On the Porch

It is at times like this that I wish my pen wrote with richer ink. It is a sad thing that so often does my mind take flight and dream on the sublime in the moments when the cares of life swoop in and remind me of other more meaningful tasks on which I really ought spend my time. Of course yes, it would be lovely to write. But shouldn’t you start dinner prep? The carrots and potatoes will not chop themselves, oh no. And what is that you say? You have a poem running through your mind that you’d like to put down to page? Well, I hope you have a decent enough memory, for now it’s time to take the car to the shop and take care of that nagging issue you’ve neglected for far too long. Why is it that the time which then presents itself finally for a creative purpose is then taken up by conversations with loved ones? Of course they are far more important than the words you wish to enshrine in this moment for eternity. Aren’t they? One can acknowledge the truths of which I’ve said above, but still the heart weeps for the lost moments. But are they lost? The moments of life, of chopping vegetables on the cutting board, of driving a creaking vehicle through the quiet autumnal beauty of the late afternoon, of laughing as your sister tells you of the absurdity of her day – are not all these the precious sands upon the shores that your feet walk day to day as you breathe deep this salt air and look to the brilliant blue of heaven? I would argue that to hunker down and bunker oneself in that longed for cottage on the English coast in order to write your magnum opus would in fact be a cutting off of self and denying those little moments that thrill the soul even if in the moment they seem just the same old same old ordinary ticks on the calendar that seems to never get any less full. A foundation has been laid and now the bricks are being laid on quietly but surely. These bricks are laid with care and each one lovingly put in its proper place. Without such bricks, what is the setting but a cold marble portico upon which a banquet of plastic dreams is cunningly set forth? No I shall not abandon this simple life. I will keep on laying brick after humble brick.

Still yet. Can we not find rich beauty in these small mundane moments? I would argue so, even now as I wait for my love to walk back through this door and cheer me with her voice this quiet November night.

Grafted

I walk down the lamplit path and wonder what lies at its end. For all I know, the promises that I have clung to will in fact crumble to dust in the light that a closer perspective sheds. We shall see shall we not. But I refuse to give in to fear. I know that my boots are faded and starting to fall apart now. I know that my hair is a bit more faded and sparser than when this path my feet began to walk. Yet there is still a wonder that burns in my heart and there is still a faint taste of cinnamon on my tongue that reminds me of when I sipped the wine back at the last waystation. I hold fast to these signs that point me back to what I have believed in and forward to what lies at journey’s end. I know that the hand that picked me out of the mire that I played in so many years ago is still yet upon me, though at times the pressure seems faint and the shadows play havoc with my sight. These are the times I hum to myself songs of promise and in the darkness those hallowed lines recite. For even now in the darkness I look to my feet and see a light. I am thankful that I do not need to trust in mine own wit or valor for the aid by which I hasten on. Instead I trust in another. And this other has proven to be a trusty companion time and time again. What more can I say now? I walk forward, step by slow step my feet fall heavily upon this cobbled path. My progress is measured more slowly now, yet when I read my old notebooks I’m reminded of how much my voice has become more true. It’s a wonder, divine miracle really. I lift my voice once more in song. And as I begin to sing my favourite, I hear the voices of others join in soon enough. Thank God I am not alone on this pilgrim way. Let’s hurry on now, my brothers and my sisters. Let’s continue to faithful be. See this path does not go on forever, though so often it seems as if that may be the case. There is an ending, a slow descent when the cobbles turn to sand and the path turns down to the river that runs so merrily. I cannot promise the crossing will be entirely pleasant. It is not always. Yet look and see! On the other side, see the mountain that rises in poignant counter-harmony. I do not see it yet with these eyes but I know it’s there from what I’ve read in these manuscripts that I hold so dear. I do so long to see it but not for the grandeur of its created frame. Rather I hope to see the one walking down its slopes to meet me, the one who found me when I was alone and crying, the one who grabbed my hand and pulled me up to walk this pilgrim way. This is what I long for, to hear his voice gently call me in the way shepherds call their sheep. I will answer as I answer every day now. My Lord my Jesus be near to me. And forever and always will I be.

Unseen

It was a grey day. Grey seas sang under grey skies as grey birds soared and swooped low over the quayside. The quayside and its surroundings were also rather grey, nary a pop of colour to be found in the piles of gear and containers that lay here and there. Even the people that scurried about in the casual confidence that comes with being where they belonged could be said to wear faces set in shades of grey. Now to describe a face as grey seems to call for a bit of radical interpretation, but I believe you know what I mean. We have all seen those faces set in the default mode whereupon we decide we won’t smile and ask how’s their day. So yes. To sum up, an air of general grey-ness seemed to dominate the landscape at the shore and it would not be a stretch to say that this grey-ness seemed to stretch further than the eye could see. Ever a soul has strayed near an area where in the process of quick transit through it is felt that the colour is being leached from it. Now one may quibble with such and feel that we are getting dangerously close to invalid metaphysical applications. I will not argue and simply move on and resume my narrative and let the words stated previously sink into your soul and perhaps when you are a little older you will understand.

