This is definitely one of those sleepy mornings, I have decided. Firstly I’m behind schedule – definitely slept a bit longer than I would have liked! – then I roll up to Starbucks and see Jake there…who is also very much behind his own schedule…then I talk to Emily & Deniz at the counter and they tell me they barely opened on time since one of them(who shall remain nameless…but his name starts with D) slept in and didn’t get to Starbucks until 15 min before open. So yeah, it’s one of those days apparently!! I am about to take my first sip of coffee all morning and it shall be glorious. Since I didn’t have much time this morning, decided not to even heat up my coffee so no – I am currently decaffeinated. I am grateful that I was granted a bare few minutes to read though – Psalm 101 & 102. Encouraging to read the Word of the Lord this morning, that I cannot deny. Now…figured I’d post a poem I’ve been working on. It’s a bit rare for me to post one that I’ve worked on for multiple days – a slow burn of a creative process on this one, to be sure. Honestly, I’m still not really happy with it, but…I may very well never be? So going to post it now, maybe I’ll tweak it later, who knows. Also posting because I did get someone else’s somewhat positive feedback. Meagan read it and enjoyed…but she also freely confessed that she doesn’t know poetry well…still though, I much appreciated her even reading it!! I asked what emotional response it provoked and her response was, “numbness and then longing that comes from a pensive evening walk.” You know what? I’ll take that. But let me stop my rambling discourse…and post this mess of a poem. Thanks for reading, friends.
What to do and what to say Hear now grim creation’s lay Dripping of doom and triumph both The sneering triumph too hollow to make up for the sure doom to follow.
And as the whirring gears and humming motors and all the churning, teeming waves of faceless voices create a most delightful dissonance,
a break in time and space does rupture and in that moment for a moment the screens go black, and red blinking lights go dim and all the glories of half told stories tumble to the dust.
for I soft gasp in sorrow as I stand atop the silent cliff, starkly still, and cold I shiver but outward and upward and onward I look and shaking I see the singing sea and the star strewn skies shock my shattered soul.
Flesh and blood and skin and bones, now creation waits and groans and with in-drawn breath and widened, frightened eyes softly, oh so softly cries.
I have decided it is not quite time to leave Starbucks yet. So…bonus post!! As I am still oh so far behind in posting my mix playlists…I figured I better try and catch up! This is a mix I came up with earlier this year – back in March I believe. It was one of those mixes that came together remarkably quickly. Just like my best poetry, my best mixes are the ones composed in a matter of minutes(not days!!). Anyway – this mix is a little bit country and a little bit melancholy. And I love it so. I remember listening to the last few songs the night(believe it was late on a Sunday night?) I made this mix…and feeling a tad bit emotional. But hey, let me stop talking it up…and just post the track list. Humbly I present…Never Again Sighs the Dawn:
1. Nightcall – London Grammar 2. New Partner – Ciaran Lavery 3. The Rooster Moans – Iron & Wine 4. The Stable Song – Gregory Alan Isakov 5. Abrasive – Ratatat 6. Burn – Norah Jones 7. Cherry – Ratatat 8. Roll the Bones – Shakey Graves 9. Where Rainbows Never Die – The Steeldrivers 10. You’ll Never Leave Harlan Alive – Darrell Scott 11. Ghosts of Mississippi – The Steeldrivers 12. The Snake – David Ford 13. If It Hadn’t Been for Love – The Steeldrivers 14. Skin & Bone – Stu Larsen 15. Stone Walls – Three Tall Pines 16. If I Be Wrong – Wolf Larsen
29. They Were Found Wanting by Miklós Bánffy. Book number 2 of the Transylvanian Trilogy (or the Hungarian trilogy – as I call it to my friends!) has been conquered. This one took me a little while to complete, but I did truly want to enjoy it…so not attempting to rush through it. I wrote a pretty decent summary of this trilogy when I talked about book 1, so shan’t repeat that. But this book(as I guess middle books of trilogies are wont to do?) got even more depressing…and the characters are not exactly in the best of places. Will things get better? I’m slightly worried that they may not, especially as the Great War looms even closer now. There was definitely a lot more focus on the European political atmosphere in this book…oh so tragic with hindsight. Oh so blind were oh so many. I am hoping that the characters somehow get to a better place in the third book though. We shall see? Balint, Adrienne, Laszlo…surely things can’t get much worse. But I could most definitely be wrong. After I closed this book on a wonderfully emotional note, I wrote in my little notebook (for I knew I wouldn’t log this for a few days, so wanted to jot my thoughts down while they were hot) the following: “What a wistful, melancholy end. Beautiful. Yet oh so sad.” And there you go. Book 3 awaits. I may not read it for a bit though – want to savour this trilogy. I can only read a book for the first time once.
30. Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card. Ok so yes. This is definitely a re-read. I first Ender’s Game…freshman year of high school, I believe? I had to pick a book for a English I reading project and I grabbed this off the shelf in the media center. It was a most fortuitous choice, for it began my love affair with OSC’s work. All through high school and beyond, I named him as one of my all-time favourite authors. I don’t know if he would rank quite as highly now (simply because I’ve read many more authors since that time!). But I still own multiple of his books (10 or so?) and after reading this, I remembered why I loved him so much. His characters are just amazingly well realized. Almost no author does better in writing full, breathing characters than Card. And it gets even better with the next book in this series – “Speaker for the Dead”. But anyway – I’m talking about Ender’s Game! I’ve read this a few times before, so the plot is a known quantity. But I did forget how imaginative it is. It’s good solid sci-fi…with fun innovations and incredibly cool concepts. And the drama flows hot and heavy. I first read this in high school, so I guess this escaped me then, but I did forget how crude and crass some of the dialog is. I guess kids talk that way sometimes? So I didn’t enjoy those parts quite as much, but once I got past that…I really just fell in love with the book and with Card all over again. This book is quite philosophically sophisticated as well…it’s not just a “good humans defeat evil aliens!” sci-fi novel. Oh no, there’s so much more to it than that…I don’t really want to write out the whole plot here, but I will say that as I finished the book last night – sitting in EQ – I was incredibly satisfied. The whole sequence at the end…with Ender visiting the land of his dreams on a far-away planet…and his subsequent communion with the queen of the race that he destroyed…beautiful and tragic. As the queen communicated to Ender, “They didn’t forgive us – we shall surely die,” my heart nearly broke. And on that note, I’ll end this overly long review. But any book that summons forth such emotions surely deserves my praise.
Now…back to sipping on my coffee here at Starbucks. This Saturday rolls ever on.
Hello friends and happy Saturday!! I did intend to write a nice, long entry today, but I fear it is not to be. I’ve dawdled here in Starbucks long enough and I really must go grab something for lunch soon as well. But must log my latest read(about 4 days late, shocker!):
28. The Mote in God’s Eye by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle. Now this is proper sci-fi. Apparently I just need to read older classic sci-fi, because I greatly loved this book published in 1974. Written in “humanity’s future”, it had a great sweeping history (which I love) and also fun characters (despite the somewhat caricatured Scottish chief engineer!), great hulking battleships, fantastic technological wonders, copious amounts of coffee drinking, actual references to Christianity (which is somewhat rare in science fiction these days…)…and truly alien aliens. It even ended with a wedding (which is also somewhat rare in modern sci-fi!). And of course, the hallmark of all great sci-fi…the exploration of the unknown expanse…while at the same time, the examination of humanity’s psyche. What will man do to preserve his place in the universe? I don’t think I can properly do the plot of this book justice – but just know that I enjoyed it (I think that’s already obvious, no?). It was a fun adventurous romp while at the same time being at least mildly intellectual in nature. The descriptions of space were a wonder to behold and almost gave me the urge to go off gallivanting in space myself. Almost.
