I love this good grey coat
for it reminds me of my time abroad
when it kept me warm even when the water
poured
and all my notebooks in its many pockets
were filled with notes and maps
and prayers and poems
and all the little things
that cross your mind when
you’re in a country not your own
see now what i write in this notebook spread before me?
the candlelight flickers across the half-written scribblings
as i consider even now that i walk as a pilgrim in a foreign land
so let me fill these pages with all the wonders that spur my thoughts
to spiral further up and further in
consider this far country to which i go.
Month: May 2025
Trials
sometimes i wish my pen didn’t run out of ink
just when inspiration strikes
and i finally have something to say
alas more common my pen sloshes full
and in morbid fascination
i fill the pages with lines
no one cares to read
not even me
Across the Sea
for upon this autumn evening
when the air is really rather fine
and there is not even a hint of rain
i hum a tune and unzip my coat
now it’s time to let my thoughts tumble
as I walk down winterstone lane
i hear the click clack of my boots upon the cobbles
and brush my gaze past the shopfronts on either side
and now look up to see the twinkling streetlights
see here night is almost nigh
and surely this is a night that’s ripe for poetry
and i say that last aloud as she walks up to where i wait
she pulls her hands from her coat pockets and swiftly hugs me
and i hear her smile as she replies
every night is a night for poetry
especially where you’re involved
so write me something please but first maybe let’s duck in here
and grab a bite to eat
i’m famished and could really use a good beef stew and perhaps
some mashed potatoes too
you read my mind my love
and inwards we go exulting in the warmth that flickers from the hearth
we grab a table by the fireplace and i take her coat and drape it over her chair
and then she sits and then i sit and then we laugh
what now she says tears of joy shining on her face
let’s exult in the glories that surround us
let’s meditate on the paths that brought us here
let’s rejoice in the God who made us
let’s talk until the stars grow faint
and after that let me walk you to your door
do you consider that a proper plan?
i have no complaints she says her eyes sparkling
Climbing the Old Brick Wall
here we go – a meditation on finer things
maybe a well buttered baked potato
or perhaps lilies and buttercups
or maybe just coffee on the end table
and a candle gently flickering
for it is early enough that my mind still dwells
on last night’s dreams
and the fact that throughout ran a common theme
a light in the darkness
and through the forest running a silver stream
shall I follow and see where it leads?
I turn another page and see words blazing forth
speaking to me of kingdom far
but somehow also near and present
for as my mind dwells on the already but not yet
and ponder on what has been and what shall be
I push aside the thorns and thistles that attempt to bind
and now think on the beauty of Jesus Christ
for i am his and he is mine
and i need no lesser glories
it is only grace that holds my hand
Remember Fall
A few book reviews this Saturday afternoon.
33. Gentle and Lowly by Dane Ortlund. An encouraging and wonderful book meditating on the heart of Christ and the wonderful mercies of God towards those sinners who he calls into communion with himself. There are many thoughts I have on this one. In some ways, it is a very simple book, focusing on the unique bent of God’s heart towards compassion and mercy (particularly brought to light in the chapter on God’s natural work of mercy and his strange work of wrath). In other ways, this book is quite a difficult one to read and understand, precisely because it is a book seeking to dig deep into the nature of God and to comprehend his attributes and very heart. And God is God. And we are not God. And to fully and completely understand God is beyond us. Hence there are times when my mind fuzzed as I sought to grasp the realities of God the author was attempting to unveil. And there are times when I was slightly wary of some of the concepts laid forth, especially as I was worried that a focus on the “gentle and lowly” nature of Christ’s heart would undermine the divine simplicity of God. I still fear I am not quite intellectually equipped to grasp all that I read. Yet? This book was wonderful at pointing towards Scripture (and other authors) and what they reveal about the nature of God. I simply loved all the authors (predominately Puritans – and Jonathan Edwards!) quoted and I will confess that probably most of my favourite parts of this book was reading these quotes. The author did do a good job of pulling these quotes into a cohesive whole and bringing to my mind thoughts about God that aided in my understanding and worship of Him!
