Tag: books

Black Lab

James HoganLeave a comment

Hello friends!! I have been having a nice reading time here on the couch in my room…sipping tea and reading some Owen. Finished the current chapter and realised I have only one chapter to go – 10 pages more and Owens Vol. III shall be conquered! Milestone, y’all.

Anyways upon finishing that chapter, I also realised that I am quite far behind in logging my reading….I have a pile of books that I’ve read recently that I have not chronicled here. Tragedy. I shan’t take too long to describe my thoughts, but I do want the record to show that I have read the following…

18. The Silver Chair by C.S. Lewis. Still making my way through Narnia. And Silver Chair is simply marvelous. It never used to be my favourite(and it still might not be), but each time I read it, I like it more. The adventures of Jill & Eustace & Puddleglum…and their battle against the serpent. So many classic moments.

19. Young Miles by Lois McMaster Bujold. Another Bujold omnibus, so I technically could count this as 3(The Warrior’s Apprentice, The Mountains of Mourning & The Vor Game). But no – I shall count it as one. Anyways, after reading about the magnificent Cordelia, I moved on to the next book in the chronology and finally met the infamous Miles Vorkosigan. This book was a delight…although I must confess, need to take a break from Miles for a bit. Just like the characters in this book, can only take so much Miles at one time!!

20. A World Lost by Wendell Berry. I really cannot describe this one. I forget if I’ve talked about Wendell Berry here, but his books are truly some of my favourites. Harkening back to a simpler time. Describing the beauties of the Kentucky countryside…yet also acknowledging the true hurts and loss that reside in each and every person. Few writers touch my emotions as deeply as Berry does. This book was rather short, but no less beautiful for that.

21. Timescape by Gregory Benford. I don’t really know how to describe this one. It was recommended as one of the classic sci-fi novels, it was a delight when reading…as much as I don’t know if I can unhesitatingly recommend this one. It was a fantastic – yet dark and depressing – novel involving characters from both the ’60s and the ’90s…and this book was written in 1980!! Obviously it was fascinating to read about the author’s predictions for the “far future” 1998!! And it was just as interesting reading about his description of academia in the 1963…which was a time the author has lived in(and I have not!), so I feel as if I learned a lot about that time period. Still, the characters themselves sort of depressed me. Despite the fun time-twisting science bits, the characters cynical and immoral nature…was not the most fun to read about. Alas. So will probably not read this one again.

22. Death’s End by Cixin Liu. Another epic sci-fi novel which I shall probably not read again!! This is the third book in a trilogy by Liu…and as much as I admire Liu’s prose and his grand and sweeping tale of life, the universe and…everything(truly, this book fits that phrase better than most), the book’s worldview(er…universe-view?) was quite depressing. Truly – without God, all is dull and all are lost. And this book reflected that truly. I shall write no more about it now, as it’s making me sad thinking about it.

23. Persian Fire by Tom Holland. Finally a book I can recommend!! This book was simply amazing. Robbie recommended it to me…and yup, I need to read more of his recommendations. It’s a historical narrative about the Greco-Persian Wars of the fifth century BC…and if that doesn’t whet your interest, then you’re hopeless. Seriously though – I do love history, so I guess this is right up my alley, but even so…it was incredibly interesting. The author started by giving the history of the Persian Empire(I had no idea of most of it – reading about their conquests was riveting), then gave the history of the Athens & Sparta city-states…then slowly moved the pieces in place for the beginning of the Greco-Persian Wars. We obviously don’t know all the details(as the author stated upfront – there is much disagreement on the finer points, especially as the primary sources are all on the Greek side…and even those are limited!)…but what we do know make a wondrous account. As much as the history of the battles and political wranglings is incredibly interesting, one of my main takeaways is that all the people involved in this were…actual people. People who laughed, cried, had great passions and emotions…and most definitely were not as noble and/or savage as some of the popular conceptions. And even the great heroes in these wars…they may have had great moments, great battles, great years…but did that mean their lives were set from then on? Not necessarily. Some of the heroes on the Greek side…ended up eventually getting cast out of their cities and years later going and living with the Persian court. From praise and adulation to ostracism…pride indeed proceeds a fall. Anyway – this book was great. Very much recommended. I can’t wait to read Holland’s next book that is currently sitting on my coffee table…Rubicon. Guess what it’s about.

