Hey, it’s an update! What do ya know about that….
Well, I know I haven’t really updated for a while, but hey. I’ve been busy. College manages to do that. It’s odd, I’d thought that I’d have a lot of free time here at college, and while in a way I do, I always find things to do…so it feels like I’m always running behind. I have a calculus quiz this Wednesday and a chemistry quiz on Thursday, and I don’t feel adequately ready for either one. You could call that my own fault, and it probably is…ah well. One of the big skills to learn at college is self-motivation. If you don’t have it, you better learn it if you want to succeed at college. Or else just take really easy classes. Which mine aren’t. Curse me and my lofty ambitions! Of course, as I’m writing this now, I have a lab report to write and calculus homework to do. But I feel so out of it, I needed a break to refocus.
It’s amazing, while you’re at home, you can’t wait to get away to college. And then while you’re at college, at times you really want to be at home. Maybe I’m alone in this, but last weekend, it was one of the greatest things to be back in Tampa, just relaxing in my house with my family…eating good home-cooked food, sleeping in my old bed…having people around you to take care of you. Whereas at college, I’m soley responsible for my welfare. If I want to eat, I need to walk out of my dorm and go down to the dining hall or to a restaurant. But when I was at home, as soon as I walked in the door, my mom had hot chicken soup ready for me, and when I asked for it, my little sister brought me toast with jam…the next day, my dad asked me what I’d like for breakfast. I told him I was in the mood for pancakes and he made them for me. My little sister following me around, just talking about random things with me…I miss that. And no, I’m not homesick. I just realize how great home really is. When I was sick last week, it really was not cool to be in the dorm. I had to go to the doctor, get the medicine, take care of myself…didn’t have my mom to take care of me. I’m sure you understand what I mean. I’m not whining about wanting to back home, just reflecting on the differences between college and home.
One of the things I like most about college is the freedom. At home, I was much more restricted in my activities, where now I can do pretty much anything I want(which is sometimes a bad thing!). If I want to go over and visit Andrew and Chris, I can just get up from my chair and walk over to their place in 10 minutes. At home, I had parental restrictions on what I did and didn’t do. Here I don’t. Of course, that makes me learn I need to learn responsibility – doing what’s right and best.
And then it’s odd hanging out with friends in different settings – you really get to see what people are like. Things change so much in college – we’re not kids still living with our parents, we’re adults. And we act like adults(well, at least most of the time)…we’re all changing, becoming who we truly are. But it’s an odd transition, people discovering what they like to do, what they want to do..who they want to be. Of course, the friends I have now, I won’t have forever, but I’m enjoying the times I have with people now. I just wish that people wouldn not go with masks over their faces, shadowing their true form. So many people hide their true selves so as not to offend or push people away. That only makes relationships more strained…not less. This is all a part of growing up, finding out where you fit with people, where you fit in the world.
So many good things have happened in the last few weeks, some strange things, some new experiences, but it’s all good. Of course, the best thing to happen in the last year(can’t remember past that) was Sweeney’s salvation…one of the best feelings in the world, like eating a chocolate sundae, except multiplied a hundred thousand times. That made college so much more rich for me. 🙂 And then meeting new people here – I love finding out what other people are like, and getting to know other people from all these different places – simply wonderful. Something I love about college is all the different people. Every day, as I’m walking to class, I see new and different faces – so many different lives behind those faces, so many different trials, so many different joys.
And then classes themselves. I love International Relations – the world is truly a dynamic and changing place, and one of my favorite things to do is learn and talk about what’s going on between different countries…that’s basically what this class is. It makes me giddy in there sometimes, just talking with the teacher and other students about what’s going on in the world currently. My other classes aren’t quite so great…chemistry is fairly easy, but dry and uninteresting. Calculus is both very difficult and very dry. Physics is also difficult and boring. And Intro to Engineering is easy(attendance-based), and it’s sometimes interesting, sometimes boring. Sometimes I question my major…I think I’m supposed to like physics and calculus if I’m majoring in engineering…but my grades certainly don’t reflect that. Sometimes I get scared by how I’m doing in those classes. This is my whole life ahead of me – I can’t screw up.
Ok, contemplation of life time over…I probably should get back to writing. Before I do that, I leave you with this…random reflection of…things:
Sometimes
Sometimes it’s alright to run
Sometimes it’s alright to hide
Sometimes it’s alright to cover
your face
and cry
But when you finish
when your tear-streaked
face comes off the pillow
and you realize your life
is yours
you must defend it
and fight
You have no other option
no other way to run
but forward now
run the race
take your place
and to no person bow
but forward
and take your prize.
That was just written now…so it may not be technically good, but I like it…
Anyone who read all of that…thanks. ^_^
Something Weird 