It is good to be near God. A few minutes past six and it is still dark outside yet I know the dawn approaches. I wish I had more time to write all the thoughts of my heart yet perhaps it is best they stay with me? It is not always the wisest course to spin out one’s innermost cries for all the world to hear! Sometimes, perhaps. But not always. This is partly why I love writing in poetry and veiled prose. The tears of my heart drip onto the page yet the scribblings legible only to myself. And now I do let my words wander. At times I wonder what the turning of the day shall bring. Yet I know even as I anticipate the line of storm clouds approaching from yonder horizon that what drives them onwards is the fresh wind of autumn. How my heart sings. Soon my feet shall tramp these city streets and my heels shall echo the song of fall. The wind will be cold around my neck and the air crisp and clear in stunned realization that summer has bowed prettily and given up the ghost at last. It is time, my friends. It is past time. A leaf or two descends from the trees above me. I anticipate now. The branches shall be bare again and whisper sentimental musings in my ear. I cannot express the longings in my heart or the fears that sometimes rise. Yet I know that I belong to one who knows my heart better than I myself. My heart aches for longing fulfilled. The pale grey of the sky brightens.
Tag: fall
The Chorus of the Heavens and the Sea
I hesitate to write too many words now, as much as I would like to. But this is the kind of afternoon where I crave to end it by reading my book on this couch, cosy and warm inside as the cold wind dances down the pavement outside. And see, already I start at the end rather than at the beginning as is proper. Clearly I am in more of a hazy dream-lit mood than in the correct frame of mind for writing coherent thoughts. But pardon me if I spill but a few words out upon the page nevertheless.
I really should be logging a few of my latest reads (as I am now three books behind! knocked out the rest of Narnia this past week), but I can do that later, I suppose. Right now, I am just at peace in the Lord, and I am ever so grateful. It’s been a very busy last few weeks and I have been tired and frazzled, my energy seeping away ever more noticeably as I’ve progressed through these last weeks. But now – even though I’m congested and have a cold! – I finally am at a point where I can rest. And I am ever so grateful to my God for that. This day I was able to worship at church – which of course was a refreshment to my soul. And then following…a little bit of shopping at the store and a little bit of lunch (a great leftover lunch! 2 slices of pizza, a piece of cornbread and a bowl of salad!).
Now this past hour, I decided I couldn’t sit inside any longer. The chill air called my name. So out for a walk I went. Glorious mid-40s temperature. Weather in which it is appropriate for me to wear both my turtleneck and wool coat! And so my feet trod the streets around my neighborhood – up to 11th, over to Studemont, stopped for a quick coffee at Red, then back down to White Oak and over to home. But I fear I bore you. Because obviously the route of my walk signifies nothing to no one but myself!
(interlude for the laundry – I had to step away for a moment to get my clothes in the one operational dryer we have…as all afternoon, I keep missing my chance. Not again!!)
Now where was I? Ah, describing the afternoon and my walk. Well, there is not much to say. I have been finding moments of pure joy lately as I’ve walked around my neighborhood. Why is that? Well, to put it in words is something I fear I can’t do, as I attempt to write random snippets of poetry and they are all turning out to be uniformly terrible. I have an odd soul, I’m afraid. So what brings joy to me is something that I can’t describe to you without the strong possibility of eye rolls and other such reactions. I adore the grey sky on a cold winter day. The kind of grey sky that sits as a blanket over (or underneath!?) the heavens and promises so much more than it reveals. The sky is not uniformly grey, no of course not. That would be quite boring and indeed depressing. But this is the kind of sky that admits no blue whatsoever. It is a well-cloaked sky indeed. But in various spots, there are hints of that radiance of light. The sky pulses with vibrant gradations of colour and hums with glories unimaginable. They are not all seen. But the light is hinted at. Strongly. And so I walk underneath the beautiful blanket of cloud that holds the heavens at bay. The bare-branched trees wave slightly in the breezes. They are bare now, but not always. More glories not seen. But coming soon. Leaves flutter down the street in strong alignment with the wind that courses along in such reckless fashion. And the pavement continues to move backwards underneath my feet. The sky of curious grey, bare branches of wistful trees, and the winds of winter that dance just so. My heart throbs in fierce affection for these things. See now? I told you I was strange. But it is rather nice to be walking underneath the heavens and look to the skies and look to the earth and see such beauty. It is quite pleasing to feel the cool touch of winter upon my cheeks and pull my coat a little closer. It is in moments like these that my mind is agape that I should feel in concert with the heavens and with the earth and with the seas and with the stars – in worship of the One who made us all. A leaf slowly flutters to the grass, for a moment hanging weightlessly in the wind. The sky darkens with the coming of the night. The star song approaches. It is moments like these that my soul sings.
Apple Pie
It’s a Friday, at long last! And though I didn’t write yesterday, let me it be known that on October 11th in the year of our Lord 2018…it finally actually felt like fall for the first time all year. Temperatures in the 60s when I walked outside? I was very – most pleasantly – surprised! And today is the same. Fall is here, y’all. FINALLY. Last night, I went to EQ to get some reading time in…and I found out that everyone else had apparently also realised fall had arrived since the porch was full of far too many people and I had trouble finding a spot! Thankfully I did. Had a nice chat with Lea on phone…then eventually Fran and Haley and John showed up and we had good times hanging out in the cool autumnal air. Now, I need to start work momentarily, but as I’m far behind on my book logging…(sorry, I just keep forgetting!), I’ll jot down my last few reads:
31. Ender’s Shadow by Orson Scott Card. Yup, I am fully in OSC re-read mode. No apologies. This book is an interesting parallel companion novel to Ender’s Game. It is definitely interesting to see most of the events from Ender’s Game from a slightly different angle! Probably not quite as good as Ender’s game, but it has some poignant moments that make it totally worth it. Following Bean – a character that definitely grows on you – this was a book that I always forget how much I love. The ending especially is incredibly emotional and a line from the end of this book is currently the front-runner for the title of my next mix CD. So there you go.
