condensation on the glass
smoke swirls up from the candle
and music hums in the air
and in this moment of all moments
my yearning grapples with my pain
and i shake in silent angst
droplets upon the page
nervous wipe them
before it stains
never mind just my tears
let them forever testify
to what i have felt this day
Month: June 2026
To the Brim
she walks up to the lighthouse
as i in fear linger behind
dare i follow or speak a word?
or would it be folly to presume?
and so i watch her step up to the door
in a second she’s gone inside
and i tremble and look up to the stars
even as their beauty overwhelms me
my thoughts flee and i let out a sigh
no matter where this day ends up
no matter if my heart stays broken
i still am anchored by the oath i have given
and held tight by the love i have known
and i too am counted beautiful
and named even as the countless stars
so i name her now in my heart of hearts
and hurry up the path she trod
Harp Song
Silver water slides underneath the bridge and I feel an urgent desire to shed my shirt and shoes and jump right in. Usually I can push off mad thoughts such as this but not this time. Off comes my shirt and off come my shoes and I climb over the railing and balance on the lip of the bridge. I stretch my back and legs and then push slowly up once as I hold on loosely to the rail behind. The sun beats hot upon my head and I feel the sweat begin to trickle down my neck. The swift water below looks absolutely delicious. I once more slowly press down upon the bridge with my toes and then I force myself past the point of no return and off I leap. The water rushes toward me as my stomach leaps in protest as I have a half second to wonder if I’ve perhaps made a mistake. Never mind! My feet hit the water and my flailing arms and head soon follow. Ah I am cool and I am washed and oh boy is it cold! I immediately splutter to the surface even as I feel the water rush me onwards. I let it. I’m floating backwards and can’t quite see where I’m going but I know the river runs straight for a good half mile at least and I’m not overly concerned of stray rowboats. So I lie back and let the waters carry me on as I feel the sun smile down upon me. Its warmth feels good now. I am a part of the river and the river is a part of me and together we in unison dance with the sky above and the breeze that leaps between. It is a good dance, a rollicking affair. I am not at all mad about my choice, no matter what Madeleine may say later on. Up on that bridge I was a remote observer, standing upon concrete and mind elsewhere. Now? I am living true as the river carries me on. My mind is in the moment and present and oh so focused on the fact that I am in this river and I am breathing fresh air and I feel cold and hot at the same time and it is glorious and I hear creation’s song.
Astonished
A few little thoughts on a few little books this lazy Saturday.
45. The Gold at the Starbow’s End by Frederik Pohl. A collection of sci-fi stories by Pohl, this was a random free pick-up from an airport’s donation shelf. Win! I enjoyed a few of these stories but have to confess that Pohl’s style just may not be for me. Felt a bit dated and though some of his concepts were interesting, the tone was a bit overly cynical and the mood a bit dour. Not for me.
46. Bionicle #1: Rise of the Toa Nuva by Greg Farshtey, Carlos D’Anda, Randy Elliott. Right so throwback time! Reading this little graphic novel (less of a graphic novel and more of a compilation of the first few Bionicle comics) just filled me with all the nostalgia. I remember reading these comics back when they first came out when I was a kid, believe back in 2000-2002 or so? So reading this now was an exercise in happiness and warm sentiment, to be sure. But I do have to confess that I think I really only enjoyed this for the fond memories. Because of the way Bionicle lore and story was unfolded, these comics felt a bit scattered and partial at times, only telling small snippets of story. The rest of the story was told in some of the games and online resources that were out at the time. So I did not entirely remember all the interlude bits and found myself a bit confused! But hey ho, the art was still as gorgeous as I remember and reading this just made me smile. I still remember the wonder I felt at reading that first comic, watching a world come to life before me in all its mythic glory. And I will always fondly remember this franchise for the part it played in my own development. Not sure if I’d be a writer today if it were not for my first fumbling attempts exploring the Bionicle mythos back in the day!!
47. Silas Marner by George Eliot. A wonderful book. As soon as I started reading this book, I sighed in satisfaction, realizing anew how much I love Eliot’s writing and how beautifully she tells a story. This is a simple story in a simple setting, but oh is it told well. While at times Eliot can get a touch overly didactic and the narrator’s voice can intrude a bit more than I would like, I still love how Eliot treats characters and so beautifully shows how the decisions we make in our life affect the meandering course of our precious souls. There are some powerful moments in this one and some moments that made me smile for the beauty and truth contained therein. One of the minor characters unveils her philosophy around chance and providence in a way that made me lift my head and ponder as the simple statements she made in dialect contained some of the most powerful and encouraging truths I’ve read in fiction in a long time. I really loved this one. And I would strongly recommend it as a great introduction to Eliot to anyone who’s not read her yet. It’s so short in comparison to some of her others!
Hear Ye Now
And behold, a violent storm developed on the sea, so that the boat was being covered by the waves; but Jesus Himself was asleep. And they came to Him and woke Him, saying, “Save us, Lord; we are perishing!” He said to them, “Why are you afraid, you men of little faith?” Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and it became perfectly calm. The men were amazed, and said, “What kind of a man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey Him?”
-Matthew 8:24-27
What words are these! Mightily struck by reading the above this morning and ever so encouraged. Who is Jesus? This passage forces us to grapple with the question. He is one who is human – he needs sleep! – yet also one who holds divine power. Who holds such power over the very forces of nature? No mere man. This passage also has moments of humor – Jesus asks the disciples why they are afraid. If I were them, I would simply point to the sea that is even now swamping their boat! But in this question, Jesus is also gently rebuking them. They have already submitted themselves to Him and acknowledged his authority. But clearly their faith is at a weak point here and their verbal acknowledgement of Jesus has not yet extended to full understanding of who He is and a simple trust that clears away the daily anxieties of life. So do we too fear and doubt and worry and fret each and every day, forgetting that Jesus holds our hand and is united to us in a reality too wonderful to imagine. And that leads us to the last question the disciples ask, which is the only appropriate one to ask here. The disciples ask, “What kind of a man is this?” Indeed. We are united to Christ and we can delight in that fact. But do we realize that Jesus is not a mere man or a wise counselor or good buddy but…in actuality God Himself, containing all the fullness of deity and lacking none of his glory? Consider Jesus.
The disciples have weak faith and are feeble and frail in this passage, as so are we each and every day. Yet look at how they respond here. Despite their weakness, they respond just as we should. They go to Jesus, knowing that in him is their salvation. And then they consider the nature of Jesus and wonder. So too let us remember that only in Jesus is there any hope. The storms may rage and the seas may crash around us – as they so often do. Go to Jesus! And let us meditate more on Jesus, on who he is and what he has done for us who cry out to him. Oh how beautiful it is to think on Jesus and ponder His nature and wondrous glory. Jesus is our delight, our hope, our light and our song and our only salvation. We have salvation in nothing we have done. We have fullness of life and eternal delight only through Jesus. Who is Jesus? He is very God and very man, the way of salvation as eternally and divinely decreed in perfect wisdom and extravagant love. What makes our heart beat so in expectant hope and dawning joy? Consider Jesus.
Something Weird 