Sometimes I wish to write of sweeter things and of all that I have loved and known. Sometimes I wish my dreams were always pure and full of heaven’s scent. And sometimes I wish that my fainting heart never longed for anything more than to more perfectly know God and to dwell with him in peace marveling on his divine love and simplicity. What a mystery it is at times to think on the fact that God is three persons yet one in very essence – my thoughts cannot fully comprehend such and I do confess at times the more I think on God and his manifold attributes, the more I realize how little do I understand the reality of his nature. Yet not always are my thoughts and dreams of such – too often do I think on tawdry things, on the mud beneath my feet that I swirl my boots in to delight in the patterns that arise. Too often do I let my heart race and fret over those worries that are so little and small in the grand pattern and I can’t even control them anyway yet my heart weeps and sometimes I don’t even know why. Why am I sad and why do I cry? What is wrong with my life that I lose sight of true reality? Ah for this body that is yet shackled to this broken earth. Both of us broken and both of us groan. I do long for heaven. I don’t long for a place and I don’t long for mere relief from this weariness. I long for my Lord. I want to be with God.