approach the lower doorway and
ask if all is as it seems
i find it slightly peculiar
how the light turns green now
just when i’m ready to sleep
do you also ascend in half steps
do you feel the sea breeze too?
feel my heart thrum thrum thrum
eyes open wider
the corridor stretches
is it almost time to dream?
Month: April 2026
Slow Down If You Please
A few thoughts on a few books this lovely grey Wednesday evenig.
29. The Apostolic Fathers in English edited by Michael W. Holmes. I had forgotten I had this one on my shelf! It has sat there for a few years now without me sparing it even the slightest thought. Finally though. It was time. I’m glad I read this work. What is it? Well, it’s a compilation of some of the earliest (non-canonical) writings of the early church fathers. We have works by Clement, Ignatius, Polycarp…the early-church manual “The Didache” and others. It was extremely fascinating to read words that had been written so recently following the life of Jesus Christ, even as the church was forming and coming to be slightly more structured and even as certain doctrinal elements were yet rather fuzzy. I think it important to read this with a discerning mind, especially if one reads – as I did – with the belief that the canon of the New Testament was divinely ordained by God and that these writings are not part of it. So are the words I read divinely inspired? I would say not. Yet still these writings give a glimpse as to the thoughts and beliefs of certain ones in the early church and I’m grateful for that. Some of the writings were truly fascinating and encouraging. Funnily enough I found the Epistle to Diognetus the most edifying! An apologetic for the Christian faith addressed to one who did not yet believe, I found it a clear and well-structured proclamation of the gospel. Some of the writings were a bit more odd. The Shepherd of Hermas? Yeah, that’s an odd one. I don’t quite know what to make of it and it made me uneasy at times. And some of the letters of Ignatius made me quirk an eyebrow, especially with his emphasis on the primacy of the bishops and their standing in the place of God. Hm. And I did note with sadness a vein running throughout many of these writings on the emphasis of works and holy living with a bit of a neglect on the work of Christ and what that work means for those who are his. Legalism and formalism already creeping in a bit. How quickly did errors accrete, even in the early church! So if you read this, read it with discernment and care. I would still heartily recommend this to anyone interested in theology and the early church. It’s a fascinating read and well worth the time taken.
30. Tiger by the Tail by Alan Nourse. An old slim paperback I found on my shelf, it’s a collection of old-school sci-fi stories, just what I was in the mood for! Yet…the stories weren’t anything much to write home about. These stories definitely felt in the vein of silly 50s/60s sci-fi, even reminding me a bit of Asimov’s lesser stories at times. I know this is technically “Golden Age” sci-fi, but I just didn’t think these stories were that great. There are better old sci-fi collections out there.
31. Dungeon Crawler Carl by Matt Dinniman. Finally. I’d been hearing about this one for a while and dismissed it figuring it was not my speed. Well, a friend finally lent it to me this past week and I knocked it out in a couple nights. Did I like it? Yes and no. It’s remarkably well crafted and the writer has a strong voice, to be sure. It’s a fun read!! But I probably won’t be continuing this journey. Even though I’m a bit curious how Carl and Donut’s journey progresses, I don’t think I can bring myself to read another one. I may have liked this book a lot more 10 or 15 years ago, I don’t know. If you play (or have played) video games, you would probably love this. I did appreciate the game references and it felt very Borderlands-esque (even the humor! especially the humor!) and the characters are strong. And I’ve heard the series only gets better. But! This book is just a bit too crass and profane, a bit too violent and dark…and…though I appreciate what the author is doing and it is a rather fun read, I just don’t need this in my head. So shutting it down after one. I wonder if this is a sign I’m just getting old? Or perhaps more weary of certain things I once found funny. Anyway, I do get the hype and I understand why this series is loved. Just not for me.
32. The Paradox of the Sets by Brian Stableford. Every time I read a sci fi novel by Stableford I find myself happy and pleased and wondering why I don’t read more by him. The author is wildly imaginative, wonderfully nerdy (especially on the subject of biological/ecological subjects!) and decently philosophical. This book is in a series that I have read a few books of before and technically this is the last one, but it didn’t really matter as the story is pretty stand-alone. It’s a mystery of sorts and I enjoyed trying to figure out what was really going on as the narrator attempted to discover the secrets of the final colony world on their mission. Well-written sci-fi goodness. Full approve.
