What is this Feeling

A little book review this rainy Sunday afternoon.

32. Wandering Stars by Tommy Orange. A book that’s simultaneously an easy read while also being very likely the most depressing book I’ll read all year. And yes before everyone chimes in, I’m well aware that depressing books can and often are worthwhile in how they point out the horror of all that’s been and was and still is right under our noses. Still though? Doesn’t mean these books – or this one in particular – are quite the type of books I love to read. This book is a rough one. It frankly unveils the horrors of both addiction and loss of cultural identity as it explores the aftershocks and still reverberating effects of the systemic erasure of Native American life and culture throughout the United States. Sometimes one would wish that we lived in a world where such horrors were not perpetrated by those in power, yet we cannot close our mind to history or deny that such events ever existed. And so I’m grateful for books like this that seek to show through the sweep of history and might-have-been personal narrative that the brokenness of this world is not so easily fixed as some might believe. I also found reading it a troubling experience, a lot of content warnings here, as the saying goes. I really do hate reading books with addiction themes. And…pretty much every single main character in this book struggles with such. I don’t think I could read this book again. Yet still – I did breathe a sigh of relief to see signs of hope at the very end of this tale, a hope that points to something better beyond the curve of the road ahead. As much as addiction and loss are all over this book, there is also just a bit of recovery.

And beyond the addiction themes, there are many discussions of identity and what it means to have a certain cultural identity. What is cultural identity and what brings such? Is it blood, is it cultural heritage, is it geographical longevity and ties to a certain piece of land? Is it familial connections or is it merely knowledge and being connected to that which came before? We all long for an identity as such – we wish to be known and valued for who we are – but who are we? It is difficult for me to overmuch critically analyse this book as I’m aware there are many questions that I am ill qualified to answer. This is a book written from a cultural minority viewpoint and thus questions are raised that I have never had to face sheerly due to the – at least outward – fact that I am in a cultural majority position. Does this mean I have the luxury of not thinking or caring about my cultural and/or ethnographic identity? I would argue part of my apathy in regards to such lies with my belief in Christ and that my true identity is found in being a Christian. Such tags as “race/colour/nation” are not ones I resonate with and find them less than helpful at times. Yet still I must and do recognize it is easier for me to shelve those labels as I don’t have to live in a society in which I am a minority. I must remember this. I don’t think this is a book I shall revisit and likely one I will not keep on my shelf. Yet. This book spawned a lot of thought and I am grateful for such, as much as I did not always agree with the author on some of the answers he pointed towards. I am grateful for the author sharing his perspectives and yes, even a piece of his story.

Lions and Cloudscapes

I am a bit too far behind on logging books so decided I really should get to work on that. Hope this doesn’t take too long, but no promises!!

28. Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen. I have now read the penultimate unread Austen that I will ever read. And that strikes me with sadness, but it would not do to let that impede me from reading these last two (this one and Mansfield) – for is it not terrible to think of me hoarding unread books indefinitely? And thus it happened this past month that I finally lifted this book off the shelf and turned to the first page and started a delightful journey. For in truth this book was a delight. Does it bear the marks of a first work? Which – upon further research – I discovered this was the first of her books that she completed, even though it wasn’t published until after her death. And yes, to answer my above. This book definitely is a bit less mature and full than her later works. It’s absurd in many ways and definitely the least “Austen” Austen I’ve ever read, but still I kind of love it? This book is humorous, ironic, playful in all the right ways. Her writing is quite arch and ridiculous and I love it. And even though the main character – one Catherine Morland – is quite silly and preposterous at times, I only need to remember that she is in actuality only seventeen for it to all make sense again. There is lots in this one to love and I shall certainly return to it for re-reads in future.