So to resume? It was a grey day. And so as John approached the dock and lifted his eyes to the heavens, the sigh that issued forth was an echo of the sadness within as he sought in vain for a glimmer of hope. The grey-ness of the day did not entirely escape him but it also did not startle him, for he was similar enough in mood at the moment to feel as if it was only fitting for the day to shroud itself in mourning in sympathetic communion with his yearning soul. John did not entirely abandon hope. Rather, he abandoned the idea that the hope would be consummated at any near point. It was promised and he believed the promise. But how long until hope’s longing would be fulfilled? He put his hand in his jacket pocket and felt again the letter that contained the words he had already memorized. The weight of the paper in his hand felt good, a reminder that his sanity had not entirely fled. But had it begun to fray? He thought not, but sometimes he wondered. And the doubt gnawed at him. John’s eyes narrowed. Begone, ye foul thoughts. I believe.

And so John’s firm steps took him up to the longest and greatest dock, the one at which the great ships moored. He walked up the steps and then begun the long trek down. At the end of the dock he expected to find the answer. Or if not the answer, at least a reminder of that for which his life was pointed towards. The chill wind picked up as he stepped further away from shore and his mind wandered towards the events of earlier that morning. He would not think further of what had happened to Alex. He would not. Her tears tore at him.

Without realizing, John had navigated down the length of the great dock and was even now nearing the end. He went past the inspection offices and broke again into the open air. The wind plucked at his jacket and he pulled his collar closer. His eyes were wet for more than the shrieking of the wind. The gulls hovered close by, wondering if he had a snack for them. Alas, not today my friends. I have in my pocket crumbs of something more valuable than bread. And then John’s eyes picked out the bench at the end of the dock. Upon it was a girl in a scarf of red. She was there.

a Mirror, Dimly

a maiden dares to veil her face, hidden now by shrouds of midnight blue silk and lace
and although the voluminous fabric hides her wide and darting eyes,
her sigh of wistfulness does not escape the notice of the one who soft approaches.
and though she steps delicately over the conduits of merchants mean and voracious, varied
and as she tiptoes past the worn and crumbling pillars of viaducts grand and tragic both,
her walk of longing unfulfilled is not hidden from the eyes which spy her now, he approaches.
and little pricks of starlight strewn in her silken hair do frame a face and form of beauty
yet her tears do hotly fall upon the earth, even as her hands softly brush the boughs of trees, eagerly.
and so as her face pales in no uncertain terms, he steps close and whispers, lo – he approaches.
Oh, my lady sweet and friend most dear, I have a jewel for thou to fix in thine raven hair. Yea, accept it, I pray!
But, oh, my lord – I must confess, I have already a jewel of mine own that in my hair I wear.
Yes, it is of luster dim and quickly fading and not by half as glorious as the one you bear.
But, oh, my lord – I must confess, it is precious to me. And I love it so, even so I dare, my lord.
My lady loved and friend most dear, that jewel of yours, does it not make thine heart sere, a leaf upon the wind.
I pray thee, take this rising sun, this gem of greatest price. To thee I offer, maiden fair. It is thine.
and so as he kneels before her upon the land, a blinding jewel of light and beauty in his hand,
he bows his head in quick anticipation and quivering does she take this jewel from him, exultation!
and oh she lifts the rich-wrought gem to her brow and though she cries, her song is one of beauty unrivaled.
oh the veil falls from her face, oh the light beams upon that maiden’s silk and lace
and although her eyes shimmer wetly with her tears, no longer do her eyes dart to and fro in fears,
her sigh of wistfulness now resolved, her heart swells in newest blissful song, eternity approaches.

Strange Seasons

Of courtship sweet, of tongues and eyes
and varied things
Of dancing feet, of sashes, skirts
and sundry things.
Of dancing eyes, of cups of coffee
that she brings.
What more can I say to her this night, I pray?
What more can be prayed by me this day, I say?
I say.
I say.
I pray.
I daresay.
Of life so sweet, of lips and songs
that she sings.
What more do I say?
I rejoice this night and laugh this day.
I dance upon the moor and I pray.
I pray
.