24. Scott Pilgrim’s Precious Little Life by Bryan Lee O’Malley. Alright. I’m not sure if this book technically counts…since it is…sort of a comic book?? But whatever, I shall count it! And I am partly shamed, as I really don’t read comic books!! But when I was in Denver with Robbie and exploring book stores…I saw this and couldn’t help but pick it up. Mostly because I love Edgar Wright’s movie Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Neither the book nor the movie are always entirely appropriate…so I can’t whole-heartedly recommend this. The characters and dialogue are quite well written though…I do love some classic high school drama!! Also, I now realise why the movie is so good. Pretty much all of its best lines are ripped wholesale from this book!! There are apparently 6 volumes of Scott Pilgrim’s adventures…not quite sure if I’ll pick up all the rest yet. But I did enjoy this one. (What that says of me, I shall let you decide on your own!!)

Right – so that was far too much of me talking about books. I am very relieved that I’ve finally logged all these books though. I can now go back to my current reads – Owen & my Hungarian novel…which you will have to find out about at a later date….because I have written too many words now and I want to go back to my tea…and pondering life and how much my God has blessed me abundantly in all things. He really, really has blessed me oh so much more than I deserve, y’all.

Peace and love.

A staggering And most Achingly perfect Montage produced To most Dazzling effect

James HoganLeave a comment

Besides, faith itself, as acted on the death of Christ, hath a peculiar efficacy
unto the subduing of sin: for, “beholding” him thereby “as in a glass, we are
changed into the same image,” 2 Cor. iii. 18; and that which we peculiarly
behold, we are peculiarly transformed into the likeness of.  And, moreover,
it is the only means whereby we actually derive from Christ the benefits of
our union with Him.  From thence we have all grace, or there is no such
thing in the world; and the communication of it unto us is in and by the
actual exercise of faith principally.  So it being acted with respect unto
His death, we have grace for the killing of sin, and thereby become
dead with Him,
crucified with Him,
buried with Him,
as in the testimonies before produced.
This is that which we call the application of the death of Christ unto us,
or our application of ourselves to the death of Christ for the
mortification of sin.

-John Owen, Works, Vol III, p 563

Courage, Dear Heart

James HoganLeave a comment

Happy Thursday, friends!!  It is a nice evening thus far…and soon I shall proceed onto the dinner portion of the night.  But now, let me write just very few words.  Mostly I’m writing because I’ve gotten a bit behind on my book logging and thus…here are a few I’ve read lately(honestly I’ve finished all four of these in the past week, so I’m not that far behind!!):

14.  Power, Sex, Suicide: Mitochondria and the Meaning of Life by Nick Lane.  Alright, so a brief preamble.  That title(and the shockingly pink cover!) are extremely attention-grabbing and lurid…but the contents of the book are a bit more dry.  (And fantastic!)  I’d been in a science-y mood lately for some reason…and I’ve always been fascinated by cell biology and energy generation in the cell, ever since AP Bio back in the day I guess?  I’ve been meaning to find a educational work on this subject for a while now and finally a few months ago, found this on Amazon and thought – why not?  It’s probably a bit too technical and dry for a casual read, but I much enjoyed it.  Yes – once again proving I’m a nerd.  *takes a bow*  It gave a fascinating overview of mitochondria and then delved into its (speculated) origins and (perceived) functions in the eukaryotic cell and thus in the majority of life on earth.  While this book is coming from a very obviously secular perspective, I was awed again and again by the rich and gorgeous complexity of the inner workings of the mitochondria.  And I was a bit surprised – but maybe I shouldn’t have been? – to see how much of the research cited in this book was relatively recent…we are still learning so much about life!!  And again and again the author made disclaimers to say that what he was discussing wasn’t known for a certainty, but something that he strongly believed was likely.  Sometimes we laymen think that all in the scientific realm has been rigorously proven and defined, sure without a shadow of a doubt.  But nay – there is surely much uncertainty and much that is unknown.  The origin of the eukaryotic cell is something we can’t with confidence deduce!  I say all these words just to underline the fact that this world in which we live is swimming with wonderfully complex and intricate forms…and these endless forms most beautiful are not fully known by any of us who live on this gorgeous earth.  But they are known by their Creator.  And that – the fact that there is a Creator – is something that was most definitely not stated in this book, but it was something which I was richly reminded of as I was stunned anew on almost every page by the utterly fascinating facts contained in this book.

