Evensong

This evening I sip on my coffee and read from my book, Spiritual Depression, by M. Lloyd Jones. I have to say, I really think it should have a different title, as the current one was initially a bit off-putting to me. I feared that the book would end up being depressing in and of itself! But happily my fears were for naught, as it’s been delightfully encouraging and wonderful to read. So instead of writing a lot of my own words tonight, just thought I’d leave you with a brief quote from it, at the end of the chapter titled ‘Weary in Well Doing’.

“Well, remind yourself of your blessed Master and look to Him and ask Him to forgive you for ever having allowed yourself to be weary. Look at your life again in this way, and as certainly as you do so, you will find that you are filled with a new hope, a new strength, a new power. You will not not need your artificial stimulants or anything else, for you will find that you are again thrilled with the privilege and joy of it all, and you will hate yourself for having grumbled and complained, and you will go forward still more gloriously, until eventually you will hear Him saying: ‘Well done, thou good and faithful servant, enter thou into the joy of thy Lord’, ‘Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.'” – M.Lloyd Jones

Truly, this is only a small sample of the awesomeness of this book. If you need a new book to read, I heartily recommend this one!

Now, I think I shall read a bit more before John turns on the TV. It is Suits night, after all!

Clouds and Snow

So as I look outside the window now, I see the grey skies of this morning have vanished, although snow still graces the rooftops and lingers on the pavement below. But the winds of winter are strong, sending beautiful cottony clouds to billow across the blue of the sky. And the sun shines!

I did so think that winter was over and spring was coming, but apparently I was mistaken. Awoke this morning to see – snow everywhere!! So I spent a nice morning with my eggs and coffee and reading before tramping through the snow to church. And oh what a joyous time at church it was!! Singing with all our hearts(Psalm 24 was particularly lovely – The earth is the Lord’s, and all it contains! …who is the King of glory? The Lord strong and mighty!) and enjoying being together as a church – an amalgamation of people from all over this earth, people from all walks of life and manner of living. And yet we all share a common bond – we are heirs of God and brothers of Christ and bought by the blood of this Christ and sealed by the Holy Spirit and desirous of being with our King and God forever and ever!! And so today, as our local fellowship of believers in Christ – what a wonder it is that I have been blessed so be included therein!! – met for the first time as a new church, we couldn’t help but exult in the Lord and worship him oh so heartily!! We are no longer part of the Church of Scotland – nay, we are no longer tied to an organization who deems servility to the world of higher value than being submissive to Christ and all He has told us in His Word. And so this new church – Gilcomston Church – is no less a church because we are not tied to a denomination or hierarchy of men. Gilcomston Church remains part of the church universal – the body of Christ – and as we long to worship Him in spirit and truth with all our might and all our heart and all our soul, I simply bow my head and rejoice in my spirit. That God has blessed me so…by putting me with people here with such a passion for God and His Word – what have I done to deserve this? Nothing. And yet God blesses me.

And indeed, God our Father – the King of glory! – has blessed our simple church. And as we rejoiced this morning in song and word and love(Dominic had a beautiful sermon from Psalm 98…oh, how we long for the return of the King!), I was overwhelmed by what God has done for us. He has given us much. May our hearts continue to cry out to Him all day long and through the watches of the night! And if you are reading this and don’t know our church, pray for us, I ask. Pray for us.

And I was not planning on writing all that, but I shall let it remain.

Now time to prepare some dinner before evening service! Oh how I love Sundays! A day to worship God and enjoy the rest He has given me and be at peace in my soul. And y’all – I pray that you may have such a peace – a peace as sweet as the most beautiful sunrise, and no less glorious. Grace and peace.

Market Street

About time for a sandwich this gorgeous Saturday morning(sunny, blue skies, crisp and not-freezing air!) but thought I’d write a few words first. Am still a little bit sleepy despite the copious amounts of sugar I’ve been consuming via my raspberry mocha, but the fun times last night with John and Ruth and Zara were very much worth the sleepiness today.

So now…well, I thought I’d try and write a short poem or story or something at least mildly literary, but my muse has fled and I’m hungry and I can think of some words far better than any I could craft…

And we know that the
Son of God has come,
and has given us understanding
so that we may know Him who is true;
and we are in Him who is true,
in His Son
Jesus Christ.
This is the true God and eternal life.