Neon Haze

Morning, all!! Quick update time. It’s a wonderfully sticky Monday morning here in Houston and as the day slowly lightens, thought I’d let you know what I’ve been up to lately as I sip on my peppermint mocha…

In actuality, this weekend was a nice and calm one, which I appreciated much. Friday night, went with Sammy to a random church’s young adult group meeting, where he was engaged to preach. He was much blessed by God and preached mightily on 2 Samuel 11 and the effects sin has on us. Powerful, convicting and encouraging – God be praised! Saturday, I got many random errands done, then went to Natalie and Andrew’s engagement/wedding party in the afternoon, where it was awesome to celebrate their soon marriage!! Sunday was church and afterwards, I went straight home and did various household chores before finally sitting down and having my dinner of leftover lasagna and a tomato salad. And…with my dinner, watched Return of the King. It’d been far too long. And even more fun was me and Maryanne watched it in sync, so we got to text each other random comments back and forth as we watched. Fun times…just wished we lived closer so we could watch in person!!! Alas. Oh! I also was much engaged in writing yesterday afternoon…got a powerful urge to put a story to paper, even though I am now doubting my literary powers and ability to do the themes of this story justice. I’m about 2200 words in and halfway done, but it is most rough so far and I am unsure whether it will get to where it needs to be. We shall see. I need to fly now, but shall leave you the opening…sorry to be such a tease. Love you all, my friends!!

A window stained, spattered with raindrops and grim in both general aura and appearance. Thunder rumbled in the far off distance and the harsh neon lights glared into the window, through the rain streaked plastic and into the cramped room. The room, mean in appearance and dim lit with a single lamp beside the bed, had a singularly utilitarian appearance. A bed, a sink and a mirror. Nothing more, nothing less. Nothing more was needed. Nothing less was used.

A Situation

The loss of oxygen was actually not that alarming, considering the circumstances. Multiple alarms warbled in imperfect harmony and far too many lights flashed persistently on the status boards. Irritated at her ship’s newfound desire to self-destruct, Juliet jerked her control cord to a new setting and hissed quietly in frustration. It was going to be close. Groaning in arrhythmic stutters, the chamber around Juliet’s pilot pod began to heat up. This was not entirely unexpected, but a bit too soon for comfort. Juliet glanced at the altitude indicator again and bit her lip. She needlessly tightened the strap on her rebreather and flipped the final switch. In one last protest, the structure surrounding her began to crumble into nothingness. Outside lay blackness and flame. Juliet leaned her head back and sighed. An explosion of soundless beauty. And then, the lights came on.

Closing her eyes, Juliet asked in barely concealed anger, “So how’d I do?”

“You died,” came the disembodied voice in her earbuds. “Again.”

“Really?” scoffed Juliet. “Well then, let’s run it one last time.” Her eyes flashed purple fire. “Again.”

Raise a Glass

Hello my friends, and happy Tuesday! I am in work early today, trying to get some things done before the office fills up. So right now it is quite quiet here and I thought I’d at least take the chance to write a few words here…

A tattered flag waves in the salt fragrant wind, all its faded colours on display,
And I sigh and ask myself if it is enough to merely stand strong and silent
Or shall I pour myself another cup of coffee and begin to have my say?
I think both options are fairly equal, although words serve just to draw out the pain
And at the end of all things, I confess my heart is burdened and oh so weary
Still I trust God and look to that far country as I stand amidst the pouring rain.

So Neatly Written

Hello, dear friends, and happy Friday! I sit at my desk at work, minutes before the clock ticks over to working time, but I couldn’t resist just saying hello. I’m drinking my peppermint mocha and pondering deep thoughts, like say…what shall I do this weekend? Actually, I’m a bit stunned – I’m going to be in Houston all weekend, a shocking development! Been traveling so much lately, it shall really be quite nice to be at home and get some proper rest. But for now, one more day of work, so no rest for me(yet!). Have a most blessed and wondrous day, my friends.

Fingers drumming on the tabletop,
coffee mugs littering the counter,
clamorous chatting fills the kitchen,
Something comforting, this home sweet home.

Closer Creeps the Night

Beth sighed as she sat in weary anticipation on the front stoop. Hearing a car approaching, she looked up warily, only to see a little black ’88 Volvo approaching. Not her ride. Actually, she had no idea who the driver was, and she knew most people in the neighborhood(naturally, as she’d lived in that same neighborhood for most of her 19 years). After the Volvo drove past, she put her head down again and watched the late autumn leaves tumble down the sidewalk in front of her. The leaves seemed to be dancing with gleeful abandon as they darted by, rejoicing in the winter-tinged air. Beth shivered. She didn’t share the sentiment. Pulling her orange coat closer around herself, she sighed once again. Where was Rich at? He had promised to pick her up at the crack of dawn, but as the early morning light spilled over the sleepy neighborhood sprawled out in front of her, Beth started to worry. She tended to do that a lot, particularly when things didn’t go according to plan. And in her life, things had a tendency to not go according to plan. Unfortunately. Beth rubbed her arms again. She was cold and irritated and still not quite awake. A squeal of tires skidding around the nearest corner shook Beth out of her brown study. In a flash, she hopped to her feet, grabbed her small knapsack and started walking towards the street. Rich’s lime green monstrosity jumped up next to her and she tugged on the door handle violently. Time to go save the world.