Starlight

This morning the dark lingers. The depth of winter grasps onto the light and keeps it away and while I would appreciate the first rays of sunlight to creep over the horizon, I know I must wait a few more minutes yet. Even so, I now appreciate the fact that I am beginning this week as the year winds to an end and I reflect over all that has been and muse over that which is and shall be. I wish to meditate upon truth in the lamplight that now spills over my shoulder. I have a book upon my lap which contains more of reality than my mind can ever grasp and I gasp to consider that the stars that blaze out overhead cannot outshine the enormity of the pillars of creation that have given me such a sure and steady confidence in the very God who holds my hand. Oh yes I am quite guilty of mixing a few metaphors as I attempt to muster my thoughts – consider that a testimony to the awe that fills my soul as I drink deep the love of God who fills all my dry and dusty places. For yes, this book that I mentioned earlier is the very Word of God – crafted by his hand and set afore us in the wisdom that is beyond our ken. But we may ask – is not this book merely written by common men? This is when our intellectual yearnings take over and we burn to find out more. I would wager – as indeed I have – that this book can hold up to any questions we can throw against it. Just taste and see. There is a divine reason that this book has held up throughout these many years and has placed such a burning in the hearts of those touched by the very Spirit of God. My heart longs for beauty. But beauty unmoored from reality is really no beauty at all, wouldn’t you say? And realizing that, I look up to the stars that sing the songs of heaven and I consider the truths that have enlivened my very soul. From where does my soul come? Or rather – from whom? Why do I long for that which my eyes cannot yet see? I yearn to meet the God greater than that which can be imagined by my little mind. But I do know him as he has for eternity known that he would be with me. What wonders, wonders fill my mind! See the light step over the horizon. I sip my mug of coffee and feel the pleasure that comes with that perfect first cup. Someday a more perfect pleasure will blaze in my soul as I sit at the feet of Jesus Christ and hear his words to me. For now though – I will echo the call of eternity for it does ring in even these everyday mundane realities. There is a song of joy that I would join and so I must away!

The Pond at Camelot

Why does she keep writing? I wish to echo her song but I keep finding myself left behind. There’s a piece of magic in the pieces that proceed from her pen, a poetry that expresses itself in such a manner that would be envied by the Romantics of yesteryear. I find myself speechless. Hence why I retreat back to my own garret and proceed to scribble responses that I’d never dare send to her. Her writings stand alone, dominant and unshakeable in their conviction of the beauty that thrills the soul. My writings would be merely reflections, meaningless apart from the source. Perhaps I could dialogue with her and sharpen her analysis of the true nature of the world. Perhaps I could send her a fond note in which I drop a few hints that she’s persuaded me too. Perhaps the only worth I have is in holding a candle up to the parchment pages that she’s filled with life. I cannot use any other word for it. Her poetry is life itself, bursting and singing forth the bones of reality itself. Do you see that cherry tree out yonder past the stone wall? I’ve sat there many times, holding up its trunk with my stiff neck. Yet it was not until I read her lines that I truly grasped the beauty of a cherry blossom in spring, even though my eyes surely must have at many times seen that very sight. The tinder is carefully laid and the wood is prepared near to hand. I cannot argue against the testimony of my heart that cries out in the night. Sometimes it seems the night mutterings are more true than the daytime blatherings. I would walk up and shake her hand but I fear she’d turn away knowing I was not worthy. I am not worthy. I walk up to the bookshelves that line this room and run my finger across every spine. The way is prepared and the path is cleared. Where is the spark? I wait for it to fly for only then will I be prepared to die. Her poems speak of dustpans and green curtains and islands in the blue. And even when she talks of teatime at dusk in all its mundanity, I see it, that hope of that which is to come. I pull up a chair and lay down my book. It opens to a proper page for of course it does. She smiles and reaches out her hand. Trembling, I hold out mine.

Suspension

One more book to discuss this beautiful Christmas Eve day.

69. Good Tidings of Great Joy by C.H. Spurgeon. A fantastic little book pointing us to the beauty and wondrous truth that is the incarnation of Christ. A book I’ve been looking forward to reading for some time, I decided it was a perfect “Christmas read”. And so it has turned out to be. Reading this these last few weeks leading up to Christmas (and writing this now on Christmas Eve!) has been delightfully encouraging and soul-enlivening. Oh how good it is to consider the foundation of our salvation – the very person and work of Christ! This book is an ideal devotional book, with each “chapter” being only 3-4 pages long and each full of rich truths and passionate declarations of God’s mercies towards us. As always with Spurgeon, his writings are both pastoral in nature and exceedingly glorifying of God, full of rich metaphors and heartfelt pleading for us to consider Jesus. I found my heart stirred as I read this book. It definitely helped to give myself time to sit and be quiet in both body and soul as I read, as we are oh so harried these days by all the stresses of modern life and it is easy to let ourselves be distracted by all the troubles that surround us. But as I took a deep breath and read and meditated on the truths of God expounded by Spurgeon in this little book, I found my heart exceedingly blessed and I enjoyed true rest. We ought to spend more time meditating on the truths of God and our salvation and letting our minds soar to think of things above as we muse on the salvation that is ours in Jesus Christ our Lord – and this book mightily assists with that.