Little children, guard yourselves from idols.

-1 John 5:20-21

How true and lovely these words are!! As we have been made pure and holy in the sight of God Himself, how much more should our love overflow and our hearts long to stay free of the snares of this world and our songs rise e’er higher to our Father and our God! May our praise mingle sweetly with the music of the glorious stars above and the roaring seas below as all things created worship the Creator! May all things – both visible and invisible, both weak and strong, the mighty and the humble, both old and young and the wise and the simple and both fey and common and the low and the glorious- may all things praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!

To Dream of Light

And yes, I’m in my customary corner of Books and Beans…about to get a sandwich but first thought I’d post a few words! Had a pretty good week, albeit feeling a bit battered at work. Anyways, saw Les Mis last night with Tineke and Rosemary and one of Tineke’s friends…a very emotionally powerful movie – I am not usually one for musicals, but this was…hard-hitting and gripping and tragic and beautiful. Not sure if I can see it anytime again soon but…well done, indeed.

Today I will probably go back home and try to clean a bit, maybe make some spaghetti/salad for dinner and have a relaxing Saturday evening. It will be lovely, methinks!

And now – I posted this brief review on another site, but thought I’d put it here as well…most of you won’t have read this, but these are my thoughts on the ultimate book of A Wheel of Time. If you’ve not read this yet plan on it(Particularly looking at you, Laura!!), do not read the below!!


So.

It is done.

I took quite a bit longer to read than I normally do(helped by the fact that I had numerous things going on almost every night for the past two weeks!)…but I finished this past Thursday night, January 17th. When I had about twenty pages left, I got up to make another cup of tea…just because I wanted to delay the end that little bit longer. And oh, it was worth it. My feeling at the end, while one of sadness for “an ending”…was primarily one of…satisfaction.

I feel that any summarization of my thoughts or review of the book as a whole would be a meager reflection of my true thoughts and feelings while reading the book, but I will say that for the week and a half I spent reading, my thoughts have been whirling and my mind has been spinning and I will say the words that most accurately reflected the state of my musings after reading would be “dazed”…”battered”….”emotionally raw”…”euphoric”…”hollow”… indeed, I often felt I’d slipped partway into the emotional mindset of one of the soldiers on the front lines at Merrilor…under the relentless onslaught of the stench of death and the hot blood of thousands upon thousands…constantly wondering when the next betrayal would come or how salvation could possibly be wrought?

So really, I make this less a review of the great tome that is “A Memory of Light” and more of a melody of praises for the work that is “The Wheel of Time”. One of the finest fantasy series I have ever had the privilege of reading, and if not all things were perfect in the execution of this landmark of literature, maybe that accurately reflects the tale that was told – all stories change in the telling and the threads of truth interwoven throughout are beautiful.

I could talk about the forces of evil and the powers of darkness that descended upon the earth – Demandred and his armies(I can even now hear him shouting “Lews Therin! Face me and fight!” as he strides through the battlefield)…Taim and his dreadlords(what a fitting end did he have – destroyed by the Amyrlin – Egwene, that paragon of Light!)…Padan Fain and his fitting end as the worm he was…Graendal and Moghedien and their fate to survive in the world that is re-shaped without their influence…Lanfear and her ignominious death to Perrin – that gentle blacksmith who finally learned to do what must be done. I could discuss the failures of the powers of darkness and their weaknesses and flaws…their utter pride and slavery to the Dark…but this was not their story.

I could discuss the battle between Rand and the Dark One…their philosophical debate to span the ages…their weave and counter-weaves of worlds shaped to serve their own desires…but as some have mentioned, I feel this resolution of Rand letting the Dark One – that worthless mite, yea that evil void, the darkness unseen – go on existing was not as could have been. Indeed, as has been postulated above, choice – to live one’s own life as one will – does not depend on the existence of a Dark One, especially not one that was proven as insignificant and tragically pitiful as the Dark One was shown to be when Rand dragged It out squirming into the Pattern. I feel – although I could tell from the framing of Rand’s declaration to kill the Dark One that it was not to be – that the story would have been better served if Rand had truly killed the Dark One and crushed his head underneath his heel, as is ever fitting for evil. In the end though, I must again remember, this is a great work of literature in a fantastical world and cannot expect it to reflect perfectly these lives of ours in this universe of ours.