Therefore having such a hope, we use great boldness in our speech, and are not like Moses, who used to put a veil over his face so that the sons of Israel would not look intently at the end of what was fading away. But their minds were hardened; for until this very day at the reading of the old covenant the same veil remains unlifted, because it is removed in Christ. But to this day whenever Moses is read, a veil lies over their heart; but whenever a person turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.
Hello from Houston!! (And not hello from New York, where I was just a few hours ago!) I am very deeply tired now(really looking forward to a long night’s sleep!), but wanted to write just a few words while my memories are yet fresh! For yes, I just had a brief one-night vacation in NYC. Random what! Well, exceedingly so, yes. But a few months ago, I was perusing instagram(as one does) and saw that Tarja was doing a few shows in the US. Those of you who don’t know Tarja…she is the original singer of Nightwish, one of my very favourite bands. And if I was forced to choose a favourite singer of theirs(because they’ve had three over the years), I would pick her in a heartbeat. Sadly, I came to Nightwish too late to ever get to see her live with the band. But it’s always been a dream to see her live…but unfortunately her solo career pretty much never brings her to the US. Americans are uncultured and don’t appreciate her, I guess. Anyways though – her voice is oh so gorgeous. And as I saw that she was going to four cities in the US(only four!!), I pondered for a few minutes…then spontaneously decided, “You know what? I may never get the chance to see her again – I’m going to do this.” So booked a ticket for the show in NYC, got a plane ticket…and then started second-guessing myself the next day! But I’m quite glad I did this…really just having a little mini holiday in NYC was brilliant. I had an early flight out of Houston yesterday morning, landed in Newark and then made my way to the city. Had to wait a few hours to check into my hotel and it was very grey and wet and rainy(and cold!), so I hunkered down at a corner deli, had lunch and enjoyed coffee and reading for a few hours. Reading John Flavel’s “All Things Made New” currently – some truly heart-warming and most encouraging words contained therein. How wonderful it is to read of the glories and majesties of Christ!! So yes, even some quiet hours reading old Puritan writings got to be part of my vacation. Lovely.
And eventually…I walked down to my hotel, checked in and dropped my bag off, and then made my way down to Gramercy Theatre…I got there over 3 hours before doors, but I was definitely not first in line! About 20-25 people in front of me. So settled down for the long wait. Thankfully, as one does, made friends with the people I was standing with in line – had some great chat as we waited! I met Ken, your classic metal aficionado(complete with long curly hair!)…apparently he goes to some 60-80 concerts a year!! Yeah, I could not compete. Also met this man named Bill…a guy probably in his forties who still yet loves metal. It was fun talking to him because he’s definitely not your stereotypical metal fan…works in construction in the city, part of the Iron Workers Union, just your average New Yorker. We had plenty of football and baseball chat, aside from concert talk! So yeah, it was fun to make some friends. I very much am not a fan of going to a concert on my own, but since I made that decision in this case, at least I got to meet some fun people!! Later on, nearer to doors opening, talked to this one girl(never did her name!) for a while. She was probably a couple years younger than me, and upon chatting with her, realized we both got into Nightwish about the same time, back in 07/08. We had much fun talking about our favourite songs, favourite albums…all the shows we’d been to…all the singer drama, etc, etc. I have to confess, I enjoyed that much, mostly because I don’t have many people I can discuss Nightwish with!! I ended up standing next to her at the actual show too, so we got to look at each other and get excited when particular favorite songs were played!! Oh and one more thing…while we were standing in line, a few hours before showtime…I noticed the people in line were getting louder for some strange reason. Looked over to see Tarja and her husband and daughter crossing the street! They made their way into the theatre, but she was smiling and waving at us, passing a few feet in front of me – my first time seeing her, so I was a little starstruck, ok!? – and I’m sure I had a silly smile on my face as I waved back at her. Moments like this. Fun times.
