Her blonde hair spills messily
down over her face
as her pen flies furiously
across the page,
red ink flowing strong
red ink flowing true
as her thoughts and her dreams
and her heart sings aloud
oh I ponder and I wonder
what now shall I write
for surely my love’s
nothing if not true
in this most star kissed night
so what shall I give you?
and the candle burns tall
over the mantel
and her leather notebook smells
of hopes sparking alive
and the fullness of night
caresses her face.
And cross-legged on the bed,
crumpled quilt beneath her
what formerly gave comfort
now lies strewn in ruins
of red text across the flickering
laptop screen
and her heart weeps aloud
oh I ponder and I wonder
what now shall I write
for the groans of my love
are surely not true
in the horrors of night
so what can I give you?
and the candle whispers
visions of fire and smoke
and her writings portend
nothing but glimmerings
of doubt
and the depths of the night
bring tears to her eyes.
She pushes her hair over her ears
with a sigh of despair
as the red ink slowly spills out
from the pen dangled between her fingers
and I ponder and I wonder
what more can I write
if my love isn’t true
in the remnants this night
so what am I to you?
the candle slowly gutters
not much more light left now
the nighttime is full
of dreams and regrets
but she sees a glimmer of light
seeping between the blinds
and I ponder and I wonder
how can I not write
for the love that is true
and the love that I’ve known
for I’ve known true love
and true love has known me
and I crawl across the bed
and twirl the blinds open
wider.
Author: James Hogan
Tales from 2AM
Chilling at Starbucks. Yup. Not going to write long, but figured may as well since I’m here!! My day has been relatively(slightly) productive thus far…had a deacons meeting at 730 this morning, then I made my way over here where I’ve been working like a madman…trying to get music playlists in order. Yes, very important business. I admit, it is somewhat hilarious how much I enjoy this. Right now, though I’m struggling mightily as I have four different playlists I’m working on nigh simultaneously. A bit over-ambitious that. A dance mix(sourced from Robbie on our trip last weekend), *another* dance mix(more chill/trance really), a musical mix(Les Mis, Wicked, Rent &…Hamilton!?) and then a more “normal” mix that is a mess and I’ve sort of abandoned for the moment. Anyways – the struggle. And then one of the hardest parts is to come up with a properly epic and just-pretentious-enough album title. OH the joys.
Enough of that though! Planning on seeing Peter pretty soon – going to meet for lunch…somewhere? And then going to hang out with Earnie tonight. It shall be fantastic, that I declare. Last night was beautifully quiet…didn’t really get reading done(well – did read a bit of Owen at EQ – less than 80 pages to go!) but I enjoyed watching Rocky II with my dinner. Forgot how awesome that movie is. Stayed up a bit too late. Alas.
Now though…time to roll. And continue my weird music playlist obsession. I just realised I actually have FIVE playlists I’m working on. Forgot my Anberlin/Owl City/Panic! one I’ve just started. Again – yes, I’m a mess.
Peace, y’all. Peace and love.
A staggering And most Achingly perfect Montage produced To most Dazzling effect
Besides, faith itself, as acted on the death of Christ, hath a peculiar efficacy
unto the subduing of sin: for, “beholding” him thereby “as in a glass, we are
changed into the same image,” 2 Cor. iii. 18; and that which we peculiarly
behold, we are peculiarly transformed into the likeness of. And, moreover,
it is the only means whereby we actually derive from Christ the benefits of
our union with Him. From thence we have all grace, or there is no such
thing in the world; and the communication of it unto us is in and by the
actual exercise of faith principally. So it being acted with respect unto
His death, we have grace for the killing of sin, and thereby become
dead with Him,
crucified with Him,
buried with Him,
as in the testimonies before produced.
This is that which we call the application of the death of Christ unto us,
or our application of ourselves to the death of Christ for the
mortification of sin.
