Tiptoe

Hello friends! I sit here at EQ (I really should start calling it Caffvino someday soon, but it is hard to bring myself to. One day) and am enjoying just a little time to rest and perhaps write before I walk back home and begin some dinner prep. I am a bit saddened that although it is most certainly November – and late November at that! – somehow it is still fairly hot and humid and not at all reminiscent of autumn. Where is my crisp cold weather? Where is the blustery wind and the grey skies that make my heart sing and eyes brighten as I consider that winter is nigh? Alas it seems I shall have to wait a little longer. It does seem as if perhaps this next week – Thanksgiving week! – we may get some decent weather. I do hope.

Now that I’ve gotten the weather talk out of my system, what else shall I discuss? I feel as if I ought use this time to write about something of note but as often happens, when I have the time I now feel antsy and wonder if I ought go for a walk instead. The tragedy!! Well, I shall sit here a bit longer and decide if I can summon up the muse. (No of course not. That’s not how muses work)

So topic switch? I don’t think it would be amiss if I simply state how grateful I am to God for all He has done in my life. Too often do I let my thoughts and emotions run amok as I think on all the things that could or might go wrong (or even the things that have!) and let myself spiral into the depths of despair. Have you ever felt such? I think so for I feel it is a pretty universal experience but of course there are some who would say they have no idea what I’m talking about. Some may say it is useful to imagine things differently than they really are (or is this also a concept my gentle reader is unfamiliar with?) but rather than dwell in unreality and imagination (not that I am demeaning a healthy and vibrant imagination, by no means!), I would urge something different. Instead of spending our time in the hazy mists of the unreal to comfort ourselves as we sit in the midst of the grimy everyday, instead ought we consider what is truly Real?

And that is the trick, is it not? How might we encounter the truths of reality even in the midst of the fogs through which we grope? Can we even say there is such a thing as absolute truth? Or is all contingent upon one’s own space in this matrix of the universe? These are philosophical questions which I freely admit I do not quite have the mental acuity to fully comprehend. Yet at the end of the day I do and will say that I believe there are truths that exist that are real and might be known. I might even say that these truths have been revealed to us who have been granted the grace to lift our eyes and with new eyes see. Hence why I love to use my (mid-tier) writing skills to dance through the swirls of the imagination to connect with the concrete substance of the true. This spark of creativity burns, small but bright. I freely confess I fail far too often to write anything worthy. Oh how common it is that I scribble some words upon the page which are both sparse of beauty and bare of truth. Yet sometimes, I do sense a hand upon my shoulder and as I consider the stars above and the One who knows them all by name, I write with an inner fire that well speaks to the faith that I so cling to. It is naught of me and naught of anything I have done. Instead, if there is a pattern of the beautiful in this weaving I have done, it must speak to a deeper and richer reality than these eyes now see. I now close my eyes and dream.

Reclamation

Hello friends! It’s a Sunday afternoon and I am here sitting on the porch of EQ wondering what I shall write. Is it 2022? Well perhaps not. But I do sit here now and reflect how fascinating it is looking back through the years and realizing how many hours I’ve spent in various places (like this coffeeshop!) and how I’ve changed and grown as my God has continued to work mightily in me. Sometimes I forget such and can only see the parts of me that seem to sit stagnant and still in the light of the fall. Yet it is good to sit back and reflect and look at my life as a whole and glorify my God as I realize that I am not the same man I was even a year ago! Praise be to God for his glorious grace and the many mercies he’s poured out upon me, his undeserving child! Sometimes I look at my outward circumstances and meditate on how they may or may not have changed. Same job, check. Same (close enough) living situation. Same attire (Pascal’s t-shirt, yup!) But then I look to my right and see Dani and my heart smiles and my eyes fill. Some things are not quite the same after all.

