel with swords(goodbye Turak), Egwene’s experience with the Seanchan(horrifyingly scary), Ingtar’s salvation(“Shinowa and the Light!”  …this moment is still one of the most tear-inducing sequences in entire series – no one is so far gone that they cannot yet be redeemed…), the Heroes of the Horn, the Portal Stones, Lanfear’s grand entrance…alright, I’ll stop now since most of you have no idea what any of this means!!  Just know it was a brilliantly written book that almost never stopped for breath.  Love it.  Also sad since this one is the last book we get with relatively “normal” Rand.  Now his descent into madness begins…

And since I’m writing, might as well also share my encouragement at my latest readings.  Reading Psalm 77 & 78 and then further in Genesis this morning.  And I do so love Asaph’s psalms because he is so real and honest about his emotions and how he is feeling.  He didn’t always feel the presence of God – just as we don’t always – and sometimes he wondered if the goodness of God was even real.  “Will the Lord reject forever?  And will He never be favourable again?  Has His lovingkindness ceased forever?”  And on and on in this vein he goes.  And then he pulls himself together and resolves to remember the deeds of the Lord and ponder all the things that God has done in his life…and confidently declares that the way of the Lord is indeed holy.  Might we remember this in our dark moments when it seems as if God is not working at all.  Meditate on what God has done in your life in days past…and hold on to the truths of who God is.  God is faithful and loving and holy and good and sovereign and magnificent and glorious and He is God.  And in Psalm 78 we get the counter-example of the nation of Israel…even though they did eat the bread of angels and saw with their own eyes the glories of God, they still committed the most serious sin of unbelief.  They did not believe what God had said despite seeing His works with their own eyes.  Might we tremble as we think on the fact we have so often failed to believe in God in our own life.  Despite the fact that He loved us.  He loves us!  How can we yet fail and fall so many times.  But we do and although it is a terrible thing that we would doubt God…our Lord is loving and faithful to forgive us our sins, because He is our Father who loves us dearly.

And one further reminder of how it is good to be still and wait on God even though we oft don’t believe He is working.  Abram received the promise of God that He would have a son from his own seed.  And this is a grand promise and one that Abram did indeed believe – “He believed God and it was credited to him as righteousness.”  But later on…did Abram doubt?  I think he did.  Some time later, he still had no child.  And he must have thought – “Well, I suppose God wants me to take matters into my own hands?  Maybe I’m supposed to do something different.  I’m oh so tired of waiting.” Alright, I’m sure he didn’t put it exactly like that…but when his wife Sarai suggested that he have a child with the maid Hagar instead…Abram agreed.  What a terrible idea, right??  “Well, I can’t have a child with my wife…so I suppose I will have one with my wife’s maid instead.  That’s surely what God has in mind.”  And it is definitely a bad idea and there is much fallout from it yet God uses it as He uses all things.

But don’t we so often do the same thing?  We are tired of waiting for God.  And we think that if we just took matters into our own hands…then things would work out the way they were supposed to.  Right?  We rationalize an ill-founded decision because we think it will get us what we want.  We stop believing in God.  We start believing in ourselves.  I will forge my own destiny and I will obtain my heart’s desires.  Oh us of too little faith in God and too great of faith in ourselves. 

Think and ponder and meditate on the glorious nature of God and on what He has done in your life.  Be thankful and rejoice in the works of the Lord in you.  And although waiting is irksome and tiring at times, it is good to be still and wait on our Lord.  Rest in the knowledge of the most perfect love of Christ.  Forever and always.