29. Evangelism in a Skeptical World by Sam Chan. A solid book helping me to understand that evangelism may – and should – look different in different cultural contexts, including generational ones. I’ve been thinking on this subject recently, especially after reading the biography of John Paton a few months back, and so this book came at the right time for me. Too often I feel it’s easy to think of “evangelism” or “sharing the gospel” as something that must be done in a certain way or following a certain method, and Chan does a great job of refuting that mindset. In truth, sharing the gospel is simply telling someone the truth of how God has made a way to have real relationship with Him and why this is something utterly existentially necessary to every person on this earth. In stating the previous sentence as I have, I have already made choices in how to present this truth and there are leanings and perspectives that I have unwittingly betrayed as I attempted to state the good news of God’s gospel in as simple a fashion as possible. Chan helps us understand some generational shifts that have taken place and how we (at least those of us in the West, for he speaks to predominately a Western audience here) have moved perhaps past the point where a strictly apologetical and fact-based approach resonates with the majority of people. I was intrigued reading about the shifts that have taken place and how Chan has in his own ministry noted that people respond to gospel presentations very differently now than even twenty years ago. Maybe we in the West now respond to more of a story-based approach than the old more structured gospel presentations (such as the Four Laws, bridge diagram, etc, etc). I am very much simplifying this book but what I’m saying here is what stuck with me. Chan attempts to go much deeper and to highlight and give examples for different methods of sharing God’s gospel with others that may be more effective. In all of this, the part of me that hates pragmatic Christianity and tactical discussions cringed a bit. Surely, it is not us who can change the hearts of man? May it never be thought. And Chan rightfully affirms that only God can truly change the hearts of men and women and draw them to Himself. But does God not use such mean instruments as ourselves? And give us wisdom to understand different ways of communicating and approaching others with the greatest story ever told? And so I appreciate this book as one that makes one think more on how we might be lights and witnesses in this modern age. Perhaps I do need to consider more carefully my friend groups and how I might live my life in such a way to more clearly and boldly proclaim Christ. Maybe I do need to think on how I present Christ to others and how the stories I tell can be used by God. Part of me winces a bit at how much Chan loves the story or example method in his talks and speeches. I don’t think I will ever love the leaning on such. Yet I do understand that there are times when stories and parables are brutally effective and useful. Did not Jesus tell stories? Did not Jesus give examples from real life to indicate spiritual truths? So might I too not get too defensive when I hear of preachers and pastors using stories to point to the truths of God. This has been a bit of a rambling review and I apologise for that. I will say this book was worthwhile and made me think a lot about evangelism and how I approach it. Very worthwhile read for that.

30. An Experiment in Criticism by C.S. Lewis. As anything written by Lewis, a very worthwhile read. I much enjoyed this little book (or really almost an essay) sharing Lewis’s thoughts on literary criticism and the desired result of reading a truly good book. As always with Lewis, he makes some firm statements that really cannot quite be backed up, yet I did chuckle as I felt very validated on my stances on re-reading (very very pro) and also enjoyed Lewis making quite clear that reading a work is not simply about the imparting of information for its own sake but that in actuality the reader when reading enters into an actual transformative experience – i.e., the reader cannot get the same effect simply by reading the summary of a work, but that a work is the sum of its parts – content, prose, structure all, and if one truly engages with it will reap a corresponding reward.

I feel as if my mind doesn’t quite work at the same level as Lewis’s (shocking I know), and so it’s challenging for me to truly grapple with this book as I feel it deserves. Yet if anything, I think it made me revisit and think on why I love the books I do. And it also made me desirous to continue to seek better books and to read the truly excellent. Lewis is a bit much sometimes when he attempts to classify the types of books and types of readers that fill the earth. Maybe a bit dogmatic yes and in this day and age, he can even strike one as strident. Yet also I think we could use a bit more of Lewis in this modern age. It is bracing to remember and be reminded of the fact of objective beauty and truth. Yes, almost transgressive no? What does that say about us? And Lewis does not deny the usefulness and delight of different types of works. He is anything but haughtily pretentious in his discussions of literature. He sees the value in works that critics would sneer at, and for that I love him.

31. The Small Rain by Madeleine L’Engle. I still love this one. It is passionate and dreamy in all the best ways. It is a tale of a girl who has yet to truly understand the world or herself. It is the tale of a girl who sees with the maturity of one beyond her years because she has already seen so much and been through so much yet you’re often reminded that she is really just a girl. Katherine Forrester is one of my favourite characters to revisit – as I’ve been reminded as I read this one – and though at times she seems almost alien in the way she hovers above the text, there are brutal moments when all crashes down to earth and Katherine is revealed as oh so human. For a first book, this is revelatory. If only I could write like L’Engle. There are some of her quirks that will be further utilized in later books, but there is also a freshness here. Yes, it’s an adult book and thus some heavy themes – do not read this if you want a light read! – yet this book does not delight in the darkness. There are some descriptive passages that made me almost want to weep for beauty. Yes yes, I know I’m biased because I love L’Engle’s writing so, yet I truly believe this is a wonderful book. This is a book that just works as a late-night read, good for being curled up on the couch with a candle burning as one’s mind slips into a state suspended between the waking world and the world of dreams.