It is all too easy to let our hearts linger over those things that bring us anxiety and pain. And we cannot deny that there is sadness and suffering in this world and even in my heart, a reality that I am all too familiar with. But does the existence of such mean there is not also beauty, that perfection is necessarily impossible in this existence in which we find our minds moving? I would say not, though there are philosophical frameworks which would assert such. Instead, I would point out that the presence of an ill thing does not imply the impossibility of a good. Instead, the very fact that we recognize something as wrong means that in our frame of knowledge we seem to believe in the possibility of something being right. But what is true? That is a good question, one which it would do one good to ponder. I believe truth is not entirely relative, that though we may be shaped and formed by the environment and the historical moment in which we now exist, still yet there are solid realities that are firmer beneath our feet than we sometimes dare to think. This world is not all shadow and dust, though there is plenty of both. Instead, I look for the glimmer of that true light that I catch at the corner of my eye. I long to rest my hand upon an oaken pillar that testifies to roots deeper than these eyes can see. What is truth? That is a good question. As for me, I believe in the existence of a God who has revealed himself to us in a written word that has been passed down these many centuries. Some would call me foolish, some would call me fraud. I simply rest in that settled conviction that within me rests the spirit of God who has in actuality changed my heart and called me to be known and loved. I do believe that not that many years ago (as we count time) God himself walked upon this earth and spoke true words and then died so that I might be no longer blind but see. My eyes do not see as far as I would like at times. But no longer do I grope forward through the clammy fog of sneering unbelief. I bow my knees and look to heaven and with tears on my face I sing praises to my God who knows my name.

Ulysses

For this past week I have been working to find the time and space to write a few words on the concert I was at last week, yet I couldn’t summon up the time and appropriate energy to do it justice. I fear I still will not be able to, yet I don’t want to wait any longer lest my memory begin to dim! I haven’t been to as many concerts this year as in years past, which I suppose makes sense as my time and appetite for such have diminished as I refocus my energies elsewhere. Sometimes this saddens me a bit, but then I consider all the concerts I’ve been to that really are not all that worth it. Well, this past Sunday? I went to a show that reminded me why I love live music and why going to the right show is 1000% worth it. Josh Garrels, hello.

I have been listening to songs by Josh Garrels for close to ten or eleven years now, I believe? Shoutout to Daniel from back in the Bethel days, for introducing me to whom I now believe is one of the greatest and most encouraging artists of our generation. Even back in 2014-2015, I remember listening to some of his songs and feeling the tears fill my eyes as I consider what it means to be a son of God and to be welcome at His table. Being loved and welcomed by God is a theme that is fairly pounded home in many of his songs but not in a way that feels forced or unwarranted by the stories woven throughout Josh Garrels’ discography. Even these past few years, though not much new songs of his have been released, the songs he has released (Anchor of my Soul & Watchman in particular!) have been received by me with much joy as they’ve aided in my ever seeking to know Christ more and press into this abundant life that we have been welcomed into. So! That all to say I was excited to see him in concert, but also not really sure what to expect. I went alone and figured it would be encouraging (partly why Dani said I needed to go, once I told her I knew it would be an encouraging night for me!). So go I did. Met a few people before the show and had some good conversation. Then I found a seat on the front row of the balcony – yes I now much appreciate a concert while sitting down, what have I become – and settled in to enjoy the show.

After a fun opening act, Josh Garrels came to the stage and quickly I discovered this wasn’t simply to be a show. Rather, it felt almost more like a church service at times. Singing and preaching abounded! The songs were poignant and beautiful and brought emotions close to surface as I considered the love that is mine in knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. He started with “At the Table” and proceeded to play most of my favourite songs. Amazing set list. He played of course the classics – Ulysses, Farther Along, etc – but also some of my newer favourites like Steadfast and Watchman!

But honestly? As much as I loved the songs and rediscovered how amazing a good live show can be, I was almost more encouraged and my heart made full by listening to Josh bare his heart and soul between songs. At times it almost seemed as if Josh Garrels spoke as a prophet, exhorting us as Christians and believers in Christ to press in to what it means to be living in the here and now in the love of God, fully understanding and aware of the height and depths and breadth of the love of God which is ours through Christ Jesus our Lord! Too often do we live as Christians in a way which almost seems to indicate that we believe all the lies this secular and faithless world attempt to persuade us are the truth. Too often do we live almost as if we don’t believe God works in this world at all. Do we actually believe that God still yet works mighty acts in this world in which we live? Do we actually believe that God came and walked upon this earth and died for us and rose again for our victory in Him, inaugurating a kingdom through his blood, a kingdom that shall know no end? Do we live in this present age understanding the power of the Spirit who lives within us, the Comforter promised and sent and resting upon our brow as holy oil anointing us as blessed ones? Do we live now walking forth each day in the triumphant and faith-filled joy that comes from being oh so aware that we are children of God? Josh Garrels talked much on such things, and on more besides and I dare say I can’t do his words justice now. But oh how wonderful it was to hear this humble man of God sing his heart out and then talk of the mercies and wonders of our Lord and point to God in whom is all our hope and joy.