But alright, enough prologue, am I right?? (But seriously, standing in line for over four hours…always fun right???) Finally, after a bit of a delay, the doors were opened and in we rushed!! I was able to maneuver my way to a pretty excellent spot on the far left. Second row!! Yes, not center, but I’ll take it! The support band played and they were…acceptable? Not my favourite, but they tried hard and gave it their all, I’ll give them that. But then finally, finally – it was Tarja time. She came out, the crowd went crazy and the show was amazing. …I honestly don’t really know how to describe it and I fear I would not do it justice. She was energetic and fiery and passionate and radiant and it all was wonderful. Seeing the classic Tarja expressions and smiles in real life…making eye contact with her as her voice rose high…seeing her dance around the stage in joy…what a wonderful, beautiful show. I must now make a small confession and say that while I do like her solo material and seeing her sing is a treat no matter what the songs are…obviously my favourite songs of hers are the ones she sung with Nightwish. So when about halfway through the show she did a medley of Nightwish songs – I was simply ecstatic(along with the girl I was standing next to – we were so much hoping she’d do some old Nightwish!!). That was for sure my favourite part of the night – hearing her sing Ever Dream…Slaying the Dreamer…!!! I never thought I’d ever get this chance to hear her sing those songs in person. And of course…hearing other great songs of hers – Innocence, Diva, Demons in You, and more…was really happy to hear her sing Diva – love that song so much and she brings such energy to it. And of course for that song, she wore a special crown. Oh Tarja. Never change. Near the end of the show(think it was the last song, possibly?) as the band rocked out, she did some of her classic Tarja headbanging…then hilariously stood up, pointed to her neck, grimaced, smiled and laughed – as if to say, “Too old to still be doing this!!” Tarja has just a magnetic stage presence. As much as I tried to enjoy the rest of the band, it was almost impossible to keep from watching her perform. Part of what makes her a legend, I suppose!!
Now, I fear this post is getting rather long, but I suppose I will – as is tradition – also confess that I couldn’t help praying for her as she sang…in one of her talking moments, she spoke of how music was her first love, great passion, etc. And you can definitely see that passion within her! But I do pray for her soul – that she will someday find a new great love, that she will come to know Christ. So many people(very obvious at show last night!) worship her, adore her, shower her with love. May she discover that all in this life is as vanity without knowing God. This I pray. And as for me – as much as I found great joy in listening to her sing…I have a higher joy than that. May I not forget that my true love is Christ! (That’s why it was so special yesterday that I got to read for a few hours in Flavel!)
So the show ended and it was sad and magnificent all at the same time. She did three songs for an encore, then the band made their bows and Tarja had that beautiful smile she always has as she waved farewell. She truly did seem so excited and happy by the love she got from us!! But finally it was over. I eventually made my way to the hotel, feeling oh so tired and having no voice!! (Yes, I yelled a bit too much. Alas) Woke up early this morning(oh wow, it was really only this morning. Seems so long ago now) so that I could take a nice early morning walk. Grabbed some coffee at Pret and made my way through the rainy streets up to 441 W 53rd Street. What is that address, you may ask? (Well, you won’t ask if you’re Mom). Because that is where Mom worked back in the day(80-81, I think) – the “Power Station”, recording studio extraordinaire! She’d sent me the address earlier, so I couldn’t help but make a pilgrimage to see it. Took some pics and called Mom while I was there! It was pretty special, I have to admit.
Eventually though…it was time to return to Houston. Walked down 8th Ave, enjoying walking amidst all the normal New York foot traffic…even though it was *still* raining! I don’t think it was dry the whole time I was there.
Now though, I’m back in Houston, sitting on my couch while John watches some The Last Jedi deleted scenes and I am oh so tired and oh so hungry. Think I’m gonna make some mashed potatoes and go across the street to get some nice spicy chicken. A good dinner, methinks. Thanks for putting up with this rambling entry(sorry for the ill-structure and repetitiveness – tiredness does not a good writer make)…as a reward – a few pics!!