I will need to read this one again. It is one of those uniquely wonderful books that combines both devotional thought and deep theological study. The chapters are short enough that one can read one in a few minutes and spend time meditating on what has been read. Yet there is enough deep theology packed within that I never felt the author was being overly simplistic or trite. If anything, this book undid some of my expectations (that this was just a light fluffy book about the love of Christ) and I’m most grateful I read it. I still believe there are some theological implications that I haven’t fully understood and I worry there are some who could read this book and come away confused about the nature of God, yet is that not the danger in any book written of God? I appreciate this book as being one that encourages us to think more on the heart of God.
34. A Severed Wasp by Madeleine L’Engle. A book that left me feeling conflicted. L’Engle writes gorgeously and to read this book of hers is to be swept up into a story of numerous characters that feel, act and speak like real people. Yet there are also parts of this book that simply irked me and felt a bit artificial at times. I love L’Engle usually so it pains me that this book just didn’t work quite as well for me (and I seem to remember I liked it more when I first read it!). Possibly reading it right after A Small Rain was not a good idea, as now that first book seems unmistakably superior to this one. I do appreciate this but do not think I’d read it again if it were not a sequel to A Small Rain. That book felt fresh and artless whereas this one feels a bit…overdone. I will echo thoughts I remember having the first time, that it does feel a bit as if Katherine Forrester (a remarkable character!) is almost too above reproach in this one. This book almost feels hagiographic at times! Indeed, she becomes a confessor to practically every character in this book, which felt a bit odd, but I think was a deliberate choice by the author. This read, I also realized some of the flashback sequences that revealed Katherine’s life post Small Rain had parts in them that bothered me much more this time. Surely this is just L’Engle sharing realities of life and attempting to show the costs of suffering, yet still…there were choices made that made me sad. No more said of that now.
Anyways, it seems like I’m being entirely negative and I feel a bit sad for that. There were elements of this book that I loved. L’Engle as always is remarkably good at showing the small everyday parts of life that so many people gloss over. I love the friendship between Katherine and Emily and how Katherine does such a good job of caring for Emily in her pain. I did love the large cast of characters, even if there are some broadly drawn ones that do not perhaps survive closer look. And of course, I love the reflections and meditation on both music and religion, and what it means to worship God. I do not think I fully agree with all of L’Engle’s conclusions, but I did appreciate her attempting to explore her theology in a bit more depth. Also – there is a cynicism and world-weariness in this book that I perhaps did not catch the first time – maybe it is just what comes with being a more mature author, yet still I did not appreciate as much on this read. Is this a bad book? No, it’s not. But definitely one that is nearer the bottom of my personal ranking of L’Engle’s works.
All My Songs are Written in Darker Ink than They Used to Be
How wonderful it is this morning to ponder thoughts of beyond the veil. I confess that my hope is elsewhere and these storms near at hand are little more than temporary annoyances. My mind drifts. I am on the sea, the bark I am in bobbing on the seas that just now start to calm. Sails hoisted, we move towards the east and towards the lands for which our dreams crave. The sun is hot and water supplies little, yet we worry not, for we know the promises of that which is to come. My lips are cracked yet still I sing heaven’s songs. We believe that we are almost there and so we prepare our baggage and check one more time the scraps of leather engraved with our invitation. A cool breeze sweeps across the deck and we exult. Faster our ship glides across the sparkling waves. What is that which pokes its head up from the horizon? Is it just a mirage or is it land? Or perhaps a bit of both depending on who you ask. I see an island, a curved rim of sand protecting a bit of greenery and then a mount reaching up and higher into the sky. My heart shivers in a way I cannot quite describe and which the actual presence of this island cannot quite explain, at least not in any words I can write now. You would have to see it to understand. But see? It’s just over there. I am still on this boat upon this chaotic sea, but not for long now. I hear a voice calling. Peace be still. My hope is met with reality as I now see a figure upon the beach walking slow steps upon the sand. There must be a fire laid close to hand for smoke rises in a thin stream just beyond the curve of beach. The sea is too shallow now and I think I must jump off and swim the remainder of the way. One more leap of faith and then all I am shall be swept up in that for which my soul longs. I don’t mind getting wet. Just a bit and then I shall be home.
