Oh how glorious a time it was this morning at church, surrounded by hundreds who lifted up their voices and sang to our God on high. We sang his praises and lifted up our hands to the one who saves us and offers us eternal life with him. And indeed as our final words rang out ascribing glory to our Lord, I couldn’t help but imagine what it would be one day when surrounded not by hundreds but by thousands (and many myriads of thousands more) when we sing with faces blazing in the light that is shining from the face of God. One day this will be true in the kind of sense that our slow and creeping minds cannot now quite comprehend. One day for true our lives will flicker to the rhythm of a new song, indeed a song that will never end. Our voices will sing holy holy holy to the one who was and the one who is and the one who is to come. And we will see the Lamb of God with our own eyes and our new scribed bodies quiver with the bliss that is only right for those who are called true sons. Oh how glorious a day that will be and now I meditate on that moment when the kingdom is finally fully here in a way it can never be right now. For sure this kingdom is partially now but still not yet culminated is the final resurrection and the moment when the angels cry glory as they see the glory that has been won. But think now on these thoughts that fill my mind and I muse in uplifted wonder that even now in this quiet moment on my quiet couch I write in the presence of very God. His Spirit fills me even as he has sealed me and peace floods my soul. Now my voice whispers glory glory oh glorify your name. And in a small still voice printed on these pages I see written that he has and that he will. And so forever do I cherish the indisputable fact that I now reside in shocking sonship of the very God to whom my soul longs to forever cling. Ever confident in the blood that Jesus shed for me I can now only cry glory glory glory glory to my King.
Tag: god
Symphonic
This morning I sit on my couch for a few minutes and feel oh so thankful for all the little blessings that continually attend me. It is easy to feel confident in my own accomplishments and gathered goods and say that I have done this, that I have sowed and reaped and gathered and all that I possess is because I have done this or that. But really? What do I have that has not been given to me? What do I possess that I can claim is mine and mine alone? Am I so bold and sovereign to claim that I alone am the master of all that I survey? This is where the introspective soul looks inward and can potentially quail in terror and think that if I have no sovereignty in my own life, what then do I have and of what worth am I? Am I a worm, am I an ephemeral note upon the breeze, a dusting of moss upon the rock facing seaside? And then I look outward and see that I nakedly cling to this rock of a planet that rotates swift and moves in ordered dance throughout the seemingly void space of universal tapestry of being and wonder at my pride that I should think I am of any worth whatsoever when I possess the most miniscule fraction of energetic ability to do anything whatsoever in the momentary life that I lay claim to as birthright. So to combine the two – the inward look at self and worth or lack thereof and the outward look into the immensity of the chaotic void – and what do we come up with but sheer existential terror. It is not entirely a bad thing to be reminded of one’s place in the cosmos, but one must also understand the totality of being and realize there has been revelation of truth if we would have the eyes to see. This revelation echoes in the masterpiece of the heavens and in the conscience that whispers within and even now we hear music on the wind as we stand on the cliff at the edge of the sea and breathe deep of the rich oxygen that has been bestowed upon us by a being too great to comprehend by my aching broken mind. Because yes, this is where I stop looking in and stop looking out and simply stand still and wait to see the face of God. All I have seen in this life is a testimony to the existence of a being beyond myself that has in itself all sovereignty and inherent glory that I cannot claim as mine. I rejoice in that self-evident truth and sigh in satisfaction knowing that I can rest in God. There is nothing I claim as mine own even though my own pride weeps at the thought. Instead I look to the one who made me and acknowledge His claims to all including me. What can I claim? I can claim an inheritance that comes from calling this God my Father – and that is a mystery too wonderful to truly grasp. For how does this come about – acknowledging the eternal being that is God – that I should be his son? It is simple and it is fact and I do not have time to get into all the specifics, but I can be called a son because there was another, one who stepped out of the corridors of the eternal and clothed himself with the raiment of humanity and in a time-bound moment bled real blood and died a real death that I might receive eternal life and be clothed myself with the garments of immortality and receive an inheritance far too rich to be hoped or dreamed of – a life forever in communion with this God who my soul so longs for. And so as the chaotic void was brought to order with the introduction of a word, so the whirling existential dread of my life is brought to peace with the incarnation of this Word, God became flesh – this Jesus Christ who is my forever song. Amen, hallelujah, may my joy never cease. And it never will, but only heighten – for someday soon, someday soon, I shall in my own perfected flesh with my own perfected eyes look upon the risen Christ and quiver at the eternity that before me lies.
Interstitial
One little book review squeezed in this balmy February afternoon.