I’m grateful for such a man whom God has blessed and given such creative talent. Still more? I’m grateful to hear the testimony of a man who knows that he’s washed and saved by the blood of Christ and ever dependent on Him every day for this life he lives. I’m grateful to be a part of the body of Christ and know that there are thousands of brothers and sisters who praise the God in whom I trust and that we all someday will be worshipping together before the throne. And even I walk and sing, recognizing that each day upon this earth is a day my God has given me. I thank God for the days he gives me now to serve his name and be faithful and wait for the upward call. I thank my Father for the knowledge that he has through His Spirit given me, that in my Jesus is my all in all. I long to see my Saviour’s face.

Oh Canada!

A few thoughts on a few books this lovely November evening.

70. The Imitation of Christ by Thomas à Kempis. Oh what do I say about this one! Parts of this book thrilled my soul and enlivened my heart to beat heavenward as I considered the love of Christ and all that is mine in Him. Yet still there were parts of this book that irked me. All in all, I am certainly glad I read this one. It is a classic devotional work for a reason and I’ve had it on my shelf unfinished for a good while now. So finally I took it down and began reading, a few pages every morning during my devotions time. I think this served it well, as an aid and stimulus to my meditating on the things of Christ and what it means to be a child of God. There were so many encouraging lines and passages and moments where my heart leaped as I pressed in on what it is to know Christ more. Particularly Book 2 was fantastic, by far the stand-out section of this book. What I loved the most about this book was the focus it demands we place on our honor and devotion to God and what it means to sacrifice all to Him, placing Him before us and humbling ourselves before Him. It’s a well needed counter to the ethos of the day, in which we tend to place ourselves before all else and consider our needs of greater importance. This book simply breathes humility and it does my heart good to meditate on what it means to be truly humble before God and man. I did also mention parts of this book that annoyed me, and I suppose that comes with the territory of reading the work of a 15th-century monastic. There are doctrinal quibbles I have (such as with most of Book 4 covering Communion & the Eucharist, where I have some profound disagreements with the Roman understanding of the aforesaid sacrament) as well as some annoyances at the stylistic tendences in Book 3 (particularly as regards the “dialogue” between the Learner and the Beloved (Christ). I tend to tread carefully when I see words put in the mouth of Christ (even if I’m not always consistent on such), and it bothered me a bit to see so much of that here). There are other Roman doctrines which are seen here and there that I found myself shaking my head at, but I will not go any further to detail them here. Still yet? This book was encouraging to me and did indeed stimulate my heart to consider more what it means to devote one to the Lord and to follow Him all of our days. I would urge discernment if one reads it, understanding that not every word in this book may be necessarily true (as is a helpful reminder when reading any book by human author). But I’m grateful to read a book that puts us in our proper place and gives God the glory and honour that is his due! I’m grateful to read a book that encourages us in humility and Christian service. I’m grateful to read a book that makes me think more about Christ and who He is and what He has done for me.

71. Rilla of Ingleside by L.M. Montgomery. A profoundly emotional book. One that fairly gushes with the pathos that still throbbed in the author’s heart only a bare few years after the Great War had ended, this book makes it seem as the author is still processing such, using this book to heal and understand. There is much in this book that to us now may seem slightly jingoistic or overly sentimental in nature, yet I’d argue it gives us a peek into the past, a window into what the people of the day thought about this great war that still shocks us to this day with the horrors it contained. All in all, I loved reading this one. That may surprise you, as it is a sad work. Yet? This book deals with these sad themes of separation and death and loss with the gravity that is appropriate yet also shows how the characters deal with such and move forwards while still remembering what lay behind. Montgomery does not take this subject and deal tritely with it and attempt to make light of this war. If anything she almost goes too far the other way in attempting to describe this war as the pivot point of human existence! But can she be blamed? I think not. I won’t talk more about this book other than to say it’s well worth the read, one of the best books in the Anne series (not the best, can’t say that about a book where Anne isn’t front and center!). Rilla is no Anne, but she’s still pretty great.