A Mighty Fortress
i would like a dollop of whipped cream this morning good sir
perched on top of my coffee and promising bliss
and then i hope for that wonderful moment
where the dark black bitter swirls with the manna from heaven
and on my tongue it sings
yes please
and across the counter he hands to me the cup and smiles
take this with our compliments you come here often enough
enjoy this on your drive and think of us here toiling
and come again some time just to read and chat
and listen to the morning murmur
i’ll make you another coffee just the way you like it
a new pot from fresh ground dark roast beans
strong and bold and piping hot
and yes with extra whip
After Midnight
Monday starts slowly and for that I am grateful. And while I shan’t write long, I do want to pen a few simple words of gratitude for that which I have been given. This past weekend has been simply lovely, full of quiet and uninterrupted times of rest and also yes – conversations with dear friends and simply the enjoyment of being with others whom my heart loves. Yesterday was a lovely time at church in the morning – worshipping our Lord and hearing from his word! – and then following got to go to the classic Las Locas for lunch with all the friends to see John and Emily (and little Charlotte!) who were visiting briefly! Oh how wonderful it was to see John again and though we didn’t get much time to go deep on all the things, it did my heart good to see him again and see the work of the Lord in the life of him and his family! Later on, Dani and I got a wonderful walk (even though shorter than usual – I guess we can’t walk five miles every day!) even though summer has most certainly made its arrival known and I sigh to know that it will not get any better over the course of the next few months. Alas for summer in Texas. And after the walk and a quick little dinner, me and Dani went over to Kaitlyn’s for a movie night with her and Klayton! It was such a sweet time being with them and enjoying movie and quality discussion and simply being in the presence of good friends. Oh how blessed am I!
And I could write more of the past weekend and the thankfulness in my heart as I consider all that God has done for me and all the blessings he has given this undeserving one and the little simple pleasures of this weekend that made my heart sing (such as long stretches to read, the making and subsequent eating of epic lasagna dinner, watching classic BBC Pride and Prejudice with Dani for the first time and yes, all the walking and sweating and enjoying standing on the bayou bridge looking out over the quirky beauties that Houston has to offer…), yet I fear my words can’t do justice to the joy that fills my soul. For I consider the manifold and abundant nature of the mercies and compassion of my Lord and I know that I can never fully comprehend the infinite wonders of who he is yet that which I do see now in a faint sense is enough to send me to my knees in stunned adoration.
One More Day
Sometimes I wish to write of sweeter things and of all that I have loved and known. Sometimes I wish my dreams were always pure and full of heaven’s scent. And sometimes I wish that my fainting heart never longed for anything more than to more perfectly know God and to dwell with him in peace marveling on his divine love and simplicity. What a mystery it is at times to think on the fact that God is three persons yet one in very essence – my thoughts cannot fully comprehend such and I do confess at times the more I think on God and his manifold attributes, the more I realize how little do I understand the reality of his nature. Yet not always are my thoughts and dreams of such – too often do I think on tawdry things, on the mud beneath my feet that I swirl my boots in to delight in the patterns that arise. Too often do I let my heart race and fret over those worries that are so little and small in the grand pattern and I can’t even control them anyway yet my heart weeps and sometimes I don’t even know why. Why am I sad and why do I cry? What is wrong with my life that I lose sight of true reality? Ah for this body that is yet shackled to this broken earth. Both of us broken and both of us groan. I do long for heaven. I don’t long for a place and I don’t long for mere relief from this weariness. I long for my Lord. I want to be with God.
She Understands
it’s simply grand sitting here under the big oak
feeling the warmth of the sun upon my face
as i close my eyes and smile
but can it be
i hear music upon the breeze
it sounds of violet and crumbled dreams
violin achingly played
i know the feeling
for sometimes my heart breaks like that too