Tears Upon the Angel’s Face

Book review post! (Surprise!)

68. Art and Fear by David Bayles & Ted Orland. A book about making art and all the perils that come with. Was a bit disappointed by it as I think maybe I expected something a bit more profound? Yes, the authors weren’t trying to write a treatise on the meaning of Art or about what comprises art (Everything? Nothing?) and they also weren’t necessarily trying to classify who belongs in the Artist category. Yet still? This book felt both a bit perfunctory and a bit unfocused. Definitely a few good takeaways here and there (especially the idea that the very creation of a particular piece of art is something done only once, as the artist is given of himself at a particular moment in time and the process of creating necessarily changes both the artist and the world in that moment) yet perhaps this is a book that should be read all at once. I may have done it a disservice by reading it disjointedly over the span of two weeks. I did enjoy mulling over the idea that the only work worth doing is that which is focused on something the artist cares about. Only that is “true art”, perhaps? Maybe I was not the right audience for this work. Very much felt like the authors were writing to “professional” artists, those who make their living from their art (or at least want to). Is it possible to be an artist who creates art yet not be an Artist? Maybe? The authors didn’t really engage with this. Also was uncertain of a few statements made that we can only really make art that dialogues with the ethos in which we live – obviously making religious art in these post-modern days doesn’t really work, according to the author. Of course that’s me stretching the point perhaps farther than the author meant to imply, yet I was amused at the idea that all of us today are so monolithic in thought that certain old ideas are no longer feasible as artistic subjects. I would beg to differ, as I would postulate (from at least my own experience) that religious truths are even now a very present concern and impetus for the creation of true Art. To sum up? Not a bad book by any means. But it feels a bit dated (even though it was written a bare 30 years ago!) and I don’t think adds much to the general conversation. If you are an aspiring professional artist? This would probably be at least mildly worthwhile.

Little Children

How lovely it is to know and be known by God. This morning I rest in Him, knowing that I am safe and secure in His care, knowing that my future is bright beyond all imagining. And I do not count my future bright because I tabulate up the money or prestige that may one day be mine, nor because I consider all the love that comes my way from those whom I love deeply. Nay, I count my future bright because I look forward with sure hope that I shall one day be sitting in the presence of my God and for all eternity be living in perfect harmony with Him. This eternal life is my hope and my song all the day long. And I do not say it is my hope because of the length of life – if eternity can be defined in length – and the absence of death. That would not be enough. I could not count eternal life my supreme good if this life did not consist in communion with God. Of course, absence of fellowship with God could not in actuality be called life at all. It would be something far worse.

So I circle back and say that this eternal life to which I pin all my hopes and dreams – in realistic fashion since they are based on that real life which was pinned to that real tree oh so many years ago – is a life that fills my heart with song since I know this life will be me sitting at the feet of my Lord in bliss and endless joy. The Spirit within me sings this song and it knows this song since it was the song that it is has written. I know this song because I know the love that my Father has bestowed upon me calling me his very child! Oh such I am! And I know my Father because I know His Son who sweetly calls me every day into deeper fuller communion with Himself in the most perfect symphony of love and grace and sovereign compassion. I know this symphony that I now shakingly lift my voice to sing a minor part because I know Jesus Christ. He is my Shepherd that calls my name and bids me walk along this eternal path towards my home that has been prepared for me. Jesus is the bread that I take and eat in awestruck love knowing what it means that He died for me. Jesus Jesus is my song for now and for all eternity.

Lute Song

A few random writings on this cold December night.

oh some days he wants to
dance
and others he simply desires
that others understand
that he cannot be the joy
today
only he wants maybe a hug
and to sit
and think
and write
and pray

can you feel the sparkles she asks
or is it only me
he smiles and replies
i can
but only when i look into
your eyes

a cup of tea and a big thick book!
give me an hour or two
and i shall be finished
oh no she says
i know better
you may very well be done
with this one
but then you’ll just
grab another

why do we think that fire is so miraculous
the way we stare entranced into
the dancing flames
is it that we both love and fear it
and that perhaps this feeling
echoes something deeper in us
than we now understand