Another Turn about the Room

A few book thoughts this grey Saturday.

26. Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf. A strange and beautiful delight of a book. Typically one reads a book and feels that one has a decent understanding of it and feels satisfied upon reaching its close. To the contrary with this one – I feel that five more rereads will not begin to plumb its depths. And I greatly look forward to reading it again. I could talk more about the many characters who are so richly presented and teased throughout – the titular Clarissa, Peter Walsh, the Warren Smiths, even all the smaller bits that still receive more lavish study and attention than the main characters in most other novels – the scene-stealing Sally Seton, the contradictory Mr. Dalloway, Elizabeth and Miss Kilman and others. I think that’s what I loved most about this book, the empathetic and deep look into the lives of those who in other cases would be passed over as mere superficial things. Of course the imagery and description is simply luscious. This book is veritably cinematic. But even so, much of the action is internal and in the minds of the characters we follow, so in a way – is this a story that can only be told properly in the form of a novel? Perhaps perhaps. I feel as if I need to read this again in a year or so and see how it strikes me then. The storyline following young Septimus and Rezia – powerful and affecting and the scene near its close still haunts my dreams. I think on how Septimus and Clarissa mirror each other in certain ways yet wonder on the thread that binds them. Also it’s fascinating seeing the comparison and contrast between Sally and Clarissa and the lives they once led and the lives they now lead. Are they so different now after all? Many more words I could write but I fear without insight. This book is not one that can be entirely captured or comprehended on first read.

27. Martyr! by Kaveh Akbar. This book is written masterfully yet I confess I struggled with it at times. The themes in this one are deep and rich and highlight the inability of the mundane and human to fulfill the eternal longings of the soul. For what are we on this earth? Why do our hearts cry? I wish I could write half as well as this author, whose prose is such that it quickly and incisively places one in the midst of a richly textured scene, all the particulars laid out that one can imagine you’re actually there, watching and hearing and getting swept up in the drama of this young man Cyrus Shams. The character work is strong and though I’m not always a fan of many POVs, the author here handles it marvelously, even with the dream sequences that while a bit self-indulgent, are a delight to read and aid well in developing and revealing the character of our protagonist. I do feel though that the scenes where Cyrus is center were my favourite and I was always excited to get another glimpse through his eyes. This book is a weird one yet wonderful – showing us a man who feels a bit lost and searching for meaning, trying to understand how an Iranian-American can feel at all at home in the Midwest, USA. Does he have a home? Or will he forever be an outcast, a wandering pilgrim in a land that knows him not? I will always resonate with a book and protagonist that has poetry and art – I do love a book where I feel a bit akin to one who feels so fulfilled in writing and where the struggles of such are laid bare. There is a great line about the best part of writing being what comes after it has been accomplished and the satisfaction and feeling of completion it brings. I wish I could whole-heartedly recommend, but as those who know me would not be surprised at, I did cringe and wince at times at the profane and graphic content in this book. Not a fan, though yes it is a part of reality of life. Still, I struggled with it and thus would not recommend this book to all. Yet! There is beauty in this book at times. A bit dreamy and searching and I appreciate reading the heart cries of one who knows this world is not enough.

Tower of the Moon

Quick book thoughts this Monday morn.

25. How Long, O Lord? by D.A. Carson. A superbly brilliant book on evil and suffering. Carson looks at a topic that is not an easy one and with a pastoral heart and incisive mind attempts to put forth a Christian framework for understanding the horrors we daily see around us in this world in which we live. I would argue that Carson succeeds and my heart was very much encouraged reading this one. This is one of the biggest problems many people have with the idea of God or of Christianity. If there is a God that is so loving, then why evil? Then why suffering? Then why so many horrible things do I see on the news each and every day? Carson does not diminish or downplay the evils we see in this world, if anything, some of the examples he gives of severe suffering and loss are almost too much to read. Yet Carson also very much wants to look at this hard topic from a Biblical perspective and explore what the Bible has to say about suffering and evil but most importantly of all, what does the Bible say about the God who is in the midst of us, even now sustaining and holding this world together through his sovereign power. Does the presence of God in this world mean he smiles upon the darkness that swirls over the face of it? May it never be. Does the presence of evil upon the world that God has made mean God is incapable of holding it back? May it never be. Does this impinge upon the nature of God and the love that we so rightly ascribe to Him? Absolutely not.