Domestic
Hello friends! A Tuesday evening post here, a bit rare that. But I do have a few minutes to sit here on the couch and rest and why not? I’m feeling simultaneously tired and happy at the moment. A long work day accomplished. Then some errands with the Dani. It’s been a grey drippy day all throughout and what better at the end of a long wet day? A nice hot bowl of soup with fresh bread, says I. So…well get to work, James – I said to myself! Vegetables have been chopped and a quick dough has been whipped up and now the ham and bean soup simmers on the stove and bread is baking in the oven. Thankfully I’m not quite hungry yet as I feel the soup needs a couple hours to really come together. We’ll get there. Even if we do end up eating dinner about 8pm tonight! That all being said – far too much talk about dinner I suppose! – I really just wanted to write a few words on a normal little day here. Sometimes we crave to chronicle the momentous happenings of life and such is good. But I also think it important to record days like this. A quiet little Tuesday in which life is lived even if there is nothing big or grand about it. Living itself is something that points to the miraculous is it not? So I now lift my head and sigh, grateful for a hearty dinner ahead and a warm dry home and a book about to be read. I am truly blessed, that I cannot deny.
In All of Time and Space
A momentary beauty and a fundamental truth encourages me in this day that feels so real and present yet I know by tomorrow it will be yet another wafer thin page quickly fading in my memory to mist. But does that fact that the existing moment in the present is quickly shoved aside to become ever less important in the grand scheme of the timeline that rushes stubbornly in one direction mean that moment is in actuality less important or is it only a trick of perception? I would argue so though it is difficult to state my case when I can say for almost certainty that if this earth still spins a few hundred years hence there will be no one left alive who remembers my name (and certainly not my face). I’ve had the thought myself when looking at old photo albums – who is that? No clue. Turn the page. Page turned and accomplished and we move forward in swaggering sureness of importance of self. Hard to think otherwise when one exists as one does and can only reference to self because well one thinks as oneself does one not? Oh pardon me for this angst induced overly indulgent existential rage. I am proud and selfish as most of us tend to be, us mere humans scraping through the rubble of our shattered dreams attempting to salvage an idea of the grand reality that was promised. Does your heart thrill to that thought too? Is there a true myth that causes your heart to skip a beat and the hair to rise upon your neck as you put your hand to your lips as unconsciously you yearn for a taste of the miraculous? Or is it only again the scrabbling through the ashes of the forest attempting to construct a mansion out of trees that never could bear the weight of expectations as you turn your face aside to cry? I ask for your forgiveness, friend. My thoughts dance ahead of my reason and I fear the turmoil of my heart is now bare for all to see. What is this lot of mine, this suffering? Do you hurt too? I ache for that weight of glory. I beg for the veil to be removed. I crave to live in a real house someday. I can’t bear this tent much longer, surely not. But there is a sense of something beautiful in the corner of my eye and I rest my hand upon the truth that truly never lies. Someday resurrection will be seen face to face. For now though I see not, I believe. I can’t help but otherwise when the fire burns within me so.
Snapshot
she darts a gaze my way
that woman leaning against
the little yellow car
profound in its solidity
she slumps in her transience
and meets my eyes
small smile plays about her lips
even as the cigarette touches
i walk past the stranger and don’t look back
oh now i smell the smoke
Fits and Starts
Sidewalk strolls seldom feel entirely purposeless when the sky so shyly smiles as she does presently. Involuntarily I smile and lift my head up in silent prayer. It is good to sing a new song this day. Puddles abound and the birds chirp. The earth has been freshly washed and the bayou runs high and I marvel at the many waters flowing underneath my feet. The bridge bounces as past me runs another who loves the early mornings. The sky’s face is veiled behind a thin layer of clouds. Some would say this early morning grey is a bit of a dull affair especially when the air has chilled so. I would beg to differ. There is a special kind of beauty in early morning sky when the predominant colours are soft grey and pale gold. My heart sings in harmony with the notes of this new day. I close my eyes and lean over the bridge and let my imagination run afore me as I ponder the now and not yet and think on all that is to come when I am truly home. I open my eyes and see in the far distance the skyline rising through the fog. There is a shimmer or sort of sparkle as a ray of sun bounds through. And my eyes change color too. From grey to green they progress in the light of morning’s fullness.
Home By Eleven
Hello friends! A rainy Saturday here and it’s nice to be warm and dry inside with nothing on the agenda this evening. Well, maybe some reading and perhaps some Great British Baking Show shenanigans. And I do hope some reading as well! But we shall see. I’m a bit tired but it’s not even 7pm yet so surely I can’t even start to consider bedtime yet. So thought I’d log a few of my latest reads and perhaps I’ll write more later? Nah I don’t want to promise that. But here we go, let’s talk about some books most briefly.
26. Disaster on Windy Hill by Lois Walfrid Johnson. The Northwoods series comes to a close! I do like this book and think it’s a lovely little capstone to the series. Finally they are all back at home again and we get the whole family and Kate continues to grow up and though the plot is pretty basic, the character arc is what matters here. Love to see Kate growing up into a strong woman of God. And some truly memorable scenes here, my favourite being when Kate witnesses Papa go out to the woods to seek the Lord and read the Bible in a time of hardship and fear. Might I remember this. Where do I go when I fear and my heart quakes? May I also cry out to the Lord in my distress, to one who shows lovingkindness to me his child!