Beyond the Point

At times it is tempting to slip into the same habits that you fit into so well yesterday and exclaim as you look in the mirror – it’s a new me! When it is of course true that in fact you are wearing something that is quite well used and perhaps even adorned with a new stain or two. Such it is when we get a bit too comfortable with patterns in our life that are not quite advantageous for the life that we so eagerly proclaim we wish for. But this is normal. Most of us have our blind spots and most of us have those hidden reefs that cause peril when we are not carefully navigating by those precious charts we should be more closely paying attention to. Is that not why we ought live with others who can see us as we are and point out those moments when we slip and stumble and laughing through our tears exclaim that we’re all right and say no perhaps not. Perhaps you’re not alright. And that’s alright. Or it’s not, but yet it is, for we walk not alone. Instead we walk through these valleys together looking to the west towards setting sun and though eagerly we look for the next way stop, we still sigh a bit knowing it’s not home.

And so if you have muddled through these mixed metaphors and deciphered anything of use therein, then I am grateful. But really I just want to speak plainly now and state how good it is that we need not live this life in solitary fashion. Of course it’s fashionable to proclaim oneself as self sufficient and capable and independent in all things. But alone we tend to wither and finally crack under the pressure of the burdens of this life. We need each other for we were not designed to live a life in which there was no communion with any other soul. We need a helper or a friend. We need someone with whom we can steadily share eye contact and it not be weird. We need someone to lift us up from life’s muddles when we veer a bit off track. And yet.

This need for a person beyond our own self existence points to a deeper truth that within us speaks to a void that cries out to be filled. What can fill this seemingly infinite hollow that nothing on this earth can fill? There goes that classic question which of course you know the answer to. If nothing on this earth can satisfy that longing in our soul it must mean we need look elsewhere beyond the setting sun. Even your closest companion or partner is not sufficient to satisfy that existential longing, is that not true? Eternity beckons. My heart aches with the knowledge that I was made for more than this finite life. All the history and poetry and philosophy I read testify in a thousand voices that in myself I’m missing something and there is nothing in the created order that can make me whole. Yet there is a voice calling, calling me to come. I know that voice. Do you hear it too?

And Books Were Opened

he picked up the book and flipped to the page
he knew most well
it had been held open at that spot many times
and this time no less did upon reading those lines
he had long ago memorized
his eyes began to fill
and as his eyes caressed those words
his thoughts flew to higher planes
and he thought of what it would be to those words one day hear
sometimes he doubted sometimes he feared
that he never would
yet he knew those for lies and said begone!
and recited the promises and verse
and clung to the truth he knew
that what he sought was not due to him for his worth
rather it was what another had done for him so long ago
as he spoke and bled and died upon this very earth
he knew it was because of what was done that day
in a real and literal fashion marked down in ink and blood
that he had a home built for him
a home built in a country far away yet now even his
so pilgrim boy he walked and walked rejoicing in the already
and looking forward for the not yet but soon to come
for the kingdom he sought was already blossoming within
and the sealed sign was his
as he abided in that life that had been so dearly bought
one with God and one with brothers and sisters alongside
and so that pilgrim trail he walked not alone
but ever onward he trod and trod
rejoicing in the joys of someday home
when he would look upon the face of God in Jesus Christ
and no longer doubt or fear or raise lament
instead he’d hear those words for which he’d
dreamed and wept and prayed and been kept secure
well done my good and faithful servant
and join would his praise with all the saints
and the choruses will be sung most fervent
and all will be well with his soul
no longer does his heart need bear the sword
for holy holy holy is the Lord
and we have met him at his table
come Lord Jesus come
let us rise and feast with you