This book is one that I shall revisit. Carson does not write this book as a balm or aid for those currently going through suffering (a fact that he reiterates), but rather – he writes this book as a preventative, a book to aid the Christian in understanding the problem of evil and suffering and how the God we worship yet reigns, rules and loves us still. This book is written to give us a higher idea of God and yet still encourage us that we have a Father who cares for even the smallest concern we have. The author acknowledges and leans into the mysteries that we cannot now fully understand (if ever) and is so concerned to rightly place those mysteries, which he locates in the very nature of God which our limited minds cannot fully grasp. The author is very much concerned that we not assign to God that which is not assigned to Him in Scripture and he is very much concerned that we do not contradict that about God which is fully asserted in Scripture. I very much appreciate Carson’s reliance and leaning into the Scriptural text and how it informs us of the God who is.

This is not a book written for those who do not know and love God, though I think it would be an interesting book for a non-Christian to read as it gives an insight into the Christian perspective on evil and suffering and how we as Christians grapple with such. For myself, I found myself profoundly encouraged by this one and seek to use it as Carson intended, strengthening and buttressing my understanding of this topic so that even as I go through trials and tribulations in my life yet to come, I will have a Biblical understanding of suffering and the God who is yet present. The chapter on Job alone was worth the price of admission. Very grateful for authors who write with such clarity of thought yet also such an overflow of empathy and compassion, even seeking to show us how we can best be with those who are suffering even now. It is rare to find such a balance. I cannot recommend this one enough.

Lovingly She Said

23. Meditation and Communion with God by John Jefferson Davis. A really rather wonderful book on the reality that is true communion with God. It is easy to say trite phrases such as “God with us” or “When two or more gather in my name, there am I with them” and nod our heads and think yes of course we are Christians and we acknowledge that God is real and God is with us. But what do these truths actually mean? How can we understand ontologically what it means to be found in Christ? In a deeper philosophical sense, what does it mean that the Holy Spirit is within us and somehow someway working in us? How can as Christians meditate in a way that is healthy, theologically sound and yet also profoundly real? This book is a wonderful essay thinking through some of these questions in a way which speaks to my soul. I confess, I first read this book some 12 years ago now – when I was still residing in Aberdeen! – and I remember being much moved by it and giving it pride of place on my bookshelf. I have not read it since then and recently as I’ve been meditating more and more on the reality of what it means to abide in Christ, I wanted to give this book another whirl and see how it struck me this time. Well I will confess that apparently either I have not changed that much (false, to be sure) or this book really does hold some pretty profound truths – and wonderfully incisive phrasings to hit home – on the nature of our communion with the true God. This book is not exactly an easy read – there are some concepts that are quite difficult to get your mind around. But is that not only proper? Though I found some of the metaphors a bit wonky and maybe less helpful than the author intended (I really could have done with less of the Skype metaphor!), I do appreciate the effort the author took to try and clearly communicate what it means that we in actuality participate in the work of Christ in a real and abiding sense, just as we in actuality participate in heavenly realities in a way which is more real than we fully now understand. The author does a wonderful job of discussing some heady concepts in a way that enflamed my soul with awe as I considered the truths of being a new creation through the work of God in my life. The author also dives deep into what meditation can look like and how it can be practiced in a way which is both biblical and grounded while also very and almost mystically real. I don’t claim to fully understand how God is constantly at work in those who are his, but I can say with confidence that this book was a wonderful aid to my pondering the truths of God and His works in our lives. And I loved the strong Trinitarian theme that runs throughout! Again, the author does not shy away from hard sayings! Instead, the author digs into the Scriptural texts and seeks to bring out their truths into the modern age. Yes, there are a few sayings and quotations in this book that perhaps make me nervous, such as his quoting of persons from a very diverse set of Christian persuasions, yet I cannot find fault with this author for being willing to learn from those who may not come exactly from one narrow stream of Christian thought. At the end of the day, I appreciated the fact that this book was soaked in Scripture and written by one who most clearly knows God and seeks to know Him more. Oh how I long to seek my God thus – and this book mightily encouraged me in that quest and gave me such a sweet desire to draw closer to my God.

24. Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis. A remarkably unique book. I have not read this book in many years – I believe since my college days! – and I recently felt a desire to read some more Lewis and realized I had this book on my shelf and simply must revisit! It was interesting reading it now and I had to be careful to not be overly critical at times! As always with Lewis, I am always finding little things here and there that I don’t quite agree with and sometimes the way he approaches a question feels a bit forced and sometimes I was wishing for more Scripture! Yet! That last complaint especially is a silly one, as I realise that Lewis is writing this book (or rather – gave a series of talks) primarily to talk to those who do not yet know Christ and certainly would not respond well to a scriptural quote-fest! This book is an apologetic book, walking one through the journey of considering the possibility of God and what that may mean to our lives on this earth, particularly if this God turned out to be the Christian one that has been shown to us in the revelation of His Word, firstly in the person of Christ and secondarily in the inspired Scriptures. Lewis’ style is – as always – a delight. It’s simple yet deep, bracing yet fatherly. We get a sense here that Lewis is genuinely trying to tell us something that he actually believes is really true. Which. Yes. In pondering this book, part of me is annoyed that Lewis doesn’t come out and say things more forcefully at times. Yet is that not purposeful? Lewis here is not trying to outline in detail a particular line of dogma. He very clearly states up front that he’s not calling for one denomination or sect as true or false and he also very clearly states – again, aggravatingly at times – that he believes most traditions have their validities and can lead to God. Yet this book is about giving someone the opportunity to ask questions about the nature (or even possibility) of God and then gently guiding them down the path of what this then must necessarily entail. I love it for that. This is a book I can easily recommend to someone and then say – read this then let’s talk for a while. This book doesn’t have all the answers – really, what book does? – but it is a marvelous primer for one who is wondering about God and thinks that maybe there’s something out there? Yes, it’s a tad dated now, written near on 90 years ago, and so maybe Lewis doesn’t quite talk or write in the way it would be the most helpful for those of us in the 21st century. Still though? There is definitely utility to this one and as always with Lewis, there are those sentences and paragraphs that shine with the most brilliant clarity and truth that you take a gasp in awe. So many nuggets that Lewis just casually drops in front of us. I could go on and on with some quibbles here and there, but really, I don’t want to debate Lewis on the details here, because the point of this book is to point us in the direction of a real God who really communicates to us and who really, truly wants to be in communion with us so that we can in actuality be transformed into who we are truly meant to be – sons and daughters of God. What this means we cannot now know, but we eagerly wait for the day when all shall be revealed. Lewis talks about real things as being real things. If God is real, what does that mean for us? What shall we do with that information? That’s a good question. I shall end with some of Lewis’ own words, which I feel will be far more valuable than my own.

“Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it. The principle runs through all life from top to bottom. Give up yourself, and you will find your real self. Lose your life and you will save it. Submit to death, death of your ambitions and favourite wishes every day and death of your whole body in the end: submit with every fibre of your being, and you will find eternal life. Keep back nothing. Nothing that you have not given away will be really yours. Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead. Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in.”

Amongst the Willows

More thoughts on more books.

21. Tales From the Perilous Realm by J.R.R. Tolkien. Of course this one was lovely. It’s Tolkien and his prose and wit is always a delight to enjoy. And enjoy I did! This is a slender volume of a few of Tolkien’s short stories – none of which I have ever read – along with some of his poetry, some of which is quoted (either partially or in full) in his other works. I will confess that I do not think Tolkien is a brilliant poet, but I still smiled to read his poems nonetheless. But his stories? They were full of creative whimsy, humorous & beautiful all. The last story – Leaf by Niggle – has so many pointers to higher things that I think it would take ages to unpack it all, yet it did leave me thinking about some of Tolkien’s theological beliefs. More than almost any other work of his did this work indicate his thoughts on one’s purpose on this earth in light of the eternal. I am always grateful to read more Tolkien and always impressed by the creative fire that burned within his soul.