27. Lost in a Good Book by Jasper Fforde. Another absurd romp by the literary mastermind Fforde. He really is quite a clever writer and I found myself much amused by this one. I suppose it really helps to have a good grounding in books and literary topics and I doubt I would have appreciated this one half as much if I read it fifteen years ago. Reading it now…well, it was simply superb. I don’t want to spoil overmuch, but the first part of the book is good, though just kind of ridiculous and off the wall. But about halfway through, when Thursday starts to enter other…er…dimensions…the book just becomes superb , tickling my fancy to the extreme. If you are a book lover and appreciate a book that doesn’t take itself too seriously and is wacky and fun and also chockfull of clever wordplay and bookish illusions….well, you’ve come to the right place.
28. Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery. Didn’t quite think I’d read this book again so soon after my last read, but ended up reading it for book club this month and though I probably could have foregone the read and just gone off memory…of course I had to read it again. And oh this one still delights. Some may wonder why this book resonates so much with my soul. I doubt I can fully explain but I just know my heart thrills when reading this one. Such simple sweetness, such profound beauty. I love reading of the good and the beautiful and the human, and this book delights in all the ways. It’s brilliantly written – Montgomery has such a way with words and so many wonderful turns of phrase. The humour is top-notch and I found myself laughing out loud multiple times as I read! Yes Anne is a bit ridiculous and at times overly whimsical and full of drama. Oh so many mishaps and misadventures! Still yet we see her grow into a young woman who loves deeply and begins to think of others before herself. I do so love how the author alternates between scenes of nature that delight the imagination and lengthy passages of dialogue where you can just hear Anne speaking her heart and soul. This book is one that reminds me of the sheer beauty of the world in which we walk and breathe and also speaks of the wonder of what it is to be human. So many times as I read a short descriptive paragraph of the path Anne was walking, I found myself smiling as my heart warmed as I imagined walking there myself.
I did find one passage that I marked in a past read and I wondered why it was the only passage I had marked off. Read it and then nodded to myself. Yup, I agree with past James. This passage thrums a chord deep in my heart and I shall close with this now. “It’s nice to be eating ice cream at brilliant restaurants at eleven o’clock at night once in awhile; but as a regular thing I’d rather be in the east gable at eleven, sound asleep, but kind of knowing even in my sleep that the stars were shining outside and that the wind was blowing in the firs across the brook.”
That Old Story
Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal. For we know that if the earthly tent which is our house is torn down, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For indeed in this house we groan, longing to be clothed with our dwelling from heaven, inasmuch as we, having put it on, will not be found naked. For indeed while we are in this tent, we groan, being burdened, because we do not want to be unclothed, but to be clothed, so that what is mortal will be swallowed up in life. Now He who prepared us for this very purpose is God, who gave to us the Spirit as a pledge.
-2 Corinthians 4:16-5:5
Thanksgiving
the bread broken and the wine poured
up to the table i walk once again
still it feels as the first time
the wonder and the love that somehow
this feast before me is rightfully mine
but why when my feet are dirty and my eyes dry?
the wrong assumption of course
it is not my eyes that looked with love as they spat upon him
it is not my feet that were pierced through with heavy iron
so i do not claim anything of mine own as merit sufficient
if i did that would not be a rightful claim
only pride
instead i clutch a ticket stub that has stamped upon it
paid in full
by that divine one Jesus Christ
with whom one day I shall dine as we break bread
and he looks me in the eye
and we toast each other and each take a sip of wine
someday soon i pray but for now
i cling to his feet and sing once more
the song that is forever mine
he loves me yes i know
A Mock Severity Demonstrated
See how the storms howl outside? Yes of course I’ll be safe, but let me open the door for a second, just a second I promise! And let me stick my head out to feel the spray of the rain on my face and feel the raw wind in all its glory. Too often the safety and security of our modern life aids in our forgetting the fragility of our frames. We are used to being master of all we survey. Stand for a moment as the thunder rolls and you will not feel as if you are much of a master at all. Perhaps it is good to feel small now and then. I close the door once more. Only a little wet, see? Now I don’t need to take a shower for the water falling from the heavens was sufficient to wash me clean. No I won’t shake myself on the mat. Throw me a towel and I’ll dry off and then let’s turn the oven on as we prepare for dinner. I like the natural beauty of the outdoors but I also crave simple comforts like dry clothes and hot food. Electricity is pretty nice too.
Something Weird 