Bedrock

Devotion to truth and beauty is admirable. But there is a potential for this devotion to sour as one notes a misperception that leads to a devotion improperly placed. In other words, something is called true that is not true. Or something is called beautiful that is not beautiful? Nonsense you may cry. Who are you to define truth or beauty? These are nebulous concepts that cannot truly be nailed down. I agree that I am not infallible and it is very possible – even probable – that my comments stand on sand at times. Yet I am not putting myself forward as the arbiter of beauty or my own poetry held high as the level of truth. No, all I am stating is the statement that there is a standard of truth and beauty and so perhaps this does point to one who may judge such. Is this too far? We may quibble on interpretations and paradigms of course. But is it wrong to posit that there may just possibly be realities that are solid in and of themselves and are far beyond our ability to alter? This is all I say, at this time. Later on, perhaps over a coffee or something more bitterly delicious, I will discuss with you my thoughts on the realities that to me are more truly beautiful than any others I can dare to imagine. And yes of course, these realities are based in the God whom I call my own, the one who is more beautifully true than my mind can truly grasp. It is difficult for the finite to grasp the eternal, yet I try. And so in what I call feeble faithfulness upheld by the infinite united to my soul I lay my head down in sweet peace that I am known by the one of whom nothing greater can be known to be.

Modus operandi

Often I forget how lovely my early morning reading and meditation times can be. Too often do I struggle to wake up early enough – truly, it is not always easy waking up hours before sunrise. And oh too often do I allow myself once awake to get distracted by silly things – oh phone, begone from me! Though I am crafted in the image of the eternal, still true is it that I am a product of this age and thus susceptible to the little thoughts and fears and cravings that are manifested in this current generation. Hence how important it is to be deliberate in setting guardrails and being proactive in setting aside some quiet time and space to sit and breathe and pray and read that I might closer draw to the God who made all things. And as I say all this in that elevated morning manner that comes from being fresh of mind and slightly caffeinated it might be easy for one to view me as the pretentious, haughtily pious type. Far be it from me to claim any particular uniqueness of thought or practice. Rather, I opened this tab and started typing this morning with the air of gratitude and wonder. Far, far too often do I spend my early morning times distracting myself with lesser things or allowing my thoughts to wander to places less profitable. So when there is a notable exception – such as today – I wish to chronicle. I actually woke up moderately on time. My coffee brewed, I sat down in my little corner chair and spread my books out and made sure my phones were across the room. And then I opened the book (the best book first, as always) and began to read and pray. And oh how my soul was blessed as I read many words and meditated upon many truths and cried out mini-prayers to my God as I was struck anew by the fact that I am an adopted son and am blessed with life eternal. Many minutes did I spend this morning reading and being refreshed by the truths of God. My heart feels enlivened now – reflecting a reality that I alas do not always feel. I feel freshened and ready to face a hectic and most likely stressful work day. I wish I always felt this way at the beginning of a day, but we all know far too well that our emotional state at the beginning of a day is not always a bellwether for that which is to come. So instead, I sit quietly right now and praise my God for blessing me with such sweet intimacies with him and I call on him to bless my day as I walk forward in hope and faith. And I ask that I might be faithful this day in all things.

One and Five

This lovely damp grey Saturday, let’s post a few thoughts on my latest reads shall we??

52. Anne of Avonlea by L.M. Montgomery. A lovely book. My reading of Anne continues with the second book in the series and while I’ll bluntly state that it’s not quite as good as the first book, this is still a beautiful read. I could find little spots here and there to poke at, but there are also some truly lovely moments and lines. I love reading books such as this, ones that are simple and sweet and make me smile with delight at the beauty contained therein. I will note that this is the book where Montgomery apparently falls in love with the use of the ellipsis and I laughed to see how often she utilizes such. Also, I believe that in this book her powers of description soar even higher than the first book. I could read this book for the descriptions of nature alone. One of my favourite chapters was the one where Anne and her friends wander the countryside and have a beautiful day together conversing and laughing and tramping through the woods – a chapter only Montgomery could write with such simple elegance and joy.