12. the practice of the presence of God by Brother Lawrence. This book was most beneficial and good for my soul. I think it is a book I shall return to from time to time. It is a very tiny book (in both square footage and page count!) but I deliberately slowed my reading pace and stretched this out over a week and a half or so, reading a few pages each night. It is a book that some may scoff at or call simple and that others may gaze warily at suspecting it contains content that is overly mystical and potentially dangerous. I read this and took this book as what I think it was intended to be – a call to be more constantly in communion with our God as we recognize the reality of his presence and the wonder of his love for his children that he has called to himself. Oh how encouraging it is to meditate on the word and work of God! This book is a simple one, written in language that seems old-fashioned and (dare I say) childish at times. Yet the truth contained therein is that which angels marvel at. I’m grateful to read the words and convictions of one monk who spent most of his life seeking to be close to God at all times even in (especially in!) the mundane and everyday activities that at times sap us so. This book encouraged me and convicted me both. I ought spend more time in prayer and constant conversation with my God. I ought form habits that pull me towards such divine contemplation and an intimate realized knowledge that God is real and that He is with me. Do we really believe in God? Do we really believe he is one who is listening and longing to hear our prayers? If so, then why are we not doing more to cultivate and delight in the greatest relationship we will ever have – that of an adopted son and daughter of the living God with this very being himself. I’m grateful to this book for reminding me of such, and of being an aid to renew and spur my hunger and thirst for righteousness – this righteousness only fully realized in saving faith and relationship with Jesus Christ my Lord. Yes at times I read the words of this book and thought – of course it is easy for Brother Lawrence to do this, he’s in a monastery! Excuses excuses. May I more fully and deeply plunge into the deep and true river that is a glorious eternal knowledge and relationship with my God. This book points me towards thinking more of God and less of self, and for that I am grateful. May we ever delight in the most beautiful reality that there could be – eternal peace with God.
Trembling
How precious it is to be a child of God. Sometimes I feel like I know it, sometimes the feeling flees so far away, that I wouldn’t be surprised if it was on the other side of the Atlantic. Most thankfully my status as a child of God does not depend on my feelings. If it did, I would be in trouble most deep and would spend all my time wailing for paradise that has been lost. But praise be to God – I am a child of God by His work and His alone! I could go on and on about this work – what poetic majesty swells within me as I think of the person of Jesus Christ who lived and died and rose again – historical reality that makes the earth tremble in its wake. Jesus is my Savior who draws me to Himself when all else seems to dim and turn to dross. I need not fear for what’s been lost in this world for all I can say is that I have been found. A sheep I am that’s carried home. A coin I am that’s held aloft in joy. A son I am that’s been offered a place at the table once again. Oh one day how I long to break bread and wine with my Savior Lord. And at this table as I look at my fellow brothers and sisters and commiserate of our common failures (Adam, David, Peter – we have things to discuss) but better yet speak with delight of our common salvation, I can only hold back a sob as I consider the fact that this someday moment is not so far as it might be thought. Soon sometimes seems so far removed from this present me. Yet the day when all shall be changed and I shall be changed and I shall gaze upon my Lord’s face in bliss and joy? This day is drawing nearer. How precious it is to meditate on Jesus.
Light and Life
I have many thoughts swirling around my mind. Whether they are particularly good or inspired ones is a question for another day. But for the now, I’m grateful for a cosy home and a warm hoodie and a couch that is far more comfortable than it has any right to be. Many other things I can name in this space that deserve the praise, but shall I clutter this place with words too feeble to do justice? I feel now is not the time.
I will say how thankful I am for quiet 6am moments where the house is still and quiet and my mind waking up slowly yet unfilled by a day’s worth of worries thrills to the idea of reading a few pages in the word of God and delighting in truths that have been passed on to us for millennia and in caretaking of these truths I partake in worship as I ponder the wonders of the Holy God who has called me and calls me into closer communion with Himself day by day. And while at times it is tempting to spend time reminiscing and chronicling the past, my best thoughts in this morning hour are ones that look towards heaven. The past is blessed by God and wondrous enough. But what does future bring? Whispers of eternity fill my dreams and I tremble. Does your heart ache to know the joy that comes with seeing our God face to face? Mine does. I dwell on the promises of God and the peace that fills my heart through salvation that been granted me through the dazzling word and work of Jesus Christ my Lord. My eyes lift to heaven and my mind thinks of the eternal future that even now stretches before my slow and feeble feet. My flesh and my heart do fail. How good it is to be near God.