22. The Work of the Pastor by William Still. A remarkable small book on the most important work a pastor can do for his flock. Namely – feed it. I could write paragraphs and paragraphs on this book, yet I think that sums it up well enough. This book is based off a series of addresses to ministers (or ministers-in-training) given by William Still in the last century. William Still is a former pastor – now gone to his rest – of Gilcomston South Church in Aberdeen, Scotland. And he spent over fifty years pastoring this one church. That may seem remarkable in this day and age, but this experience enables him to preach with conviction one of the themes of this book – focus on feeding the flock which is yours and avoid being distracted by other things, as shiny or diverting as they may appear. Preach the word! In season and out of season, and so William Still did. And so in reading his advice to other ministers, it helped to keep in mind that the advice he gave was coming from a man who believed so strongly in the power of the Word of God by the workings of the Holy Spirit. He states simply that he could in and of himself do nothing for people. Only God can change hearts. And one of the primary mechanisms for working in hearts is the Word of God which has been given to us. And so Still exhorts ministers to avoid spending time on frivolous side-ministries and to avoid spending time chasing after those who do not want to be chased. Instead, a pastor simply must be faithful to his congregation in providing them what has been given to him to preach. A pastor must have a strong relationship with Christ and love Him above all else, for this light shall not go unnoticed! A pastor must keep his focus narrow and allow the Spirit to work through his congregation and their giftings to accomplish the purposes of God throughout the community and the world. There are many nuggets in this book and far more I could discuss but I fear I have already been overly verbose. There are parts of this book where the author is very strong, almost too strong I could fear. But that is just my soft modern ethos speaking. I appreciate the author’s boldness and burden for the church. And he speaks strongly because he knows the ministers he is addressing need to be convinced of the truth which he shares. Grateful for this pastor and the work he did in Gilcomston South. Grateful for his frankness and passion in sharing with us all the “secrets” to pastoring a church. It really is quite simple in the end. A pastor of a church is an under-shepherd – one tasked with growing and maturing his flock to offer them as living sacrifices to the Good Shepherd. And so this shepherd – pastor – must know his flock intimately and feed them well. This is a hard task and not meant for many. But God shall richly reward his faithful servants.

The Writings of Mr. Lucius Cavandar, XII

A few thoughts on a book this lovely springtime day.

20. John G. Paton – A Missionary to the New Hebrides by John Paton. A fantastic autobiography, truly one of the most inspiring and interesting books I’ve read this year. I’ve had this book on my shelf for over a year now and never quite got to it, partly because of its size and partly because of my terribly misplaced thought that because it was a 19th-century autobiography it would be a slow and tedious read. Oh how wrong I was. This book was action-packed (truly!), quick paced and a joy to read. But what is it about? Well, it’s the story of a man’s missionary life in the New Hebrides, an island group a bit to the northwest of Australia. John Paton was a Scottish man who set his course to follow the directions of his Lord and his heart burned within him to go and preach the gospel to those who had never heard such a wondrous mystery. I keep wanting to go into detail on this man’s gospel-fever and his quest to speak of love of Jesus to cannibal heathens and his delight in seeing the Spirit work, yet I cannot do this book justice with my feeble words! But I feel that this book (published in the late 19th century itself) surely is an essential read to anyone seeking to do missionary work in a far off land. Paton discusses the travails and struggles of working with a people whose culture and ways are oh so different…yet he also speaks of the ways in which the men and women he encounters are not that different from the Scottish folks he had left behind. And you’ll notice earlier I used the word “heathen”, a word (along with pagan) that Paton is not shy about slinging around during his narrative. That may seem crass and misguided in this day and age, but of truth I was a bit delighted to read Paton using this word in the sense in which it is the most fitting – of those who do not know God or practice the works of God. As Paton’s work progresses, he is unsparing about his comparisons of the natives he has settled amongst versus the people of his homeland and is very fiery in his describing the majority of his fellow countrymen back home as “white heathens!” Paton with love and grace shows how God works in hearts of people throughout the globe, no matter their colour or race. Yes, some of his descriptors and tone may seem a bit outdated to our modern ears, but all in all, this is a sound book, full of the passion Paton has for seeing the gospel of Jesus Christ be made known. And just as Paton describes the struggle of missionary life in the faraway land, he also spends much time (perhaps too much for my liking?) describing the most dreaded part of all missionary life. Fund-raising. There is much discussion of Paton using his skills in public speaking and relationship forming to criss-cross Australia (and later the world!) to raise awareness for the mission to the New Hebrides and the needs that could be met if regular church-goers felt the urge to give and support. This book felt remarkably modern with Paton’s very real and practical discussion of what was needed to keep the missions supported. At times I felt I disagreed slightly with the approach taken (multiple large collections taken to purchase their own ships which seemed to me perhaps not the right move?) and at times I felt I was only hearing one side of the story (which, true – as this is an autobiography!), but in truth? This book is remarkably valuable as a primary source and a work in which a missionary describes in detail his work over the course of many years. It is even fascinating observing how Paton’s own beliefs change over time. When he is in Ireland for one of his fund-raising tours, he mentions his impatience with the whole “Organ Debate” and the question of instrumental music in churches. He mentions his former staunch belief that instruments should not be allowed in churches but that his practical experience in the New Hebrides using instruments and the singing of hymns changed his mind for good!