15.  The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis.  Mm, this book.  Well a few weeks ago, I was in a reading mood.  And I wanted to read something (fairly) light and also warm and encouraging.  The problem is…my current books at that time were my mitochondria book and Owen.  So…yeah.  I perused my shelf and as my eyes passed across Narnia…I couldn’t resist.  I don’t want to talk too much about the Narnia series now (because I could go on far too long!), and while there are certain pitfalls contained in this series – which I will most certainly not go into now! – the beauty and truth in this series are profound.  There are few authors who can express as much in as few words as Lewis.  This first book I shall not give a full review of, except to say it is a wondrous introduction into a wonderful world.  Read and weep.

16.  Prince Caspian by C.S. Lewis.  Sensing a theme here?  Caspian is a wonderful book and reading it reminded me of when I read it long ago as a child.  I enjoyed it just as much now as then…if not more so.  The mark of a truly great book, I think.  The introduction of some great characters in this one…namely…Reepicheep the Mouse!  And I guess Caspian himself is ok too.  Peter, Susan, Edmund & Lucy all return and once again…some profound truths in this book.  I have tried to type out some of those truths several times in this paragraph and have failed miserably, so I will not continue as I am not Lewis.  But will mention the section when Lucy meets up with the Lion and discovers what she must do regardless of the cost…beautiful.  If only we all were so conscious of the great worth and joy of obedience.

17.  The Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis.  I sometimes hesitate to say it as the first four Narnia books are all spectacular…but if I had to pick, this is my very favourite.  Eustace Scrubb, my favorite character in Narnia.  The dragon sequence.  The voyage on the sea, in beauty and peril both.  The random and spectacular various islands discovered in their adventure.  The interactions between Eustace, Edmund, Lucy, Caspian, Reepicheep, et. al…and then the reaching of the End of the World and the glimpse into Aslan’s country…I cannot properly describe this book and I shall not try for fear that I will spoil it for the rest of you.  It is beautiful.  In the darkest shadows and absence of all light, there is yet Hope.  As I texted my friend last night as I finished this book, “…it’s a simply lovely book, with truth that reflects a greater Truth and beauty that reflects a truer Beauty.”

You will notice I have of purpose kept my summation of these books fairly brief as you really need to read these yourself to understand why they are marvelous.  Lewis’s work is most definitely not for everyone, as his intermixing of myth and legend and very Truth is something that may be off-putting to some.  And when reading, we must be very careful to beware the sin of idolatry…for truly, Aslan is not Christ and his words are not God’s Words.  But there is something here that warms my heart as I think on the true far country for which my heart longs.  There is something in these pages that spurs me on to love and great deeds as I ponder my duty to the God whose son I am.  There is something in these books that reminds me of the great love which fills my heart –  through the work of the Holy Spirit – because of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ Himself for us.  Remind yourself of these truths and meditate on the love of Christ.  Abide in Him and all shall be well.  Thus sings my soul.

To Dream

James HoganLeave a comment

Just had a beautiful hour walking down to EQ in the (now slightly too warm) afternoon sunlight and reading on the porch.  Finally finished:

13.  Lamentation by Ken Scholes.  This is a book that I discovered via an online article some time back…found the book itself in Half-Price Books not that long ago and now have completed it.  It’s…an interesting book with interesting ideas and I want to say I liked it.  The idea of it intrigued me(mix of fantasy and ancient technology and whispers of Earth) and indeed the ideas and the plot is the best thing about the book.  The writing itself is a bit rough, and as I started reading it, I was very much not impressed.  Figured I’d finish it for the sake of it but not read any more of the series.  Half-way through, I found it getting slightly better, but still doubted I’d want to read any further books.  Then somehow today, as I finished the book…realized I actually do want to read more of this series now.  Good job, Scholes – you’ve hooked me!!  Why didn’t I like it at first?  Well, I suppose I can say that I’m not a fan of the way the author handled the characters.  As some of you may know, my very favourite books feature characters so rich and deep that they seem almost real.  This book…does not have characters like that.  They all seemed a bit one-dimensional.  A few chapters in, you instantly understand who the heroes are, who the villains are…and…that’s not necessarily a bad thing, but the characters themselves just seemed flat.  No layers, no growth.  The prose was also a bit dull and predictable at times, but I suppose I can’t complain too much, as my own writing is far worse!  Nonetheless, not impressed.  But…the world itself, and the evident detail that has gone into the world-building and plotting gave the story a richness that saved it from the lacklustre characters and mediocre writing.  Very much have to give the author props for creating some seriously fascinating history and backstory!  And at the end of the day, I am curious to see where he takes the story from here and I’m hoping(as this was his debut novel) that the second book improves and grips me even further.

Now as I don’t have the aforementioned second book yet…I need to decide which book I’ll read next.  It’s going to either be a scientific work or a biography or a sci-fi novel…hmm what shall it be I wonder….??

I suppose now it’s time to shower and then get ready for dinner.  And thank God yet again for all that He has made.  Reading Exodus today and Moses’ relationship to God filled my heart with a desire to know God more.  My heart burns for this.

Peace and love.

Fountains Keep Nothing for Themselves

James HoganLeave a comment

Last night, even though I *should* have been going to bed and getting a good night’s sleep…I was silly and insisted on finishing my book instead:

12.  Cordelia’s Honor by Lois McMaster Bujold.  Technically I could probably count this as two books – Shards of Honor and Barrayar, but I have the omnibus edition and both individual books are rather short and I did only read it in four days so…I think I will only count it as one.  Anyways!  This book was magnificent.  I’ve always heard good things about Bujold and even tried reading one of her books back in my Aberdeen days – Cryoburn.  For some reason, I struggled with that book and didn’t really enjoy it?  I even remember being bored by it, for some reason.  Hm.  Maybe it was not the best of hers to start with.  Anyway – this book – Cordelia’s Honor – was absolutely magnificent.  I’ve read some reviews online stating that the first book(Shards of Honor) is not very well written and must be suffered through to get to the good stuff…I absolutely disagree as I simply loved all of it.  It may be that the terse and slightly clunky prose reminds me of my classic golden age sci-fi favorites, but nonetheless, so many fantastic moments throughout.  And I realize I am not explaining why I like this at all.  Well, it’s a grand sci-fi adventure with amazingly real characters in a fascinatingly drawn universe.  Cordelia is magnificent and she is my favourite and I simply need to read more about her!  And Aral Vorkosagin isn’t so bad himself, a warrior, a man of integrity and a man of deep-felt love.  And the story of them meeting each other on a random newly discovered planet amidst confusion and conflict and their growing admiration and then love for each other…wonderful.  There are some harrowing moments in this book too – it is most certainly not for the faint of heart.  But the moments of hair-raising terror were made up for by the sheer wonder of discovering a new world and new favorite characters…and the high political(and martial!) drama was beautifully portrayed.  And while some books can glorify or make war seem grand and desirable(especially pulp sci-fi!), this one most certainly does not.  The stupidity and ironic valour of war are highlighted…and individuals are prized.  Even the low and insignificant, the feeble and disabled…all are worthy of life and honor.  I was most impressed by the the themes in this book.  And once again – Cordelia is just plain awesome.  An epic moment near the end of the book left me grinning and slightly open-mouthed in awe.  I shan’t spoil it here, but let’s just say it involves Cordelia on a shopping trip to the capital…and it has a most satisfying denouement.  (this book would make a great movie by the way – why has it not been done!?!)  One more thing – often times science fiction books are all about the action and fancy new tech and exotic worlds, etc, etc and the characters are given rather short shrift.  Other books are marvelous character studies, but the book’s setting and plot is just a bit blah.  This book was a most lovely blend of my very favorite sci-fi elements with delightfully raw and relatable characters living their lives.  Well done, Bujold, well done, indeed.  Next book – omnibus Young Miles – has already been ordered.  One last thing – would I recommend this unreservedly?  Probably not, because it does have a few very scary moments that are not for the faint of heart, and while not overly graphic, is also probably not for the squeamish either.  As you can tell though…I loved it and glad I finally have discovered why Bujold is so strongly praised.  One last thing – this book did indeed have some perfectly beautiful lines in it.  While a lot of the prose is merely…serviceable, there are a couple lines that made me near weep for their beauty.  And that is not a bad thing.