But no, what I instead choose to think on is the choices of the men and women in this world – those who fought and died for the forces of the Light, those who bled and suffered in the Last Battle because it was what had to be done. The villagers of the Two Rivers and the shining forces of the Tairens and Ghealdanians and the valiant soliders fighting under the banner of Andor – those men and women of the Borderlands who gave their last gasping breath to hold the Shadow at bay – those brave men like Hurin who had no great strength or mighty magic, but did what they knew to be right. Olver, crying in the shadows and being clawed at by the hands of evil and feeling abandonded by all…calling forth the forces of the Horn of Valere and realizing that he had not been abandonded. Someone came back for him and rescued him from the heart of darkness…oh Light be praised! And yes, there were many mighty heroes performing great deads on the battlefield – oh to see Lan Mandragoran riding on his mighty steed through the Trolloc hordes to reach the champion of evil – Demandred himself – and then sheathe the sword in order to crush the life from the mighty general of the Dark. I loved reading the exploits of these great heroes…Mat, Egwene, Elayne, Galad, Tam al’Thor, Perrin, Aviendha, Thom Merrillin…but in the end, the most thrilling and heart-swelling moments for me were reading of the ordinary men and women who were not valiant warriors or great heroes or wielders of great Power…those who fought and died for the Light. Androl, weakest of the weak – and yea, he fought. Talmanes, dying from the poison of a Thakan’dar wrought blade – and yea, he fought. Aviendha, crippled and dying and moments from death – and yea, she fought. The men of the Two Rivers, without arrows and with little hope of survival – charged the enemy just to salvage what hope there was left. The Dragonsworn who stood before Darkhounds at the very Pit of Doom in order to protect the last hope of the Light…

I feel I’ve already gone on to long, but reading of the great struggle of the Light versus the Dark and seeing the fight of the ordinary men and women in the Last Battle struck me powerfully and I wanted to share that with y’all. I’m looking forward to reading these again someday, but now, I will take a little more time simply to reflect and enjoy the memories this series has left me with. Light, but it’s been a good run, my friends!!

And a few more words…it is good indeed to read fun books like the Wheel of Time – truly, some of my favorite books I’ve ever read, and I can forsee they’re ones I will read often over again these next few years – and it is good to see the hope and the light that is in these works – pale reflections of the true Light of the Lamb of God, Jesus Christ, but light nonetheless! Just remember that we serve a real God, one who is mighty and sovereign and the true Creator…and One who loves us. Peace, my friends.

Light and peace and that
gorgeous brilliant
gleam of hope,
Kiss your brothers
and your mother
and your father
as we go dancing onward to that
final home.

Rest in peace and
live in light and
look to the hopeful
stars above
and be e’er embraced
by Jesus
our Lord
our Love.

Whisper of Heaven

I decided to write a brief few words even as my belly growls for lunch here – I’ll use my hunger to drive me on to pen my thoughts before giving in and going downstairs for a sandwich. At Books and Beans right now this cold and rainy day and delighting in the warmth and light inside here as I’ve been relaxing this morning(now afternoon!). Been reading a bit, as well as doing some miscellaneous computer and internet errands and soon enough, time to brave the wet city and hop over to Rosie and David’s for Rosie’s birthday tea…and then later this afternoon, Chris and Jo and I are off to see the Hobbit again!! Of course me and Maryanne and Mom already saw it, but it will be awesome to be with Chris and Jo and just enjoy the beauty of Middle Earth once again…

And I feel like I should be writing more than this, because really – this is a rather short update thus far, but what shall I write? Ah, I know – I’ve been reading through Mark lately(such a great book! I think it has some of the most hilarious lines in any of the gospels. Particularly relating to the disciples’ interactions with Jesus…they’re so silly sometimes(Mark 8:16!)…and then I realize they really don’t differ from us at all. We’re all just as weak and dim-witted most of the time, so then it simply comforts me that Jesus still loves us and holds us close to Himself nonetheless(or should I say – all the more!!). Anyways what was I saying? Ah yes, Mark. Anyways, for some reason the past few days I’ve been reading Mark 13 over and over again. If you’ll recall, this is the chapter talking about the Last Days and the return of Christ to this earth in all His glory. I think my heart has been especially yearning for this Day recently…partly as I read my yummy book A Memory of Light as it describes a fictional End of Days and this makes me think of the true Day of the Lord when our Christ comes back to this earth…and it will be dark and glorious and epic and fiery and lo – the end of this present age. And lo – the beginning of the reign of Jesus Christ, King of kings and Lord of lords! Him who will reign forever, whose kingdom will have no end!

