Ahhh, I’m so frustrated right now. I know I said I was tired a few minutes ago, but I really really wanted to get some writing done(hmm, maybe I should have been packing instead), but for some reason I just CANNOT write a poem to save my life. I know the subject, I know the feeling, I know the passion…but for some reason, my fingers cannot express the words that my mind feels. Ah well. I guess it’s just not meant to be. At least tonight.
Anyway, while I’m up, just thought I would express a few thoughts on my upcoming third year in college…first of all, it’s just so hard to believe that I’m actually entering my THIRD YEAR. Whenever I met a new coworker at Sweetbay(mostly high school students) and they found out I was already in my third year of college, I received surprised looks at being so old and “advanced”. I was reading through some of my old posts from back in 2004, my senior year at Gaither, and I can’t believe that I’ve already gone through two years of college. In some ways, it’s sad, because I feel I was so much more innocent back then, but I’m also grateful for all the things I’ve learned these past few years, for all the growing(emotionally, mentally, spiritually) that I’ve done. But still, I’m twenty now and I have the feeling that more is expected of me now. I’m not just a high-school student. I’m not just a college newbie. I’m expected to learn how to make my way in this world we live in. Scary, yes. But also inspiring. Because I know I CAN do these things. Sure I’ll struggle(and I already have) but by the help of God I will do amazing things in my future.
And I wonder, what will three more years bring? Three years ago, when I first started this journal, I had no idea what I’d be like in 2007. I had no idea what my direction was or who my best friends would be. But now I know what I’m doing, know that I want to be an industrial engineer, know that I have some awesome friends in my life, people I didn’t even know three years ago. But it’s what I don’t know now that intrigues me. Three years from now, where will I be working? Or will I be working? Will I still be in school? Will I have someone special in my life? I can sort of foresee the answers to at least the beginning questions, but as to the last one, I have no idea. Sort of fun to wonder though.
And that’s another thing that I’ve been thinking more about lately, about having a girl in my life who would be my friend, my love, my future…I know it sounds a little mushy thinking like that, but I do get lonely sometimes for that kind of relationship, despite all the great friends(and great God) that I have. And I wonder what my future holds in that regard. And I pray.
But enough of all that, and back to the future. Or, er, the present. I really am getting rather tired and suppose that I won’t get any writing done now. For real now, goodnight, all!
Something Weird 