That was a very long review.  Sorry?  Guess you can tell I enjoyed the book!  Now…time to sip on my coffee and begin work this day.  Peace and love.

Wishmaster

James HoganLeave a comment

So finished another book last night.  Read:

11.  The Dragon Reborn by Robert Jordan.  I’m not going to overly detail my thoughts on this book, other than it’s another fantastic Wheel of Time book…full of high drama and delicious fantastical elements.  This is the book where Rand is barely ever in it, but he does show up at the end in time to defeat Ishamael and claim the Stone of Tear, prompting both Aiel and Defenders of the Stone alike to shout out in acclamation.  And this book also contains the beginnings of Mat being awesome…as well as Perrin meeting Faile.  For somer reason, the more I read these books, the more I like reading Perrin & Faile’s story…and this is where Perrin first discovers his falcon and their love story is beautiful, as messy as it later becomes!  In this book it ends with her wiping his blood off his face, the blood he shed to save her life.  Romantic to the core.  Now I apologize – for any of you who have not read this book, it sounds most confusing…and trust me, even reading it can sometimes be confusing.  But wonderful all the same.

What else shall I discuss today?  I suppose I could mention that myself and John are planning to go see newest Avengers movie – Infinity War – later tonight.  It should be epic, as it has approximately 23 superheroes in it.  And…I believe that’s not that much of an exxageration.  Excited for that!!

Also been for some reason in a Nightwish mood lately…listening to it both at work and in my drives to and from.  I forgot how much I love them and just how gorgeous their music is!!  And thankfully, I have Laura who I can call and we can go into great detail discussing our fav albums and singers (obviously Tarja is amazing….but I do like both Annette and Floor in their own way, as well!!)  Been remembering the times I saw them live(first with Jackie, second with Laura!) and it has renewed my desire to one day soon chronicle my all-time favorite concert experiences, of which surely Nightwish show will be near the top.

Now it is about time for me to take my leave, but firstly (note, I should really probably leave off that last stanza…but can’t help it – love it even though poem would probably be better ending stanza sooner…)…

The morning warm and dark breaks
like the darkened sea upon the shattered shore,
and though I think there is no beauty left to find,
and no more dawn song tripping through my mind,
I turn the key and turn my head and turn and see
her entering,
and the gate swings open, open
and the streetlamps’ light descends upon her
faintly.

Faintly yes
but enough for me
to see

Chocolate curls cascading,
Snow white dress shimmering,
Her eyes liquidly
Dark and full of magic,

and though I approach but softly
her lips quirk up in sheepish smile,
our eyes brush past each other
and touch oh so gently
and lips murmur
courteous nothings
in the wind.

And lo her eyes smile and dip and dance away
and so I bow and take my leave
and so
and so
the dawn song breaks upon my heart once more
as the foamy sea cast its waves
upon that golden shore.