Anyways, let me share a few verses that have struck me recently(all in Mark 13- you can read the whole chapter to see them all in the context of Jesus explaining to His disciples something we should all long to know more about)..

When you hear of wars and rumours of wars, do not be frightened;
those things must take place; but that is not yet the end.
For nation will rise up against nation, and kingdom against kingdom;
there will be earthquakes in various places; there will also be famines.
These things are merely the beginning of birth pangs…

…And then if anyone says to you, ‘Behold, here is the Christ’;
or, ‘Behold He is there’; do not believe him; for false Christs
and false prophets will arise, and will show signs and wonders,
in order to lead astray, if possible, the elect.
But take heed; behold, I have told you everything in advance.

But in those days, after that tribulation, the sun will be darkened
and the moon will not give its light, and the stars will be falling from heaven,
and the powers that are in the heavens will be shaken.
Then they will see
the Son of Man
coming in clouds with
great power and glory.
And then He will send forth the angels,
and will gather together His elect from the four winds,
from the farthest end of the earth to the farthest end of heaven…

And those words do stir my soul – let us all be eagerly looking to the coming of our Lord – let us be on the alert! Let us be longing for this most terrible and most glorious day!!

And now on that awesome note, it is time for a humble lunch. Ham and cheese panini and salad I think? Going to hop downstairs and order that and then maybe read a bit more this morning(er..afternoon I mean). Peace, y’all!

A Memory of Light

For those of you uninformed and slightly curious, the above title references the book by the same name…the *last* book of the Wheel of Time series – which comes out this next week. I remember starting the series when George Lebo lent me the first book oh so many years ago…(ok, maybe not that long ago – 2008, I think)…anyway, it’s been a good run and I’m a bit sad to see the end come. I will try and slow my usual frenetic reading pace down and savor this last one. I’ll still probably finish it in a week – curse me and my quick reading abilities!! And maybe Laura will hurry up and finish up the preceding books sometime this year so she can read this one! (You know I love you, Laura!!)

Just now, sitting in Books and Beans(for the second time in three days!!) and as my coffee slowly gets cold, I think it’s almost time for lunch, but I wanted to write a little bit first! I’ve been doing my normal Saturday morning routine…reading(Psalms 59-60, Proverbs 5 and some more of 2 Samuel! Absalom is currently being a punk and David is hiding out…may I always have his attitude when persecuted/downtrodden! When Abishai wanted to decapitate the guy that was cursing David, David said, “Let him alone and let him curse…Perhaps the LORD will look on my affliction and return good to me instead of his cursing this day.”) and also have been having online time(checking on bank accounts and the all-important facebook..as well as trying to find a way to watch the Redskins/Seahawks playoff game Sunday night! Looks like my best bet may be to listen to it on BBC Radio 5…)

And I really am hungry, so I want to get a sandwich. First though…

Time and space and interwoven footprints in the snow,
the young man tilts his head and smiles and ponders,
and thinks of flickering fires and fragrant hot cocoa
and whispers of the violin
and his dream wanders…

Soaring rhythm accompanies lilting steps of heels upon the well-worn tiles
and eyes of sea-swept grey dip and gaze into sparkling eyes of richest caramel
and the dance of the heavens proceeds on unimpeded by the smaller cares,
and the music of the stars dazzles with the bliss of its perfect harmonies,
and sweetness as of raspberries and chocolate and honey swirling in the tea
and beauty as the sun twirling her skirts of cloud into the blue of the sea.

And his thoughts wander
ever towards that whisper of heaven,
and he thinks of cobblestone streets and sun’s gentle warmth
and the strums of that achingly perfect song in his soul,
dreams and well-loved pages and scarf tugged snug in the snow.

