Smokestacks

Another Monday begins. What this week brings who can tell? Or at the least, I can say for certainty not I. A bit of uncertainty, a bit of anxiety as we slide headfirst into April into chaos looming. But is not all of life a bit of chaos, heedlessly unconstrained by the chains that we so meticulously fasten around our plans in order to bring about our own designs? We think at times that if we plan just so and schedule in such and such a fashion that we might then truly have our lives set aright and in smooth and careful steps proceed accordingly to our will. We would be as gods. Yet all of life goes to prove us wrong. We take firm steps and we plan. This is good. Yet on this sea that tosses violently there is only one who can of his own accord calm it. Not I, never I. Is that not a bit reassuring? It is to me and you may wonder why. It is simple – I am every day shown how feeble and frail are my strivings. If the path of my life was up to me alone, I would have good reason to be terrified at the outcome. For I know the deep and lingering darkness in myself as well as the storm that howls round about. It is not a good thing to be left to one’s own devices. And so on this slowly waking morning, I look anew to the horizon grateful for my soul’s own mooring. I trust not in myself for myself, thanks be to God! Instead I trust in the one who never fails and never flees. I trust in Jesus Christ who gave his life for me. This is true and this is real and this actuality of salvation which has occurred is more solid looming in my mind than any imagined pain or hurt. I linger in wondering awe at the foot of this long dreamed hill and watch the flowers grow.

Lovingly She Said

23. Meditation and Communion with God by John Jefferson Davis. A really rather wonderful book on the reality that is true communion with God. It is easy to say trite phrases such as “God with us” or “When two or more gather in my name, there am I with them” and nod our heads and think yes of course we are Christians and we acknowledge that God is real and God is with us. But what do these truths actually mean? How can we understand ontologically what it means to be found in Christ? In a deeper philosophical sense, what does it mean that the Holy Spirit is within us and somehow someway working in us? How can as Christians meditate in a way that is healthy, theologically sound and yet also profoundly real? This book is a wonderful essay thinking through some of these questions in a way which speaks to my soul. I confess, I first read this book some 12 years ago now – when I was still residing in Aberdeen! – and I remember being much moved by it and giving it pride of place on my bookshelf. I have not read it since then and recently as I’ve been meditating more and more on the reality of what it means to abide in Christ, I wanted to give this book another whirl and see how it struck me this time. Well I will confess that apparently either I have not changed that much (false, to be sure) or this book really does hold some pretty profound truths – and wonderfully incisive phrasings to hit home – on the nature of our communion with the true God. This book is not exactly an easy read – there are some concepts that are quite difficult to get your mind around. But is that not only proper? Though I found some of the metaphors a bit wonky and maybe less helpful than the author intended (I really could have done with less of the Skype metaphor!), I do appreciate the effort the author took to try and clearly communicate what it means that we in actuality participate in the work of Christ in a real and abiding sense, just as we in actuality participate in heavenly realities in a way which is more real than we fully now understand. The author does a wonderful job of discussing some heady concepts in a way that enflamed my soul with awe as I considered the truths of being a new creation through the work of God in my life. The author also dives deep into what meditation can look like and how it can be practiced in a way which is both biblical and grounded while also very and almost mystically real. I don’t claim to fully understand how God is constantly at work in those who are his, but I can say with confidence that this book was a wonderful aid to my pondering the truths of God and His works in our lives. And I loved the strong Trinitarian theme that runs throughout! Again, the author does not shy away from hard sayings! Instead, the author digs into the Scriptural texts and seeks to bring out their truths into the modern age. Yes, there are a few sayings and quotations in this book that perhaps make me nervous, such as his quoting of persons from a very diverse set of Christian persuasions, yet I cannot find fault with this author for being willing to learn from those who may not come exactly from one narrow stream of Christian thought. At the end of the day, I appreciated the fact that this book was soaked in Scripture and written by one who most clearly knows God and seeks to know Him more. Oh how I long to seek my God thus – and this book mightily encouraged me in that quest and gave me such a sweet desire to draw closer to my God.

24. Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis. A remarkably unique book. I have not read this book in many years – I believe since my college days! – and I recently felt a desire to read some more Lewis and realized I had this book on my shelf and simply must revisit! It was interesting reading it now and I had to be careful to not be overly critical at times! As always with Lewis, I am always finding little things here and there that I don’t quite agree with and sometimes the way he approaches a question feels a bit forced and sometimes I was wishing for more Scripture! Yet! That last complaint especially is a silly one, as I realise that Lewis is writing this book (or rather – gave a series of talks) primarily to talk to those who do not yet know Christ and certainly would not respond well to a scriptural quote-fest! This book is an apologetic book, walking one through the journey of considering the possibility of God and what that may mean to our lives on this earth, particularly if this God turned out to be the Christian one that has been shown to us in the revelation of His Word, firstly in the person of Christ and secondarily in the inspired Scriptures. Lewis’ style is – as always – a delight. It’s simple yet deep, bracing yet fatherly. We get a sense here that Lewis is genuinely trying to tell us something that he actually believes is really true. Which. Yes. In pondering this book, part of me is annoyed that Lewis doesn’t come out and say things more forcefully at times. Yet is that not purposeful? Lewis here is not trying to outline in detail a particular line of dogma. He very clearly states up front that he’s not calling for one denomination or sect as true or false and he also very clearly states – again, aggravatingly at times – that he believes most traditions have their validities and can lead to God. Yet this book is about giving someone the opportunity to ask questions about the nature (or even possibility) of God and then gently guiding them down the path of what this then must necessarily entail. I love it for that. This is a book I can easily recommend to someone and then say – read this then let’s talk for a while. This book doesn’t have all the answers – really, what book does? – but it is a marvelous primer for one who is wondering about God and thinks that maybe there’s something out there? Yes, it’s a tad dated now, written near on 90 years ago, and so maybe Lewis doesn’t quite talk or write in the way it would be the most helpful for those of us in the 21st century. Still though? There is definitely utility to this one and as always with Lewis, there are those sentences and paragraphs that shine with the most brilliant clarity and truth that you take a gasp in awe. So many nuggets that Lewis just casually drops in front of us. I could go on and on with some quibbles here and there, but really, I don’t want to debate Lewis on the details here, because the point of this book is to point us in the direction of a real God who really communicates to us and who really, truly wants to be in communion with us so that we can in actuality be transformed into who we are truly meant to be – sons and daughters of God. What this means we cannot now know, but we eagerly wait for the day when all shall be revealed. Lewis talks about real things as being real things. If God is real, what does that mean for us? What shall we do with that information? That’s a good question. I shall end with some of Lewis’ own words, which I feel will be far more valuable than my own.

“Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it. The principle runs through all life from top to bottom. Give up yourself, and you will find your real self. Lose your life and you will save it. Submit to death, death of your ambitions and favourite wishes every day and death of your whole body in the end: submit with every fibre of your being, and you will find eternal life. Keep back nothing. Nothing that you have not given away will be really yours. Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead. Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in.”

Inheritance

tip tap the bird sits upon
the window ledge
and see how the oak leaves
flutter down
upon the yellowed grass
oh has it come to this
though the newspapers weep
i now see that the season
has come
autumn at long last
summer falls streaming on
my uplifted face
for even now my heart races
in the grand consummation
of even the dance of ages
for it has now come to past
that the invitation upon the table
has not been for nothing
no no says she look at the signature
and the wax still dripping
and see out the window the carriage
it is here it is here
far sooner than i could have imagined
far later than i long have wished
these groaning bones have no complaint
no longer
the grass so green under my feet offers a lullaby
and i see the vines leap upwards the strong wrought seaside tower
tick tock sea spray falls

Countryside

Just finished making my little tomato/avocado salad and popped it in the fridge. Now? Well the burritos will at some point be put in the oven for dinner, but that point is still far off. It’s a Friday evening and while it’s been a good week…also been a tiring one. Wonderfully – a quiet night is now at hand! I wish I could say I’d try and write a bit, but not sure it’s in the cards. Perhaps a poem or two, perhaps. And really at some point I should work a bit more on my long prose. But for the now, I’m oh so grateful for a night where I can simply rest in our cosy apartment at the end of a long week. I think a bit of quality classical music is in order and of course a candle. And books? Without question. I’m close to finishing up Mere Christianity – a joy and delight as expected, a vigorous fresh breeze of truth and clarity. And I may also read a bit more of my WWI book – Sleepwalkers, which is inordinately fascinating and I really can’t put it down, though I must at some point in order to make time for book club book – Mrs. Dalloway. I think that last shall be the crown jewel of the evening for there is almost nothing that I enjoy more than to open a new book and sink deep into the world within. Well in actuality there is a list of probably ten or more things that I enjoy more, but I shall not bore you now by listing those off. Let me simply end by saying how grateful I am for a night of rest. And of course – the joy that fills my heart as I thrill at the thought that I am a child of God. Peace, my friends. Peace and love.