Cinderella

See how the lights dance now that the sun has set. Christmas lights would not be so marvelous was it not for the contrasting hues of darkness that surround and infuse this little set apart neighborhood ensconced in the metropolitan hustle and bustle. She walks down the sidewalk and gazes in wonder at the waterfall of light that adorns the high and haughty trees that guard this one corner house. The house itself is a bit humble, no gaudy pillars or high balconies to proclaim its worth. But the family that dwells therein – for surely it is a family, for why else would the little soccer goal sit on the front lawn? – has decided to throw itself into the dance of the advent season with joy and to spare. There are little lights everywhere on the house – white lights, coloured lights, sparkling lights, LED lights and little fat bulb lights. Somehow it skirts the right side of the tacky or classy divide and it all just feels right. Or so the girl decides as she stands between the feature that imparts the most joy to her heart. For all the trees have strings of light descending from them. These strings sway gently in the cold December wind and the effect is as if the stars of heaven are dancing down a stairway to mingle with the souls of earth. Who knows how high of a ladder was needed to cover the trees of this yard with such a festive bouquet of lights, but the mechanics of the light parade do not bother the girl at this moment. Instead she simply hugs herself in awe at the wonderous lights that play across her smiling face. Her scarf pulled snug around her neck and her gloves red in the glow, she presents a pretty sight herself. There is something wholesome and beautiful about a girl who is so sweetly thrilled. And this evening is one she shall always remember. She needs to go home and put on a pot of tea and heat up the leftovers, but for now? She can spare a moment just to rest and let her heart be filled this quiet little December night.

Emmanuel

How wonderful it is to sit nice and warm at home after an encouraging and enlivening Lord’s day! Dani and I just spent a delightful hour down at EQ (in the last week of its existence, oh alas alas!) and truly enjoyable was it to sit on the porch there in the fading light of evening on this December evening. Dani read a bit more of her book (she’s almost done with Wrinkle in Time!!) and I read a bit more of the Spurgeon I’m currently reading for Advent season (Good Tidings of Great Joy – a wonderful book dwelling on the miracle and loveliness of the incarnation!) and it was ever so refreshing to sip tea, read and enjoy each other’s company. Now…home again and I really do mean to try and write something creative and we shall see if I’m successful. I’ve actually been writing quite a bit of creative works lately, for which I am ever so thankful to God for blessing me with such thoughts and the will to pen them. Sometimes I ponder what is the point of writing so many words – is it not all futility at the end? Smoke in the breeze and all that? Perhaps. Yet I’m grateful for the gift that is writing. Tis a wondrous gift and I will never cease to be thankful for it.

Speaking of, I shall now attempt a bit. Farewell, dear friends. Rest in the joy of the Lord this beautiful day as we dwell on the miracle that is God become Man and all that necessarily proceeds from that fount.

Shoreline

The room was full of paper, reams of it, heaps of it! And he waded through the paper as one trudges through the midwinter snow, grimly stepping through it as he knew he must. He feared he was damaging beyond the point of no return hours of scribbling. And he knew better than most the pains that these writings had inflicted upon her heart. But there was nothing for it now if he was going to reach where she now lived beyond world’s end. Fascinating, was it not, how quickly treasured mementos become waste paper. But this room that had harbored so many midnight hours of fevered creation now felt a bit hollow and empty. Almost it felt as if this room knew at its core that she was gone, gone forever. He reached the table next to the bed and saw the candle still flickering an inch above the little chipped porcelain saucer. She had not been gone long, as this world counts time. But why had she emptied her trunks of writing, why had she torn out the pages of years of journaling, why were her poems scattered far and wide throughout this room that had heard so many years of song and tears? Had she taken any poems with her? That was the question. He reached down a hand into the gently swirling depths of paper at his feet and pulled out a piece at random. It was a sheet he recognized, unsurprisingly. An ode to summertime. He smiled – it was one of her quirky silly ones, lilting in meter and light in tone. At the bottom she’d sketched a quick daisy. That had been a good day, one of hiking through lush green meadows and laughing at the play of waterfalls. There had even been a picnic, as is proper on a full summer day such as that had been. And she’d written that right on the bank of the stream after their stomachs had been filled with sandwiches and chips and carrots. He’d been half-asleep across the stream, gazing up at the way the light fluttered amongst the canopy of green above.

He smiled now, and wiped away the tear that threatened to fall. Oh Isabel, where are you? And why have you left me now amidst the detritus of your most treasured writings? Harry shook his head in fear, wondering what his next step was to be. He stood in the middle of an ocean of paper and felt as if he was a rock shivering underneath the midwinter rain off the coast of southern England. Oddly specific to be sure, but that was the last place he had seen Isabel and so the thought came natural. Here were the remnants of all Isabel’s dreamy musings. Harry fumbled through his pocket and pulled out his phone. No texts. There had not been any these many months but hope is oddly unrealistic at times. He looked around him at the paper swamping what had once been Isabel’s room and he sank to his knees. There was no time to waste. And so he gazed at the sheets of paper all around and looked up at the weathered ceiling and finally finally began to pray.