-John Owen, Works, Vol III, p 563
Dear Vienna
Hello friends!! It’s been a bit too long since I’ve written a proper update…my apologies! And I can’t even promise that this will be a decent one, seeing as it’s Tuesday morning and I’m sleepy(albeit in possession of peppermint mocha) and eventually need to get started catching up on work. But…we shall see. Anyways! Main purpose of this post is to chronicle this past weekend’s epic adventures…in Colorado! But even better than getting to visit and explore a new state was hanging out with Robbie! I hadn’t seen him since his wedding(yay Natasha!) late last year. And obviously, it being his wedding and all, we didn’t have a ton of time to hang out then either! But this weekend was a wonderful time to actually be with Robbie and also do some pretty awesome things. But right – I should stop rambling and actually describe the vacation a bit. Flew out Saturday morning and landed in Denver…whereupon since I had a few hours to kill before Robbie arrived, I took the train into the city centre and…as one does, I found a sweet book store(Tattered Cover). Because I was a bit exhausted(from long week previous and just waking up early to pack and go to airport…), I decided I needed a triple-shot of espresso…naturally. Drank that and read some of my Wendell Berry book in the book store for an hour or so(speaking of, I really do need to eventually log the last four books I’ve read. Next time). Still had some time before Robbie was set to arrive so I walked around Denver a bit in the scorching heat(96 degrees seriously!?!). Finally – he texted me that he had landed so I walked back to train station to meet him. While waiting, watched a bit of the Russia/Croatia quarterfinal…which is where Robbie found me when he arrived! We greeted each other quickly then decided we needed to find a proper place to watch the game(it had just gone into extra time!). We found a pub nearby, got lunch and then watched the rest of the game(surrounded by many fans of Croatia, evidenced by the yelling!). Croatia did end up victorious on penalties. So the last four of the World Cup is France, Belgium, England & Croatia. Europa invicta! I’m very torn on who to root for…France for Julie’s sake or England for Robbie’s? I really don’t know what I shall do if they meet in finals. Of course with my luck…will probably end up being Belgium v Croatia. Anyways right…watching the World Cup in pub with Robbie…doesn’t get much better than that!! We reminisced about the last time we watched a World Cup game together…in a bar in Boston four years ago!! Guess we shall have to make plans for 2022 as well then…to continue this glorious tradition.
So…this entry is already far too long and I’ve gotten barely a few hours into the trip! I shall have to accelerate and compress. Following the game, me and Robbie made our way to our hotel. We checked in and set out bags down, then explored Denver a bit more! Walked past the capitol building and some park…then discovered the true prize – a sweet used book store! We perused the offerings there for a while, although I held strong and bought no books. I do love used book stores though…just standing in the midst of the stacks…the possibilities are endless and hope is supreme, for one never knows what gem may be sitting on the shelves…
We did eventually tear ourselves away from the books and walked back, through a thunderstorm nonetheless! Dinner was at a delicious ramen place and following…well, we were in a board game mood because Robbie had been talking about this fun game that everyone in his church had been addicted to this past year or so. We looked up board game stores in Denver and made our way to the nearest one, thinking maybe we’d find this game at the store and he would buy it. Well…this “board game store” actually ended up being a place where you play board games! They had a whole wall full of games and then tables strewn throughout so you could play with your friends. I…didn’t even know they had places like this. Well, wonder of wonders, they actually had this epic strategy game Robbie had been talking about! So instead of having to buy it, we were able to sit down and play it right there! The game is called Scythe – and it’s basically a strategy game set in alt-history early 20th century Europe. What does that even mean? Well…you have farms and mines and workers…and you try and complete certain objectives…oh yeah and you also have mechs. Glorious. So I played as Russia and Robbie played as the Norse and even though I had no idea what I was doing, when we called the game half-way through(because it was almost midnight and really it was time to go!) I somehow won?? I still have no idea what I was doing…but playing with Robbie was super fun. Epic strategy gaming – that’s how we holiday.
Got to the hotel super late…but next morning we couldn’t sleep too late as Sunday was our hiking day!! And really I’m running out of time so I shan’t describe the whole day in detail(thank goodness right??), but we drove out west of Denver to…what I think was technically part of Rocky Mountain National Park – or near enough anyway. We had been researching various trails and because we hadn’t exactly had an early start, wouldn’t have time for any of the really challenging ones. But we hiked what is known as “Jim’s Creek Trail” and it was gorgeous. Again…it’s hard to put to words how it felt to just be hiking through the woods and enjoying the beauty of a vigorous hike up hills and over streams and clambering up muddy slopes and through it all being surrounded by the wondrous beauty of God’s creation. Pretty much the whole hike was next to the creek and so we were able to hear the water running and tumbling and singing throughout our walk…and eventually when we decided to eat our prosciutto and cheese sandwiches, we did so upon what I dubbed Picnic Rock, a massive rock that was just perfect for a mid-hike lunch. And so eventually we turned around and hiked back the way we had come…and for some reason, probably due to the clean air and lovely walk, I was more energized than ever as we completed our hike. As we made our way to the exit, Robbie and I had fun singing some of our favourite songs…think we were singing “Oh Come All Ye Faithful” when we broke from the trees at the end! Oh how wonderful it is to have have a dear friend like Robbie.