Standing in line
The rather interesting support band!!
Diva
Always love a good acoustic song!! (plus Tarja’s voice!!)
Tarja forever
Outside the Power Station!!
Thanks for reading all this. Love you all!!! Now. Dinner time.
Read some sweet words this morning that encouraged my soul. Thought I’d briefly share. 1 Samuel 30…reading about David’s continued adventures. He decides to spend some time living in the Philistine territory because it’s not exactly fun being chased around by Saul all the time, right?? He’s there for a year and a bit, going on raids with his men to fight the enemies of Israel(even though he’s not entirely forthright to the Philistine king about this!). Anyway, the Philistines gear up for a big campaign against Israel and David and his men get recruited for the cause. David puts on a good face (I do honestly wonder what his backup plan was…? Would he have betrayed the Philistines mid-battle? I am most curious) but the Philistine high command ends up kicking him out, fearing his possibly inevitable betrayal. So that’s all the backstory. David and his men trudge back to the city the Philistines had given them…only to see smoke rising high, the city in ruins. The cursed Amalekites had raided the city and taken all the inhabitants captive. At this point…David and his men can do nothing but cry – indeed, the text says they “lifted their voices and wept until there was no strength in them to weep.” But following that…David’s men were pretty upset with him and decided to blame David for the loss of their families so they started talking about stoning David!! Now this is where David was at. His city that he’d lived in for the past year was destroyed. His men were turning on him and talking about killing him for something that surely wasn’t his fault. And last but certainly not least…David’s family had been taken too. So it makes sense that the text says “David was greatly distressed.” I think I would be pretty distressed as well. So what was David’s response to all this? He had spent time crying, yes. Emotions are good and proper and part of what it is to be human, yes? But…what did David do next? Well – “David strengthened himself in the Lord his God.” And following that line, he sought to communicate with God and ascertain what his next steps should be.
I think this is a good lesson for us all. Surely we are in dire straits at times (maybe our whole city hasn’t burned down and our closest companions aren’t talking about killing us and our family hasn’t been kidnapped by our worst enemies…but well…we still suffer, right?) and surely we feel as if there is nothing we can do to make things better and surely all is just crumbling around us. Yet. Let us remember that our strength does not come from our circumstances or our surroundings or our friends (who may turn against us!) or even within us (because really – what strength do we have…? We are oh so weak at times). No – our strength comes from the Lord. So let us strengthen ourselves in the Lord our God when all else seems dim. Let us remember that no matter how greatly distressed we are in the moment, we can find strength and comfort in our God. Let us flee to him. We may weep first, yes. But then, let us turn to God and rejoice in the love and strength He has to offer. Strengthen yourself in the Lord this day, dear friends.
Happy Friday, friends!! Not much time to write but thought I’d poke my head in. Had a delightful last night chatting with David Tombs…who is in town this weekend visiting me! So excited, so utterly fantastic to catch up and have amazing talks about so many things. Thankful to Dream that she allowed her husband to come and hang out with me!! This weekend shall be delightful, I so declare. Now I’m at work, but it is a Friday and I’m trusting it won’t be too hectic. Famous last words. But my peppermint mocha is hot and the day is young and all is rosy and bright at the moment. Saw Penelope and Katie at Starbucks and nice chats were had (as always!!) and now I suppose I should settle down to the business that is at hand. I did want to write about my luscious time reading through Psalm 37 (+38 + Proverbs 31) but…the minutes have fled too rapidly and I dare not attempt to write more. I can say that it is oh so truly beautiful to rest in my Lord and to wait patiently for Him. At the thought of being close to my God…joy fills my heart and my soul sings.
