September 6th, 2010

Well, I was going to say it was a gorgeous day here…but then a hurricane sort of decided to visit my neighborhood. Ok so it’s not a hurricane, but the rain and wind are going crazy outside!! And I swear there was sunshine and blue skies not ten minutes ago. Oh Houston, how I will miss you…

And you may wonder what I’m doing writing a journal entry on a Monday morning? Well, it so happens to be Labour Day here!! And thus, I got to sleep in a bit(’til 9, woo!) and then make a nice pot of coffee and read to my heart’s content. And then I decided it was a perfect time for a wee update, no? And especially because I won’t get to do that many more updates in the States. Because LESS THAN A WEEK FROM NOW I will be in Scotland. Yeah. This Saturday, flying on a jet plane! First to Amsterdam(9 hour flight. Yay?), and then a short hop to Aberdeen. And the adventure will begin.

Hey, and now the rain’s gone! Fickle Houston weather.

Ahh, I still can’t believe I’m about to leave Houston, for what could be a long time! Of course, I could be right back here next year, but that is still undecided. *gets up to refill coffee mug* …and that’s better! Shout-out to Deanna for this delightful Hungarian mug! I do like sweet coffee mugs, and this one definitely qualifies!

Well now, what else can I update y’all on? I’m still trying to dance around the fact that I’m leaving soon…so I don’t have to think of leaving everyone behind. On Saturday, I passed the keys of my car on to Adam. Farewell, Aeryn! You served me well! Sort of. And yesterday, I spent much time packing, trying to figure out what I need to take to Scotland. I have to say, it is sort of annoying having to pack for Scotland because cold-weather clothes take up MUCH more room than warm-weather clothes. But I have no doubt I would sorely regret not packing all my sweaters…so I’m just not going to have much room for any books. Ah well. Only two suitcases for six months! Sound good?

And oh gosh, the rain is coming down hard again. Hurray? Oh wait, I lied. Now it is sunny again. Houston, stop being weather-schizo!

Oh also yesterday, had a lovely time at church…my last time there. For a while, at least. Saying goodbye to so many people…worshiping mightily in the LORD…loving my brothers and sisters…and being loved…I don’t think I can really describe my feelings except to say something I’ve said far too much…I am overwhelmed by the goodness of the LORD.


Dancing in the new born sun,
turning my head to the height
of the sky bannered in joy
striated in crimson delight.

Looking to the stars on high
turning my head to the ground
losing my hopes and my dreams
to the ecstasy of being found.

Kneeling in the rain-soaked field,
lifting my tear streaked face
to the one who loved me
to the one who loves me

And now I am

Rejoicing in the infinite
turning my head to glory
Dancing
Singing
Loving
Being loved.

Standing upon the ramparts
turning my head to the one
who makes me tremble anew
in purest
adoration.

And that’s enough emotional profusion for the day. I love y’all.

August 1st, 2010

Wanted to do a quick update, but my dinner awaits! Thus, I will be a terrible tease and give you a brief glimpse at something I’ve been working on this afternoon. This may not stay online long, just as long as it takes to eat dinner and for me to write up a proper update. We’ll see:

Flash.

Jas jerked upright again. The fire had not died down yet, sparks still sailing the wind in front of his eyes. The night was not that cold, the fire not hot enough.

Flash.

Jas laughed aloud, pounding his thigh in open admiration. “Aliya, I’d swear to the stars that your dancing was beautiful, if not that you’d know it for a lie. A lovely face does cover a multitude of missteps, if I may be so bold.” Eyes wide in indignation, Aliya smacked his shoulder and cried, “You may NOT! And besides,” mischief returning to her voice, “You wouldn’t want to go home with a broken arm to add to your broken feet, now would you?” Jas threw her a look of mock horror before breaking down in laughter once again. Aliya ran her fingers through her long dark hair before reaching to her neck to adjust her fine woolen scarf. The blue-streaked green of the scarf did set her eyes off so. Jas told her that and earned enough punch to the arm. “Do you want me too bruised to take your arm, then, my love?” She smiled slyly in return and pulled him to his feet. “No, my Jas, I think it’s time for me to bruise your feet, instead.” Jas groaned, but his feet were already moving in time with the fiddler’s tune. “Right then, my star-blessed lady. We dance tonight!”

Flash.

Jas blinked to see the fiercely burning flames lick towards him. The fire was still burning. That was good. He reached out his hands to warm them. They shook. He would never be warm again.

Flash.

The sun shone dazzlingly high in the perfectly blue sky. Clouds accented the heavens only slightly, not enough to mar the beauty of the morning. Jas lay his head back in the grass and grinned to himself. There was never enough sky for him, never enough blue. The sky called his name like a sailor to the sea. Only, a sea-cursed man could find his dream of a sea and ship to sail, if he so desired. If only the days of old were born anew, Jas could fly the skies like an eagle, like a hawk climbing the ladder of heaven. If the stories were to believed, it was not considered a great thing to fly, then. Jas longed for the chance. Yet the grass under his back was soft enough, and the lowing of cattle soothed his longing heart. “You cannot cry over what you cannot change,” his dad would say. Jas smiled. The sky was beautiful enough. If he drifted off to sleep lost in the blue, it would seem he drifted on a cloud.

Flash.

Jas started awake. The coals at his feet feebly glowed in protest at the damp chill of night. Jas sighed and struggled to his feet. His legs barely held him. He peered up at the sky, hoping to see the stars. Only an oily sheen of clouds returned his gaze. The stars had been gone too long. Too long.

Flash.

And now that my appetite is satisfied, I find that I don’t quite have the desire to write a long update anymore! But as a gift(ENJOY IT!), I decided to leave my above randomness on this post, instead of deleting it like I planned. So appreciate the glimpse into the mind of a madman.

And while I said I wouldn’t write a full update, I do have to say that this past week has been quite intense! What with Deanna being in town(seeing her for the first time in over a year!!) and trying desperately to fight off the clutching hands of sickness, I’ve been on a roller-coaster ride this past week. I feel as if I’ve been wrung dry and burnished to a fine shine and broken and forged anew and pulled bare of the sheath in all my faded glory… But despite the fire and despite the pain, despite the glory and despite the rain, I stand. I stand. God be praised, I stand!

And for real, y’all, I’m off. Pardon my weirdness(or don’t – it’s all the same to me). Time for me to sleep the sleep of the sleepy. And maybe I’ll dream.

The wind blows as the wind wills
and the call of the gulls rises
and the waves roar in a temper
and the clouds darken at sunset.

And as the crimson glare abates,
the chill of night soft approaches
and the wisps of shadow appear
and the mast quails and shivers.

I stand at the bow, my heart beats.
I stand on the waves,
my hands clenched.
I stand below
the horizon.
I
stand
alone.
Oh so alone.

Will I be found
will I be saved
will I be called
will I be named
will I be?

And as I fall
and as I cry
and as I kneel
and as I die,
I hear a voice rise on the wind:
Fear not the fey eyes of shadow!
Fear not the cold hands of the dark!
Fear not the cruel teeth of terror!
Fear not!
And see!
The dawn!

I stand in the embrace of the wind
and
I stand in the kiss of the starlight
and
I stand in the dance of the breakers
and
I stand.

The wind blows as the wind will
and the cry of the gulls rises
and the waves roar in an anthem
and the clouds proclaim the sun.

Very untechnical, very not literary, very random. But…very real. Take it for what you will.