Starlight
This morning the dark lingers. The depth of winter grasps onto the light and keeps it away and while I would appreciate the first rays of sunlight to creep over the horizon, I know I must wait a few more minutes yet. Even so, I now appreciate the fact that I am beginning this week as the year winds to an end and I reflect over all that has been and muse over that which is and shall be. I wish to meditate upon truth in the lamplight that now spills over my shoulder. I have a book upon my lap which contains more of reality than my mind can ever grasp and I gasp to consider that the stars that blaze out overhead cannot outshine the enormity of the pillars of creation that have given me such a sure and steady confidence in the very God who holds my hand. Oh yes I am quite guilty of mixing a few metaphors as I attempt to muster my thoughts – consider that a testimony to the awe that fills my soul as I drink deep the love of God who fills all my dry and dusty places. For yes, this book that I mentioned earlier is the very Word of God – crafted by his hand and set afore us in the wisdom that is beyond our ken. But we may ask – is not this book merely written by common men? This is when our intellectual yearnings take over and we burn to find out more. I would wager – as indeed I have – that this book can hold up to any questions we can throw against it. Just taste and see. There is a divine reason that this book has held up throughout these many years and has placed such a burning in the hearts of those touched by the very Spirit of God. My heart longs for beauty. But beauty unmoored from reality is really no beauty at all, wouldn’t you say? And realizing that, I look up to the stars that sing the songs of heaven and I consider the truths that have enlivened my very soul. From where does my soul come? Or rather – from whom? Why do I long for that which my eyes cannot yet see? I yearn to meet the God greater than that which can be imagined by my little mind. But I do know him as he has for eternity known that he would be with me. What wonders, wonders fill my mind! See the light step over the horizon. I sip my mug of coffee and feel the pleasure that comes with that perfect first cup. Someday a more perfect pleasure will blaze in my soul as I sit at the feet of Jesus Christ and hear his words to me. For now though – I will echo the call of eternity for it does ring in even these everyday mundane realities. There is a song of joy that I would join and so I must away!
Little Children
How lovely it is to know and be known by God. This morning I rest in Him, knowing that I am safe and secure in His care, knowing that my future is bright beyond all imagining. And I do not count my future bright because I tabulate up the money or prestige that may one day be mine, nor because I consider all the love that comes my way from those whom I love deeply. Nay, I count my future bright because I look forward with sure hope that I shall one day be sitting in the presence of my God and for all eternity be living in perfect harmony with Him. This eternal life is my hope and my song all the day long. And I do not say it is my hope because of the length of life – if eternity can be defined in length – and the absence of death. That would not be enough. I could not count eternal life my supreme good if this life did not consist in communion with God. Of course, absence of fellowship with God could not in actuality be called life at all. It would be something far worse.
So I circle back and say that this eternal life to which I pin all my hopes and dreams – in realistic fashion since they are based on that real life which was pinned to that real tree oh so many years ago – is a life that fills my heart with song since I know this life will be me sitting at the feet of my Lord in bliss and endless joy. The Spirit within me sings this song and it knows this song since it was the song that it is has written. I know this song because I know the love that my Father has bestowed upon me calling me his very child! Oh such I am! And I know my Father because I know His Son who sweetly calls me every day into deeper fuller communion with Himself in the most perfect symphony of love and grace and sovereign compassion. I know this symphony that I now shakingly lift my voice to sing a minor part because I know Jesus Christ. He is my Shepherd that calls my name and bids me walk along this eternal path towards my home that has been prepared for me. Jesus is the bread that I take and eat in awestruck love knowing what it means that He died for me. Jesus Jesus is my song for now and for all eternity.
Mornings I Look Up
the blank piece of paper calls out to be filled
and though the pen drops slowly from my hand
in trembling terror that it cannot be
good enough
it is ok
for look up to the one who is
who draws me ever more into
sweeter communion with himself
the God who knows my name
who in himself is sufficient
for all purposes my feeble mind can summon up
not to claim that i have any part in defining God
it would be with fear that i approach
and in reverent posture fall and kneel
for now at last my empty heart is filled
this morning i walk with God in prayer
Interlude
Hello, my friends! A quick few thoughts on latest read…
64. Why God Makes Sense in a World that Doesn’t by Gavin Ortlund. Many thoughts from this book that are still rolling around in my brain. This book is not written to “prove God” or construct a fool-proof argument for Christianity and I think it was important that the author stated that at the outset. Rather, the author uses an abductive approach to show the reasonableness of holding to theism, ending up by holding forth the attractiveness and sheer loveliness of the Christian faith as centered in the person of Christ. This is a book that spirals from the grand and cosmic to the intensely personal. The mind, heart and conscience are engaged from various perspectives before the author moves into a concise and winsome defense for historic Christianity. And no, the author is not presenting an airtight case that will convince the antagonistic skeptic. Rather, the author seeks to show that holding to theism (and more specifically Christianity) is not inherently unreasonable. Instead, there is a beauty, grandeur and pathos to believing in a God who is also a person, in a person who also walked this earth and died to reconcile us to Himself. There are parts of this book that hurt my brain and I daresay I probably need to read it again at some point to more fully understand all of Ortlund’s points. There are many books that the author referenced and quoted that I now very much want to read (this is a good thing!). And the plethora of movie and book references may be a bad thing for some, but I kind of loved them, as they very much spoke to the current moment in which we now live. This is a book that is a product of its time, speaking to the current ethos in which we live. But more than that, this book is an appeal to the humanity in all of us, asking if this humanity as such is simply a cold by-product of undirected physical processes or if in fact that which resonates within us points to a common story that has an Author. Yes, any book that talks about the origins of the universe, math, music, poetry, conscience and moral objectivity will have my attention. But more than any of that? This book calls us to consider the message of the gospel – and to ask the question of last things and what lingers beyond the veil. At the end, the author calls us to make a choice. This is a book that speaks to the seeker, the one who is seeking to grasp the infinite if in fact the infinite can be grasped. Is it possible?