This sleepy Thursday morning…a few more books vanquished:
26. The Daring Mission of William Tyndale by Steven Lawson. This was a very little book, but massively encouraging. I got this from Mom & Dad last Christmas…and I do so love biographies, so even very little ones are always worth it! This was a great reminder of Tyndale and the great works of God that were done through him. He lived in 16th century England for a time…but eventually fled to Europe to complete his Great Work – the translation of much of the Bible into English. A truly staggering accomplishment, especially as he was not translating from the Latin, as had been done before. No – he translated from the original Greek & Hebrew…and in doing so, he created a marvelous translation that still is the foundation and backbone of the majority of English translations today. He translated all of the New Testament and much of the Old, coordinating the printing and smuggling of these English Bibles into England so that the common man and woman could read. Before he could finish the Old Testament translation, he was captured by English agents, held in prison in Belgium and eventually executed for the grave crime of translating God’s Word into English so that all could read. Tyndale’s passion for the glory of God and desire that all might know Him through His Word…oh so gloriously inspiring. May the desire for God’s glory to increase fill our hearts this day.
27. They Were Counted by Miklós Bánffy. I don’t even know how to describe this one. Originally published in Budapest in the 1930s, this Hungarian novel(first of a trilogy!!) is magnificent, luscious & depressing…all at the same time. Maybe when I read the next two books in the trilogy, I will talk about them more. But briefly – these books are set in early 20th century Transylvania, when Hungary controlled much more territory than they do now. It is written by a Hungarian politician who lived through the tumultuous early 20th century and actually signed the peace treaty with the US that granted Hungary access to the League of Nations after end of the Great War. What’s fascinating is this book is very obviously a depiction of Hungarian high society in the waning days of the Austro-Hungarian Empire…and a vivid look into the short-sighted and decadent behaviour that was part and parcel of that life. The characters are vividly painted, although so many of their decisions and actions are so terrible. One of the characters that started out as my favourite slowly descended into a bottomless pit of his own making (I have been reinforced in my opinion that gambling is not altogether a Wise Thing) and another character, while honourable for the most part, seems to consider it acceptable to chase after a married woman (who yes, may be married to an evil psychopath, which makes me feel slightly better about it. But still). I have heard this trilogy/novel compared favourably to Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina, one of my very favourites. I wouldn’t go quite that far, as I don’t think Bánffy is quite the equal of Tolstoy or Dostoevsky, but I do greatly appreciate this author’s style, as overwrought as some of the prose may be! (Or…maybe that’s why I like it…hm) There are some truly lovely scenes early on (before things get too terrible)…and the descriptions of the great Hungarian estates are a treat for the (imaginary) senses. And one of the things I love about this novel as well, as painful as the reading sometime is…is that the characters are all so very flawed. There are no perfect characters here. People feel deeply…and people err greatly. And the author doesn’t let the characters get away with acting rashly on their emotions. Now, I may be slightly biased in liking this novel, because it has Hungarian characters and written by a Hungarian author…and I do so have a soft spot in my heart for Hungary – having visited there and having dear friends from there. But despite this bias, I think this book has some worthwhile qualities. One of my favourite things is the absurd depiction of Hungarian politics…and it would almost be hilarious if you don’t stop and think that these same political dramas are what set the stage for the soon-coming world war. I love reading about historical events and this book, while fiction, very much educated me on the mindset and political currents that were present at the time. Especially since the book was written by someone who was very much a part of the political scene back then! This mini-review has gotten a bit long. We shall see what I think of the other two books of the trilogy, although I do not have much confidence things will get better. We shall see. Very intrigued to see what happens to Balint, Laszlo, Adrienne, Klara and the rest of the characters I’ve gotten to know so well…as the Austro-Hungarian Empire – and the world – further descends into madness…
A restful night. Meatloaf and green beans in oven…and mashed potatoes shall accompany once it is time for dinner. A quiet night. I am ever so grateful to my Father God for blessing me so. I have had a long weekend and my body craves rest. My heart longs for quiet. My soul cries for love. This night I lift my song of praise and thanksgiving to my Lord, my God, my Father. He has given me much. He has forgiven me everything. Thus sings my soul. A lovely night.