A Sprig of Parsley

And a Merry Christmas Eve to you all!! I sit here as the fettuccine is beginning to boil on the stove. The salad is made and dished out and soon enough the family shall be sitting around the table about to celebrate the wondrous love of our God and Father and the Most Holy Spirit and Jesus Christ – the Messiah and our Saviour!

While it has been a most dazzling few days behind me, days of catching up with Dad and Mom and Maryanne and Laura and moments of utmost bliss sprinkled throughout the pain and sorrows that come with living in a weary and sorrowful world. Yet shrink not back do we from that ancient foe, that serpent of old – nay, we celebrate this day of Christmas as the day when God was born a Man – the Seed of woman and the Son of God. This Child was born and truly was it proclaimed – ‘Glory to God in the highest! And peace on earth to men upon whom His favour rests!’ And this Jesus was sent to this world to reconcile the shattered form of mankind to Himself and to herald the time when He would once and for all crush the dragon’s head – that devil and father of lies.

And this Messiah was born on this world as the most lowly child so that the love of God might be proclaimed in all the world – Joy to the world! The Lord is come! Let earth receive her King! And that love of God – so blissful, so sweet, so achingly beautiful – is proclaimed to us abundantly. Hear the call of the King! The Most Almighty God gave us the most shockingly lavish gift of all time – that gift of His Son Jesus, the Anointed One of God. This very God died so that we could come to Him in humble and broken adoration – this Jesus has died for the very forgiveness of our sins. What wonder! What hope! What love! Hear the cry of the King! Hear how he weeps for those who are lost and broken and in utter and complete darkness. Hear the trumpets of the heavens, the songs of the stars! Hear the chorus of the angels as they sing praises to our God! Hear the cry of our King!

A chorus of stars and angels high,
A dance of lovers in midnight sky,
A song of bliss and sparkling mirth –
A sigh of praises – oh God’s own birth!

Resurrection

So sleepily I slowly put my fingers to the keyboard this eve, as I would like to share at least a little of the beauty I’ve been enraptured by. I’m feeling a little bit sick(no, must fight this off!!), but enjoyed a beautiful spaghetti dinner while watching some classic Band of Brothers. Once that finished, been reading the book of Matthew and oh – loving it so! You should really just read it for yourself to experience the glory of Jesus…but I’ll just share a bit of my favorite before I get ready for bed(it’s not even 10 on a Friday night! I am shamed).

So the “religious” Sadducees are trying to make Jesus admit the ridiculousness of life-after-death by spinning a tale of a woman marrying seven brothers, each as the previous one dies. They pose the question – so whose wife will she be in the resurrection? They sneer, seeing no way Jesus can answer this without admitting the absurdity of the resurrection. Oh how wrong they are.

But Jesus answered and said to them,
“You are mistaken, not understanding
the Scriptures nor the power of God.
For in the resurrection they neither
marry nor are given in marriage, but
are like angels in heaven.

But regarding the resurrection of the dead,
have you not read what was spoken to you by God:
‘I AM THE GOD OF ABRAHAM, AND THE GOD OF ISAAC,
AND THE GOD OF JACOB.’?

He is not the God of the dead but of the living.”

And the Sadducees are quiet. And the crowd marvels.

Truly, how good these words are to my soul! When we doubt God or fear Him not, thinking that surely there can not be an all-powerful God in this messed up universe of ours…we are then gravely mistaken. Not understanding the Word that God has given us through His prophets and His Son nor acknowledging His power which we see every moment through the marvels of creation that surround us! And our God is not the God of fevered imagination or vain poetry, nay. He is not the God of the dead. And well this is, for then grim would our future be! He is our God, now and forever. When we live in this dark and bloody world, He is with us. When the day comes that we breathe our last and our mortal flesh withers, He gathers us into His arms. He is with us. We shall never die the final death, but instead, we shall live with our God and Father. Forever. Hallelujah!

And apparently I am slightly less sleepy than I thought! But still, time to get ready for bed, methinks. Have a sweet night, my friends!! Sleep well!

Music of the Heart

Just a few words…oh so beautiful!