Delighted To Be Sure

she deflected my question
as she leaned back against
the old antique stove
and asked if i wanted a cup of tea
what could i reply to that
but sure
and then as she busied herself with the kettle
i turned back to the table and cut a couple pieces of cake
one for me
and one for her
so now when she handed me the steaming mug of chamomile
i was armed and gave her what she’d had her eyes on
this whole entire time
the chocolate chocolate cheesecake that was her greatest dream
and as her eyes widened in that characteristic joy
i grabbed my mug and sipped and almost burnt my tongue
yet it was worth it without question
to see that smile that never fails
to outshine the sun

Louisa

lightly she galloped up the mountain
her feet barely touching the rich green grass
instead she soared and leaped and yes
even flew
as her eyes focused on the still higher
quickly moving stream
for if she dared to cross it
and win the alpine meadow for her own
there’d plenty of wildflowers to pick and treasure
perhaps even a wild mountain rose
and then when she had a full and hearty bouquet
then she would be happy to descend at pace slightly
more leisurely
but wonder do you what she did when all a sudden
clouds sprang upon the scene
and thunder bellowed and lightning struck
and rain soaked her head to toe
perhaps her fortitude would be sorely tested
and her spirit promptly damped
but instead her eyes shone all the greater
and still up the mountain she danced
for a little rain was not enough to thwart her
and into the teeth of the storm she laughed!
and soon enough the clouds gave up the onslaught
and the drenched young maiden continued on
her hair wet and dripping down her back
but who cares for that when again
shone the sun!
and finally near dry she crossed the little streamlet
and let her feet feel all nice and cool
but not to be too distracted
she kept her gaze pointed at the wind tossed rainbow hue
her flowers were here and hers alone and enough for an armful
and many more to spare
oh but what is that whistle that sounds from the hut on the horizon
is it another little girl now coming out to play?
perhaps they can gather flowers now together
and sing and dance and laugh and pray
and then a hearty supper of stew and boiled potatoes
and lots of berries black and sweet
for though flowers are nice to look at and truly very lovely
a bouquet is not at all for one to eat!
so now the maidens tired at last from all their toils
sit around a little fire and look at their flowers dear
and eat their fill and a little more still
and whisper of things they fear
for the night has come and dark has fallen
and ghost stories are fun to share
yet the girls hearts are full
and their feet are warm
and they have flowers in their hair.

The Man Who Had Died Came Forth

Oh how glorious a time it was this morning at church, surrounded by hundreds who lifted up their voices and sang to our God on high. We sang his praises and lifted up our hands to the one who saves us and offers us eternal life with him. And indeed as our final words rang out ascribing glory to our Lord, I couldn’t help but imagine what it would be one day when surrounded not by hundreds but by thousands (and many myriads of thousands more) when we sing with faces blazing in the light that is shining from the face of God. One day this will be true in the kind of sense that our slow and creeping minds cannot now quite comprehend. One day for true our lives will flicker to the rhythm of a new song, indeed a song that will never end. Our voices will sing holy holy holy to the one who was and the one who is and the one who is to come. And we will see the Lamb of God with our own eyes and our new scribed bodies quiver with the bliss that is only right for those who are called true sons. Oh how glorious a day that will be and now I meditate on that moment when the kingdom is finally fully here in a way it can never be right now. For sure this kingdom is partially now but still not yet culminated is the final resurrection and the moment when the angels cry glory as they see the glory that has been won. But think now on these thoughts that fill my mind and I muse in uplifted wonder that even now in this quiet moment on my quiet couch I write in the presence of very God. His Spirit fills me even as he has sealed me and peace floods my soul. Now my voice whispers glory glory oh glorify your name. And in a small still voice printed on these pages I see written that he has and that he will. And so forever do I cherish the indisputable fact that I now reside in shocking sonship of the very God to whom my soul longs to forever cling. Ever confident in the blood that Jesus shed for me I can now only cry glory glory glory glory to my King.

Fountains

once upon a time in a world not so different from our own
spoke a man to a woman of truths of things unseen
and though for a moment she hesitated wondering if perhaps
he spoke in a way that seemed insane
instead she listened for a moment more
and in that moment for eternity
her life was changed
so why now would we not think more deeply
on the myth that just might be true
and consider what it means
to believe in the one
who died and rose
and even now stretches out a hand
to you

Banquet

pay closer attention to these things your ears have heard
rest your eyes upon these green and lush pasturelands
through the gate which before you rises
enter in for your salvation!
for chief is this cornerstone
this festal sacrifice upon the altar laid
light of the world in whom we have true and perfect rest
oh blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!
do not drift away from our solemn and most sacred faith
feast on sweeter meats that are passed down the table
and rest your soul upon this precious faith of which
author and perfecter is
our good shepherd
Jesus