53. Bearing Witness – What the Church Can Learn from Early Abolitionists by Daniel Lee Hill. A powerful and insightful work. This is a book I was not sure how to approach at first, wondering how Hill’s engagement with early Christian abolitionists would serve to craft a call to action for the church today – are we as the Christian church to attempt to live out a social gospel in denigration of the work of Christ for us or ought we spend our time in a Christian bunker priding ourselves on our own fidelity and adherence to the orthodox faith? Hill masterfully addresses both these ditches while providing a pattern and ethos for how the church might truly bear witness to the gospel of Jesus Christ in this modern world in which we live. I much appreciate the author’s dedication to centering the work of Christ and refusing to downplay the true gospel while at the same time pleading with the church to understand what it means to bear the burdens of both our fellow Christian and our fellow man as we live in this world in this present age, yes aware of its fallenness and looking forward in hope to the coming redemption and renewal of this world when Christ returns, but also keeping our eyes open and seeking to understand the mission of Christ on this world so that we might model such and in the moments that pop up around us, improvise on the themes of mercy and grace and suffering that we see running throughout all of Scripture and indeed, those themes that our very soul resonates with as we are sealed and enlivened by the Spirit of God.

I fear this somewhat rambling first paragraph may not do the force of Hill’s argument justice. I have not even begun to express my appreciation for how the author works through the narrative of slavery and the abolitionary movement in the early history of the States. There is so much history and so many stories that could be told, but I feel the author does a very fair job of attempting to lay the groundwork for the story tellers he is about to unveil. I love that Hill recognizes that the three fiery and faithful Christians he highlights in this book – David Ruggles, Maria W. Stewart, & William Still – are Christian voices that can still speak to us today, as they are indeed a part of the living and enduring church of Christ. So in retrieving their voices from the past, Hill lets us be part of the audience that hears these brothers and sisters speak and thus we can seek to understand what wisdom might they have that we can then ponder in our hearts and be blessed by such. I loved understanding the stories of these three historic figures – nay, not just historic figures – actual real people and brothers and sisters in Christ! – and hearing how they navigated the fraught waters of early 19th-century America, a place where it was not at all easy or safe to be a black person, enslaved or free. Hill seeks to show that even though it may not have been easy or safe, these three still sought to work in and cultivate the spaces they inhabited and to faithfully go forth to bear witness to the gospel of Christ in working and suffering alongside their fellow man. The historical facts of their lives were fascinating but even more so, the force and light of their testimony was humbling. Are we living such lives of witness in the places in which we live and move and have our being, understanding that we all live under the gracious and merciful hand of God?

And that brings us to the author’s conclusion, where he seeks to extract the nuggets of wisdom from the testimonies and stories we’ve been listening to and ask how the church might respond. Will the church’s response to our own modern horrors and nightmares look identical to how Ruggles, Stewart and Still acted? Perhaps not, for society is structured differently and we may not have the same mediums of communication or fellowship as were present in early 19th-century America. Still yet. Do we see in their actions a framework for how the church might keep its eyes open to the opportunities are around us? Even as we center our lives around the gospel of Christ and remember our call to proclaim such boldly, does not the presence of the church in this world and its calling to suffer as Christ has suffered indicate an allotted portion of stepping alongside our fellow and seeking to bear one another’s burdens and mourning with those who mourn as we recognize the patterns of decay even in the structures of our everyday? And we ought be so washed and enlivened in the Spirit that our thoughts ever more often resonate with the commands of Christ to love one another and so our patterns of behavior will then meet the moments that we encounter so that we truly exhibit the love of Christ.

I am writing too many words, but I am grateful for this book. It is written at a fairly high academic level and though I enjoy such, it may not be for all. Still, I found it profitable. Some may not like that this book is not more “practical” or does not put forth any sort of concrete action plan. But I would argue that is not this author’s aim. Instead the author is attempting to set forth a paradigm for the church that will of necessity lead to a multiplicity of responses. There is not and cannot be a cookie-cutter approach to living Christ-like lives in this fallen world in which we live. Also in this book there are moments of dry humor that I greatly appreciated, but more than that, I very much was struck by the awe and reverence the author has for our God and for His Word and for the holy calling that is upon all of us to follow Christ. While we are yet on this world, we groan as we recognize that it is not our home and that while we are absent from our Lord, we are incomplete. We now inhabit the temporal but we look for the eternal, for that city that will one day be our home where we shall see our Lord face to face. We long for the day when our Lord will return and make all things new and wipe away every tear. And so in the now, we with hope look for what is to come and bear witness to the God who is our hope. Might we cry out to God that he might give us eyes to see and the grace to live in such a way that this witness is one that to the world makes it clear that God has not abandoned this world and that we are not alone.