There are many perspectives and views the author grapples with and at times it seems the author cannot quite do justice to the plethora of philosophical and metaphysical views that swirl in the minds of men. Yet he does try, and I appreciate that he does not shy away from the hard questions and that he attempts to honestly dialogue with those whom he disagrees. This is a beautiful primer to understanding how theism fits in and against the current trendy topics du jour, and if anything, it convinced me that most of modern popular thought is spending most of its time in the shallow end, unaware of the vast complexity of philosophy throughout the ages. This opens my eyes a bit, and reminds me how good it is to continue to read old books and old authors, to seek to avoid the biases that are confirmed when we only read authors who write in our own age. Of course I love the constant references and quoting of Tolkien and Lewis, and of course I love the firm devotion to Christ that the author cannot avoid from letting seep through. Yes, the author firmly holds to the task of speaking to the various philosophical schools of thought on many things, but he cannot help but let his wonder and love at the message of Christianity shine forth.
Trembling
And so shall I post once more?? Thought it was best that I let the last two song-heavy updates stand on their own. I also should probably zoom off soon, since I’ve spent quite long enough here at Starbucks! But I still have a little coffee in my cup, so I shall write a little more. Pardon the spaciness of my thoughts…I’m in an intriguingly odd mood lately. Odd as in I’ve spent time in several different countries in the last few days…and this time has left me abundantly encouraged and oh so thankful and I really do not think I can quite put my thoughts to page. But…I shall try, at least a little bit. This morning, me and Julie went to Dish Society for breakfast…because I was craving their food partially, but really so Julie and I could catch up and I could tell her a least a bit of my last week in Scotland. Despite all my many tangents, I think she got a good overview of my adventures! Can I capture that here? Maybe.
Anyways. Today is my first full day back in America for over a week. Yesterday afternoon, my plane touched down in Houston and I was once again in my home country. And how was I feeling? Bittersweet. For truly, it is good to be back here and be able to call Dad and family again on phone and see all my Houston friends again(Reliant K and Switchfoot concert tonight with Peter, et al!). But after such a beautiful week with my friends in Scotland…I must admit to a bit of sadness after leaving them (again!).
Oh this is a nightmare – I have no idea how to properly chronicle this past week…and I may admit defeat and try again tomorrow or Monday. I think I shall just thank the Lord my God for giving me this holiday and blessing it in such a way that I had prayed for but wasn’t quite sure would happen. Being with my dear friends again(Chris, Jo, Joel, Laura, John, Ruth, Jackie, Graham, Tineke, Mark, Rosemary…and more!!) was amazing and I realized I am blessed far beyond I deserve with such good and precious friends. Even after being gone three years, I can still talk and laugh and deeply connect with them. But more than just the fun times with friends(and it was indeed fun!!), I relished the chance to commune with my God. I set aside particular times to get alone with my Father God and these times were blessed be Him, of this I testify! As I walked the cliff side path south of Stonehaven on Monday afternoon and felt the sea spray on my face and looked out and watched the sea meet the sky in a beautiful embrace of grey and blue and white and saw the grass dance in the cold sweet breezes and as I sat upon a rock on the seashore and gazed upon the horizon and thought upon the fact that God has called me His true son and placed His hand upon me in perfect love and as I closed my eyes and prayed to Him, I felt at peace. There are so many things in our lives that we feel ill equipped to handle and so many futures we desire were our own and so many trials and tribulations we wish were not our own! And so to realise that God knows us, heart and soul and eyes brimming with tears and passions…this is gloriously precious. And to remember that God loves us His children with an unending and all encompassing love…this is beautifully divine. And so as I sit here in Starbucks, recalling this past week, how God blessed me with such a time of communion with my God…I rejoice. I sing. My meditations this day are full of the glories of the Lord. My heart this day is a-tremble with the thoughts of my Father. My eyes this day are bright with the passions of my God. Let us pour out our souls before the Lord our God, all ye nations -let us rejoice and sing to Him this day He has made! Amen and amen.
Something Weird 