Waiting

James HoganLeave a comment

My latest read:

10.  The Great Hunt by Robert Jordan.  Finished reading this last night on the porch of EQ, sun shining bright.  Now already on to the third book in series!  But…this one was great fun and once again I forgot how many dramatic events happened in this book!  Rand’s first real duel with swords(goodbye Turak), Egwene’s experience with the Seanchan(horrifyingly scary), Ingtar’s salvation(“Shinowa and the Light!”  …this moment is still one of the most tear-inducing sequences in entire series – no one is so far gone that they cannot yet be redeemed…), the Heroes of the Horn, the Portal Stones, Lanfear’s grand entrance…alright, I’ll stop now since most of you have no idea what any of this means!!  Just know it was a brilliantly written book that almost never stopped for breath.  Love it.  Also sad since this one is the last book we get with relatively “normal” Rand.  Now his descent into madness begins…

And since I’m writing, might as well also share my encouragement at my latest readings.  Reading Psalm 77 & 78 and then further in Genesis this morning.  And I do so love Asaph’s psalms because he is so real and honest about his emotions and how he is feeling.  He didn’t always feel the presence of God – just as we don’t always – and sometimes he wondered if the goodness of God was even real.  “Will the Lord reject forever?  And will He never be favourable again?  Has His lovingkindness ceased forever?”  And on and on in this vein he goes.  And then he pulls himself together and resolves to remember the deeds of the Lord and ponder all the things that God has done in his life…and confidently declares that the way of the Lord is indeed holy.  Might we remember this in our dark moments when it seems as if God is not working at all.  Meditate on what God has done in your life in days past…and hold on to the truths of who God is.  God is faithful and loving and holy and good and sovereign and magnificent and glorious and He is God.  And in Psalm 78 we get the counter-example of the nation of Israel…even though they did eat the bread of angels and saw with their own eyes the glories of God, they still committed the most serious sin of unbelief.  They did not believe what God had said despite seeing His works with their own eyes.  Might we tremble as we think on the fact we have so often failed to believe in God in our own life.  Despite the fact that He loved us.  He loves us!  How can we yet fail and fall so many times.  But we do and although it is a terrible thing that we would doubt God…our Lord is loving and faithful to forgive us our sins, because He is our Father who loves us dearly.

And one further reminder of how it is good to be still and wait on God even though we oft don’t believe He is working.  Abram received the promise of God that He would have a son from his own seed.  And this is a grand promise and one that Abram did indeed believe – “He believed God and it was credited to him as righteousness.”  But later on…did Abram doubt?  I think he did.  Some time later, he still had no child.  And he must have thought – “Well, I suppose God wants me to take matters into my own hands?  Maybe I’m supposed to do something different.  I’m oh so tired of waiting.” Alright, I’m sure he didn’t put it exactly like that…but when his wife Sarai suggested that he have a child with the maid Hagar instead…Abram agreed.  What a terrible idea, right??  “Well, I can’t have a child with my wife…so I suppose I will have one with my wife’s maid instead.  That’s surely what God has in mind.”  And it is definitely a bad idea and there is much fallout from it yet God uses it as He uses all things.

But don’t we so often do the same thing?  We are tired of waiting for God.  And we think that if we just took matters into our own hands…then things would work out the way they were supposed to.  Right?  We rationalize an ill-founded decision because we think it will get us what we want.  We stop believing in God.  We start believing in ourselves.  I will forge my own destiny and I will obtain my heart’s desires.  Oh us of too little faith in God and too great of faith in ourselves. 

Think and ponder and meditate on the glorious nature of God and on what He has done in your life.  Be thankful and rejoice in the works of the Lord in you.  And although waiting is irksome and tiring at times, it is good to be still and wait on our Lord.  Rest in the knowledge of the most perfect love of Christ.  Forever and always.

Scribblings

James HoganLeave a comment

The scent of jasmine wafted through the open window.  He breathed deep.  Truly, this was a different place.  As he continued to climb the stairs, he looked out the window to his right and gasped.  The grey sky from down below was gone.  Now there was only blue sky as far as his eye could see, even to the horizon.  Below him green foliage waved cheerfully.  The tops of trees, he realized.  From above it was difficult to identify the types of trees, but they were large, that he knew.  Yet it seemed as if he looked out upon a carpet of living green tendrils, welcoming and inviting.