I mentioned earlier that this book was action-packed and quick-paced. That is true. There is so much going on, lots of adventures that Paton is involved in (truly only God could have protected him during the many perilous encounters he was involved in!) and the way in which Paton describes the natives and the conversations he had with them is utterly gripping. At times I wished Paton had maybe described himself and his family a bit more (his wife and children were mentioned barely at all!), but that is not Paton’s focus. He is – probably rightfully – focused on the task at hand, the mission to the natives of the New Hebrides and his heart burns to make known the tale. This is not a man writing something so that he might be known by posterity. Nay, this is a man writing a very gripping account of present-day happenings that he might spread awareness of his mission and the work that God hath wrought in lands long-thought unreachable. I would strongly recommend this book to any missionary or anyone with a heart for missions…and indeed, any Christian whose heart thrills to hear the accounts of God working, which even to this day He is.

Lifelines

A few (very few! I promise!) thoughts on books this Saturday afternoon.

18. To Challenge Chaos by Brian Stableford. I’m typically a big fan of Stableford’s weird and wild sci-fi books, but this was a bit of a miss for me. Probably the worst of his I’ve read. Yes it still has Stableford’s characteristic breadth of imagination and delightful prose, but the story itself was a bit too colour-by-number. Almost felt as if one was tossing Canterbury Tales, Hyperion and an Orphic legend into a pot and stirring to see what would result. And the result is muddy. Ah well.

19. The Ancient One by T.A. Barron. I may be the wrong audience for this. If I was 11 or 12, it’s very possible I would have loved this fantastical adventure. As it is, I was left a bit cold. After recently reading Richard Powers’ “Overstory”, I wanted to read another tree book and found this one recommended. It certainly does have strong tree-themes, but it’s a bit more YA than I was anticipating! Lots of Native lore and environmentalist themes which in and of themselves is not a bad thing, but the story itself felt a bit on the nose and also boring at times? I struggled to want to pick it up to read and forced myself to finish. I will say the last quarter or so did finally engage my attention! Not a bad book, but again – maybe it’s my fault for being the wrong age when reading this!

The Process

What one does when one seeks to relax says a lot about a person. Or at least, that’s what I’m pondering now as I – in my own way – spend a few minutes sprawling on the couch attempting to put words to page. When one’s creative juices have gone dry and there are no more faded memories fit to be mined, what does one write about? Well that’s when it all goes meta and the wannabe author starts talking about the process of writing. Nothing more boring for the non-author, am I right? But for some of my fellow authors, well…maybe you’re interested in what I have to say? At this point probably not, because I’m just spinning my wheels in this endless intro and you may now suspect – and you’d be right – that I don’t actually have a plan for what I’m writing. And there’s a reason for that.

I most certainly cannot speak for all writers but guess what? I can speak for myself, and so I do. Writing is something that ends in somewhat the same destination. There are words on a page (or on a screen, or on a wall, or various other surfaces, who am I to judge) and these words are presumably an expression of the author’s mind. Yet the process of writing varies in an almost infinite kaleidoscope of ways. The routines and the tics, the little tricks an author does to trick himself into writing something that could be construed as creative are some of the most treasured tools in the author’s toolbox. And I cringe that I have finally used the dreaded toolbox metaphor. Oh may I never do such again.