And…really I must go now. The rest of the trip shall have to go untold…but it involved much more fun adventures, including listening to fun dance music as we drove through the wonderfully mountainous terrain, me introducing Robbie to Torchy’s Tacos…and more walking around Denver and exploring…visiting another bookstore(in which I did succumb to temptation and buy a couple books!) and more of what I have really left out up til now – the best part of this trip was obviously all the many conversations Robbie and I shared…talking about deep things, talking about our lives, talking about the state of the world(global socioeconomics, Canadian & American politics, etc, etc!), talking about the glories of God and what He has been doing in our lives…and then talking about what all guys end up talking about – girls obviously! – Natasha for him and then any “possibilities” for me…as we do eh? So truly I am grateful for the glorious weekend that we shared. It is obviously fun to explore a new city and it is of course beautiful to hike through gorgeous countryside and it is always good and proper to enjoy so much delicious food when you’re on holiday…but the truest and most treasured part of this trip was the many deep talks Robbie and myself had. Even being able to end a night together reading a Psalm. What is better than that? Not much. So if you’ve read all this(*applauds*), thank you, but most of all I hope you get a sense of my gratitude to my Father God for how He has blessed me so. I am deeply loved.
Peace and love, forever and always.
Fireside
Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light
Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one
Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise
Thou mine inheritance, now and always
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart
High King of heaven, my Treasure Thou art
High King of heaven, my victory won
May I reach heaven’s joys, O bright heav’n’s Sun
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all
Courage, Dear Heart
Happy Thursday, friends!! It is a nice evening thus far…and soon I shall proceed onto the dinner portion of the night. But now, let me write just very few words. Mostly I’m writing because I’ve gotten a bit behind on my book logging and thus…here are a few I’ve read lately(honestly I’ve finished all four of these in the past week, so I’m not that far behind!!):
14. Power, Sex, Suicide: Mitochondria and the Meaning of Life by Nick Lane. Alright, so a brief preamble. That title(and the shockingly pink cover!) are extremely attention-grabbing and lurid…but the contents of the book are a bit more dry. (And fantastic!) I’d been in a science-y mood lately for some reason…and I’ve always been fascinated by cell biology and energy generation in the cell, ever since AP Bio back in the day I guess? I’ve been meaning to find a educational work on this subject for a while now and finally a few months ago, found this on Amazon and thought – why not? It’s probably a bit too technical and dry for a casual read, but I much enjoyed it. Yes – once again proving I’m a nerd. *takes a bow* It gave a fascinating overview of mitochondria and then delved into its (speculated) origins and (perceived) functions in the eukaryotic cell and thus in the majority of life on earth. While this book is coming from a very obviously secular perspective, I was awed again and again by the rich and gorgeous complexity of the inner workings of the mitochondria. And I was a bit surprised – but maybe I shouldn’t have been? – to see how much of the research cited in this book was relatively recent…we are still learning so much about life!! And again and again the author made disclaimers to say that what he was discussing wasn’t known for a certainty, but something that he strongly believed was likely. Sometimes we laymen think that all in the scientific realm has been rigorously proven and defined, sure without a shadow of a doubt. But nay – there is surely much uncertainty and much that is unknown. The origin of the eukaryotic cell is something we can’t with confidence deduce! I say all these words just to underline the fact that this world in which we live is swimming with wonderfully complex and intricate forms…and these endless forms most beautiful are not fully known by any of us who live on this gorgeous earth. But they are known by their Creator. And that – the fact that there is a Creator – is something that was most definitely not stated in this book, but it was something which I was richly reminded of as I was stunned anew on almost every page by the utterly fascinating facts contained in this book.
15. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis. Mm, this book. Well a few weeks ago, I was in a reading mood. And I wanted to read something (fairly) light and also warm and encouraging. The problem is…my current books at that time were my mitochondria book and Owen. So…yeah. I perused my shelf and as my eyes passed across Narnia…I couldn’t resist. I don’t want to talk too much about the Narnia series now (because I could go on far too long!), and while there are certain pitfalls contained in this series – which I will most certainly not go into now! – the beauty and truth in this series are profound. There are few authors who can express as much in as few words as Lewis. This first book I shall not give a full review of, except to say it is a wondrous introduction into a wonderful world. Read and weep.
16. Prince Caspian by C.S. Lewis. Sensing a theme here? Caspian is a wonderful book and reading it reminded me of when I read it long ago as a child. I enjoyed it just as much now as then…if not more so. The mark of a truly great book, I think. The introduction of some great characters in this one…namely…Reepicheep the Mouse! And I guess Caspian himself is ok too. Peter, Susan, Edmund & Lucy all return and once again…some profound truths in this book. I have tried to type out some of those truths several times in this paragraph and have failed miserably, so I will not continue as I am not Lewis. But will mention the section when Lucy meets up with the Lion and discovers what she must do regardless of the cost…beautiful. If only we all were so conscious of the great worth and joy of obedience.
17. The Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis. I sometimes hesitate to say it as the first four Narnia books are all spectacular…but if I had to pick, this is my very favourite. Eustace Scrubb, my favorite character in Narnia. The dragon sequence. The voyage on the sea, in beauty and peril both. The random and spectacular various islands discovered in their adventure. The interactions between Eustace, Edmund, Lucy, Caspian, Reepicheep, et. al…and then the reaching of the End of the World and the glimpse into Aslan’s country…I cannot properly describe this book and I shall not try for fear that I will spoil it for the rest of you. It is beautiful. In the darkest shadows and absence of all light, there is yet Hope. As I texted my friend last night as I finished this book, “…it’s a simply lovely book, with truth that reflects a greater Truth and beauty that reflects a truer Beauty.”
You will notice I have of purpose kept my summation of these books fairly brief as you really need to read these yourself to understand why they are marvelous. Lewis’s work is most definitely not for everyone, as his intermixing of myth and legend and very Truth is something that may be off-putting to some. And when reading, we must be very careful to beware the sin of idolatry…for truly, Aslan is not Christ and his words are not God’s Words. But there is something here that warms my heart as I think on the true far country for which my heart longs. There is something in these pages that spurs me on to love and great deeds as I ponder my duty to the God whose son I am. There is something in these books that reminds me of the great love which fills my heart – through the work of the Holy Spirit – because of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ Himself for us. Remind yourself of these truths and meditate on the love of Christ. Abide in Him and all shall be well. Thus sings my soul.
A Matter of Honour
I may or may not have stayed up slightly too late last night. It was worth it though…reading second Narnia book – Prince Caspian – and so obviously had to finish that! Now though…I’m a bit sleepy and it’s going to be interesting to see how this day goes. (Actually, it’s going to be a pretty interesting week in general…and not the good kind. Alas. God is sovereign, thankfully!) Still, I’m looking forward to enjoying the goodness of the Lord this week. It is well with my soul.
Sons of Scotland
About to head out from Starbucks, but Saturday post is deserved! It’s been a nice morning…got to sleep in a bit, and then as I started drinking my coffee, realised there was a World Cup game on! So got to watch the Argentina/Iceland game, which was a beautiful game and in which Iceland shockingly managed a draw!! Go Iceland!! I really don’t have any other country I’m rooting for…no America…no Scotland…no Ireland…so really I’m just hoping for good games and beautiful football. That’s my sports news of the morning! Later today, going to meet up with Julie – going to be fun to hear all about her recent France trip. And will just be good to see her again, since it’s been so long!! Later this afternoon…going over to meet up with Earnie, then we’ll go downtown to see the Scotland/USA rugby match YES. I am honestly slightly torn who to root for(yes, I am a terrible American). It’s probably good I don’t have a Scotland rugby top or I would probably wear it. So that shall be tonight and I’m psyched. Oh right – and last night was fun too…Erica and Meagan came over and we had a lovely time of dinner – Chinese take-out for the easy Friday night dinner win – and chat and laughing and finally movie watching – yay Jumanji which never ceased to make us laugh…haven’t laughed that much in a while!! – and yeah it was just a very fantastic chill Friday night with friends. My favourite kind. Now I should probably get some errands done and then maybe if I feel like it clean my room a bit. We shall see. I’ve also been meaning to write something for a while – these past few months have been shockingly poor in terms of poetry output!! – but I feel super antsy now(probably the espresso..) and so definitely not staying here in Starbucks any longer to write. Sorry not sorry.