The sky glowed an even deeper blue.  The sun was nowhere to be seen and if he had to guess, it was surely not far past noon.  Yet the breeze floating through the window was cool and crisp and he breathed in the scent of jasmine once more.  He came to himself and found that he was standing still at the window, captured by the glories of the day, enraptured by the true found stories.  He had heard tell of this, but even now, he didn’t know how it was possible.  This was a dead world.  Or so he had been told.  Where did this life come from?  Was it a dimensional pocket extrusion or a fancy holographic illusion?  He doubted it.  Even the finest light tech couldn’t replicate such beauty as lay before him.  Maybe it was a different universe.  Indeed, he thought his own incapable of this.  Maybe in Old Earth.  Not here.  Not now.

And now he understood why some would come to pilgrimage here.  Now he knew why some would come to live a half-remembered dream.  Even if he didn’t truly understand where or how or why he was, he did not doubt that he was.  He breathed in deep.  Again the jasmine.  Again the light of the heavens startled him with its brilliance.  Surely it was not possible for something to be so blue.

He supposed he should keep climbing.  He had been standing at the window for what could have been either hours or days.  He knew not.  With a sigh, he turned and stepped upwards.  He knew he dare not linger, even though he felt as if he may never see such a glorious sight with his own eyes again.

As he continued up the stairs, it seemed that the staircase started to spiral in a tighter circle, that possibly the stairs began to narrow.  He wasn’t sure, so gradual was the change.  The deep mahogany of the handrail felt warm beneath the skin of his hand as he ascended.  His legs now seemed incapable of stopping.  Upward and onward.

Every few steps he would pass another window of blue radiance and he would smell jasmine and honeysuckle and he would feel the wind caress his cheek.  Yet he did not stop for he knew that what he sought was nigh.  What he sought!  But he sought for nothing, that’s what he had told the old man down below, so long ago now.  The old man in his violently violet robes, welcoming him in a voice that had seemed overly pretentious and full of joy at the time.  Now the man wondered.  Was everything coming true?

He wasn’t a pilgrim, he had told the old man.  Pilgrims are fools, blinded by the whispered glories of a dead past.  Why was he here?  Well, it was simple – he had superiors who had superiors who in a most superior fashion had declaimed desires of revealing what lay beneath the pernicious rumours.  And he was the least threatening of his kind, so of course he would be the one sent.  To discover and learn and seek the truth.  To expose, as he thought of it.  To rip the curtain back from the hallowed temple of the weak-minded.

And so he had entered the squat building earlier this morning (week?  Month?  Year?) and despite the cheap ceramic-overlaid interior décor, he had smiled as he heard strains of Rachmaninoff’s 2nd faintly echoing, as if from a far-off room.  And then the old man had ruined everything with his ridiculous grand entrance and pretentious posturing and vain attempts to justify the existence of the Tower.

Despite the old man’s pleas, he had ignored all the scribblings and carvings.  He had seen the same such artifacts countless times before.  Forward to the main attraction, forward to the staircase.  At least he knew of the staircase now, after his…encounter of the night before.  Gooseflesh rose.  He would not recall those memories.

But now he climbed.  And at the bottom he was a man who believed nothing and ventured everything because what was there to lose?  Now as his hand gripped the rail tightly, he shuddered.  Did he believe?  Could he believe?

 A doorway loomed ahead.  There were no more stairs.  The door was small, barely taller than his own height.  It was of oaken appearance, inlaid with finely wrought metallic elements.  Light glowed and pulsed amongst the metal engravings.  Warming, welcoming light.  His hand left the railing and he grasped at the doorknob.  It was cool and smooth under his touch, and it seemed to melt into his hand as if his hand was the only key that could unlock the door.

He shuddered again.  In fear?  In bliss?  He did not know.  What had they done to him?

What were they doing to him?

He could not resist any longer.

He ever so slightly turned the doorknob.

And the door swung open.