When my heart was embittered
and I was pierced within,
then I was senseless and ignorant;
I was like a beast before You.

Nevertheless I am continually with You.
You have taken hold of my right hand.
With Your counsel You will guide me,
and afterward receive me to glory.

Whom have I in heaven but You?
And besides You, I desire nothing on earth.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
But God is the strength of my heart
and my portion
forever.

And now as my heart is full and my tongue has no more words…I will return to my delicately crafted spinach salad and rejoice this night. Farewell, y’all!

Love and peace.

Hawkeyes

Currently in Starbucks, even though it’s a bit late in the afternoon. My feet are itching to leave and enjoy the sunlight!

But I did want to write a few words – you’re not complaining, right? I got a couple new CDs that I ordered today, listening to one of them now – such gorgeous and heart-enlivening music!! I’m so excited that I can’t help but share them with you. Once you see the track list, you’ll understand why I love them so. Listening right now to And Can it Be sung by thousands of voices…oh for that glorious day where we all shall sing together to our Lord Jesus Christ forever and ever and ever and ever. And ever. Amazing love, how can it be that thou my God shouldst die for me????


1. Praise God from Whom All Blessings Flow
2. Praise the Lord, Ye Heavens Adore Him
3. A Debtor to Mercy Alone
4. Hallelujah, What a Saviour
5. Mercies Anew
6. Before the Throne of God Above
7. Come Thou Almighty King
8. Immortal, Invisible
9. Like a River Glorious
10. The Look
11. I will Glory in My Redeemer
12. Rock of Ages, Cleft for Me

And if that isn’t enough…the live album from Together for the Gospel 2008.


1. A Mighty Fortress is our God
2. It is Well with my Soul
3. How Firm a Foundation
4. Oh the Deep, Deep Love of Jesus
5. Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing
6. How Deep the Father’s Love for Us
7. How Sweet and Aweful is the Place
8. My Hope is Built on Nothing Less
9. I will Glory in my Redeemer
10. Arise, my soul, Arise
11. The Power of the Cross
12. My Song is Love Unknown
13. And Can It Be
14. There Is a Fountain Filled with Blood
15. Before the Throne of God Above
16. In Christ Alone

So yeah. Couldn’t help but share.

And listening to these songs now, how my heart is encouraged and my soul is lifted up! I have had a long and weary week, full of trials. My heart has been burdened and my soul downcast. Yet now as I praise my God in song and thought…there is such a peace in my heart. A peace that surpasses all comprehension. Oh how blessed are we. I seriously am so overwhelmed by the goodness of my Lord in granting me such peace and encouragement this afternoon. If I could weep…

So last night as I came home from work tired and discouraged, I decided to go for a run in the crisp autumn air as the sun gloriously set. That was definitely much enjoyed! Afterwards had a sweet talk with Dad and then showered before my dinner of frozen pizza and spinach salad(ok, maybe not the most elaborate dinner, but it sure tasted good!!).

Now this morning was sadly filled up with being at work and trying to keep the reins steady on my wildly careening project. Thankfully was only there about four hours and now I’m here at Starbucks(could not give up my Saturday Starbucks!). Been here for a couple hours now and really should be leaving soon…but no, a few more words. These songs(now listening to Before the Throne of God Above) are seriously amazingly powerful. I’m…a bit emotional listening to them. Just finishing reading a letter from Mom, too – received very timely today! Oh what a joy to read the six pages from her. Oh joy, oh bliss. Love you, Mom!! 🙂

Now my peppermint mocha is a bit cold, so it must be about time to go. And my CD is on the last song(In Christ Alone). It must be a sign.

Farewell, all. Grace and love and peace. Hope in the Lord. Sing and dance and wonder at what amazing love we are blessed with so. Peace.

A cloud floats free from filmy sea to frozen sky,
Rainbow croons of crimson peace and truest glory,
An apple tree blossoms white in silent beauty,
And upon the land a song of love is lifted.

Blood so perfect, blood so true,
How oh how could Christ love us so?
Story written, love anew –
Glories and wonders and beauty!
Prince of Peace and Lord of Lords
King Almighty and He Who Will Reign Forever,
Song of my heart and Poem of my soul,
Jesus my God.