Now I’m off, friends. Have a gorgeous day – delight in the Lord! Peace and love.
Always Summer and Never Christmas
Happy Friday, friends!! It has been a most busy and (at times) stressful week…but it is finally rolling to an end, thanks be to God. This day may yet be relaxing(but it is early yet, so no promises). I’m wearing my Aberdeen football top today in honour of first full day of World Cup games!! Alas for the States being inept and not even qualifying…so I’m not even sure who I’m pulling for? Maybe Iceland. I’m not sure if I can stomach going for England, but we’ll see. Any other news? Not really – my life is honestly not that exciting lately! Tonight Erica and Meagan coming over for a chill dinner/movie night with me and John. Tomorrow going to see Scotland v. USA rugby match, which will be phenomenal!! Been quite a few years since I saw a rugby match…would have been back in Aberdeen!
Now, I shall continue enjoying my peppermint mocha(courtesy of Katie, with whom I had a great catch-up chat earlier this morning!) and rejoice in the beauty of the day. Peace and love, dear friends.
Perseverance of the Saints
Morning, friends!! I shan’t stay long on the computer now…but I sit here at Starbucks after having enjoyed my espresso and I realised that I’m a bit behind in sharing my music mixes! So figured I’d catch up (a little bit – still 2 more after this to record!) and share one I made back before Christmas last year. This morning though…it was simply fantastic to sleep in! Then enjoyed my breakfast of coffee and sausages as I watched the French Open final…Simona Halep of Romania won…very deservedly so and I was quite happy to see her win her first Slam!! Tomorrow won’t be able to watch the men’s final since I’ll be at church….but go Rafa! King of Clay. Shooting for French Open title..11 I think? Ridiculous. My fav men’s tennis player of all time, simply for his determination and craft and fiery passion for the game!!
Now…I did mean to share this music mix did I not?? This mix is a bit weird…reflective of me, of course. I’ve long been wanting to do another dance CD – and I’ve been extremely happy with how this one turned out. It’s actually been in my car music rotation ever since I burned it, which is very much indicative of my love for this music. Is it weird crazy discotheque-esqe music? Absolutely yes. And sometimes…it’s fun to just enjoy the beat of some quality dance tunes, despite the quality(or lack thereof!) of the lyrics!! So don’t take this mix as a thing of pure light and purer beauty….but just for the silly fun club music it is. With these many disclaimers aside….let me present…Club West:
1. A+ Superstar – Basslovers United
2. Gonna Paint the Town – Camera X
3. I’m All Yours – Cruise Controllerz
4. I Wanna Dance with Somebody – The Cube Guys, Barbara Tucker
5. No Cover Song – Deep Spirit feat. Kathy
6. The Promiseland – DJ Gollum feat. DJ Cap
7. We Like to Party – Dj Roxx
8. Lost in the Discotheque – Empyre One
9. 21st Century Digital Girl – Groove Coverage
10. Let Me Be Your Girl – Kompulsor
11. Masterpiece – Manuel Lauren
12. Touch the Stars – RaveBass
13. We Got the Beat – Sonictunez
14. Keys in Tokyo – Stepa K
15. Tonight – Tomtrax & Orca
16. Takin’ Me High – Withard & Juve Presents Sonera
17. Gonna Be So Happy – Megastylez
18. Shooting Stars – Tribune
19. You – Special D.
20. Forever – Sunray & Phillerz
Classic. Let’s dance it up, y’all. Such a fun mix, already have two more playlists similar to it that I’m currently building!!
Now…time to step out into the sunshine and further enjoy the lovingkindnesses of the Lord this day that He has made.
Peace and love, dear friends.