32. Shadow of the Hegemon by Orson Scott Card. The second book in the Shadow series – or the Bean series, as I like to think of it. Honestly, I usually think of Ender’s Shadow as a a book on its own – since it’s set in space! – and the following 3 books as their own trilogy. Because these next books are all set on Earth and deal mostly with the geopolitics of the world following the conclusion of the Formic Wars. Fascinating stuff. I like it because…well, it’s science fiction and set several hundred years in future…but it’s also dealing with recognizable nations and cultures. So you have weary and decrepit America, aggressive Russia, expansionist India, arrogant China…and soon(but not quite in this book), the Caliphate stretching across Africa through the Middle East (and Europe I guess, with Turkey…). I love international relations and so it’s incredibly fascinating seeing Card’s simulated future! Complete with genius children leading them to war! Anyway, this book mainly deals with most of the children getting captured and Bean having to figure out how to rescue them. Finally we get to see much more of Petra, which I love because she’s an amazingly awesome character. And of course Peter Wiggin begins to emerge onto the scene. This is a fantastic book…in my humble opinion.
33. Shadow of the Giant by Orson Scott Card. So…er…yes, this is the fourth book of the series, not the third. Why did I read this one next? Well I was in Chicago this past weekend with John and Daniel. And obviously I brought a travel book – Shadow of the Hegemon. Picked up Shadow of the Giant in a used bookstore in Chicago, because it was the one book I didn’t own and figured I’d read it when I got home. I underestimated my reading speed however, and finished my travel book a few days into trip…so obviously had to read this book since I didn’t bring a backup book. Tragedy. So yes, I’m reading this series out of order. Oops? Anyway! This book is a fitting end to this series…I won’t spoiler it, but I will say I didn’t quite remember how it ended but once I finished it…definitely satisfied. One thing interesting about this book (I suppose I could go into depth, but I will refrain) is you definitely even more so get a feel for Orson Scott’s Card worldview. His Mormon beliefs very obviously inform the themes of this book(and looking back on it, the whole series) – and most obviously, the thought that having children and a family is our main purpose on this earth. By marrying a wife and having children, you “become a part of the human race” and find true meaning. Some of this echoes with my soul – i.e., I do think God designs us with a longing in our hearts for finding a partner and having children (a legacy – as cold and hard as that word sounds). But is that the true meaning of life? I would say not. And I would say it is easy to idolize family above all else, which Card gets dangerously close to. Still – it is rare to see books these days praise marriage and families at all, so I will enjoy these aspects and yet remain wary of seeing perfect fulfillment and happiness in this earthly life. Anyway!! I do go on. This book was fantastic, and once again, I found myself emotional as I finished it.
34. Rubicon by Tom Holland. I sadly do not have time to fully describe this book. A marvelous historical narrative of the last hundred years or so (really the last fifty in greater detail) of the Roman Republic. I know many of the names and bare facts of the Republic, but reading this gave me so much more knowledge of the actual people that lived during this time!! Villainous Sulla and greedy Crassus and proud Pompey and arrogant Caesar and noble Cato and fearful Cicero and enigmatic Caesar Augustus(nee Octavian)…so many tragic moments and so much bloodshed and oh so much fierce politicking and oh the depths of depravity of humanity how we never change. I simply loved this book. The fall of the Republic is something that was bemoaned even while it was happening yet…man is evil and cruel and so the events fell out as could only be expected – in total war, chaos, fear and shell-shocked resignation. There is so much in this book I could talk about, but I much enjoyed reading this history and discovering more about the Republic that was Rome.
Oh So Woke
Right – I was going to post a nice long meandering entry this morning at Starbucks. Sadly, when I first got here there was no convenient table near an outlet and my battery was low, thus I was restricted to writing in my notebook for a time instead. Now I don’t have long as I must be off homewards so I can have lunch and get on with the rest of my day! So this entry will have to wait…maybe tomorrow. I wanted to write on some of my concert experiences and some of my recent thoughts on suffering for Christ and really just let my fingers dance across the keyboard for a time. Alas, maybe later.
But I shall at least share my joy at this wonderful morning. Clearly I have been in Houston too long and am much corrupted by that fact…but as it was barely 80 degrees this morning, I couldn’t help but roll down the window and let my arm hang outside the car as I drove…fall is finally (basically, kinda) here and it is glorious!! And as I drove down Briar Forest Drive…I was reminded again of the goodness of the Lord. This road I drove down was adorned with many overhanging boughs and hedges of flowers and kindred things and for a time, I could feel as if I was driving down an old country road in the Scottish countryside. For a time. So my God this morning has granted me a blessed experience of the lovely world that He has made…and I remembered anew all that my God has done for me. Maybe someday I will live somewhere where I am able to more often see the beauties of the world that God has made…but for now, I shall be grateful for these quiet glimpses of forest grandeur.
Peace and love, always.
Leaves of Autumn
Happy Friday, one and all!! I really have negligible time to post this morning, but it is Friday and I am drinking my peppermint mocha, so my Pavlovian reaction is to write a quick entry here!! September has finally begun, and it shall be a month to remember, I do believe! I am excited for this month, to see what God will do!! Now I must fly, but just wanted to encourage you all to enjoy this day – oh so many good things do we have to be thankful for. Let’s remember that, shall we?
Peace and love.