And I have now wasted another paragraph spinning my wheels. Oh what is this nonsense! I could be smug and say there is a purpose to that and you know what? There is. But I must also be a bit humble and admit that the fact I have spent two paragraphs talking about nothing to illustrate my point is a fortuitous turn of events that I did not realize its ultimate end until now. And that point shall now be illustrated.

Simply this – and I am proud to think that I am alone in this technique but I am sure I am not and I wait for the other writers to hoarde around me and echo that I am not at all unique – I write of random thoughts and tidbits in my brain knowing the writing soul shall not awaken until I give it a good few kicks. Much as one primes a pump, I know that my best output won’t happen right away. Indeed, I can stare at the screen all I want but it is very rare that my best words bloom immediately. Instead, I write. Sometimes nonsense, such as now. Other times, I will visualize a random scene and simply write what comes to me, allowing my imagination to slowly wake and rub the sleep out of its eyes as it looks around and sees what there is to see. But this is the important thing. I write. It is the most basic and excellent writing advice there is and it is preached for a reason. It works. How does one write? You write. It matters not what one writes. Of course eventually one may seek for quality and depth of substance in one’s prose or poetry, but initially? Just write. I stretch my mind and as I write and let my fingers outpace my conscious mind, sometimes I am even stunned at what is eventually resting on the page, alive and vibrant with meaning and truth that I did not myself know was waiting to spring forth from my soul.

I crave to write things that are of beauty and truth. I often fail, it is true. But occasionally I succeed. And I cannot credit my own foreknowledge or depth of craft that I possess in such meagre quantity. Instead, I am grateful for what I have been blessed with, the ability to communicate somewhat of the miraculous, releasing spirit thoughts from my brain to the great beyond, words on a page. If I simply put fingers to keyboard and pound away, eventually some gold emerges from the dross. Not all the time. Not often even. But when from beyond the great sea come words that ring true in a way that leaves my soul in stunned silence at what has been wrought? I lift my eyes to heaven and say a prayer of thanks. For this is how I rest, by pounding out the fresh harvest of my thoughts so that the chaff may be released and perhaps pure silken wheat may be left behind to witness true. I don’t know what it says about me. But in this ultra modern era in which I inhabit, I write to rest. Writing slows my thoughts and reveals inner dreams that soothe and invigorate my very soul. I cannot promise any of these words are or will be of any use to anyone else. But writing them was of use to me. And why not now release them into the wild? These words are not of anymore use to me now – may they run off into the woods and bless who they will.

oh Winter where is thy sting?

17. Song of Spheres by Walker Larson. Well, this book was definitely interesting. It was a book that I was hoping to love – elements of science, space travel, philosophical questions all. Yet at the end of the day, I found it wanting. Several reasons and I’ll be brief because I don’t really want to spend all that much time writing about this one. Spoilers follow so please be warned if you care for that sort of thing. Firstly, the scientific concepts at the core of this one threw me for a bit of a loop and I’m not quite sure if the author believes in a geocentric model of the universe or not, but I’m left puzzled. I suppose from a conspiracy theory perspective, it’s fascinating to believe it might be true. But for a whole book centered on it? Oh wow. Oh dear. I will give this book some points since I now want to read some actual non-fiction books on astronomy and the earth since this book annoyed me with so much of its science. So yeah, if you want a thriller about a bunch of scientists proving that the sun revolves around the earth? This is your book. Secondly, the prose and craft in this book were…lacking. Thirdly, as much as the book hints and suggestively raises its eyebrow at philosophical questions and the place of man in the world, it never quite goes there. That frustrated me. Either go there or don’t. If you want a book discussing the meaning of life and and the place and purpose of mankind and the possibility of God…well, then, dive in!! This book dances around the edges and never quite commits. All that said? It did keep my attention! I read it in only 2 nights because I really did want to see how the author would wrap up this story. There are certainly thrilling moments! I slightly apologize for being so harsh here, especially as I’m sure this author is still learning his craft and I can certainly not confess I could write anything better. But poor storytelling and wonky science annoys me. What can I say?