Dialogue Part Two

Consider my friend, consider the truths upon which my feet are planted. I smiled and said to her that’s a pretty bold opening line. And she tilted her head and looked into my eyes and said I know but it’s because I care for you. And not in a melodramatic sappy way or the way in which you might write poetry and ask me to be your valentine. I care for your eternal soul and so of course I’m going to be dramatic yet no less than true. I come to tell you about the truth in which I believe and have my whole life bound up with because I want you to know this same truth too. But ok I answered I know you’re a Christian and I understand that you have these beliefs in the God who you said saved your soul. But even so it’s just a religion for all that and though I’m glad for you what does this have to do with me? When I’m a person who is just as – or nearly – as good as you and I think deserve a good life too. See that’s the problem she whispered now, her eyes glittering in predestined passion. What do we deserve when all is said and done? What do we deserve when our lives go down with setting sun and smile turns to frown as our bodies morph to dust and ash and our souls cry aloud? Why don’t say hell or any such ridiculous fundamental scare tactic I rolled my eyes as I sounded this rather impressive rhetorical line upon her. You land before me upon the shore she says yes you preempt my lines. All I’m trying to say is that I believe in a God divine a God who made us and who when all is said and done owns us for it is for him for who our lives were devised. And how have we answered him at the end of all things? We spit in his face and say our lives are ours and we shall surely keep them. And he says of course and grants us our way and so we toss the chain more firmly over our own shoulders and we self satisfied proceed on as slaves ending up where we’ve said we most want to be. We end up alone and on our own and apart from God forever. For we have declared we want no part of our Maker. And we end up exactly where we deserve – parted from God forever. Is that what you want? Well maybe I reply a bit abashed at the fervor of her answer. But is this what Christianity is? A bully God bullying me to want to be with Him like some psycho girlfriend? Why would I want to be with a sadistic all powerful being that can’t even condescend to just understand where I’m coming from and treat with me on my level? Wow ok. She almost laughed but instead eyes wide replied. There’s some really profound questions there and I begin to think God is working in you even now drawing you closer to him. How do I answer? Well perhaps consider if there is a God – what do you know about him? Instead of assuming him a monster, what if you think of Him as the pinnacle of infinity and the bearer of attributes that proclaim him more perfect and beautiful than your mind can dare to grasp? And what if he knows that’s what’s best for you is to be in relationship with this God and to be his child? Perhaps he knows there is nothing better than to know and be known by God. And so of course he asks you to come. And perhaps consider that in his desire to call us all to him he knows that we cannot in our weakness and frailty consider the immensity of God and so instead he does condescend to us and does treat us on our level and in fact God steps down and makes himself as one of us to show his love? And in this love he asks that you simply come to him and acknowledge who he is and acknowledge who you are and in this knowledge of yourself and reaching knowledge of who he is you bow before his divine majesty and say i’m not enough. You are. For who is this one who condescends? You know who I’m about to say. Yes I know I answer finally, my cheeks flushed a bit as my world starts to shake between the still settling eternal aftershocks. You’re going to say Jesus. Are you not? And she nods and bites her lip and says yes. Jesus. He is the Son of God and God Himself and is the one who came to condescend and offer to you his hand. But first he hung on a cross and was pierced and bled and died and then yes as you’ve heard – he rose again! The Lord of glory walked this earth as man and did it so that you might know God true. And if you bow and kneel and say Lord forgive me, I’m a sinner and I believe in you then life life everlasting is yours and not life apart but life with God for true. Come my friend. Come to know the truth. For what is truth? Jesus Christ the Lord God made flesh the one who died for you.