Ashes

James HoganLeave a comment

And another Tuesday rears its head.  I have a few minutes in which to write, so write I shall!  This morning a tragedy befell me.  After a long and happy life, my cafetiere(or french press, if you want to use the coarse wording…) finally died the final death.  The crack that has been worrying it for some time finally finished propogating all the way around the glass and so when I began to try and pour my coffee into the mug…let’s just say quite a bit of coffee went in a direction other than the mug as well.  But this cafetiere has had a long and full life since I bought it in…2011 I think?  I still remember being shamed by Pastor Dominic back then when he found out I drank instant coffee!!  A rough paraphrase of his words, “James – my estimation of you has somewhat lowered hearing that.”  Thereupon I immediately went to John Lewis and bought this gorgeous little cafetiere and indeed it has served me well.  Now…I’ve written far too many words memorializing this coffee-making device and so I shall end with the happy news that because I am silly, I actually bought a back-up cafetiere from JL when I was in Aberdeen back a year and a half ago now.  So…now I’m excited to put that one into service!  May it last seven years as well.

And I suppose I should also log my latest read, which again – should not surprise you if you’ve been following my chronicles:

9.  The Life and Diary of David Brainerd edited by Jonathan Edwards.  Yesterday as the weather was still somewhat nice( Houston is heating up drastically though and I am sad!), I walked down to EQ and finished up this book on the porch, basking in the sunlight and the gentle breeze.  But better than those external factors…finishing up this book chronicling the life of a man who loved God and longed for His glory.  Oh how I wish I could make every one of you read this, but truly – what a wonderfully convicting and heartening work.  I looked it up on amazon just now and the version I read is only $13.58 and it is worth every cent.  So…buy it please.  And read.  I don’t remember this book affecting me quite as much the last time I read this, but I suppose I am in a different place now(emotionally, spiritually, geographically, whatev – ) and thus I should not be surprised at the change.  But I can now say with confidence this is surely in the top three of my all-time favourite biographical/autobiographical works.  I am a history nerd, I know…so partly the reason I love it so is the window into 18th century American Christianity, of course.  And I am a theological nerd(surprised?) and so reading the doctrinal thoughts and convictions of Brainerd(along with the notes by J. Edwards!  Brainerd actually died in the home of Edwards, so Edwards has quite a few first-hand comments regarding Brainerd and his circumstances) is supremely fascinating.  But…the reason I love this book the most is because it is a glimpse into the mind and heart of a man who loved God passionately and desparately.  And this book is the story of a man who poured himself out to the utmost, even to death.  All for the glory of God.  And so my heart cries for similar passion and love.  May I live such.  I am nowhere close.  But may I strive and may I cry.  If only I could live in such a humble, broken manner.  All for the love of my God.  

Lingering, my heart burns

James HoganLeave a comment

Don’t have time to write long this sleepy Monday morning…but wanted to log my latest read:

8.  The Eye of the World by Robert Jordan.  This is a book(and series!) that I haven’t read in a while…and by a while I mean probably at least three years?  But oh is it a classic.  One of my favourite(surely top five) fantasy series of all time and this is the book that kicks it all off.  I forgot how quick-paced it was – just a rollicking fantasy adventure…but so rich in detail – truly a finely woven masterpiece of a novel that also manages to introduce myriads of interesting, real characters.  And that’s probably part of the reason I love this series so much – as much as the world is a gorgeously coloured tour de force of imagination and the history is deeply layered and the prose is utterly delightful, the fact that the characters feel living and breathing is something that not many authors can manage to do, especially this many characters!  So yes, reading TEotW was a fun, magnificent experience…and now time for Book 2.  Will probably start that tonight!  As I finished this book last night, I realised how perfectly the ending opened the door to a wider world and invited you in…a grand adventure is ahead. 

Now, my friends, it is surely time for me to end this entry and begin(or at least attempt) my work this morn.  While I could attempt to describe my weekend and the fun times with friends that were had…that is unnecessary to chronicle and my fingers are not quite up to the task.

And so just know that my favourite part of this past weekend was surely Friday night…drinking my tea and reading more of David Brainerd while basketball played on in the background(Syracuse v. TCU was not really that exciting to be honest…).  As much as it is good and enjoyable to have entertaining nights with friends, sometimes it is better to sit with a mug of hot tea and a comforting book.  Thus I declare.  And the fact that this book is also convicting and awe-inspiring and magnificent in the description of a man who was known by God and used by God and loved by God…all the better.  My heart is encouraged.  Despite the ease at which we fall into complacency, may our souls long for that greater joy that comes from thinking on the things of our God.